3 Chords & the Truth: Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

In the festive, yuletide sense of the term, as opposed to the festive, misogynistic sense.

It's the week before Christmas, and 3 Chords & the Truth is giving the gift of music this year! Of course, that's exactly what we gave last year, too.

And the year before.

As a matter of fact, the Big Show gives the gift of music every single episode, and we don't need a special excuse -- like Christmas, for example -- to do it. That is truth.

Public relations, however, dictates that we make it sound like giving the gift of music is a special Christmas thing. You need a good peg for proper public relations, and the promiscuous consumption and self-indulgence of the holiday season fills the bill for pimpin' the Big Ho . . . er, Show.

SO CONSIDER yourself sold. And remember to tell your mom that you absolutely, positively have to have a whole bunch of 3 Chords & the Truth this Christmas, or you'll just die! I mean, all the other kids are getting the Big Show this Christmas, and she just can't let you be some kind of freak.

What will everybody say about you on Facebook, after all?

I swear to God, everybody is downloading the thing -- this 3 Chords & the Truth -- and if she doesn't get it for you . . . YOU . . . WILL . . . JUST . . . DIE.

You'll hold your breath until you turn blue.

You'll throw a tantrum.

You'll cry forever.

You swear to God.

OF COURSE, this is one case where getting what you want will actually be good for you. Unlike all that Easter candy last spring.

3 Chords & the Truth actually will expand your mind and, as an extra added bonus at no additional cost, feed your soul.

Some have even reported developing good musical taste. Your mileage, however, may vary.

So ask your mom for lots of the Big Show this Christmas. You -- and she -- will be glad you did.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.