Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts

Friday, June 28, 2019

Ignore the Johnsons, reap the whirlwind

I attribute the present state of American culture and politics to, back in 1980, people not listening to the anti-drug message of the Brothers Johnson.
Angel dust was, and is, some bad juju.
Things could have been so, so different today had we listened to some common sense advice and not trusted that dust. But we didn't, and now we must rely on legal weed and lethal opioids to dull the screaming of our brains as they react to the suck surrounding us.

The suck that came because "Don't trust that Dust" was just too flippin' complicated a message for we idiots to embrace 39 years ago . . . when we still might have had a chance in hell.
That is all.

Friday, April 27, 2018

We dropped some brown acid, man

"To get back to the warning that I have received -- you may take it with however many grains of salt you wish -- that the brown acid that has been circulating around us is not, specifically, too good. It's suggested that you do stay away from that. Of course, it's your own trip, so be my guest. But please be advised that there is a warning on that one, OK?"
-- Chip Monck
Master of ceremonies,
Woodstock, 1969

Many odd and sometimes disturbing things about the 1960s and '70s, for those of us who came of age during those decades, can be explained or put into context merely by saying "It was the (fill in the blank)."

If that explanation does not suffice, blame the brown acid, man.

As we consider the person and "music" career of the late Tiny Tim -- seen here in a record-label ad from the June 8, 1968, edition of Billboard magazine -- I'm going straight to the brown-acid excuse.

Dude. Tiny Tim, born Herbert Buckingham Khaury in 1932, was the brown acid. Listening to Tiny Tim on your AM or FM radio . . . watching him on your 21-inch Magnavox . . . it was like being in the presence of an off-key castrato undergoing electroshock treatment.

Boy howdy.

MY UNFORTUNATE double- and triple-knit sartorial choices from the end of 1969 until marrying into a wardrobe-control regimen in 1983? "It was the '70s."

That Tiny Tim sold records and was all over network television and the radio, too? "The brown acid that had been circulating around us was not, specifically, too good."

Seriously. It was some bad shit, man.

You bet your sweet bippy, it was.

Friday, June 12, 2015

He meth have misspoken

This is your anchorman. This is your anchorman on . . . meth?

At least this is your anchorman with meth on the brain. Well, this certainly explains a lot about Channel 6 here in Omaha.

I understand this clip made it to the Tonight Show.

They don't call it Channel Sux for nothing. And remember, pass the meth pipe from the left-hand side. Now, name that '80s pop-culture reference.
Now back to Mary Jane at the anchor desk.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Meth-cookers of Wal-Mart

Tulsa police arrest a woman for mixing chemicals to make meth inside a south Tulsa Walmart on Thursday.

Elizabeth Alisha Greta Halfmoon, 45, also known to go by Alisha Halfmoon, was arrested for endeavoring to manufacture meth at the 81st and Lewis store.

Police say surveillance video shows Halfmoon had been in the store since noon. Six hours later security noticed she was acting suspicious, so they called Tulsa police.

Responding officers say she claimed she was "too broke to buy the chemicals."

“She didn’t have the money to make the purchases of the chemicals that were needed so she was taking what was needed in the bottle,” says Officer David Shelby.

-- From Fox23,
Tulsa, Okla.

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers! In the back of the store today, we have a special discount on Mexican elves hanging car parts in the Christmas trees.

Also, the walls are melting and everything is free during our Thursday promotion.

Do you like snickerdoodles? I like snickerdoodles! Wanna make some snickerdoodles?

Wait! Wait! Wait! I got an idea. Let's clean the store! There's a lot of us, so we could do it really fast! Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't mess with the Mexican elves! They'll throw those car parts at you if you move the trees.

Honest, you don't want to take a piston in the eye.

Wow! I am so not hungry, y'all!

My teeth! My teeth! They're rotting!

Take advantage of our special Wal-Mart back-store bargain now! As soon as the cops arrive, it expires!

And thank you for shopping . . .
and whatever else . . . at your Tulsa Wal-Mart.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Powdery with a 100% chance of death

Sooooooey! You just can't make this stuff up.

I guess this just isn't a good stretch for broadcast personalities. Or, for that matter, their "friends," as we learn from all manner of Little Rock, Ark., media. Well, not so much from weatherman Brett Cummins' employer, KARK television, but from pretty much everybody else.

Like Arkansas Business, for example:

Authorities have interviewed Brett Cummins of Little Rock television station KARK-TV, Channel 4, multiple times since he was found asleep in a hot tub Monday morning with a dead man next to him, Maumelle Police told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

Police have also spoken to Christopher Barbour, who owns the home where the body was found.

No charges have been filed against Cummins or Barbour, and police told The AP they are not treating the case as a criminal investigation.

Maumelle Police spokesman Lt. Jim Hansard says police have received preliminary results of an autopsy of 24-year-old Dexter Williams, who was found dead. He declined to release those findings, citing the ongoing investigation. A full autopsy report could be released later.
BUT WHY WOULD the cops want to interview the weather guesser "multiple times," you ask?

The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette has the criminological data for Monday, Sept. 5:

According to a police report, officers responded to 16 Village Way around 8 a.m. Monday and found the naked body of 24-year-old Dexter Williams lying on the floor of what was described as a Jacuzzi hot tub. Williams reportedly had what appeared to be a dog collar around his neck. It was connected to a silver chain.

The homeowner, identified as 36-year-old Christopher Barbour, told police Cummins had come over the night before with Williams. He said Cummins and Williams then began drinking and using illegal drugs, the report said.

Barbour reportedly told investigators all three men went into the hot tub, but that he left around 11 p.m. The next morning, Barbour heard Cummins snoring and then saw both he and Williams were still in the tub, which had no water in it, according to the report.

"After Brett awoke they discovered that Dexter was unconscious and his face was a different color," police wrote in the report. "He then explained that Brett screamed and became ill and left the bathroom and vomited on the carpet in the living room."

Cummins was not at the home when police arrived Monday morning, but he later returned and provided a statement, police said.

The station did cover the incident on its website and on its newscast, noting that Cummins was in the house, that no charges had been filed and that police were investigating whether drugs and alcohol played a role in the death.


"Our Meteorologist Brett Cummins was at the home at the time of the death and we felt we should share this with our viewers," a posting on the station's website,, said. "Brett will not be on the air as he is mourning the loss of his friend."

KARK anchor Bob Clausen read a similar report on the station's 5 p.m. newscast.

"Our thoughts naturally are with Brett and with the family and friends of Dexter Williams," he said.

I'LL JUST bet they are. So are the thoughts, at least, of newspapers around the world.

Because . . . one more time . . . you just can't make this stuff up.

P.S.: The most relieved town in America this week is Baton Rouge, La. Channel 33 there -- the city's longtime Island of Misfit Broadcasters -- was Cummins' last professional layover before making his way back to Little Rock and those lucky, lucky no-commenters at KARK.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The mark of. . . .

This is kind of like being the only kid in your school named Phuc, only worser.

As in bang, bang, shoot, shoot, messing-with-Mexican-drug-cartels, holy-crap-I-might-end-up-dead bad.

As in "Just call me Judy. Please?"

Reuters has the sign-o'-the-times story, right here:

A Texas state senator's beloved signature symbol will be reluctantly stripped from her campaign vehicle and rally signs this weekend after police in her border town warned it could draw unwelcome attention from Mexican drug cartels.

Veteran Democratic Sen. Judith Zaffirini is known by her friends, loved ones and constituents simply as "Z."

But authorities told her sister recently that the symbol, which translates in Spanish to "zeta," could cause the truck to be mistaken for vehicles belonging to the deadly "Zeta" cartel, based on the Texas-Mexico border.

Zaffirini told Reuters on Saturday she was grateful for the warning, but found it "disappointing" and "mind-boggling."

"Sadly, we will remove the 'Z' from our campaign vehicle and will not use it at rallies or other public places," she said.

Late last month, police in downtown Laredo pulled over Zaffirini's sister, Josie Pappas. The officer pointed to three bumper stickers on the pick-up's back window.

The stickers, bearing the word "Zaffirini," were applied in a big "Z" formation on the glass of the blue Ford F-150 truck.

Pappas told Reuters the officer asked her if she had noticed "cars full of men passing me by and staring back" at her car recently.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Whither 'K&B purple'?

Don't mind me.

I'm just sittin' here in a nostalgic funk, watchin' K&B drug-store commercials and weeping for my lost youth.

And I don't even have a bottle of K&B vodka to crawl into.
Damn you, Father Time! Damn you and your smirking emo apprentice!

And don't forget the Alka-Seltzer and disposable douche. Big night.


Friday, December 17, 2010

Your Daily '80s: Miley, listen to this guy

Jon Bon Jovi had something to say about drugs back in 1987.

He was against 'em. After having been for 'em, which didn't work out very well.

Me, I'm against both illegal drugs
and cell phones that shoot video. I bet I'm not the only one.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Lindsay's fickle finger of (epic) fail

Once upon a time, you could bargain with the barbarians.

Even Attila the Hun could be persuaded by Pope Leo the Great not to sack Rome.

But in our addle-minded age of unceasing incivility, nothing and no one, I'm afraid, can dissuade Lindsay Lohan and her whole generation of poor little rich kids from a ruthless sacking of what's left of Western civilization. What's to be said for a society where it's possible for the famously troubled actress to go into a Los Angeles courtroom to beg a judge for mercy, all the while giving the honorable court -- and the world -- a fingernail-sized "f*** you"?

TONGUES were wagging on the Fox 411 blog:
Lindsay Lohan may have come with a message for the Los Angeles Superior Court when she appeared for her probation revocation hearing on Tuesday, and it could spell more jail time on top of her three-month sentence.

Lohan, who was sentenced to 90 days in prison and 90 days in an in-patient rehabilitation facility for violating the terms of her probation, appeared in court
with the words “f**k u” printed on her middle fingernail.

And according to one expert, this could spell serious trouble for her sentencing, which was already triple the amount that the prosecution requested. reviewed photos from three separate photo agencies -- Thompson Reuters, Associated Press and Getty -- all of which appeared to display the words on her middle left-hand fingernail.

A Thompson Reuters rep told in a statement that “the images of Lindsay Lohan published yesterday by Reuters were not altered beyond the normal bit of toning to correct color balance and contrast.”

An Associated Press rep said that after discussion among their photo editors, they sent out an advisory to clients that read in part "EDS NOTE: OBSCENE LANGUAGE ON LEFT MIDDLE FINGERNAIL."

If indeed Lohan's message was aimed toward the courts, "it would be a separate charge for contempt,” says New York City Public Defender Stacy Schneider. “She
could have an entire extra sentence heaped on top of her current one. If the judge were angry enough, it could run even consecutively.”

Los Angeles Public Defender Greg Apt echoed Schneider's sentiments, calling Lohan's fingernails a "creative" way to land in contempt of court.

"The judge could hold her in direct contempt, which could be between three to five days in jail for vulgarity," if the judge deemed the
words were aimed at the court, Apt said.
THAT'S THE RESPONSE of our terminally ill society. To debate whether or not Lohan's message was meant for the judge and, thus, constituted contempt of court.

On what planet is walking into your hearing with F U on a T-shirt, your lips or on your middle finger not contempt of court by definition? One can't imagine even ol' Attila tolerating suchlike.

But here on Planet Hollywood, it's just more grist for the media-fueled mill grinding down an entire civilization.

Lock the bitch up. Throw away the key. Then stop feeding the animals . . . and the voyeurs who love their dysfunction.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The sun rises in the east? Every day?

Who knew?

Really, who'd have thought that a 15-year-old girl would ever overdose and die at a humongous rave at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum? I think what we need is a blue-ribbon panel to study what may have gone wrong here, and why an underage girl would even want to go to such a thing, much less take illicit narcotics.

One is grateful the stadium's operator has declared a moratorium on raves of 185,000 people until we figure out what happens at such events, particularly how additional scores of youth ended up injured.

READ THE SHOCKING story of this totally unforeseen tragedy in this Associated Press dispatch:
Barry Sanders, president of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Commission, said he is ordering the venue's managers not to book any raves until the full commission takes up the issue at its July 16 meeting. At that time, he said he'll recommend that the full commission continue the moratorium.

The uproar over last weekend's 14th annual Electric Daisy Carnival has grown by the day as new details emerge about the mayhem and drug abuse that filled the Coliseum during the event, which featured carnival rides, light shows and appearances by techno star Moby and Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas.

Videos of the event show a generally peaceful crowd dancing to the music, but as evening falls the Coliseum's football field becomes tightly packed with revelers. At one point, as people leap over a fence to move from the seating area to the field, one of the performers launches into an expletive-filled tirade from the stage, demanding that the crowd violently push them back.
NOW, I THINK a prime focus of any investigative panel should be on whether any particular expletives were the triggers for the crowd violently setting upon fence-jumpers.

Also, it might be worth exploring whether everyone might have better gotten along
(and avoided "hard" drugs, too) if they had all just been issued medical marijuana to mellow them out. Another question: "magic" brownies, reefers or free disposable pipes?

Truly, unforeseen tragedies like this are the worst.