$#*! Capt. Kirk 'interprets'

People would have you believe we've progressed so much since the 1970s.

I disagree. I mean, look, for God's sake.

No, William Shatner was gracing us with $#*! the Actor Formerly Known as Capt. Kirk 'Interprets' when we all wore clothes that made humanity extremely vulnerable to open flame.


YOU THOUGHT that was a fluke, didn't you? HA!


WELL, surely we've progressed so much since the 1960s, right? No, Capt. Irk came out with a whole LP of this $#*! in 1968. I think that was the year of the brown acid.


SO, YOU SEE, when it comes to mass culture, $#*! is $#*!, no matter what the decade or whether or not your dad says it. Or "interprets" it, as the case may be.

The only difference between yesterday and today is the bleeps.

Thanks, William $#*!ner. Whom do we have to blame for you?


AH, YES. To quote a former American president, "The bombing starts in five minutes."

Your Daily '80s: Dance Fever!

One question about Lita Ford's appearance on this 1983 episode of Dance Fever.

If you're going to have Lita lip-sync into a dead wireless microphone, would it have been too much to plug a cable to nowhere into her electric guitar?


AND HERE'S a Dance Fever promo from 1985.

You know, new host Adrian Zmed was no Deney Terrio. That's not necessarily saying much about anything.

Now, if Dance Fever had had William Shatner (Zmed's old T.J. Hooker co-star) on the show to reprise his spoken-word version of "Rocket Man," that would have been somethin'.

Oh, look. I happen to have a copy.


IT'S NOT from the '80s (it's from the 1978 Science Fiction Awards show), but who cares? I'm not proud.