Showing posts with label Saturday Night Live. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Saturday Night Live. Show all posts

Monday, October 06, 2014

The LSU football season, explained

Well, that Auburn game was fugly.

Here's a handy guide that will explain LSU's football season thus far and, one hopes, provide a handy guide for what to expect as the Tigers stagger toward Thanksgiving and a merciful end to the 2014 campaign.

Above, we have a brief video recap of LSU's 7-41 non-triumph against That Other Football Team in Alabama.

But before that merciful November end, the Fighting Toonces have to get through six more Southeastern Conference games with nothing more than a defense without a clue and an offense without a prayer. So let's look at the remainder of the schedule, along with LSU's prospects in each.

NEXT UP is a trip Saturday to Gainesville, Fla., home of the FLORIDA GATORS. Here's a preview:

THEN, at home on Oct. 18, a much-improved KENTUCKY. Again, to the game preview:





Monday, November 14, 2011

This pretty much covers it

You says you don't learn anything from TV?

Why, just this past weekend on Saturday Night Live, we learned that even Satan has his limits.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Simply '70s: News for the hard of hearing

In October 1973, Broadcasting magazine reported on how Boston's public-television station would begin captioning the nightly network news for the hard of hearing.

This lasted a while, but a couple of years later NBC came up with a better method of making TV news accessible for those with hearing difficulties.

The new technique certainly beat slaving over a hot Vidifont keyboard for hours and hours every night, and it offered the possibility of real-time translation -- as opposed to every newscast being delayed for hours while being captioned.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Change you can wait for

As I write, Glenn Beck probably is giving a Fox News Channel camera the crazy look as he misspells things on his chalkboard and says something like this:

"You need to look at who Barack HUSSEIN Obama surrounds himself with and realize that he, as we speak, is imposing a radical COMMUNIST agenda on this nation. . . .

"That's right, Barack HUSSEIN Obama is imposing a radical communist agenda on the United States. . . .

"I said IMPOSING a radical COMMUNIST AGENDA. As I speak. . . .

"The president, if he is indeed the president, is RIGHT NOW effecting a COMMUNIST TAKEOVER . . . RIGHT NOW . . . as I speak. . . ."


CUE THE waterworks in three, two, one. . . .

First Read at

Friday, July 24, 2009

Stop socialized space travel!

I miss the Soviet Union.

Without the Red Menace to push us and scare us -- without the dadblamed commerniss Russkies to goad us into transcending our inherent pettiness and whackjobbery to achieve greatness purely out of spite -- it's no wonder we can't get a damned thing done in this country nowadays.

In the 1960s, we had "dominoes" falling, commies lurking, nuclear war looming and college campuses overrun by Red-loving pinko freaks. In that most tumultuous of decades, national humiliation was just one cosmonautical feat of derring-do away.

Our response to all that psychic trauma was to send Americans to the moon and bring them safely home again.

The Soviet Union, however, fell apart in 1991. Damn.

NOW, THERE'S NOTHING -- no common enemy, at least -- to keep our all-American whackjobs on the reservation. In this country, somebody's always going to be looking for Reds to bait, and without a large, reliable foreign Red Menace supplier, homegrown paranoiacs are turning against their own government and president.

For example,
this was the scene a reporter for The Advocate found in Baton Rouge, La., yesterday:
On the day after President Barack Obama asked the nation to back his planned revamp of the $2.4 trillion system that pays for health care, opponents and supporters squared off Thursday on the sidewalks surrounding the U.S. courthouse in downtown Baton Rouge.

Police officers kept the two groups — which police estimated to be about 125 people — apart as the sides shouted at one another.

The gathering was largely peaceful — police reported no arrests — but points made on health-care plans soon were overshadowed by arguments of whether the president is an American citizen.


Steven Walker of New Orleans, state director of Louisiana’s Organizing for America, said he wanted a handful of people to share their struggles caused by inadequate health-care insurance.

Obama’s plan would lower costs and free up options for people with insurance while giving people without insurance access to policies, said Walker, whose group is affiliated with the Democratic National Committee, which is promoting Obama’s agenda.

Walker said Obama’s plan would allow individuals greater choice.

“But this is a campaign of smear and fear,” Walker said pointing to an opposition sign that condemned the president as a communist.

“These people are anti-Obama,” he said.

A few feet down the sidewalk, on the other side of a cordon of police officers, Kurt Wagner, a Port Allen insurance sales manager, asked the crowd: “Is he rightfully the president?”

“No,” responded his listeners.

TO WHAT'S LEFT of the conservative base, President Obama not only is a "socialist," he's a Red pretender who isn't even American. Even amid the Great Clinton Freakout -- which at least had Whitewater, a high-level suicide and bimbo eruptions to hang its hat upon -- nobody for a minute questioned whether Bill was anything but an all-American, skirt-chasing, not-inhaling, draft-dodging pinko scalawag.

This won't do.

We need the Soviet Union back. We need a credible existential threat -- at least until al-Qaida proves it can take out midtown Manhattan -- to help us get over ourselves and get our rears in gear.

Otherwise, Allah only knows (Obama the Muslim made us all convert) how long we'll be letting the lunatics drive the agenda. Picture Toonces.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Holy crap!

Live from New York . . . Saturday Night has been canceled.

There's no more point, network executives say, when the late-night comedy staple's writing staff no longer can make this s*** up. What comedic ground is left for writers -- or a 34-year-old TV show -- to plow when you have Lee Majors hawking "bionic" hearing aids, and it's not a joke?

Comedy is dead. It has been replaced by real life.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Keith Olbermann's special torment

Make a note: Saturday night was when Keith Olbermann and MSNBC's Countdown jumped the shark.

I admit to having enjoyed watching Countdown -- taking it for what it is, which most definitely
is not a straight news show . . . what few of those exist anymore. I plead guilty as charged to loving me a good Bush-bashing, and few have been as good at that as Olbermann.


Customers at the Mouth-Foaming Outrage Store are limited to "X" quantity of purchases, and Keith Olbermann tried to get away with buying 72 shopping carts full of
"I'm pissed! PISSED, I tell you!" Note that "X" is less than 72, and the consequence was Ben Affleck's hilariously vicious sendup of Olbermann on Saturday Night Live..

As in the sad case of Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli, I'm afraid Olbermann and MSNBC will find it would have been more merciful had the shark not been safely cleared.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Tina Fey is Sarah Palin

Uncanny. I don't know whether I've ever seen a more dead-on parody of someone as Tina Fey's of GOP vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Analyzing cable's coverage of Ike

As we watch, for the 400th time, the "new video" of cars creeping around debris on Texas roads today in the wake of Hurricane Ike -- both in stand-alone mode and in multiple frames on the TV screen -- it reminds us cable news is almost as good a parody of itself as was the most devastatingly funny send up of television news ever.

That would be Saturday Night Live's "death of Buckwheat" sketch from March 1983.

All that needs to be said about television news got said 25 years ago. Enjoy.