Showing posts with label marijuana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marijuana. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

No, there's not really a man in it, either

This is an Arizona man's brain.

This is his brain on drugs.

And when this is your brain on drugs, you think "shoot the moon" is something more than just an expression.
Cameron Read, 39, was arrested on June 6 and admitted to smoking marijuana before trying to shoot the moon.

The man's girlfriend called 911 and said her boyfriend fired several shots from a handgun and was still armed at a home in the 4400 block of Preston.

Police said a 49-year-old woman and her 15-year-old son were in the home when Read reportedly fired a round out of the window, and they reported hearing several more shots as they fled the home. No one was hurt.

Prescott Valley police said they needed to use force to get Read into custody. He was booked into the Yavapai County Jail for two counts of disorderly conduct, two counts of endangerment, one count of resisting arrest, one count of criminal damage and one count of unlawful discharge of a firearm.
SOMETHING tells me that Cameron Read doesn't much. Particularly about science or physics. You know, books and articles that cover the concepts of propulsion, gravity and escape velocity.

It's just a hunch, but I'll bet I'm pretty spot on. Another hunch is that the killer weed he partook of might have claimed his last brain cell. Alas, he didn't have that many to spare.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Pass the Dutchie, man



Like . . . duuuuuuudddde! I mean, you know, man!

Duuuuuuuuude! Whoa!

Really, man. Duuuuuude!

Far out, man! Look what the AP is saying, man! But dude, isn't it, like, really spelled "A-P-P," man?

OH, DUDE! Whatever, man.
Marijuana-legalization votes last week in Colorado and Washington state don't just set up a state-federal showdown on drug law. They might open the door to pot tourism.

Both voter-approved measures, for the first time, make marijuana possession in small amounts OK for all adults 21 or older. That's not just the states' residents but visitors, too, so long as they buy and use the drug while in Colorado or Washington.

Of course, that's assuming the measures take effect at all. The states were still awaiting word on whether the U.S. Justice Department will sue to assert the supremacy of federal drug law, which doesn't allow recreational pot use.

So the future of marijuana tourism is hazy. But that hasn't stopped a fever of speculation, especially in Colorado, where tourism is the No. 2 industry, thanks to the Rocky Mountains and a vibrant ski industry.

The day after Colorado's measure passed by a wide margin, the headline in the Aspen Times asked, “Aspendam?” referring to Amsterdam's famous marijuana cafes.

Colorado's tourism director, Al White, tried to downplay the idea of a new boom.

“It won't be as big a deal as either side hopes or fears,” he said.

Still, many people are asking about it.

Ski resorts are “certainly watching it closely,” said Jennifer Rudolph of Colorado Ski Country USA, a trade association that represents 21 Colorado resorts.

Are there any plans for an adults-only après lounge, where skiers could get more than Irish coffee to numb their aches?

“There's a lot that remains to be seen,” Rudolph said with a chuckle. “I guess you could say we're waiting for the smoke to clear.”
LIKE, dude, you got any Doritos, man, to munch on while we're waiting on the smoke to clear, man?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

This is your brain. This is your brain
. . . what was the question, dude?

Because people are stupid . . . they sign up for Facebook groups like Medicinal Marijuana In the State of Nebraska and make it quite clear that they're not necessarily interested in the issue because they're puking their guts out from chemotherapy.

At least that's my layman's interpretation of comments such as "i love weed :)" on the group's "wall." And this:

see tim i told u ppl would join this s*** bc if ne1 says bud is harmful to u tell them to put down there beer or not to get in a car those r way more dangerous then weed
THEN AGAIN, there's a Jeff Spicoli in every crowd . . . like, y'know, man?

But in this crowd, it seems to me there's at least 497 complete idiots as I write. That would be the total number of group members, many of them eastern Nebraska high-school students, and perhaps high school students as well.

Mind your hyphens, dude. Not to mention how many plugs you give NORML, that noted cancer/glaucoma/digestive-patient advocacy group.

IF I'M A high-school principal -- as opposed to a high school principal (who'd be too toasted to notice, presumably) -- I'm logged onto my Facebook account, looking at the pot-group page and scanning for my students among the members. Guess whose locker is going to get an extra sniff by the drug dog?

And guess who's going to get some extra scrutiny throughout the school year?

Ditto if I'm an employer . . . or a prospective one, Or if I'm an administrator at a certain Catholic school for the developmentally disabled. Is what I'm getting at.

SEE, IF I'M going to start -- or join -- a group dedicated to the legal, medicinal use of marijuana, I'm going to make sure it's about the legal, medicinal use of marijuana. There's a legitimate argument to be had over that, I am sure.

Somehow I don't think "Smoke killer herb till my lungs collapse" would fly in such a forum.

To be fair, one frequent poster did try to make a serious argument for medicinal marijuana. I was just about to buy it until . . .

I will admit I do like to also smoke in a recreational fashion on occasion, but when my stomach is acting up it relieves some of the symptoms.
AND I LIKE to take zinc lozenges and Ex-Lax "in a recreational fashion on occasion, too." I love me that sudden urge to go and the metallic taste in my mouth, too.

Well, at least the poster was smart enough not to post under his or her real name.

Unlike the former youth-group kid from my church. My wife and I volunteered almost 14 years in youth ministry there.

Somehow, I don't think the sweet smell I smell is that of success.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Makes sense he'd go for the water pipe

What does it sound like when the clock strikes 12 and Michael Phelps' swim career turns into a pumpkin?













SEE, IT SEEMS, in this day and age, somebody's always there with a camera when you decide to do something really stupid. If you're Joe College Student, the photos usually just end up on Facebook for your parents and potential employers to see.

If you're swim sensation Michael Phelps, the photos of you making sweet love to a bong full of "cannabis" (as the Brits say) merely end up
in a Fleet Street tabloid or three.

And by the time
this s***storm blows over, The Phelps may well want to once again indulge in something just a little stronger than Ovaltine.

Extra! Extra!
Read all about the news of the stupid in the News of the World:
THIS is the astonishing picture which could destroy the career of the greatest competitor in Olympic history.

In our exclusive photo Michael Phelps, who won a record EIGHT gold medals for swimming at the Beijing games last summer, draws from a bong.

The glass pipes are generally used to smoke cannabis.

And after sporting chiefs announced laws which mean four-year bans for drug-taking, Phelps’ dreams of adding to his overall 14 gold medal tally at the 2012 games in London could already be OVER.

Those dreams seemed the last thing on his mind when he puffed from the bong during two days of partying with students last November, a quiet time in the swimming calendar when athletes would not expect to get tested for drugs.

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party.

He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.


The US Olympics Committee, who have pledged to clamp down on drug use, refused to comment, as did USA Swimming and Phelps’ coach Bob Bowman.

More surprising still was the World Anti-Doping Agency’s refusal to comment, given that they introduced the four-year ban on sport’s drug users.

Phelps, who earned £4million last year in endorsements, has resumed training for the 2012 games.

But there were fears about his commitment when, weeks after the bong incident, he began dating former stripper Caroline Pal.

Phelps is represented by marketing giant Octagon, which works with huge brands such as Mastercard and HSBC. They admitted proven cannabis use would be “a major taint” on Phelps’ character.

Spokesman Clifford Bloxham offered us an extraordinary deal not to publish our story, saying Phelps would become our columnist for three years, host events and get his sponsors to advertise with us.

In return, he asked that we kill Phelps’ bong picture. Bloxham said: “It’s seeing if something potentially very negative for Michael could turn into something very positive for the News of the World.”
SOMETHING TELLS ME Omaha just was handed a really, really strong bargaining position for getting repeat business in 2012 as the site for the Olympic swim trials. We may be the only city interested.

So, who's U.S. swimming's next great
dope hope?

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Don't Bogart that mic, my friend

That's funny, I almost could swear that "I smell just a little bit of weed in the air" every time I turn on what passes for television news anymore.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Oh, man! I am, like, sooooooo f***ed up!

Yes, we are.

Not only do the kiddos like their ganja at Colorado, some have decided that getting wasted is a freakin' grand cause. And someday, after reality intervenes, they'll be living in a van down by the river -- and sating their muchies with government cheese.


OH, YEAH . . . like, the Boulder Camera, which, like, isn't really a CAMERA, man . . . it's, like, this newspaper, you know, like, in Boulder, which, like, really isn't a big rock, dude, but is, like, this city by the Rockies, which, like, are these really big mountains, man -- this Boulder Camera, and like, dude, you know it's not really a CAMERA, right? They did this really sweet story on the big 4/20 bash, man! Check it out!
"Nine, eight, seven ..."

A crowd of about 10,000 people collectively began counting down on the University of Colorado's Norlin Quadrangle just before 4:20 p.m. Sunday.

Yet the massive puff of pot smoke that hovers over CU's Boulder campus every April 20 -- the date of an annual, internationally recognized celebration of marijuana -- began rising over the sea of heads earlier than normal this year.

"Oh forget it," one student said, aborting the countdown to 4:20 p.m. and lighting his pipe early. He closed his eyes, taking a deep, long drag.


Although it's become an annual and renowned event at CU, this year's 4/20 celebration was different in some ways than in many previous years: The crowd was so large it migrated from the long-traditional site of Farrand Field to the larger Norlin Quad; festivities kicked off earlier than normal with daytime concerts; and CU police handed out zero citations.

“At this point, none are anticipated,” said CU police Cmdr. Brad Wiesley.


Smoke-out participants — thousands of whom wore green or T-shirts promoting pot — climbed trees, played the bongos, snapped pictures and had miniature picnics.

That, of course, after they sparked the weed they had come to smoke.

CU freshman Emily Benson, 19, of Kansas City, said she thinks the decriminalization of marijuana will become a hot topic in the upcoming political season and said she felt part of something bigger than just a smoke-out on Sunday.

“We’re at the starting point of a movement,” she said. “This is a big part of the reason I applied here — for the weed atmosphere.”
YOU'LL BE HIGHLY GRATIFIED to know that Emily Benson's parents are paying somewhere between $26,000 and $35,000 a year for their little darling to attend the University of Colorado and smoke dope.

Weed not included.