3 Chords & the Truth: A cautionary tale

The following cautionary tale is brought to you by the Internet's finest music podcast, 3 Chords & the Truth.

Ready? Here you go:

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

SO SAD. So sad. It seems to me the quality of poor Eleanor's dream could have been enhanced by regular downloading of the Big Show.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

WHERE DO all the lonely people come from? Obviously from that bitter and antisocial place where 3 Chords & the Truth is not a weekly part of one's life.

That prospect is depressing enough to turn anybody into a sad hermit.

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

HELLO? FATHER? Nobody is listening to your sermons because they're booorrrrrrriiinnng! Really, if you listened to 3 Chords & the Truth, you'd be much happier, and I am sure there's scientific research somewhere pointing out that listening to good music increases the effectiveness of sermon writing 110 percent.

Get with the program, Fadda! Listen to the Big Show and quit being such a prig.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH . . . been over all that. Yadda yadda yadda.

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

WELL, that's just sadder than hell. And such a waste, too.

It could have been avoided with something as simple as a weekly dose of 3 Chords & the Truth. Proven effective in combating the boredom that causes priggishness, a leading cause of loneliness.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

UH HUH, uh huh. Yeah, yeah. Heard that, haven't we? Move along, nothing new here. Just listen to the Big Show, and all will be well.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.