The Mid-Continent formula

For Todd Storz, it all began in 1949 at a little 500-watt daytimer in Omaha, Neb.

He and his brewing-baron dad bought KOWH radio from the Omaha World-Herald, which apparently had run the struggling station as something of an afterthought to printing the day's news on dead trees.


TWO YEARS later, in December 1951, KOWH was the biggest thing in the Big O.

In 1955, Storz' second purchase, WHB in Kansas City, was well on the way to similar success. As was WTIX in New Orleans, the third station in the Mid-Continent Broadcasting Co., chain.

THESE ADS for the Storz chain, found in the 1955 Broadcasting Yearbook and the April 13, 1953 edition of Broadcasting, attribute the stations' speedy rise to "the Mid-Continent formula." Roughly speaking, that formula grew from a skeleton of "spaced repetition" of hit records, hourly newscasts and non-stop fun promotions.

What the trade ads called "the Mid-Continent formula" soon enough swept the radio world and saved a dying industry, one nearly obliterated by the rapid rise of television.

What we came to know it as was much simpler -- Top 40.

Todd Storz died in 1964, of an apparent stroke at just 39. But his radio kingdom survived him and went on for years after.

And his creation lives on in the rock 'n' roll hearts of we who are forever young.

Just like Todd.

'Are you f***ing happy? Are you f***ing happy?'

The sailor . . . was on the ship's bridge when Deepwater Horizon installation manager Jimmy Harrell, a top employee of rig owner Transocean, was speaking with someone in Houston via satellite phone. Buzbee told Mother Jones that, according to this witness account, Harrell was screaming, "Are you f***ing happy? Are you f***ng happy? The rig's on fire! I told you this was gonna happen."

Whoever was on the other end of the line was apparently trying to calm Harrell down. "I am f***ing calm," he went on, according to Buzbee. "You realize the rig is burning?"

THIS . . . is the latest from Mother Jones' indispensable coverage of the BPocalypse.

There is no part of hell hot enough for the vile, corner-cutting, avaricious sons of bitches responsible for this thing. And for federal "regulators" whose real business was the business of enabling bad behavior by business?

Their route to les feux d'infer ought to involve being keelhauled through every bit of the oil slick left by their former buddies at BP.

Genocide. Always remember this is the bottom line of what has happened here.

If what passes for civilization in these parts, in these times, is to somehow endure, it's really, really important that consequences fit the crime.

I'm shocked that people are shocked

It's a horrible thing when you're 89 years old and the brain's equivalent of a spam filter no longer works so well.

"Captcha" by a Jewish activist and his camcorder was only a matter of time for poor Helen Thomas, who is being singled out as some sort of singular anti-Semite bigot. I can't judge her heart, so I couldn't tell you.

What I can tell you is that I'm shocked that people are shocked.

LISTEN, she was born Greek Orthodox, the daughter of Lebanese immigrants by the name of Antonious, which later was changed to Thomas. As far as I know, neither the country of Lebanon nor the Greek Orthodox Church are hotbeds of support for Zionism or the state of Israel.

And, to be fair, neither is the state of Israel exactly on hugs-and-kisses terms with Lebanon or Greek Orthodox Christians. To wit, from a 2004 article in Haaretz:

A few weeks ago, a senior Greek Orthodox clergyman in Israel attended a meeting at a government office in Jerusalem's Givat Shaul quarter. When he returned to his car, an elderly man wearing a skullcap came and knocked on the window. When the clergyman let the window down, the passerby spat in his face.

(snip)

On Sunday, a fracas developed when a yeshiva student spat at the cross being carried by the Armenian Archbishop during a procession near the Holy Sepulchre in the Old City. The archbishop's 17th-century cross was broken during the brawl and he slapped the yeshiva student.

Both were questioned by police and the yeshiva student will be brought to trial. The Jerusalem District Court has meanwhile banned the student from approaching the Old City for 75 days.

But the Armenians are far from satisfied by the police action and say this sort of thing has been going on for years. Archbishop Nourhan Manougian says he expects the education minister to say something.

"When there is an attack against Jews anywhere in the world, the Israeli government is incensed, so why when our religion and pride are hurt, don't they take harsher measures?" he asks.

According to Daniel Rossing, former adviser to the Religious Affairs Ministry on Christian affairs and director of a Jerusalem center for Christian-Jewish dialogue, there has been an increase in the number of such incidents recently, "as part of a general atmosphere of lack of tolerance in the country."

Rossing says there are certain common characeristics from the point of view of time and location to the incidents. He points to the fact that there are more incidents in areas where Jews and Christians mingle, such as the Jewish and Armenian quarters of the Old City and the Jaffa Gate.

There are an increased number at certain times of year, such as during the Purim holiday."I know Christians who lock themselves indoors during the entire Purim holiday," he says.

Former adviser to the mayor on Christian affairs, Shmuel Evyatar, describes the situation as "a huge disgrace." He says most of the instigators are yeshiva students studying in the Old City who view the Christian religion with disdain.

THE OTHER THING I can tell you is that Thomas has company. Here's one bouquet thrown her way by a fellow Lebanese-American:

I was going through the news and found this article...all i can say is Helen Thomas is one brave woman! of course she made a mistake by using the word "Jew" because jews arent the issue. Zionists are the issue. i think sometimes people get confused with the difference between the 2. i love Jewish people! they went through a lot because of their religion. however zionists are another story!

So Helen Thomas, your awesome! next time use the word zionist...because there is a BIG difference. there are jews who are against the zionists nation.


ps...considering her position, i'd say that shes fed up with that country using the USA!

THE TROUBLE with this country's chattering class is it doesn't understand it's not the norm. Helen Thomas is not a singular bigot and, at any rate, people have lots of reasons for their long-nursed hatreds -- some of them good ones.

That starves journalism of a certain depth to its practice. And it even denies bigotry's victims -- in this case, Israelis -- a certain opportunity for self-examination.

Racists in the henhouse, 1941

Click on the ad for a larger version.

History books are one thing.

Stories from people who lived history are another.

But when you come face-to-face with what historians call "primary-source materials," sometimes the sheer power of it can leave you gobsmacked . . . despite having lived through a bit of ugly history yourself.

I, as you surely know, grew up in the Deep South in the 1960s and '70s. I attended legally segregated schools until 1970. I was indoctrinated with a full load of the sort of white, Southern racism that one breathed in back then pretty much as one breathed in air.

Polluted air.

Among certain sorts of folk -- common in occurrence, common in behavior -- the N-word was an all-purpose thing back then . . . noun, adjective and occasionally verb. But still, you run across bits of tangible history that show you that things once were even worse.

That even as bad as things might seem -- as delusional and demented as people might seem today -- once they were more so.

I REMEMBER coming across an old Baton Rouge High yearbook -- from 1928, I think -- as a senior in high school. We had a large archive of the things in the yearbook office. And in this one, under the category of what passed for humor at the "white school," was a cartoon of a stereotypically drawn black child, a "pickaninny" in the parlance of the day.

This African-American child was pictured in a watermelon patch, stealing the fruit of the vine next to a sign saying "No Trespassing." A gun was at his head.

The caption? "Read the signs," or some such.

In 1978, I figured it should have more appropriately read "Holy s***!"

ABOVE, WE FIND another one of those moments in this Broadcasting magazine ad for Free & Peters, Inc., radio station representatives. The firm prided itself on being able to "spot a nigger in the henhouse as far as we can see it."

"That's just one more reason why our fifteen good men are welcomed friends and trusted co-workers to most of the radio advertisers and agencies in America," the ad concluded.

With friends like those. . . .

Oh, one more thing. The date of the Broadcasting issue containing our bit of primary-source material? Dec. 8, 1941.

When wankers get portfolios

While the shores of America's Gulf coast are slowly being choked to death by a foul tide of British-owned petroleum, some in the new UK government are terribly, terribly concerned that the colonials are being mean to them.

No, really.

British Petroleum -- as a byproduct of greed, corner-cutting and blatant disregard for, well . . . everything -- killed 11 American oil workers, 140 miles and counting of the Louisiana coastline, God-only-knows how much of the Gulf's wildlife and ecosystem, a big chunk of the Dead Pelican State's economy and culture, and then the livelihoods of thousands all along the coast, and now some asshole minister in the British government is terribly, terribly concerned that Americans are saying harsh things about the Limeys?

Really?

YOU CAN'T make this crap up. It's in the Daily Mail:

Vince Cable has hit out at the "extreme and unhelpful" anti-British rhetoric from the U.S. over BP's handling of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

The Business Secretary stopped short of criticising President Barack Obama personally, and declared that Britain should not use "gunboat diplomacy".

Some MPs, however, have said Mr Obama was wrong to blame Britain for the problem.

The comments, which came yesterday as BP announced that a plan to funnel the oil away had partially worked, risked provoking a trans-Atlantic rift.

American politicians and broadcasters have laid the blame for the accident on the Deepwater Horizon rig at the feet of the UK - despite BP being a multinational company.

Mr Obama has continually referred to the company as "British Petroleum" although it changed its name to BP more than a decade ago.

Mr Cable said yesterday: "It's clear that some of the rhetoric in the U.S. is extreme and unhelpful."

He added that the fury being levelled at the company was "a reaction to big oil".

Mr Cable cautioned against the Government resorting to "gunboat diplomacy" by aggressively lobbying the White House on the oil company's behalf.

He said Mr Obama was treating BP no more harshly than he would a U.S. company such as Exxon -- the previous holder of the dubious record for the biggest oil leak in American history.

But other MPs voiced their concern about the hostile tone of the U.S.

Tory MP Andrew Rosindell said: "It is not the British government or the British people who are to blame. It's a multinational company and it is up to them to fix this."

HOW DOES ONE argue with such arrogance and condescension? One doesn't.

One just points out that the f***ing Brits are evah so quick to condemn America and "brutish" Americans over our "insane gun laws" every time an English tourist takes a slug in the gut trying to score some weed in the 'hood, yet we're supposed to be nice about it when British Petroleum rapes whole cultures, peoples and ecosystems in the former colonies.

Holy s***, the "wogs" really do "begin at Calais" . . . and on the North American shoreline, don't they? And the wogs are supposed to . . . what? Say "Thank you, Tony, may we have another dose of death"?

NO, YOU CAN'T argue with the likes of Vince Cable and some of the other swells trolling the halls of Westminster. Or is is trolls swelling the halls of Westminster?

All one can do is remind the right members of Parliament what happened to Britain on Jan. 8, 1815 -- the last time it tried to screw with south Louisiana -- and leave the right members with some friendly final words.

Piss off.

Wankers.

Before Louisiana had to deal with irony . . .

Or Cancer Alley. Or clean-air regulations.

This ad for WJBO radio in Baton Rouge was found in a 1952 edition of the Broadcasting Yearbook. It wasn't a more innocent time, necessarily, but certainly more insanely optimistic and naive.

Down on the bayou, Boudreaux is f***ed

Hey, y'all! Watch this!

If you were wondering how a British oil giant figures it will get away with this whole "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" thang without its executives having to stockpile Soap on a Rope, read on.

It's nothing shocking, or even unusual by Washington standards, but the following information from CNN Money is well worth going over now and again so it's not too crazy-making to bear when, at long last, Boudreaux gets hung out to dry next to his empty shrimp nets:

The lobbying firms working for BP are among Washington's most influential, including one headed by Ken Duberstein, a chief of staff for President Ronald Reagan, and another led by Tony Podesta, whose brother was President Bill Clinton's chief of staff.

"They are among the biggest of the big. Consistently, year in and year out, they spend millions in federal lobbying efforts," said Dave Levinthal, spokesman for the Center for Responsive Politics. "How that will change post-oil spill remains to be seen, but it would be hard to believe their numbers would do anything but go up."

During the 2008 election cycle, BP spent $531,000, through its corporate political committee and in contributions to candidates. So far this cycle, it has spent $113,000, with most of the money going to Republicans.

WASHINGTON, you see, is where ugly people go to be high-dollar hookers. (I wonder whether Sarah Palin was sharp enough to know she committed a double entendre when she famously said "Drill, baby! Drill!"?)

God bless America, land of opportunity! Unless, of course, you're Boudreaux and you used to fish the southeast Louisiana coastal waters.

In that case, podna, you're just f***ed.


P.S.: Oh, and there's this, too.

3 Chords & the Truth: A cautionary tale

The following cautionary tale is brought to you by the Internet's finest music podcast, 3 Chords & the Truth.

Ready? Here you go:

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

SO SAD. So sad. It seems to me the quality of poor Eleanor's dream could have been enhanced by regular downloading of the Big Show.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

WHERE DO all the lonely people come from? Obviously from that bitter and antisocial place where 3 Chords & the Truth is not a weekly part of one's life.

That prospect is depressing enough to turn anybody into a sad hermit.

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

HELLO? FATHER? Nobody is listening to your sermons because they're booorrrrrrriiinnng! Really, if you listened to 3 Chords & the Truth, you'd be much happier, and I am sure there's scientific research somewhere pointing out that listening to good music increases the effectiveness of sermon writing 110 percent.

Get with the program, Fadda! Listen to the Big Show and quit being such a prig.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH . . . been over all that. Yadda yadda yadda.

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

WELL, that's just sadder than hell. And such a waste, too.

It could have been avoided with something as simple as a weekly dose of 3 Chords & the Truth. Proven effective in combating the boredom that causes priggishness, a leading cause of loneliness.

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

UH HUH, uh huh. Yeah, yeah. Heard that, haven't we? Move along, nothing new here. Just listen to the Big Show, and all will be well.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Keeping up with the times

Louisiana's state flag hasn't much changed since its official adoption in 1912. And it probably hadn't changed drastically in the century before it got legal validation.

Times change, though, and so do the symbols that represent who we are as a people. And given recent developments, perhaps it's time for the first overhaul of the Pelican State's banner since I don't know when.

The above one, I think, should do the trick.

Then again, if the United States can't do its damn job of protecting its citizens from being raped by foreign oil companies -- from having their culture, economy and environment destroyed -- then maybe this second flag would be more appropriate.

British Plantation

If you'd really like to know what's going on with the BPocalypse in Louisiana, it's helpful to tap into the experiences of people like Richard Shephard.

Shephard is an aerial photographer who has been teaming up with other grassroots types to document exactly what the hell is going on with the oil spill and cleanup. Or, rather, lack of cleanup.

IN A PHOTO GALLERY from last weekend, Shephard documents the breadth and depth of the public-relations farce BP is trying to perpetuate on the American public. As much as anything, this hearkens back to the South's sad past of slavery, racism and brutality, with the scene described below perhaps giving rise to yet another more-appropriate name for the United Kingdom-based oil spiller -- British Plantation:

So here I am on Grand Isle, surveying this fiasco. I carry no press credentials, emblems or logos, nor pretend to be other than some white dude taking pictures.

Apart from a few brave souls, these BP hired clean-up workers are under strict instructions not to speak to the press (which I am not). Within seconds of shooting as many images as possible, I am intercepted by white, paramilitary-cop-wanna-bees, who snap and growl to the workers to, quote, "shut the f*** up and say nothing".

Personally, I say nothing at all and continue shooting, filming their fake-bullshit badges, Rent-A-Cop black t-shirts and quasi-Special-Forces logos. The badges, I note, say nothing official, no county name, no badge number, not even a reference to BP. They appear to be just internet-purchase costumery.

They turn their heads, these wanna-bees, mumbling into Walmart walkie-talkies and eventually storming off in embarrassment. They have no authority what-so-ever. This is a total BP sham. Several times I am told to leave the beach as ‘it is under military control', yet no military is present. When I politely press them about this ridiculous contradiction, they fumble for an answer.

When I do leave the beach, the local (and very real) cops just smile and wave. They know who I am and what I'm doing.

The lack of Port-a-potties for this huge work force is nauseatingly apparent. Next to the main parking lot is a private campground, where the huge work force has been forced to relieve themselves. To quote a local, "It smells like a goddamn hog pen."

READ the whole thing. See all Shephard's photos.

Go here and here, too.

Best radio advertisement ever

North Carolina's "Smoke 'em if you got 'em" station for 1949 doesn't list the number of lung-cancer patients in its "primary area," but I guess you can't cram every marketing statistic into a single trade ad.

On the bright side, however, all its announcers had the most wonderful deep, smoky voices. And WGTM's ultramodern studios all featured the latest in "cough button" technology -- no ifs ands or butts.

Plus, you've got to love a cigarette pack that's giving you the finger. Or at least your lungs.

Still hangin' in there

Another scene from Memorial Day on the Missouri River. Right here in the Big O.

Meet BP's new CEO

Or the federal government's new "oil-spill czar."

Soon-to-be-former American League umpire Jim Joyce is still mulling his future career plans after screwing the Detroit Tigers' Armando Galarraga out of a perfect game after 8 2/3 innings.

HIS CHOICE apparently has come down to the two jobs that perfectly match his skill set -- he can be the new Barney Fife of BP, where he can continue the royal screwing of the people of Louisiana and the Gulf coast . . . or he can become the new Gomer Pyle of the federal response, where he can perpetuate the royal screwing of the people of Louisiana and the Gulf coast.

Decisions, decisions. . . .

Don't let the sun go down on me

In about three weeks, Omaha's Rosenblatt Stadium will play host to its final College World Series, an event that has made its home there since 1950.

Next year, the CWS will move to the brand-new downtown TD Ameritrade Park, and the sun will set on South Omaha's old ballyard on the hill, which will give way to expansion of the Henry Doorly Zoo next door.

For now, though, the Memorial Day sun sets on the new stadium being built in NoDo -- Omaha speak for North Downtown.

We forgot

From the 1946 Broadcasting Yearbook.

Sigh.

June is bustin' out all over . . . Doppler radar

Welcome to June in the Midwest.

This, in particular, is how the last month of spring is being ushered in here in Omaha, by God, Nebraska.

You have your dark, ominous clouds. You have the weather radio going off. You have the local television stations dropping everything to track the storms and relate an ongoing stream of thunderstorm and tornado warnings.

And you wonder what you might have time to grab just in case you have to make a mad dash for the basement.


Yes, dogs, you are on the list of things to grab.

Domination through negligence

Here's the blueprint for world domination:

Blow up an oil well, starting a massive oil spill. Let the oil go and go, then spray gunk on it that makes things worse and makes cleanup workers sick.

Destroy the environment; destroy people's livelihoods. Make them completely dependent on the jobs you create to clean up the mess you made.

Abuse your new employees, deny them safety equipment, cover up when they fall ill, threaten them and their jobs if they speak out.

BUY OFF the government and -- voila! -- you're King of the World! Cable News Network explains all this on their website:

The restraining order requests that BP stop using dispersants without providing "appropriate personal protective equipment" to workers.

Corexit, a dispersant, is being sprayed into the Gulf to break down the oil. The safety data information sheet from the manufacturer states that people should "avoid breathing in vapor" from Corexit, and that masks should be work when Corexit is present in certain concentrations in the air.

BP has not supplied workers with masks when they work near the oil and dispersants.

"We're been carrying out very extensive air quality since early on in this exercise, to make sure that we have working safe conditions, and thus far not found situations where there are air quality concerns that would require face masks," MacEwen said.

He added that workers who want to wear masks are "free to do so" as long as they receive instructions from their supervisors on how to use them.

According to Guidry from the shrimpers' association, BP told workers they were not allowed to wear masks.

"Some of our men asked, and they were told they'd be fired if they wore masks," he said.

Tony Hayward, the chief executive officer of BP, offered another explanation for the fishermen's illness: spoiled food.

"Food poisoning is clearly a big issue," Hayward said Sunday. "It's something we've got to be very mindful of. It's one of the big issues of keeping the Army operating. You know, the Army marches on their stomachs."

An expert on foodborne illness cast doubt on Hayward's theory.

"Headaches, shortness of breath, nosebleeds -- there's nothing there that suggests foodborne illness," said Dr. Michael Osterholm, a professor at the University of Minnesota School of Public Health. "I don't know what these people have, but it sounds more like a respiratory illness."

WHAT DOES it matter, Cap? It's not like their lives have any value -- they're serfs!

Thought experiment: If a government can't fulfill its basic role, protecting the welfare of citizens, what then is it good for? And what legitimacy can it possibly have?

Dear Britain, I think you have a problem

Big protest against BP today in New Orleans. Among the sights there was this, as captured by The Times-Picayune.

Mr. Cameron, I think your UK-headquartered oil company may have presented you with a bit of a sticky wicket, public-relationswise.

Trust me, as BP continues to make the Gulf into a massive dead zone and wipe out entire cultures, you will find this display of outrage is only the "tip of the spear," so to speak.

Don't screw with a wounded Tiger

'Tigers, go in once more, go in my sons, I'll be great gloriously God damned if the sons of bitches can ever whip the Tigers!'

Dear Mr. President:

Allow me to add to what Garland Robinette just told you.

If the United States of America persists in seeing Louisiana as a state with first-class natural resources and second-class citizens -- this while a multinational oil company and the neglect of "les Americains" destroy its environment, culture and economy -- it might be useful for you to research how the LSU Tigers came to get that athletic nickname.

IN OTHER WORDS, don't push an entire people further into the kind of outrage people get when they know they're dead men walking, and they know who did it to them. Because if die they are going to do, they damn well will take their murderers along for the ride.

And trust me, a Louisiana native, on this. If that Rubicon is crossed, "les Americains" will discover quickly that Taliban fighters and Iraqi insurgents are rank amateurs.

The Vietnam War happened for a reason. As did the Bolshevik Revolution and any number of other internecine conflagrations that left a legacy of death and destruction in their wake. The results may have been all wrong -- and all tragic -- but the fuse was lit for damned good reasons.

Don't go there.

AMERICANS are Americans. Period. The minute we believe that to be no longer true, it is the United States that will be a dead country walking.

The actions of the U.S. government from this moment onward will determine whether or not the last casualty of the Deepwater Horizon catastrophe will be the legitimacy of the American political system itself.

Oh my God! BP killed Louisiana!

You bastards!

The Associated Press explains how the oil company's latest attempt to stop the BPocalypse joined the long list of epic BP fails:

The company determined the "top kill" had failed after it spent three days pumping heavy drilling mud into the crippled well 5,000 feet underwater. It's the latest in a series of failures to stop the crude that's fouling marshland and beaches, as estimates of how much oil is leaking grow more dire.

The spill is the worst in U.S. history — exceeding even the 1989 Exxon Valdez disaster — and has dumped between 18 million and 40 million gallons into the Gulf, according to government estimates.

"This scares everybody, the fact that we can't make this well stop flowing, the fact that we haven't succeeded so far," BP PLC Chief Operating Officer Doug Suttles said Saturday. "Many of the things we're trying have been done on the surface before, but have never been tried at 5,000 feet."

(snip)

Word that the top-kill had failed hit hard in fishing communities along Louisiana's coast.

"Everybody's starting to realize this summer's lost. And our whole lifestyle might be lost," said Michael Ballay, the 59-year-old manager of the Cypress Cove Marina in Venice, La., near where oil first made landfall in large quantities almost two weeks ago.

Johnny Nunez, owner of Fishing Magician Charters in Shell Beach, La., said the spill is hurting his business during what's normally the best time of year — and there's no end in sight.

"If fishing's bad for five years, I'll be 60 years old. I'll be done for," he said after watching BP's televised announcement.

The top official in coastal Plaquemines Parish said news of the top kill failure brought tears to his eyes.

"They are going to destroy south Louisiana. We are dying a slow death here," said Billy Nungesser, the parish president. "We don't have time to wait while they try solutions. Hurricane season starts on Tuesday."

OK, I KNOW the cofferdam, the siphon, the top kill and the junk shot all failed to make a dent in the geyser of doom's flow rate. But have BP engineers tried the "jerk shot"?

You know, the procedure where you put a cork in the mouth of BP CEO Tony Hayward, shoot him under pressure into the damaged wellhead, then let him expand from his own hot air until the oil flow is stopped.

The "jerk shot" may or may not work but, in this case, stopping the oil flow would just be lagniappe, right?

No nothing on the sidewalk

Dude! If you can't skateboard or roller-skate on the sidewalk in the Old Market, it's not like you can do it on the century-old brick streets!

That would be, like, fatal!

Oh.

Gotcha.

Fascists!

3 Chords & the Truth: Just being

The theme of this week's edition of 3 Chords & the Truth is being.

There.

It's as simple as that. Just being. No big message, no overriding machination to the conglomeration . . . just being.

EXISTING in the moment. Taking life -- and the Big Show -- as it comes, and enjoying the moment.

It's the Memorial Day weekend, and it seems to me that Memorial Day, and all it stands for, is as good a time as any to just be. And be content. And grateful.

But mainly just being. There.

I mean, I'm no Chance the Gardener -- well, maybe I'm kind of close to Chance the Gardener, except that nobody listens to me -- but that's what I have to say as we ease on into summer. With 3 Chords & the Truth . . . and the music.

And as we're just being there -- and here.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

A message from our sponsors. . . .

For the Lawrence Welk crowd.


For the Three Dog Night crowd.

That is all . . . as inexplicable as it is.

A shrimper explains it all oil

"We need the jobs. We need the oil, but what's the trade-off? We in south Louisiana and that -- we're the trade-off. They're trading us off for domestic oil for the rest of the country."

Michael Roberts, shrimper

Now that you've watched the Time video, read this -- Roberts' essay on TakePart.com. It is heartrending.

HERE'S a snippet:

As we headed farther south, we saw at least a dozen boats, which from a distance appeared to be shrimping. But shrimping was not what they were doing at all; instead they were towing oil booms in a desperate attempt to corral oil that was pouring into our fishing grounds. We stopped to talk to one of the fishermen towing a boom, a young fisherman from Lafitte. What he told me floored me.

“What we are seeing in the lake, the oil, is but a drop in the bucket of what is to come,” he said. He had just come out of the Gulf of Mexico and said, “It was unbelievable, and the oil runs for miles and miles and is headed for shore and into our fishing grounds."

I thought what I had already seen in the lake was bad enough for a lifetime. We talked a little while longer, gave the fisherman some protective respirators, and were soon on our way. As we left the small fleet of boats working feverishly, trying to corral the oil, I became overwhelmed with what I had seen.

I am not really emotional and consider myself a pretty tough guy. You have to be to survive as a fisherman. But as I left that scene, tears flowed down my face and I cried. Something I have not done in a long time, but would do several more times this day. I tried not to let my grandson, Scottie, see me crying. I didn’t think he would understand that I was crying for his stolen future. None of this will be the same, for decades to come. The damage is going to be immense and I do not think our lives here in south Louisiana will ever be the same. He is too young to understand. He has an intense love for our way of life here. He wants to be a fisherman and a fishing guide when he gets older. That’s all he’s ever wanted. It is what he is, it is in his soul, and it is his culture. How can I tell him that this may never come to pass now, now that everything he loves in the outdoors may soon be destroyed by this massive oil spill?

How do we tell a generation of young people in south Louisiana who live and breathe this bayou life, that the life they love so much could soon be gone? How do we tell them? All this raced through my mind and I wept.

BP's f***ing proper f***ing dog-and-pony show

Well, I think I now know more about f***king proper f***ing booming than BP does -- not to mention the media, which pretty much has fired all the f***ing proper f***ing journalists who f***ing know s*** about anything at all.

That's the point of this, er, earthily put video dramatizing a Daily Kos essay from a couple of weeks ago by someone with 30 years of oilfield experience who does know, to use the proper industry terminology, "f***ing proper f***ing booming."

So here you go. Watch and get even more outraged.

See no oil, see no evil

So, when you cast your vote, whom did you vote for, Louisiana? BP, Chevron or Exxon?

They weren't running, you say? Well, you're right. They weren't.

That's the problem. You didn't vote for a one of the sons of bitches. But when they say "frog," the sons of bitches you did vote for jump.

Newsweek recounts just how, after killing the Louisiana coast with its oily mess, BP has the local and federal officials who allegedly work for the public dancing to their tune, not ours:

As BP makes its latest attempt to plug its gushing oil well, news photographers are complaining that their efforts to document the slow-motion disaster in the Gulf of Mexico are being thwarted by local and federal officials—working with BP—who are blocking access to the sites where the effects of the spill are most visible. More than a month into the disaster, a host of anecdotal evidence is emerging from reporters, photographers, and TV crews in which BP and Coast Guard officials explicitly target members of the media, restricting and denying them access to oil-covered beaches, staging areas for clean-up efforts, and even flyovers.

Last week, a CBS TV crew was threatened with arrest when attempting to film an oil-covered beach. On Monday, Mother Jones published this firsthand account of one reporter’s repeated attempts to gain access to clean-up operations on oil-soaked beaches, and the telling response of local law enforcement. The latest instance of denied press access comes from Belle Chasse, La.-based Southern Seaplane Inc., which was scheduled to take a New Orleans Times-Picayune photographer for a flyover on Tuesday afternoon, and says it was denied permission once BP officials learned that a member of the press would be on board.

(snip)

Photographers who have traveled to the Gulf commonly say they believe that BP has exerted more control over coverage of the spill with the cooperation of the federal government and local law enforcement. “It’s a running joke among the journalists covering the story that the words ‘Coast Guard’ affixed to any vehicle, vessel, or plane should be prefixed with ‘BP,’ ” says Charlie Varley, a Louisiana-based photographer. “It would be funny if it were not so serious.”

The problem, as many members of the press see it, is that even when access is granted, it’s done so under the strict oversight of BP and Coast Guard personnel. Reporters and photographers are escorted by BP officials on BP-contracted boats and aircraft. So the company is able to determine what reporters see and when they see it. AP photographer Gerald Herbert has been covering the disaster since the Deepwater Horizon rig exploded on April 20. He says that access has been hit or miss, and that there have been instances when it’s obvious members of the press are being targeted. “There are times when the Coast Guard has been great, and others where it seems like they’re interfering with our ability to have access,” says Herbert. One of those instances occurred early last week, when Herbert accompanied local officials from Plaquemines Parish in a police boat on a trip to Breton Island, a national wildlife refuge off the barrier islands of Louisiana. With them was Jean-Michel Cousteau, son of Jacques, who wanted to study the impact of the oil below the surface of the water. Upon approaching the island, a Coast Guard boat stopped them. “The first question was, ‘Is there any press with you?’ ” says Herbert. They answered yes, and the Coast Guard said they couldn’t be there. “I had to bite my tongue. That should have no bearing.”

Local fishermen and charter boat captains are also being pressured by BP not to work with the press. Left without a source of income, most have decided to work with BP to help spread booms and ferry officials around. Their passengers used to include members of the press, but not anymore. “You could tell BP was starting to close their grip, telling the fishermen not to talk to us,” says Jared Moossy, a Dallas-based photographer who was covering the spill along the Gulf Coast earlier this month. “They would say that BP had told them not to talk to us or cooperate with us or that they’d get fired.”

OH, IT GETS better than this. Check out this from Mother Jones:

The next day, cops drive up and down Grand Isle beach explicitly telling tourists it is still open, just stay out of the water. There are pools of oil on the beach; dolphins crest just offshore. A fifty-something couple, Southern Louisianians, tell me this kind of thing happened all the time when they were kids; they swam in rubber suits when it got bad, and it was no big deal. They just hope this doesn't mean we'll stop drilling.

The blockade to Elmer's is now four cop cars strong. As we pull up, deputies start bawling us out; all media need to go to the Grand Isle community center, where a "BP Information Center" sign now hangs out front. Inside, a couple of Times-Picayune reporters circle BP representative Barbara Martin, who tells them that if they want passage to Elmer they have to get it from another BP flack, Irvin Lipp; Grand Isle beach is closed too, she adds. When we inform the Times-Pic reporters otherwise, she asks Dr. Hazlett if he's a reporter; he says, "No." She says, "Good." She doesn't ask me. We tell her that deputies were just yelling at us, and she seems truly upset. For one, she's married to a Jefferson Parish sheriff's deputy. For another, "We don't need more of a black eye than we already have."

"But it wasn't BP that was yelling at us, it was the sheriff's office," we say.

"Yeah, I know, but we have…a very strong relationship."

"What do you mean? You have a lot of sway over the sheriff's office?"

"Oh yeah."

"How much?"

"A lot."

When I tell Barbara I am a reporter, she stalks off and says she's not talking to me, then comes back and hugs me and says she was just playing. I tell her I don't understand why I can't see Elmer's Island unless I'm escorted by BP. She tells me BP's in charge because "it's BP's oil."

"But it's not BP's land."

"But BP's liable if anything happens."

"So you're saying it's a safety precaution."

"Yeah! You don't want that oil gettin' into your pores."

"But there are tourists and residents walking around in it across the street."

"The mayor decides which beaches are closed." So I call the Grand Isle police requesting a press liason, only to get routed to voicemail for Melanie with BP. I call the police back and ask why they gave me a number for BP; they blame the fire chief.

I reach the fire chief. "Why did the police give me a number for BP?" I ask.

"That's the number they gave us."

"Who?"

"BP."

When I tell Chief Aubrey Chaisson that I would like to get a comment on Barbara's intimations—and my experience so far—that BP is running the show, he says he'll meet me in a parking lot. He pulls in, rolls down the window of his maroon Crown Victoria, and tells me that I can't trust the government or big corporations. When everyone saw the oil coming in as clear as day several days before that, BP insisted it was red tide—algae. Chaisson says he's half-Indian and grew up here and just wants to protect the land. When I tell him BP says the inland side of the island is still clean, he spits, "They're f***ing liars. There's oil over there. It's already all up through the pass." The spill workers staying at my motel later tell me they've been specifically instructed by BP not to talk to any media, but they're pissed because BP tried to tell them that the crude they were swimming around in to move an oil containment boom was red tide, dishwashing-liquid runoff, or mud.

The next morning at breakfast, the word at Sarah's Restaurant is that the island will have to be shut down; the smell of oil was so strong last night one lady had to shut all her windows and turn on her AC; if her asthma keeps up like this, she'll need to go on her breathing machine tonight.

THE AMERICAN "PATRIOTS" of the tea-party movement are worried about how the "socialists" are going to kill freedom and oppress the little guy.

Me, I'm worried about the capitalists who already have.

Kids say the darnedest things

Click here for longer version.

A younger colleague said the darnedest thing to Mrs. Favog today, upon seeing the latest obituary on the wire: "Who's Art Linkletter?"

For those of us who watched Art Linkletter's House Party every day as tots and, later, whenever we weren't in school, this represents the Art Linkletter we knew.

They were expendable