Monday, September 10, 2007

The problem with TV news is it's Hap-less

Local TV news is all screwed up because there's no room anymore for real people who know things, like this legendary New Orleans sportscaster, the late Hap Glaudi.

Glaudi, who came to WWL television from newspapering -- the old New Orleans Item, to be exact -- was a Yat's Yat who hailed from deepest Noo Oiyuns, graduated from Jesuit High School and never missed mentioning old couples' 50th wedding anniversaries on the 5 o'clock edition of Eyewitness News.

I'm not being clear enough, this is plain. Let me be succinct; Hap Glaudi was Noo Oiyuns. Or N'Awlins. Or New Orleens, to Yankees who can't even pronounce the damn name right but insist on being overly familar, anyway.

I WAS BORN AND RAISED in Baton Rouge, and I wouldn't dream about being overly familiar with the Crescent City. But I did spend a lot of time out on the river at Head of Island, La., and I spent a lot of time watching Hap on Channel 4.

Just enough to know what we've lost . . . what we're still losing. And that is ourselves. We don't know who we are. We don't know where we came from. We sure as hell don't know where we're going.

A SYMPTOM OF THAT is the Land o' Suck that is local media today. It no longer reflects who we are: If you think someone like Hap Glaudi could get a job on Action Eyewitness Newswatch on Your Side today, don't give state troopers permission to search your car if you get pulled over.

Someone who absolutely is Omaha, or Toledo, or Waxahatchie, or Noo Oiyuns just ain't gonna get a snowball's chance in hell unless they can do a mighty fine job of disguising who they really are.

It's like the story my old college newspaper adviser told me about sitting on a campaign press plane, comparing notes with the New York Times writer.

"Whadda you think of this story?" asks the Times guy.

"I think you need to dull it up if it's going in the Times," replies the adviser, who back then was with The Associated Press.

"Yeah, you're right," the Times guy admits.

WELL, AT LEAST the Times was -- and is -- a good newspaper, despite the dulling-up process. In your hometown and mine, however, what you're likely to get on Action Eyewitness Newswatch on Your Side is not only dull, but probably dumb as a box of rocks, too.

Me, I'd rather have Hap.

Here's some recollections of the legendary Mr. Glaudi from those who knew him, as recounted in a Noo Oiyuns Times-Picayune article on WWL-TV's 50th anniversary last week:

"I remember an old car," (morning news anchor Sally-Ann) Roberts said. "That's what I remember of Hap. Hap was a person that didn't have to put on any pretensions. He was exactly what he appeared to be on the air. He had a very common touch. What was that car he drove?"

"It was an old car,"
(5 p.m. and 6 p.m. co-anchor Angela)
Hill said. "I don't know the name of my car."

"He drove that car, and I think that said a lot about him," Roberts said. "He didn't need to put on airs or try to keep up appearances. He was just naturally New Orleans."
IN THE FUTURE, will anybody remember there even was an Action Eyewitness Newswatch on Your Side at all, much less recall any of the blow-dried boxes of rocks biding their time in your town?

Biding their time, that is, until they can land a gig on Action Eyewitness Newswatch on Your Side in a faraway TV market that's another rung up the ladder to . . . what, exactly?


GO TO THE WWL-TV 50th anniversary section on the station's web site here.

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