Love in the ruins

Elizabeth Edwards' cancer is back, and it can't be cured. And John Edwards' presidential campaign goes on.

What?

The New York Times fills us in on today's stunning events:

John Edwards, the North Carolina Democrat, said today that his wife’s cancer had returned, but that his bid for the presidency “goes on strongly.”

“The campaign goes on, the campaign goes on strongly,” he said, with his wife, Elizabeth, at his side.

Mr. Edwards said he learned earlier this week that the cancer had reappeared in his wife’s rib cage. He said he and his wife recognized that it was no longer curable, though it could be managed with treatment.

Asked by a reporter whether recurrence of the cancer would cause him to suspend any campaign activities, such as fundraising or travel, Mr. Edwards said no. “We know from our previous experience that when this happens you have a choice, you can go cower in the corner and hide, or you can be tough and go out there and stand up for what you believe in,” he said.

“Both of us are committed to the cause and we’re committed to changing this country that we love so much and we have no intention of cowering in the corner,” Mr. Edwards said.

He said that after the news conference they would leave together for New York and Boston, and then to California on Friday.

Mrs. Edwards said she had the energy to continue the campaign. “I am absolutely ready for that,” she said.

Her doctor said at the news conference that Mrs. Edwards had metastatic, or stage four, breast cancer, meaning that it is an advanced stage that has spread beyond the breast and lymph nodes to other organs. Mr. Edwards said that because the tumor was relatively small and because there was a relatively minimal presence of cancer in other places they were optimistic.

“The bottom line is her cancer is back,” he said. “We are very optimistic about this because having been through some struggles together in the past, we know that the key is to keep your head up and keep moving and be strong.”

“We intend to do exactly that,” he said.

According to statistics from the American Cancer Society, 26.1 percent of patients with stage four cancer live five years or more. By contrast, patients whose cancer is confined to the breast and has not spread to surrounding tissue or lymph nodes have a five-year survival rate of 98 percent.Mr. Edwards said many patients have lived many years, managing their condition in a way he likened to someone with diabetes who rely on insulin treatment.

“I intend to do the same thing I have always done with Elizabeth,” Mr. Edwards said. “‘We have been married for 30 years, known each other longer than that. We will be in this every step of the way together.”

In the hours before the announcement, there had been widespread speculation that Mr. Edwards would suspend his campaign today or withdraw entirely. A few news outlets and political web sites carried what proved to be incorrect reports to that effect before the Edwardses spoke in North Carolina.

So Mr. Edwards’s announcement that he would remain in the race surprised some political insiders, and word of it was relayed quickly across Capitol Hill, with aides telegraphing the news by Blackberry to their bosses. Others crowded around televisions in the House and the Senate, watching Mrs. Edwards speak.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with Elizabeth Edwards and the whole family,” Senator Barack Obama, an Illinois Democrat who also is seeking his party’s presidential nomination, said in an interview as he walked from the Capitol. “She’s a strong woman of great character and she’s a fighter.”

Mr. Obama, whose mother died of breast cancer more than a decade ago, added: “Obviously, all of us can relate to a family member being sick. I just want to make sure that they are doing O.K. and their family is doing O.K.”

The White House spokesman, Tony Snow, himself a cancer survivor, expressed his support.

“When you have cancer, it’s very important to keep checking,” he said. “She’s being aggressive. She’s living an active life. And a positive attitude, prayers and people you love are always a very good addition to any kind of medicine you have.”

“So for Elizabeth Edwards, good going,” he said. “Our prayers are with you.”

IT'S TEMPTING, AND EASY, to second-guess Edwards' decision to soldier on in the face of a -- sooner or later -- death sentence for his wife of 30 years. But I think it would be wrong.

See, I know a little something about this subject. My wife had cancer. Fortunately, it was a highly treatable form, through surgery and radiation, and so far, so good almost nine years out from her diagnosis.

Here are the steps you go through -- or at least I, as a spouse, went through: First comes the shock. You know how people talk about others "walking into walls"? It's true.

My wife told me the news on the phone. At first, I thought she was joking. She wasn't. And after I hung up the phone, I walked right into a wall.

After the shock comes borderline panic as you start to wrestle with the unthinkable . . . or, more precisely, the unpalatable. Then come desperate prayers. Then a long sitdown with the doctor, who explains everything and offers whatever hope and optimism he or she can.

Praise God, there was reason for optimism in my wife's case.

Then friends and family rally around you as a couple. Metaphysically, it's kind of like being put in your La-Z-Boy, given a warm comforter and being plied with chicken soup and hot tea.

All the while, you're still offering up those desperate prayers. And alone, late at night, when your sick spouse is asleep and can't see you, you cry.

But the funny thing is, when the shock wears off, you quite literally start to feel the prayers of others holding you up and renewing your strength. And, as a couple in this whole mess together, you live.

You live, because what's the alternative? And you live by taking one day at a time. You can deal with today, and you'll deal with tomorrow when it becomes . . . today.

You live, and you love.

And if keeping their presidential dreams alive is how John and Elizabeth Edwards keep putting one foot in front of the other, how they take one day at a time . . . how they go about the business of living, then more power to 'em, God bless their hearts.