HOLLYWOOD (R21) -- Lindsay Lohan vaulted back into a coke spoon-length lead Tuesday over archrival Britney Spears in the Deviant Divas Death Derby, parlaying her latest arrest -- this time on DUI and felony cocaine charges -- into needed momentum to nose ahead of the Toxic singer. Unless publication of Brit's reportedly catastrophic interview with OK! Weekly prompts the Bayou Boozehound into a celebrity suicide resulting in an upcoming tragi-biopic TV miniseries, the serious jail time that La Lohan might merit could make her narrow lead insurmountable.
Hollywood celebrity observers also note Lohan also could win the DDDD competition outright by staging a spectacular suicide -- probably a long shot so long as she remains in the secure rehab facility she checked into following the new Santa Moinica felony arrest.
Experts also note that La Lohan's swift Blow-Blotto Maneuver -- which propelled the Parent Trap and Mean Girls star past Spears, whose recent slap fight with her mother failed to safeguard her DDDD lead -- carries with it the seeds of possible defeat.
"What if the rehab takes this time?" asked one celebrity watcher who requested anonymity. "What if the little skank really sobers up, faces the music and becomes the next Kirk Cameron -- or even Lisa Whelchel for Chrissakes? That could -- that would -- be catastrophic.
"In that event, Brit could waltz to the finish line to claim the Derby title," he predicted. "Even if she actually doesn't drop dead of liver disease or a drug-induced heart attack until she's 45."
The Associated Press provided late details on Lohan's winning (she hopes) Derby strategy:
Less than two weeks out of rehab, with another drunken-driving case pending, Lohan had a blood-alcohol level of between 0.12 and 0.13 percent when police found her about 1:30 a.m., Sgt. Shane Talbot said.
Lohan attorney Blair Berk said her client had relapsed and was again receiving medical care. Her appearance Tuesday on “The Tonight Show” was canceled. TMZ.com is reporting that Lohan has entered an undisclosed treatment facility.
“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease,” Berk said in a statement Tuesday.
Authorities had received a 911 call from the mother of Lohan’s former personal assistant, said Officer Alex Padilla. The assistant had just quit hours before, he said.
“The mother was afraid,” Padilla said. “She wasn’t quite sure what was going on so she called the police saying she wanted to make sure everything was going to be OK.”
The woman apparently didn’t realize it was Lohan who was behind her, Padilla said.
Police said the woman drove her black Cadillac Escalade into the parking lot of Santa Monica’s Civic Auditorium, about a block away from the Santa Monica Police Department, followed by Lohan driving a Denali sport utility vehicle. Authorities arrived and saw Lohan and the woman in “heated debate,” Padilla said. Lohan and the woman each had two passengers in their vehicles, Padilla said.
After a sobriety test, the 21-year-old movie star was booked on suspicion of two misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license and two felony charges of possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, authorities said.
During a pre-booking search, police found cocaine in one of Lohan’s pants pockets, Talbot said.
Several hours later, Lohan was released on $25,000 bail.
Padilla said he didn’t know why Lohan was trying to catch the woman, whom he didn’t name.
MEANWHILE, the Britster could come back to win the whole shooting match if the OK! shoot was as d'oh!-K as Those in the Know say it was. TMZ.com gave us the scoop first: According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career."PARANOID? FREQUENT TRIPS to the loo? Mood change with each trip?
Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her. Out of control y'all!
We've also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We're told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) -- a Chanel dress to clean it up! How trashtastic! As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup. No wonder she always looks so fantastic!
Has Linsday been sharing the wealth? Maybe she's just being generous toward a fierce rival. Or perhaps she's not taking the contest seriously enough, despite her obvious skill.
Tune in for continuing Derby updates on TMZ, PerezHilton, E!, Extra and Entertainment Tonight (check your local listings) as they become available.
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