Thursday, May 17, 2007

'I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
. . . not me'
Not now. Not ever. No way. Never.

What if Peter Pan were a dirty old man?

Well, for one thing, he'd probably be on the radio, talking about "nappy-headed hos" and how he and Captain Hook were going to have some fun (Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . she shiver me timber!) with Condi Rice.

And when some mean old grownup tried to "censor" his "free speech" -- which, by the way, is full of the F-word and glorifies aggravated rape -- he'd just "Think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air."

Or he'd have his Lost Boys throw a collective temper tantrum in protest of the fascist grownups. Whatever.


AYE, IT'S A TALE TO BE TOLD, that's for certain. But it's not J.M. Barrie,
it's the Los Angeles Times:
Satellite radio bills itself as the Wild West of the airwaves, an uncensored outpost beyond the reach of federal regulators where expletives fly with impunity and the banter can get as raunchy as at a strip club.

But the decision this week by XM Satellite Radio to suspend shock jocks Opie and Anthony for 30 days for crude sexual comments about First Lady Laura Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Queen Elizabeth II has listeners wondering whether there's a new sheriff in town.

Some XM listeners were outraged — not at the comments but at XM's reaction.

"I signed up for XM because it's uncensored. I like these guys because they are so unfiltered," said Placentia resident Paul Hebert, who canceled his $12.95 monthly XM subscription Tuesday in protest.

He wasn't alone. Hundreds of angry subscribers have flooded XM's operators with calls to cancel since the suspension was announced Tuesday. About 60 listeners smashed their XM receivers Wednesday outside the WFNY-FM studios in New York, where Gregg "Opie" Hughes and Anthony Cumia continued to air their tamer, over-the-air broadcast for CBS Radio.

"The reaction is mind-blowing," said Ryan Saghir of North Branford, Conn., who runs a blog about satellite radio called Orbitcast. "One of the main attractors to satellite radio is the unregulated content. Once you take away that … you're going to have some upset subscribers."

But industry observers said XM might have been more worried about offending federal regulators, who can block the company's proposed merger with its only rival, Sirius Satellite Radio, than staying true to its slogan, "Beyond AM. Beyond FM. XM."

Sensitivities have been heightened in Washington since the controversy over veteran shock jock Don Imus' racially offensive comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team, which led to his firing last month by CBS Radio.

"It's hard to read anything into it other than that they're catering to federal officials," said William Kidd, a media analyst with Wedbush Morgan Securities in Los Angeles.

XM spokesman Nathaniel Brown would not comment on whether the pending merger was a factor in the suspension and would not say how many people had canceled their subscriptions. XM has suspended on-air personalities before, he said, but none with as high a profile as Hughes and Cumia.


(snip)


Satellite radio followers said the suspension was unprecedented. Some XM listeners were stunned and angry when they heard about it.

Ed L. Kelley of Wagoner, Okla., said he spent six hours on the phone Tuesday night trying to cancel. He's talking to an attorney about a class-action suit, saying that because "The Opie & Anthony Show" appears on one of XM's "explicit-language" channels, the company has violated its promise to deliver uncensored content.

"These guys make me laugh and they make fun of everybody equally," Kelley said.

Debbie Wolf, co-founder of People Against Censorship, called the suspension "outrageous" and organized the demonstration outside CBS Radio's studios. Christopher Lewis of Glenmoore, Penn., quickly registered http://www.cancelxm.com , and the message boards there and on other satellite radio sites have filled up with dozens of angry comments.

"I will not support a company that has decided the one true reason they exist no longer matters," wrote one poster on Orbitcast.
IT'S THE NEW AMERICA, don't you see? The land of the Everlasting Adolescent Id. We'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up, not us.

It's my party, and I'll say (expletive deleted) if I want to!

After first reading the Los Angeles Times piece, I called up WFNY radio in New York to see whether I could get some further comment from Opie and Anthony. And whadda you know? I got them on the phone for a minute or so.

Here's a partial transcript:

O&A: Why do you have to spoil everything? We have fun, don't we? I taught you to fly and to fight. What more could there be?

R21: There is so much more.

O&A: What? What else is there?

R21: I don't know. I guess it becomes clearer when you grow up.

O&A: Well, I will not grow up. You can not make me!

WELL, I guess they have me there. I can't make them grow up. For that matter, I can't make their fans grow up, either. Nor can I make anyone who thinks Opie and Anthony's shtick is funny -- or Howard Stern's shtick is funny -- grow up.

Neither I nor anybody else can make Juvenile Nation grow up and do the right thing.

All I can do is say that -- even though perpetual adolescence might be fun for a while, even for an entire nation -- there are consequences. Ultimately, you won't like what those are.

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