I think I know how Edwin Edwards kept getting reelected

ACCORDING TO THE YouTube description: "this is what happens in iraq (sic) when there are no hummers (sic) to fix and your (sic) the only chick in the section...AND the only yankee (sic) in a Louisiana unit! ... "

Flash forward to a military commander's office for the Article 15 hearing:

"Specialist, do you have anything to say for yourself before I pass sentence on you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well."

"Well, we was just havin' some fun with that gal, and everbody was laughin' an' havin' us a high ol' time, but then somethin' happened."

"And what was that, specialist?"

"Bubba put that damn video on YouTube."

"Alright, then I order loss of rank and 30 days in the brig. I only wish I could dishonorably discharge such a sorry specimen as yourself after completion of your confinement."

"But why 'dat?"

"This Army has enough problems without retaining soldiers as bat-$#!+ STUPID as you, son. SERGEANT! Bring in the next Louisiana dumbass for his fair hearing before I look at the video again and find him guilty."

Then again, Bubba (a.k.a. wickedharleyluva) probably didn't think sexual harrassment or blatant hazing could be anything anybody would get exercised about in the least, considering the kinds of shenanigans and/or scoundrels Louisianians haven't thought twice about since, oh . . . 1699. Like oft-elected, oft-indicted Gov. Edwin Edwards, now a guest of the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

Bubba was wrong.

Apart from how bad this looks to, say, the world, there's nothing to be worried about, except that it's just this kind of idiotic horseplay that usually A) gets out of hand and B) gets somebody hurt. Like if, suddenly, there were incoming mortar rounds. Or any one of the myriad ways Iraqi insurgents have to kill Americans, not to mention their fellow Iraqis.

And there's the sexual-harassment thing.

Then, there's the niggling little detail that the female soldier is somebody's daughter. If, say, she were MY "Yankee" daughter, those Louisiana soldiers had better pray that an IED got them before I did.

And there's the sexual-harassment thing.

Of course, there's already the "These yahoos have embarrassed the Pentagon" factor. Said the Drudge Report:

A top Pentagon source expressed concern over the video late Sunday.

"Excuse me, I am not laughing," said the official, who asked not to be identified.

And there's the sexual-harassment thing.

OK, we have a "professional military" in lieu of a draft. Here's what "professional" is: You act like a professional, which means if this happened in your average "professional setting" and management found out, Boudreaux, Junior, Tank and Bubba would be looking for new jobs.

If the morons videotaped it and that video got onto YouTube, thus embarrassing the company, the suits upstairs also would make sure Boudreaux, Junior, Tank and Bubba never found any new jobs.

And, frankly, ain't this video just the positive PR needed by a state already at the top of all the bad rankings and at the bottom of all the good ones. Obviously, one of the bottom-feeding rankings is education, what with high-school graduates (Presumably in this case. I mean, in Louisiana, there's a 60-percent chance of that, right?) who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" or that "Iraq," "Hummers" and "Yankee" are proper nouns and, thus, need to be capitalized.

UPDATE (11/13, 12:09 PM): The description on the video's YouTube page has been changed. I wonder why.