The 1,000th post

On the phone Tuesday afternoon with Mama, back in Baton Rouge, as she gives me the funhouse-mirror version of my Louisiana kinfolks' financial affairs:

Mama: Did you get dat govuhmunt check?

Me: You mean the stimulus check?

Mama: Yeah. How much y'all get?

Me: Twelve hundred dollars.

Mama: Y'all get dat much?

Me: Well, we're a married couple, and married couples get $1,200.

Mama: (Unnamed cousin) didn't get nothin', cause she didn't pay no tax. She's a notary public, and dey don't pay no tax.

Me: What?

Mama: Yeah, dat what (unnamed cousin) say. She's a notary public, and dey don't have to pay no tax, so she didn't get nothin' back.

Me: That's the first time I ever heard of anything like that in my life. If that's the case, the entire country's gonna be notary publics.

Mama: Well, I don't know.

Nighty night. I'm headed off to become a notary after grabbing a few hours' shut eye.