Saturday, May 05, 2007

Justice is blind. Stars are jailed.


Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer of Los Angeles County is my new hero. Idiot socialite Paris Hilton dared him to throw the book at her . . . and he did.

All hail Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer. God save this honorable court!

MSNBC has the cellebrity scoop:

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

“I’m very sorry and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all,” she told the judge before he announced the sentence.

She was then ordered to report to a women’s jail in suburban Lynwood on the set date or face 90 days behind bars. The judge’s ruling excluded her from paying to serve time in a jail of her choice, as some are allowed.

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton’s mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton, then blurted out: “May I have your autograph?”

Paris Hilton was among a series of witnesses who took the stand during the hearing. She testified she believed her license was initially suspended for 30 days and that she was allowed to drive for work purposes during the next 90 days.

She said that when an officer who stopped her in January made her sign a document stating her license was suspended, she thought he was mistaken and did not actually look at the document.

Also called to the stand was Hilton’s spokesman, Elliot Mintz. Hilton and her attorneys characterized Mintz as a liaison between Hilton and her lawyers.

Mintz testified that to his knowledge Hilton did not drive during the 30-day period. He said he then advised her that he believed her license was no longer suspended.

The judge called Mintz’s testimony worthless and expressed disbelief at Hilton’s lawyers.

“I can’t believe that either attorney did not tell her that the suspension had been upheld,” the judge said. “She wanted to disregard everything that was said and continue to drive no matter what.”

Hilton looked forward and didn’t speak to news media as she left court. Her mother looked upset.

When a reporter asked what she thought of the judge’s decision, a visibly angry Kathy Hilton responded: “What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke.”

One of her attorneys, Howard Weitzman, said he would appeal.

“I’m shocked, I’m surprised and really disheartened in the system that I’ve worked in for close to 40 years,” Weitzman said.
A COUPLE OF QUICK COMMENTS . . . first, can His Honor throw Paris' sorry excuses for parents in jail, too? Just because?

Second, this, the world's smallest violin, is playing "My Heart Bleeds for You," attorney Weitzman.

SO FAR in Paris Hilton's 26 years, her mark on the world -- more of a skidmark, actually -- consists basically of a bad TV show, a bad record, a bad movie and being very, very bad on videotape. (Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more, say no more!)

As she cools her jets in not-so-splendid isolation, learning to love chicken -- lots and lots of chicken . . . no beef or pork served to inmates -- may God grant her a really miserable 45 days, and the major attitude adjustment she so desperately needs.

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