Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The unholy sacrifice of the gas


I can't look at this picture from the oil-fouled Louisiana coast without tears coming to my eyes.


It's a brown pelican -- the state bird -- turned almost black with oil. It will die. It is doomed.

Then again, so is Louisiana, my home state.
Maybe.

Above is a picture of not only an ecological catastrophe --
a mass killing of wildlife unlike anything since the last ice age, or the last megavolcano blew, or the last asteroid strike -- but of a murder. The greed and negligence of an oil company, BP, and the corruption and incompetence of a government, the United States, now has claimed the environment, the culture and the economy of a large part of a state that's damn well suffered enough.

The oil is in the marshes -- the wetlands. Good luck getting that out.

And everything in those oil-soaked wetlands is dead, or will be soon enough. The shrimp. The oysters. The birds. The roseau cane that holds it all together, that keeps it from becoming open Gulf water, however tenuously even before this crude apocalypse.


THAT WILL DIE, and whole masses of the Louisiana coast will join thousands of square miles of other masses of Louisiana coast over the last seven decades in becoming the former coastline of my home state. South Louisiana was fast disappearing due to coastal erosion, subsidence and sea-level rise even before now.

Now it will disappear a lot faster.

Along with it, other things will vanish forever. The oil already has wiped out the fishing industry in southeastern Louisiana, and with it the livelihoods of people who have done nothing else. As their fathers, and grandfathers, and great-grandfathers had done nothing else but harvest God's bounty that greed is killing.

That, likely, is gone for decades . . .
if not forever. The culture centered on that is gone, too. It's a dead man walking, this culture that in large part informs the identity of an entire state -- an entire people. It has been executed by a lethal, uncontrolled injection of Louisiana Sweet crude.

It is a form of genocide.
What kind? The kind that you don't have to sit on trial at The Hague after committing. The kind, unfortunately, that doesn't end with the perpetrators swinging from the end of a rope.

Accidents happen. Gross neglect that ends in an "accident" is a crime. In this case, a crime against nature and a crime against humanity.

A crime against a people who, to the federal government and the petrochemical industry, must have a gigantic
"Kick Me!" sign attached to its collective back. Sadder still -- and intellectual honesty compels its acknowledgment -- the victims are not entirely blameless; Louisiana is thoroughly complicit in putting the sign there in the first place.

But just because a woman goes "commando" in a short skirt with a skimpy top, it doesn't mean she's fair game for the raping. I guess BP's defense will be that Louisiana "asked for it," being that half the politicians are crooks and state regulations are,
shall we say, less than Scandinavian.


BUT THERE'S MORE to the body count in the wake of the Deepwater Horizon explosion and spill -- beyond the 11 souls who never made it off the doomed rig, beyond the murder of a culture and an ecosystem.

After the epic Republican political fail that was Katrina, we're in the agonizing midst of the epic Democratic political fail of this present catastrophe. Democratic strategist James Carville is absolutely right in the above video from
Good Morning America:
“His approval rating should be up seven points right now,” said Carville. “I have no idea why they didn’t seize this thing; I have no idea why the attitude is so hands-off here; it’s just unbelievable.

“I hope he seizes it now because very seldom do you get something that is really good politics and really the right thing to do. Get involved here.”

When host George Stephanopoulos asked Carville what Obama should be doing, in addition to consoling the family members of the 11 workers killed in the explosion, he rambled off a laundry list of suggestions, “He could be commandeering tankers and making BP bring in tankers to clean this up. They could be deploying people to the coast right now. He could be with the Corps of Engineers and Coast Guard with people in Plaquemines Parish doing something about these regulations (for the construction of barrier islands). These people are crying, they are begging for something down here and it just looks like he’s not involved in this.”
REPUBLICANS. DEMOCRATS. They're all the same. Neither of the parties can . . . govern. Neither of them can deal with the nation's severe and ongoing problems, and neither of them can effectively deal with national emergencies when they gain the reins of power.

Both of them are in bed with corporate America, making the country safe for fat cats and dangerous for the ordinary man.

Like Louisiana oystermen and fishermen.

In other words, no we can't "just plug the damn hole":
The government is starting to look powerless. The administration has been pushing BP to move rapidly forward with the so-called “top kill” process — essentially a high-pressure injection of mud and trash to seal off the rupture in the earth. BP says it is working on it, but the effective start date has slipped by over a week. You see, BP has to bring in all the high-tech equipment it was supposed to have stockpiled to do just such a job ... and that takes time. Five weeks so far. We’re told all will be ready to go as I write this, but we’re also told there is only a 60 percent chance it will work. If it doesn’t, BP’s next backup is the drilling of relief wells, which should be completed by August, it says.

More and more Americans are asking why the administration can’t get this under control. Yes, MMS was a mess long before Obama took office. No, the president had nothing to do with the explosion and subsequent disaster. But Americans of all stripes expect their government, and that means President Obama, to take care of problems like this. For five
[weeks] oil has been pumping into the Gulf at the rate of 20- to 70,000 barrels a day — the government can’t even give us a straight number on that. Unless the administration can show some real progress on stopping the hemorrhaging, voters are going to get a message no one in the White House wants them to consider: This is Obama’s well.
AND IT WAS George W. Bush's thoroughly inept and corrupt regulatory infrastructure before that.

Thus, the final corpse after all this is said and oiled may be that of whatever political legitimacy the U.S. government still possesses. What started out as an ecological, economic and cultural crisis likely will end as a political one as Americans -- most particularly in Louisiana -- grapple with the sad reality that the best government corporate America can buy is useless so far as carrying out its constitutionally stated purpose.

So far, the best solution the Republicans and tea partiers can come up with is to, by design, make the government even more ineffective in the jaws of the new millennium. As if trusting the sainted "private sector" has worked out so well for the Gulf Coast.

I look at the picture of the oil-coated, dying brown pelican, and I think of the Louisiana state flag. On it, a mother pelican rips open her chest -- fatally wounding herself -- to feed her young with her own blood.

It is the "holy pelican," an ancient symbol of the Eucharist -- the body and blood of Christ, in the form of bread and wine, by which Christians are fed and receive new life.

Of course, it is beyond the power of Louisiana to live up to the symbolism of its banner. All the state can do -- has done -- is allow its resources to be plundered, its people to be sickened, its environment to be spoiled, its coastline to be eroded . . . and now, its economy and culture to be ravaged just so, somewhere in suburbia, Bobby and Susie's mom can schlep them to soccer practice in a street-legal, gas-guzzling tank.

Unlike that of our Lord and our God, this is a sacrifice without a point. And given the last likely casualty of When Big Business Owns Feckless Government -- confidence in, and the legitimacy of, the American government -- Americans had better get in their gas guzzlers and drive their overprivileged asses to church and give their hearts to Jesus.

Because their asses are about to belong to reality, which, alas, cannot be cheated.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

All out for Uncle Sam

I fell into a virtual library of old Broadcasting yearbooks, and I never surfaced.

Well, OK . . . I just now surfaced.

Anyway, in the 1943 yearbook, I stumbled upon this ad for my hometown radio station, WJBO. In 1943, 'JBO was the only hometown radio station in Baton Rouge.


I NOTE that the WJBO ad touts all the war industry to be found in Red Stick -- much of it involving the petrochemical industry. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that without Baton Rouge and its refineries and chemical plants, the United States may well have lost World War II.

I likewise note with irony as I contemplate the tepid and feckless federal response to the Gulf oil spill -- and the devastatingly incompetent response to Katrina before that -- that Uncle Sam seems less than anxious to repay what he owes the people of Louisiana.

They should have known better than to rely on the kindness of relatives. It's a "root, hog or die" kind of world now, and Louisiana can't even root for all the crude oil all over everything.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Thwartin' Darwin


Chirp!

Chirp!

Chirp!

Either a sparrow has gotten into the house, or the smoke detector needs a new battery.

I'm betting on the latter.

Get chair to stand on. Remove smoke detector from ceiling. Open battery compartment. Take out old battery.


Curse lawyers for messing with natural selection and
, thus, messing with God's intelligent design of evolution some 6,000 years ago. Sorry . . . I had to alter the content of the blog to get it published in Texas.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Best. Music. Video. Ever. (Today)


A high-school classmate of mine passes along The Best Music Video Ever (Today). I'm sure there will be one just as good tomorrow, but you never know.

Garland Robinette explains it all



In 1949, in the midst of a heated debate on Burma, a Labour member of Parliament famously said of Winston Churchill, "the Right Honourable Member for Woodford thinks that the 'wogs' begin at Calais."

Wogs?

From the Wiktionary:
wog (plural wogs)

1. (British, slang, pejorative) Any dark-skinned person. Most commonly used to refer to people of Indian, North African, Mediterranean, or Middle Eastern ancestry.

2. (Australian, slang, pejorative) A person of Southern European, Mediterranean (especially Italian, Lebanese, and Greek people), or Middle Eastern ancestry or in some cases, Eastern European ancestry (c.f. wop).
AS WE SPAN 60-plus years and an ocean, coming to rest in 2010 in an enterprise I'll call America 2.0, it's pretty obvious that the "wogs" begin somewhere around Front Royal, Va.

And it doesn't get any "woggier" than my homeland, the Gret Stet of Louisiana, and the treatment meted out by the gummint and "da industry" has pretty much been commensurate with that status. Not that the wogs understood that, especially.

There is such a thing, however, as "an oil spill too far," to adapt a saying to present circumstances. And the wogs are figuring out that they're . . .
wogs.

Friday on his WWL radio program, Garland Robinette articulated this realization brilliantly to New Orleans and the world. With this knowledge now ringing in the ears of ordinary Louisianians,
pray God, there just might be hell to pay.

Don't bite the hand that . . . strangles you?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


"What I don't like from the president's administration is this sort of, 'I'll put my boot heel on the throat of BP.' I think that sounds really un-American in his criticism of business. . . .

"And I think it's part of this sort of blame-game society in the sense that it's always got to be somebody's fault instead of the fact that maybe sometimes accidents happen."


Accidents will happen? Oops.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


"What I don't like from the president's administration is this sort of, 'I'll put my boot heel on the throat of BP.' I think that sounds really un-American in his criticism of business. . . .

"And I think it's part of this sort of blame-game society in the sense that it's always got to be somebody's fault instead of the fact that maybe sometimes accidents happen."


Friday, May 21, 2010

3 Chords & the Truth: The guitar (and stuff) man


Well, yeah, David Gates is the Guitar Man, but I got a few here on 3 Chords & the Truth, too.

And if you're interested, we got some horns and pianos, too. Want a bass? A violin?

HELL, this week, we even have some accordions, too. Because diversity and unparalleled selection are the hallmarks of the Big Show. It's all good, and it's all just a click away.

Two clicks, tops.

Anything else you need to know about this week's program? I didn't think so.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.


A-hole ideologue of the universe


"What I don't like from the president's administration is this sort of, 'I'll put my boot heel on the throat of BP,'" Rand [Paul] said in an interview with ABC's "Good Morning America." ''I think that sounds really un-American in his criticism of business."

Paul appeared two days after a landslide primary victory over the Republican establishment's candidate, Trey Grayson. He had spent most of the time since his win laboring to explain remarks suggesting businesses be allowed to deny service to blacks without fear of federal interference. On Friday said he wouldn't seek to repeal civil rights legislation.

On the oil spill, Paul, a libertarian and tea party darling, said he had heard nothing from BP indicating it wouldn't pay for the spill that threatens devastating environmental damage along the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

"And I think it's part of this sort of blame-game society in the sense that it's always got to be somebody's fault instead of the fact that maybe sometimes accidents happen," Paul said.

The senate candidate referred to a Kentucky coal mine accident that killed two men, saying he had met with the families and he admired the coal miners' courage.

"We had a mining accident that was very tragic. ... Then we come in and it's always someone's fault. Maybe sometimes accidents happen," he said.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Trad media's murder machine


Dear traditional media:

Wondering where all your advertising went?
I think I just found it.

Here's the new advertising formula: Make a catchy video. Put it on
YouTube. Wait for it to go viral.

The Coca-Cola "Happiness Machine" video has attracted almost 2.3 million viewers so far. The only cost was that of producing it.

It's a new world, traditional media.
You may not be part of it.


HAT TIP: Inside Music Media.

Teach your children well


Lincoln East really is a piece of work.

Only spoiled, suburban white people could smear Omaha South as basically a bunch of "wetbacks," then make the spectacle all about themselves and how terribly enlightened they're being in, as a student said on TV today, "repairing ties with Omaha South and the Latino community."

Uh . . .
what ties?

AND NOW THIS, courtesy of the Omaha World-Herald, from the coach of Lincoln East's soccer team. Get ready for a big "OY VEH!" by the time you reach the end:
Lincoln East Coach Jeff Hoham issued a statement Thursday and sent a letter to Omaha South Coach Joe Maass regarding the “green card'' incident after the state boys soccer championship game.

Hoham apologized for fans' misbehavior in throwing homemade green cards after East defeated South Tuesday night.

And he said he was not talking about the cards when he told Maass after the incident, “Fans do silly things. . . . Make sure your kids know it wasn't intentional.”

Hoham said he was referring to East fans' running onto the field and to East players' penalties when he made the remarks, according to the statement.

“In several media reports, it would appear that I was not concerned about the actions related to the display of green cards,” Hoham said in the statement, issued by the Lincoln Public Schools.

“In reality, my comments were in reference to something totally different. After the game, I was attempting to apologize for our fans running onto the field, and for my players' penalties during the game.

“I wasn't aware at the time of the events that had transpired with the horrible racist act of fans throwing green cards on the field.

“Please know that those comments do not reflect my thoughts regarding the green card incident, as I deplore racism at any level. Prejudice based on stereotypes is always intentional, and I certainly didn't mean to state that it was unintentional.”
IT WOULD SEEM that -- as he sat at the keyboard lying through his teeth to cover his ass -- Coach forgot that reporters witnessed the postgame exchange. This is known as the public-relations equivalent of "Hey, y'all! Watch THIS!"

These things never end well.
After being approached on the field by reporters and asked about the green cards, Maass walked from South's celebration over to where Hoham was standing with his team. Maass said the two had already shaken hands after the game.

With reporters watching, Maass brought up two things with Hoham — how East fans were waving U.S. flags, and the green cards that had been thrown on the field. Maass asked Hoham what he thought about that.

Maass turned and began walking away when Hoham said fans do silly things. Hoham said, “Make sure your kids know it wasn't intentional.”

Maas looked over his shoulder and said, “It never is,” and kept walking.

In his prepared statement, Hoham wrote, “When events like this despicable act occur, it is hard to deal with them, and often painful for us to reflect. However, I believe that a greater good can come from what we all learn from this experience. We can raise our awareness of what stereotyping and discrimination does when it goes unchecked, and we can work actively together to prevent it in the future.”
ALL TOGETHER NOW . . . "Oy veh!"

See, it's all about the perps, never the victims. That's the American Way . . . at least when the perps are privileged perps.

It's hard to be from the offending school. It's painful to reflect upon the really, really bad s*** we did. We can raise our awareness.

Boo f***ing hoo. It hurts to be exposed as an a-hole. I'll alert the media.

Oh, wait. Lincoln East already did.

I LOVE how East is "taking ownership" of this, just so long as "taking ownership" doesn't really involve, you know . . . taking ownership.

As I said Wednesday, they say it takes a village to raise a child -- or a high school. And in this case, Lincoln East's village sucked.

With the "stellar" example put forth today by Coach
Hoham, the long-range forecast for the Lincoln East community calls for a close race between bullshit and chickenshit, with chickenshit winning by the width of a green card.

When nuts vote as a bloc. . . .

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


Can we agree that basing an entire political "movement" on the mere fact that you're pissed is a supremely bad idea, and is likely to end with voters doing supremely stupid things?

Exhibit A is what happened Tuesday, when tea-party Republican voters sent Ron Paul's baby libertarian boy to the general election for U.S. Senate. As we all know, Satan is a libertarian, and it was probably him who told Rand Paul
(Nut-Ky.) that there's a problem with the Civil Rights Act.

Thus, we have the spectacle of Paul telling Rachel Maddow that he hates racism, that segregation is wrong, but the federal government still has no business telling private businesses they cannot refuse, for example, to serve African-Americans.


THE THING IS, while Bubba's Lunch Counter is indeed a "private business," so is Exxon.

And if Exxon doesn't have to serve you, Exxon doesn't have to hire you. either. Neither does anybody except for -- at least one presumes in the weird, weird world of Rand Paul -- government agencies.



RAND PAUL can wrap himself in the First Amendment all he wants -- just as he can lament the all-powerful state's assault on liberty all he wants -- but despite all his protestations about how much he hates discrimination and racism, he's still in bed with people like those above.

See, the red necks and dark hearts of Poolesville, Md., in 1956 really wouldn't have cared much whether Rand Paul personally was a "nigger lover," just so long as he preserved their right to discriminate against them with impunity. Libertarian Satan would have been so proud.

When the subject is abortion, we know when a politician is trying to have it both ways -- he starts waxing eloquent about how he's personally opposed to abortion, but. . . . This is called, if one is feeling charitable, wanting to feel right without actually having to do right.

On his campaign website, Paul says he's "100% pro life." Or would that be 100-percent pro-life, except when a woman goes to a private abortion clinic, because God forbid the state infringe on the rights of private businesses?

After all, "we tolerate boorish and uncivilized behavior because that's one of the things freedom requires is that we allow people to be boorish and uncivilized. . . ."

They hang genocidal maniacs, don't they?


Well, this should be just about it for my home state, Louisiana.

You just don't get this stuff out of the marsh. And this stuff -- crude oil, courtesy of BP -- will kill the marsh, and what's in it.

And then it all will erode away, and whole stretches of coastline will sink into the Gulf of Mexico.



GOODBYE, fishing industry. Goodbye coastline. Goodbye to what's left of the last protection New Orleans and other coastal cities have from the sea -- and the hurricanes that roll in off of it.

Goodbye to a massive chunk of the Louisiana economy. Goodbye not only to people's livelihoods, but also to their way of life. What their daddies did, and their granddaddies did, and their great- and great-great-granddaddies did before that, they no longer will do.

Does the U.S. code cover murder of an economy? Cultural genocide?

Look at these photos from National Geographic. Can executives of BP, Halliburton and Transocean be rounded up and put on trial at The Hague?

I know, when pigs fly. At least in this day and age.

BUT AS WE WAIT for porkers to get airborne . . . as a matter of financial expediency for whatever cleanup is possible in this catastrophic mess, can President Obama at least invoke whatever emergency powers are necessary to immediately seize every U.S. asset of every company responsible here?

Justice demands it. And God knows we are going to need the cash.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Crackers earn a red card


Lincoln East soccer fans are patriotic.

Above, we see them showing their American pride in an
Omaha World-Herald photo taken at East's exhibition game against the Russian national team.

It's heartwarming how today's youth have not forgotten such old-fashioned values as . . .
pardon me? What?

It
wasn't an exhibition game against the Russians? Is this an old picture then, from right after 9/11?

IT WAS TAKEN Tuesday night? At the state championship match? Against Omaha South?

Well, what's the deal with the American flags, then?

What do you mean, "Same deal as with the green cards thrown on the field after Lincoln East won in overtime"?

Excuse the interruption, y'all. I've been instructed to look at today's
World-Herald. Let's you and I check it out together:
Several Lincoln East students were suspended Wednesday in connection with a postgame incident that sullied the high school’s Tuesday night boys state soccer championship match against Omaha South.

The students admitted making and distributing “green cards,” a reference to immigration status aimed at South’s largely Latino soccer team.

Also Wednesday, dozens of East students began forming a group to “plan action steps to mend bridges with the South High community,” said Dennis Mann, East’s associate principal.

“Their foremost concern is not how to protect our reputation, but how to heal hurt relationships with South,” he said.

East won the game 4-2 in overtime. But what happened afterwards marred the victory.

Dozens of green paper rectangles were tossed into the air as fans and players celebrated on the field at Creighton University’s Morrison Stadium. The “green cards” lay at midfield behind the Lincoln players and coaches as they received their trophy and medals.

As soon as the ceremony ended, several East administrators and a tearful student rushed onto the field and hurriedly scooped up the paper.

The incident offended South staff and supporters, many of whom had attended graduation ceremonies just before the game.

(snip)


Mann said that only one person, whom he would identify only as a “Lincoln East fan,” actually threw cards on the field.

“One fan threw a stack of cards,” he said.

He said video of the postgame celebration confirmed that.

When pressed whether the person was an East student, an adult or a college student, as some reports have claimed, Mann would say only, “I’m going to call him a Lincoln East fan.”

“We’re taking ownership of this,” he said.

East students made the cards and distributed them, and some other students knew about it and didn’t stop it, Mann said.

The students’ original intention, he said, was to have the crowd hold up the cards en masse during the game, the way a soccer referee would hold up a red or yellow card.

“Very inappropriate, and very hurtful,” Mann said. “But we were able to put the kibosh on that, thanks to some students who did step up (and tell administrators). But we were appalled and ashamed to see the cards come out on the field.”

He said the students who had planned the green card stunt did not know about the fan’s plan to throw them onto the field.

“The kids who have had disciplinary action taken against them are also agreeing to be part of the solution,” Mann said. “They have agreed to take actions, including writing letters of apology, to help heal the hurt that they have caused.”

Lincoln East Principal Susan Cassata said East’s athletic director sent an apology to South’s athletic director. Cassata said she planned to apologize to South Principal Cara Riggs.
HOLY CRAP. That ain't good.

South, and the whole South Omaha community, had been so excited to get to the championship game. Everyone was so proud. So happy.

I got a smile on my face reading this story in Tuesday afternoon's paper:
Everywhere record-setting soccer goalie Billy Loera goes, from the hallways at Omaha South High School to the streets of his South Omaha neighborhood, he hears the cheers.

“Teachers, staff, alumni, people I don't even know at school come up to me,” Loera said. “They tell me, ‘You're making us look real good. Thanks a lot.' ”

By qualifying for Tuesday night's Nebraska state soccer championship game against Lincoln East, Loera and his teammates have given a reason to cheer to a community that sorely needs one.

South High hasn't won a state championship in any sport since a basketball title in 1990. The Nebraska Department of Education recently designated South as one of 52 “persistently low achieving” schools in the state. And some may take a dim view of South Omaha and its growing Latino population, despite the area's lively historic business district and other assets.

That might explain why cheers, tears and text messages flew out of Creighton's Morrison Stadium and spread through Omaha to thousands of Packer supporters after South beat Creighton Prep in a semifinal Saturday night.

“People are just excited that South made it to a championship game,” said Rich Gonzalez, who played baseball, basketball and football at South in the 1980s. “It's about bringing back South High tradition, bringing back some of the state tournament wins that we used to have. But the biggest thing is it's good for the community.”

Gonzalez, a South Omaha native who is a captain on the Omaha Police Department, said people from the area “know we have a great community here; they know what the community's about.”

“When you're from South High, you have the pride,” he said. “No matter what, when they're losing, when they're down, you still follow 'em, you still care about 'em.”
IT SOUNDS LIKE these kids from South -- or South Omaha -- didn't deserve what they got from the East fans, who I assume don't throw lutefisk at the Gothenburg Swedes . . . or BMW key rings at Omaha Westside.

And then I saw this story in the paper:
It's 7:15 p.m. at the Omaha Civic Auditorium. Three blocks away at Morrison Stadium, music is blaring in preparation for the Class A state boys soccer final, scheduled to start in exactly one hour.

Soon Manny and his five senior teammates will be under the lights, competing for Omaha South in the school's first state championship game in any sport in 20 years.

But first first they must get to Morrison Stadium. First they must listen to speeches about journeys and goals and ideals.

Manny wants to enjoy the moment. He does. But he would rather beat Lincoln East.

A class officer takes the podium, recounts memories of “dreaded stairwells and delicious cafeteria food.” She thanks her parents. She reminds her classmates to notice life's beauty. She cries.

Manny Lira leans forward in his chair, fidgeting like a 8-year-old who missed recess. He's in the front row about 300 classmates are behind him and he already has soccer socks and spandex under his creased, black slacks. Time is ticking.

6:56 was “Pomp and Circumstance.”

7:10, “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

7:21, the school choir.

7:26, the principal.

7:32, an Omaha Public Schools administrator.

“Graduates, I implore you to dream,” she says.

Lira can't take it anymore. He looks at his teammate, Billy Loera, and grumbles.

Roni Huerta saw this coming.

Several weeks ago, the South athletic director contacted the Nebraska School Activities Association and introduced a potential problem. The state championship game is scheduled for 7:15 p.m. May 18. South High's graduation is scheduled for 7 p.m. May 18.

Some of these kids are the first in their family to earn a high school diploma. Some of these kids if forced to choose would choose the graduation ceremony, Huerta told the NSAA.

But really, she was only covering her bases. South had never won a state tournament soccer game, let alone a state championship game.

Then the Packers made state. Then they beat Elkhorn last week in a shootout. Then they beat their nemesis, Creighton Prep, in another shootout.

The NSAA moved the championship game back an hour, to 8:15 p.m.
FIRST IN their families to get a high-school diploma? That's, like, inspiring.

And still some Lincoln East fans are taunting these kids with American flags, are throwing faux "green cards" on the field? Just because Omaha South is 60-percent Latino?

Well, if there's some stereotyping to be done, let's try this: The Lincoln East yahoos sound like a bunch of overprivileged, white-bread, suburban rich-kid wankers to me.

In fact, taunting minority students for sole reason of their "otherness" differs from this in no significant manner at all:


LITTLE ROCK. Central High School. 1957.

I wonder whether, amid the other verbal and physical abuse, the white kids thought it would be really funny to pitch watermelon slices at the "Little Rock Nine"? After all, they were . . . black.

For some people, that's reason enough to be a boor and a bully. Just like for some at Lincoln East, any amount of bad behavior is justified by the twin towers of last refuge for rank scoundrels -- the First Amendment and "Hey! They're Mexicans!"

Administrators at Lincoln East say they have the matter in hand. They say suspensions were meted out.

East's associate principal said the incident Tuesday night "t
urned what should have been a joyful Wednesday at East into 'a day of mourning.'"

No, East. You don't get to mourn. Your kids were the perps; you get to be ashamed. Very, very ashamed. There's a difference.

You get to be ashamed because it was on your watch -- and on the watch of the parents of these unstellar members of the East "community" -- that these morons decided to "represent" for the Spartans by letting their "white trash with cash" freak flag fly. What is to be mourned is that "freak flag" happened to be the Stars and Stripes.

They say it takes a village. Well, in this instance, East, your village sucked.

THAT'S WHY I think the Lincoln East "community" has forfeited its moral right to decide on how its soccer miscreants get disciplined. By all rights, I think that "honor" should go to the Omaha South faculty and student body.

Si, se puede!

All the twits that are fit to diss?


Imagine you're the editor of a major metropolitan newspaper . . . OK, editor of the metropolitanest of major metropolitan newspapers.

Imagine that you need to announce that your managing editor is going to step away from that job for six months to run the paper's online operations. Imagine likewise that you also are announcing that three editors will take turns filling in for her.

AND WHILE you're at it, can you imagine any good reason to throw the following lines into the staff memo? The New York Times' Bill Keller could:
No doubt this rotation will be widely analyzed, interpreted and speculated about. (I look forward to hearing and reading a lot of entertaining nonsense.)

NOTHING SAYS
"I think you're all a bunch of petty, nonsensical morons" like immediately assuming the worst of your staff -- and everyone else -- then giving the impression you're explaining the process only because you know people will be coming up with all that "entertaining nonsense," not that that will stop the idiots.

And if the boss has so little confidence in his charges at The New York Times -- America's "newspaper of record," why should we? For what nonsensical reason, in that case, should we bother reading a publication put together by such a collection of dolts and gossips?

For what insane reason would an editor feel the need to say something like that in a staff memo, and say it so . . . gratuitously?

NO DOUBT, this memo
will be widely analyzed, interpreted and speculated about. One only can hope (for the sake of the Times) that the easiest conclusion to draw -- that its author is a smug jerk who isn't exactly building an institutional culture conducive to success -- is just a lot of entertaining nonsense.

Faster than lightning. Really.


Dear John Cameron Swayze,

Eat your heart out.

And then there's this. . . .


I wonder if this thing will do the Internets?

What's an Internet?

It's geek porn, I tells ya! Geek porn!


That's it . . . I'm done. As in "done in."

Gone. Lost. Incommunicado.

Just bring me some beer and some Carnation Instant Breakfast, then call EMS to hook me up a catheter. I have been reliably informed of the existence of a website that's the online home of almost every Radio Shack catalog published from 1939 to 2005.

And that's just part of it.

It seems to me that all I need right now is Doc Brown's DeLorean and some period-appropriate cash, and I'll be in bidness. Oh, the places we'll go!

The gadgets we'll buy!


I THINK I'll get me a classic Rek-O-Kut turntable from 1961. And a vintage Harman-Kardon stereophonic receiver.

Maybe an H.H. Scott FM tuner, too!

Oh! And a Tandberg reel-to-reel tape deck! Tapes! I need tapes!

AND WHEN I'm done shopping in the year of my birth, maybe I'll pop over to Radio Shack somewhere during my junior year of high school . . . let's make it Christmastime 1977. I always wanted a DX-160 communications receiver.

And while I'm at it, maybe I'll pick up this, too:


"What is it?" you ask?

It's an iPod.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The 'Feel-Like-I'm-Fixing-to-Politically-Die Rag'

NOTE: Contains one F-bomb.

And it's one, two, three, what are we enlisting in the Marine Reserves to avoid fighting for?

Don't ask Richard Blumenthal, he don't give a damn, the Connecticut attorney general is too busy lying about serving in Vietnam.


SO SAYS The New York Times:
At a ceremony honoring veterans and senior citizens who sent presents to soldiers overseas, Attorney General Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut rose and spoke of an earlier time in his life.

“We have learned something important since the days that I served in Vietnam,” Mr. Blumenthal said to the group gathered in Norwalk in March 2008. “And you exemplify it. Whatever we think about the war, whatever we call it — Afghanistan or Iraq — we owe our military men and women unconditional support.”

There was one problem: Mr. Blumenthal, a Democrat now running for the United States Senate, never served in Vietnam. He obtained at least five military deferments from 1965 to 1970 and took repeated steps that enabled him to avoid going to war, according to records.

The deferments allowed Mr. Blumenthal to complete his studies at Harvard; pursue a graduate fellowship in England; serve as a special assistant to The Washington Post’s publisher, Katharine Graham; and ultimately take a job in the Nixon White House.

In 1970, with his last deferment in jeopardy, he landed a coveted spot in the Marine Reserve, which virtually guaranteed that he would not be sent to Vietnam. He joined a unit in Washington that conducted drills and other exercises and focused on local projects, like fixing a campground and organizing a Toys for Tots drive.

Many politicians have faced questions over their decisions during the Vietnam War, and Mr. Blumenthal, who is seeking the seat being vacated by Senator Christopher J. Dodd, is not alone in staying out of the war.

But what is striking about Mr. Blumenthal’s record is the contrast between the many steps he took that allowed him to avoid Vietnam, and the misleading way he often speaks about that period of his life now, especially when he is speaking at veterans’ ceremonies or other patriotic events.

Sometimes his remarks have been plainly untrue, as in his speech to the group in Norwalk. At other times, he has used more ambiguous language, but the impression left on audiences can be similar.

In an interview on Monday, the attorney general said that he had misspoken about his service during the Norwalk event and might have misspoken on other occasions. “My intention has always been to be completely clear and accurate and straightforward, out of respect to the veterans who served in Vietnam,” he said.

But an examination of his remarks at the ceremonies shows that he does not volunteer that his service never took him overseas. And he describes the hostile reaction directed at veterans coming back from Vietnam, intimating that he was among them.

In 2003, he addressed a rally in Bridgeport, where about 100 military families gathered to express support for American troops overseas. “When we returned, we saw nothing like this,” Mr. Blumenthal said. “Let us do better by this generation of men and women.”

At a 2008 ceremony in front of the Veterans War Memorial Building in Shelton, he praised the audience for paying tribute to troops fighting abroad, noting that America had not always done so.

“I served during the Vietnam era,” he said. “I remember the taunts, the insults, sometimes even physical abuse.”

(snip)

In an interview, Jean Risley, the chairwoman of the Connecticut Vietnam Veterans Memorial Inc., recalled listening to an emotional Mr. Blumenthal offering remarks at the dedication of the memorial. She remembered him describing the indignities that he and other veterans faced when they returned from Vietnam.

“It was a sad moment,” she recalled. “He said, ‘When we came back, we were spat on; we couldn’t wear our uniforms.’ It looked like he was sad to me when he said it.”

Ms. Risley later telephoned the reporter to say she had checked into Mr. Blumenthal’s military background and learned that he had not, in fact, served in Vietnam.
THE TIMES has broken the story. Politico and The Washington Post will spew thousands of words about what this means for the Democrats' prospects in the Senate come November, and not so many about the cultural, social and moral dimensions of the story . . . not to mention how this very public man has gotten away with such a sick charade for decades.

As for me, I just want to know whether running for political office has become a prime indicator of narcissistic personality disorder and various other mental illnesses.

I love the java jive, and it loves me


Barring a descent into heavy alcohol consumption, there's nothing like a fresh pot of good coffee, made the way God intended it, to take the edge off a crappy day.


Today has been one of those crappy days, and this is my means of self-medication. If this is a total fail -- I don't think it will be, but you never know -- perhaps I will resort to calling Dr. Jack Daniels.

But I don't think that will be necessary.

I just have some simple advice to the world. Or at least some advice for having a happy middle age.

First, never allow your parents to get old. Second, don't let them get weird.

If one or both go weird on you, you're just screwed. In that case, I'd recommend stocking up on good coffee . . . and good bourbon.

Just in case.

Monday morning comin' down


It's 2:30 a.m. on a Monday. This is what I'm doing.

God, I'm a geek.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

LipDubbapalooza


When high schools meet lipdub, it's kind of like giving Junior the keys to the Plymouth. You fear the worst and pray for your car -- and, by the way, Junior -- to come back in one piece.

And with a full tank of gas. (OK, sometimes prayer is a long shot.)

Jaded old fart that you are, you are surprised when the old heap comes back not only in one piece, but topped off and detailed, too. Applying the analogy back to the world of lipdub, that's what Shorewood High School did in Washington state
(above).

And you find yourself thinking, fossil that you are,
"How did they do that?" Then Junior gives you that "This moron is the BOSS OF ME???" look, and explains the patently obvious to the Old Man.

IT GOES something like this:


AND THEN Junior's slacker friend drops by, and you're thinking, "Holy crap . . . here we go," and you discover, to your amazement, that he's been working hard on a project for a principal who's stationed in Iraq with his National Guard unit . . .


. . . AND THEN, a tribute for another one who's retiring at the end of the year:


DISORIENTED, you struggle to understand when the kids tell you about other youth just like them in Florida.

"What the f. . . ?" you start to ask them, then you remember what your wife told you about cussing in front of Junior, and how you're a bad example, and to knock it the . . . hell . . . off.

Then the kids show you this:


"WELL . . . HECKFIRE," you think. "Maybe I've been all wrong about the next generation. Maybe they're smart enough, they're good enough and -- doggone it -- I should like them."

Then the phone rings.

It's Junior's homeroom teacher.


SUDDENLY, your equilibrium restored, you feel much better. And you yell at Junior about that little scratch you just found on the rear-left quarter panel of the Plymouth.

Damn kids.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Oh, crap.


Steve Jobs thought he had a Gizmodo problem.

What's he gonna do about this Vietnamese website that's come up with an iPhone 4G and Apple's newest MacBook? Insist that American authorities rekindle the Vietnam War?

Come to think of it . . .
oh, s***.

AS YOU consider the prospects and tremble, here's the latest from Mashable:
A Vietnamese website — the same one that got hold of another Apple 4G iPhone last week — has posted a video and details about the new entry-level MacBook 7.1.

The machine’s CPU was upgraded to a 2.4GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor, increased from 2.26GHz in the previous generation, and graphics were given a shot in the arm with a NVIDIA GeForce 320M GPU. These updates will be the first for the MacBook since October 2009, when the notebook got a longer battery life and overall design reworking.

Apple’s recent round of laptop refreshes has thus far included upgrades to the MacBook Pro, including a standard 4GB of RAM and a choice between Intel’s i5 and i7 processors on larger models. Similar CPU and graphics changes appear to be trickling down to standard MacBooks, as well. Upgrades to the MacBook Air were also rumored but have yet to surface as fact.
AND I'LL BET that for a Vietnamese website, getting a scoop on what Apple's doing next is as easy as driving to the southern Chinese factories that make all this stuff and slipping a little somethin' somethin' to somebody who's more than willing to make a premature sale.

I guess, while Steve is at it, he could have American authorities declare war on China, too. But in the event we didn't get our clocks cleaned in trying to make the world safe for Silicon Valley capitalists, where then would Apple make its premium-priced products?

In American factories? Paying American workers living wages?

That would sooooooo screw with Apple's profit margins and "shareholder value," don't you know?

I guess it's better to just keep kicking around the little guys, then.

Truth in town naming


The driver lived.

This fact, of course, casts doubt on Darwin's entire theory of evolution and "natural selection." I predict this will be another straw at which creationists grasp.