Dying well . . . and helping others

Long ago and far away, I was a coworker of Laurie Smith Anderson's on -- may God rest it -- the Baton Rouge (La.) State-Times, the city's defunct afternoon newspaper.

And now may God rest her, granting her eternal life where cancer exists no more.

Laurie died Wednesday morning -- it was colon cancer -- but she died well, her husband and children nearby. She died well because she spent her last months and days helping people by doing what she did best -- writing.

It takes guts to face death and find peace as it draws ever nearer. It takes more guts to describe what that is like.

Those final columns are here. Read them.

Here's a sample, from the second to last piece she ever wrote:

My favorite scene from “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” describes the boys sneaking in to watch their own funeral. It’s probably such a memorable part of Mark Twain’s classic tale because of a universal desire to peek in on the day when people gather to say nice things about us.

Long ago I had decided that I wished to be cremated with my ashes scattered in a place special to my family and me. I also decided that I wanted to have a memorial service rather than a traditional funeral.

My desire for a memorial service may have originated at one that my husband and I attended for Dr. L.E. Stringer in Greensburg. It was an uplifting ceremony, featuring a few of his favorite songs performed by a barbershop quartet. Friends told stories — some quite humorous — about his life.

Several months ago, when LSU palynologist John Wrenn died of cancer, friends lightened his service with anecdotes from his life, including tales of his adventurous scientific expeditions to Antarctica and other remote corners of the world.

In a display photo, Wrenn and three colleagues stuck out green, yellow, blue and red tongues dyed from Popsicles.

His daughter read a poem her father loved. A neighbor played the bagpipes. And, at the ceremony’s conclusion, a Marine played taps. It was a warm, meaningful service.

I particularly liked the idea my friends Elizabeth and Ted Fischer employed when their 23-year-old daughter Kristen died six weeks ago. They asked family and friends to wear bright clothes so that when Kristen looked down on the service, she would see a spring garden. If winter puts us in the mindset of death, then spring is a perfectly fitting time to remind us of life’s grand rebirth, with glorious pinks, yellows and lavenders pushing up from under the brown leaves.

For a long time I’ve known that when I die I wanted something celebratory rather than sad for my sendoff.

Still, when it became apparent that my death from cancer was drawing near, my husband at first felt reluctant to ask me about specifics for the service.

Mary Maloney, my hospice nurse, tells me that it’s not uncommon for families, confronted with a terminal illness, to treat the subject and related planning as taboo.

“Death is like a pink elephant sitting in the middle of the room” that nobody acknowledges is present, she said.

When my husband finally posed questions to me about what I would like done at my memorial service, it opened a new line of communication for the two of us and eventually for the rest of the family. We needed to talk as a group about my impending death. This provided a vehicle.

When family chitchat in my bedroom turned to the subject one Sunday morning, family members made suggestions, some of which I embraced. I explained that I wanted my service to be a celebration of my life, not the mourning of my death.

Reps tell Bush cold, hard facts of life . . . too late, but at least they told him

'How can our daughters and

sons spill their blood while the

Iraqi parliament goes on vacation?'

From the New York Times:

WASHINGTON, May 9 — Moderate Republicans gave President Bush a blunt warning on his Iraq policy at a private White House meeting this week, telling the president that conditions needed to improve markedly by fall or more Republicans would desert him on the war.

The White House session demonstrated the grave unease many Republicans are feeling about the war, even as they continue to stand with the president against Democratic efforts to force a withdrawal of forces through a spending measure that has been a flash point for weeks.

Participants in the Tuesday meeting between Mr. Bush, senior administration officials and 11 members of a moderate bloc of House Republicans said the lawmakers were unusually candid with the president, telling him that public support for the war was crumbling in their swing districts.

One told Mr. Bush that voters back home favored a withdrawal even if it meant the war was judged a loss. Representative Tom Davis told Mr. Bush that the president’s approval rating was at 5 percent in one section of his northern Virginia district.

“It was a tough meeting in terms of people being as frank as they possibly could about their districts and their feelings about where the American people are on the war,” said Representative Ray LaHood of Illinois, who took part in the session, which lasted more than an hour in the residential section of the White House. “It was a no-holds-barred meeting.”

Several of the Republican moderates who visited the White House have already come under political attack at home for their support of Mr. Bush and survived serious Democratic challenges in November.

Representative Charles W. Dent of Pennsylvania, a co-chairman of the Tuesday Group, an alliance of about 30 moderate Republican lawmakers, helped arrange the meeting. He said lawmakers wanted to convey the frustration and impatience with the war they are hearing from voters. “We had a very frank conversation about the situation in Iraq,” he said. Even so, the Republicans who attended the White House session indicated that they would maintain solidarity with Mr. Bush for now by opposing the latest Democratic proposal for two-stage financing of war, which is scheduled for a vote on Thursday in the House.

Lawmakers said Mr. Bush made no commitments, but seemed grateful for their support and said a precipitous withdrawal from Iraq could cause the sort of chaos that occurred in Southeast Asia after Americans left Vietnam. The lawmakers said that Mr. Bush and others at the meeting — including Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, the political adviser Karl Rove and National Security Adviser Stephen J. Hadley — appeared to appreciate the political reality facing Republicans who will be on the ballot next year.

“It was very healthy,” said Representative John A. Boehner of Ohio, the House Republican leader, who attended but let the moderates do most of the talking.

“I walked away from it feeling I got a chance to make my points,” Mr. Davis said.

VIA DRUDGE, Tim Russert of NBC News fleshed out some other details Wednesday on the Nightly News:

It was, in the words of one of the participants, the most unvarnished conversation they've ever had with the president.

Another member has said he has met with three presidents and never been so candid. They told the president, and one said, quote, "My district is prepared for defeat. We need candor, we need honesty, Mr. President."

The president responded, "I don't want to pass this off to another president. I don't want to pass this off, particularly, to a democratic president," underscoring he understood how serious the situation was.

Brian, the Republican congressmen went on to say, "The word about the war and its progress cannot come from the White House or even you, Mr. President. There's no longer any credibility. It has to come from General Petraeus.

The meeting lasted an hour and fifteen minutes, and was, in the words of one, " remarkable for the bluntness, and no holds barred honesty and the message delivered by all these Republican congressmen.

BRIAN WILLIAMS: And Tim...how did the president react and how did this then affect the instructions for VP Cheney heading off to Iraq?

RUSSERT: One congressman said, "How can our daughters and sons spill their blood while the Iraqi parliament goes on vacation? The president responded, "The Vice President is over there to tell them, 'Do not go on vacation.'"

YOU CAN WATCH Russert's Nightly News report at MSNBC.com.

Sola fides means works-ing your butt off

The Center of the Storm -- that is, former Evangelical Theological Society head Francis Beckwith, who brewed up a Category 5 cyclonic hell in the Gulf of Luther by returning to his Catholic roots -- has given an interview to Christianity Today.

Here's one bit, in which Beckwith discusses justification: Faith alone? Faith and works? Are we just talking past one another in an never-ending Reformation-Counter Reformation pissing match?

I still consider myself an evangelical, but no longer a Protestant. I do think I have a better understanding of what sometimes the Catholic Church is trying to convey. Protestants often misunderstand. The issue of justification was key for me. The Catholic Church frames the Christian life as one in which you must exercise virtue—not because virtue saves you, but because that's the way God's grace gets manifested. As an evangelical, even when I talked about sanctification and wanted to practice it, it seemed as if I didn't have a good enough incentive to do so. Now there's a kind of theological framework, and it doesn't say my salvation depends on me, but it says my virtue counts for something. It's important to allow the grace of God to be exercised through your actions. The evangelical emphasis on the moral life forms my Catholic practice with an added incentive. That was liberating to me.

Some of the people who have been critical say, "You've gone into the oppressive works system of Catholicism." That's not the way I look at it at all. I look at it as a chance to do good. It doesn't matter for my salvation, but it matters for the sort of person I can become. Unfortunately, the view of justification is sometimes presented clumsily by some Catholic laypeople.

BECKWITH IS RIGHT on this. Boy, that's a presumptuous and arrogant snippet of prose on my part, ain't it? Idiot non-theological layman gives renowned theologian his imprimatur. I'll bet Professor Beckwith, if he reads this, will laugh for days.

But, as a Catholic layman, let me clumsily present the Catholic view of justification, because I just might be dumb enough to present it in a manner even James White can understand.

Since the Church is known, among other things, as the Bride of Christ, allow me to explore faith and saving grace in marital terms.

NOW, MOST MEN who love their wives at least once in a blue moon will tell the missus "I love you." Let's liken that to a declaration of faith, shall we?

Is that sufficient for a lasting marriage? Does merely saying you love your wife really mean you love your wife, at least in any proper understanding of the marital bond?

Do you really love your wife if you swear it up and down -- and yell it from the rooftop for good measure -- but that's the only damn thing you ever do for her? Do you really love your wife if you say so, but never visit her in the hospital if she gets really sick?

Do you really love your wife if she's starving to death, yet you refuse to give her even one Snickers bar out of your "rainy day" stash?

Do you really love your wife if you take the car and head out for the ballgame, leaving her to walk three miles to work later that morning?

Do you really love your wife if you delight in kicking her dog and stealing her widowed mother blind?

Do you really love your wife if you say "I love you" twice a day but pay her no heed and do her no good the other 23 hours and 59 minutes?

THE BIBLE SAYS we are all make in the likeness of God. Can we believe in God and love God if we ignore Him in His creation like we might ignore that hypothetical spouse?

And Jesus says this in Matthew 25:31-46:

31
"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne,
32
and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
33
He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34
Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
35
For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me,
36
naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.'
37
Then the righteous will answer him and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
38
When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
39
When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?'
40
And the king will say to them in reply, 'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41
Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you accursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
42
For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
43
a stranger and you gave me no welcome, naked and you gave me no clothing, ill and in prison, and you did not care for me.'
44
Then they will answer and say, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or ill or in prison, and not minister to your needs?'
45
He will answer them, 'Amen, I say to you, what you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.'
46
And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

SEE, FOR US CATHOLICS, there is no "faith vs. works" or "faith or works" -- or even "faith and works" -- dichotomy, just like there is no "say you love" vs. "love" (as a verb) between a husband and wife. Or sister and brother. Or parent and child.

In an interpersonal relationship, saying you love someone is meaningless unless the subject becomes a verb.

In the Christian life, saying you have faith is meaningless unless you live as if you had faith . . . as if you had love, both for God and for those whom God so loved "that He gave His only begotten Son."

Saving grace is not cheap grace. Grace is part of a dialog -- a relationship -- between us and the Almighty. Grace requires a right response.

James said it clearly, and believing Catholics hold to what he teaches -- in scripture -- as ardently as the most ardent Fundamentalist:

James
Chapter 2

1
My brothers, show no partiality as you adhere to the faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ.
2
For if a man with gold rings on his fingers and in fine clothes comes into your assembly, and a poor person in shabby clothes also comes in,
3
and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say, "Sit here, please," while you say to the poor one, "Stand there," or "Sit at my feet,"
4
have you not made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil designs?
5
Listen, my beloved brothers. Did not God choose those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom that he promised to those who love him?
6
But you dishonored the poor person. Are not the rich oppressing you? And do they themselves not haul you off to court?
7
Is it not they who blaspheme the noble name that was invoked over you?
8
However, if you fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well.
9
But if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.
10
For whoever keeps the whole law, but falls short in one particular, has become guilty in respect to all of it.
11
For he who said, "You shall not commit adultery," also said, "You shall not kill." Even if you do not commit adultery but kill, you have become a transgressor of the law.
12
So speak and so act as people who will be judged by the law of freedom.
13
For the judgment is merciless to one who has not shown mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.
14
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?
15
If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day,
16
and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well," but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it?
17
So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18
Indeed someone might say, "You have faith and I have works." Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works.
19
You believe that God is one. You do well. Even the demons believe that and tremble.
20
Do you want proof, you ignoramus, that faith without works is useless?
21
Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered his son Isaac upon the altar?
22
You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by the works.
23
Thus the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called "the friend of God."
24
See how a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.
25
And in the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she welcomed the messengers and sent them out by a different route?
26
For just as a body without a spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.

Amen.

More in common than not, methinks

Michael Spencer, a.k.a. The Internet Monk, addresses the outbreak of Evangelicals Behaving Badly after evangelical scholar Francis Beckwith, who was raised Catholic, swam back across the Tiber.

He lays into the general lack of Christian charity toward Beckwith, a professor at Baylor University -- good luck to him . . . he'll need it -- who just resigned as president of the Evangelical Theological Society. Likewise, Spencer (who's the campus minister at Oneida Baptist Institute in Kentucky) takes on anti-Catholic bigotry that, like a Timex, "takes a licking but keeps on ticking."

Here's a prime example of such, as blogged by James White, director of Alpha & Omega Ministries:

Let's ponder the hypothetical situation of a President of the Evangelical Theological Society converting to Roman Catholicism in the midst of his tenure. In 1998 I attended the national meeting of the ETS in Orlando, Florida. At one of the sessions some of the founding members were being asked questions about why they did certain things, why they wrote the statement of faith as they did, etc. A woman asked a question of the panel. "Why did you write 'the Bible alone' in the statement of faith?" The ETS statement of faith is very, very short. It reads:

"The Bible alone, and the Bible in its entirety, is the Word of God written and is therefore inerrant in the autographs. God is a Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each an uncreated person, one in essence, equal in power and glory."

Roger Nicole rose, slowly, and made his way to the podium. He looked out at the lady and said, "Because we didn't want any Roman Catholics in the group." He then turned around and went back to his seat. While most sat in stunned silence, I and a friend with me broke into wild applause. The brevity of the response, and Nicole's dead-pan look, was classic. Most looked at us like we were nuts, but we appreciated what he said. Here, one of the founding members made it clear that the ETS was founded as a Protestant organization and that primary to their own self-understanding was a belief in sola scriptura.

YOU KNOW, if sola scriptura were a legitimately big sticking point regarding ETS' aims, there are a lot of ways Nicole could have framed his response to the question. And any reframing Nicole might have chosen would have been more precise, because Roman Catholics aren't the only Christians running afoul of the sola scriptura standard.

But nooooooooooo . . . Nicole said "because we didn't want any Roman Catholics in the group" because they didn't want any Roman Catholics in the group. Period.

Substitute "niggers" for "Roman Catholics" and it doesn't get any more offensive. Well, at least he didn't use the words "popery" or "papists," nor did he call us "mackerel snappers." As far as I know.

ANYWAY, Spencer continues over on The Internet Monk:

I admit that I struggle in the area of a charitable and Christ-honoring attitude and I need the prayers of other Christians. Much of my own upbringing was saturated in hateful, ignorant anti-Catholicism and that sinful residue still remains in my own personality. I anticipate future conversions to the RCC among those I love. I need to be able to embrace what is a shared experienced of Christ, but I also must know how to differ without, frankly, being a jackass (something so common among some segments of the reformed and fundamentalist world it’s embarrassing.). And I can assure you that despite my love of Merton and Kreeft, my occasional attendance at Roman Catholic services, etc., a good attitude is a challenge for me. Those deep prejudices plug directly into my emotions and control far too much of what I say and feel. I need the forgiveness of God and of other people.

AND THERE LIES a giant area in common between me, Catholic-convert layman and general smartass, and Michael Spencer, Southern Baptist preacher and campus minister.

I was raised by an ex-Catholic mother and an anti-Catholic father (though, to be fair, my old man was anti-everything . . . not just Catholic). I have had to wage a fight to the death with a bigoted upbringing in the Deep South -- struggling to rise above it and stay there, despite all the residual scars and conditioning.

As well, a good attitude is a challenge for me as I attend Mass every week.

I weary of the constant politically-correct "God-God-Goddity-God" in the hymnody (for lack of a better description, like "crappy '70s show tunes"). I long for the soothing sound of personal pronouns, as applied to the Almighty.

In a Church with 2,000 years of theology, tradition and culture, I ache for some liturgical or practical sign that such once was . . . still is. Dang it, Poprah just ain't cutting it for me.

And . . . I LOVE THIS WEBSITE.

Finally, like Michael Spencer, all the above plugs "directly into my emotions and control far too much of what I say and feel." And I, too, need the forgiveness of God and others.

Hell, maybe the Mighty Favog and the Internet Monk ought to scandalize the Christian world by forming a common front against Marty Haugen and Joel Osteen. Of course, this would be accomplished over beer and polish-sausage dogs at an Omaha Royals game -- preferably before they tear down Rosenblatt Stadium in favor of a new "family-friendly" ballpark downtown.

Unshackling my inner Shaidle

One of the more entertaining spectacles on the "Internets" is when Canadian blogger Kathy Shaidle at Relapsed Catholic (Happy birthday, Kathy! You're still a kid!) publicly dismantles those who seek to shut her up.

It's a beautiful thing to behold.

NOW, ONE WAY to get your comments posted to this moderated blog is to write something both so stupid and so arrogant that it allows me to access my inner Shaidle, give it a pop of Early Times, then exhort it to "Run! Run like the wind!"

I want to thank some friends of alleged pothead Richard Ryan Wargo of Louisiana State University, who allegedly wanted to kill Hillary Clinton in a spectacular manner during a weekend appearance in Baton Rouge. It would seem they are waging an online campaign to defend him against the likes of folks like me, who A) reckon the media have gotten the story at least mostly right, and B) think that dope smoking is bad and threatening murder is way worse.

Haven't changed my mind, alas. And -- obviously -- I'm not shutting up.

UNFORTUNATELY for Wargo's friends, all they've done is unleash my inner Shaidle. And my inner Shaidle likes to have fun.

So, what kind of folks does an alleged head who allegedly wants to be the next Lee Harvey Oswald hang out with? Inquiring minds want to know, and I aim to let them know:

Anonymous said...
whoever wrote this sucks in a real big way. i mean seriously... gay. you're a moron dude, even without the drugs.

9:21 PM


The Mighty Favog said...
A well reasoned response by "anonymous." It's articulate and lays out facts and contradictory evidence for an immaculately crafted rebuttal of the original post.

P.S.: Anybody notice that the Qwest Dex white pages are really, really funny stuff this year? Dude, I was ROFLMAO all night.

Hand over the Doritos, will ya', man?

And don't forget, pass the kouchie from the left-hand side.

-- Ashley Roachclip,
High Times

3:50 AM


Anonymous said...
ok mighty favog - i dont know who you are but you obviously do not know wargo personally. i do. by no means is he pathetic and he sure as hell has more brain cells than you do, even if he does smoke pot- he is one of the smartest people i know actually. so i think you should stop your judgmental comments that you are posting based on information that you got from the advocate. i hate to tell you - but the media is not always right, actually they seldom seem to be. they portray wargo as some psychotic kid on drugs which is the exact opposite. so stop making accusations. obviously he isn't some loner like the Virginia Tech kid, his friends are standing up for him all over the place - even people who don't know him very well at all. so shutup with all your little comments.
- a personal friend of wargo's

4:07 PM

The Mighty Favog said...
Oh, little prole who can't even post a pseudonym!

For someone who is against judgmentalism, you certainly are being judgmental. Not knowing me -- or my IQ . . . or my college GPA . . . or anything -- you have deemed me judgmental, and less intelligent than someone who is stupid enough to be IN POSSESSION of ganja AND whatever "drug paraphernalia" he got from the head shop.

Even Forrest Gump knew enough to listen to his mama when she said "Stupid is as stupid does."

Child, don't EVEN get me started on the amount of intelligence it takes to just JOKE (if indeed Mr. Wargo was joking) about killing Hillary Clinton a-tall, much less mere weeks after Virginia Tech.

Finally, this is MY BLOG and the only reason I even ALLOWED your semiliterate response telling me to "shutup with all your little comments" was so I could have the immense pleasure of BLISTERING YOUR ASS.

And it was fun, I admit.

Oh, while I'm thinking of it: Locate the shift key. Learn to punctuate.

And here I was, thinking standards had been raised in the decades since my tenure at the Ol' War Skule. I think, perhaps, I prefer the old paradigm of "Let 'em all in, then it's 'Root, hog, or die' time, boys."

12:50 AM


Anonymous said...
wow, you have no idea what your talking about.. you dont even know ryan so why dont you stick to writing what you so know about

9:08 PM


The Mighty Favog said...
Dear Anonymous the Third,

If "your" in college, and if "your" passing, I'm moving, because the educational system has imploded and we're all doomed.

OH, WAIT. I did move out of Louisiana . . . 19 years ago.

You represent so well for my benighted home state.

1:01 AM

Stupid newspaper tricks

The (Minneapolis) Star-Tribune is run by insane people.

What else can one say about management "geniuses" who would take away James Lileks' daily column and -- even I, who used to work for some newspaper doozies in a previous incarnation, couldn't believe this one -- turn him into a local straight-news scribbler?

NEWSPAPERMEN USED TO USE words like "scribbler" in their copy without irony or snarkiness, back when "ink-stained wretches" (another winning phrase) mostly were all men. Today, it sounds stupid. But at least it indicates a functioning sense of whimsy and the occasional awkward stab at imagination.

Obviously, someone at the Strib slapped Do Not Resuscitate orders on both whimsy and imagination.

Here's what Lileks has to say about the whole thing on his blog:

There’s been some talk that I might leverage my mad web skillz into a tech beat, reporting on the Internet. But a local beat about the Internet? How many stories can do you about six guys in a loft coding a hot new start-up? And heaven forbid we have to illustrate them, because then you get the inevitable geek-by-the-screen shot. Look! He’s customizing the drop-down location menu so it defaults to the United States instead of Afghanistan!

I don’t want to write about the Internet. I want to write on the Internet. I’d rather develop content than report about content developers. It’s that simple, and it’s also a matter of recognizing my failings: I am not Biff Deadline, Ace Reporter. I can do long stories with lots of color, all aslosh with subjective opinions, but writing straight news - clearly, simply, briskly - is a skill I lack, and I take off my hat to those who've mastered that discipline.

My column will end a week from this Friday. (There’s a series of pieces I can’t wait to write.) After that, it's just-the-facts-ma'am - and I'll no longer be telecommuting, either. This means I will start burning my share of hydrocarbons like a good American. Hell, I may leave the vehicle running all day outside the building just to make up for lost time. Maybe I will put a green roof on the car to balance things out. Some turf, some switchgrass. It's murder on the paint but we all must do our part.

Would it matter if you contacted the paper? It very well might. Here's the reader's rep's page.

If I can get my column back and / or a nice big Online gig, that would be a satisfactory conclusion. Reporting on internet start-ups as opposed to joining an internet start-up – eh, not so much.

And let that be the last time the phrase “not so much” is used here. It’s old. We’ve all had a jolly laugh, but I heard Jeff Foxworthy use it on an oil-change commercial, which is like the UN-approved international standard for something being over.

I THINK I KNOW -- because it's pretty obvious -- what's going on. Star-Tribune management is trying to make Lileks quit. And if that fails, they hope that putting him in a grossly enough mismatched job might allow them to conjure up some grounds to can him.

Why?

Here's why.

From what I gather, the Star-Tribune is a Guild (newspaper union) paper. Harder to outright fire people just because. Must downsize. Must make paper more attractive by emasculating it.

Must. (CLUNK!) Make. "Non-essential." Personnel. Quit.

Avoid. Buyout. When. (BEEP!) Possible.

Must. Make. Work. (SPROING!) Lives. Living. Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell. (CLICK!) Hell.

IF YOU ASK ME, the Devil has a corner office.

Louisiana 1927 1965 2005 2007

If the definition of insanity, as some contend, is doing the same idiotic thing over and over again, each time expecting different results, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers is nuts. Not to mention incompetent.

And New Orleans and much of the surrounding area is doomed. Sooner or later.

Now, maybe you don't care that New Orleans is doomed. Maybe you figure anyone who lives in a place below sea level near the Gulf of Mexico ought to drown when the hurricane blows -- or at least lose everything and get no help from nobody -- for being that damned stupid.

Personally, I feel the same way -- kind of -- about Oklahoma (or Kansas) and tornadoes. On the other hand, I live in Omaha, which has had sizable chunks leveled by past twisters. Call me a stupid hypocrite.

BUT IF YOU CAN'T MUSTER any sympathy for the poor people of New Orleans, at least get angry that the Corps of Engineers is being crazy-dumb with your tax dollars. And be furious -- and ashamed -- that the government of the United States of America can't seem to protect one lousy city from the surge when the Netherlands has managed to do just that for an entire country for decades.

Note, also, that some of those still-dry Dutch regions lie farther below sea level than New Orleans. The New York Times is on the story, which also gets the full multimedia treatment from National Geographic Magazine.

Here's some of the NYT account:

Some of the most celebrated levee repairs by the Army Corps of Engineers after Hurricane Katrina are already showing signs of serious flaws, a leading critic of the corps says.

The critic, Robert G. Bea, a professor of engineering at the University of California, Berkeley, said he encountered several areas of concern on a tour in March.

The most troubling, Dr. Bea said, was erosion on a levee by the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet, a navigation canal that helped channel water into New Orleans during the storm.

Breaches in that 13-mile levee devastated communities in St. Bernard Parish, just east of New Orleans, and the rapid reconstruction of the barrier was hailed as one of the corps’ most significant rebuilding achievements in the months after the storm.

But Dr. Bea, an author of a blistering 2006 report on the levee failures paid for by the National Science Foundation, said erosion furrows, or rills, suggest that “the risks are still high.” Heavy storms, he said, may cause “tear-on-the-dotted-line levees.”

Dr. Bea examined the hurricane protection system at the request of National Geographic magazine, which is publishing photographs of the levee and an article on his concerns about the levee and other spots on its Web site at ngm.com/levees.

Corps officials argue that Dr. Bea is overstating the risk and say that they will reinspect elements of the levee system he has identified and fix problems they find. The disagreement underscores the difficulty of evaluating risk in hurricane protection here, where even dirt is a contentious issue. And discussing safety in a region still struggling with a 2005 disaster requires delicacy.

Hurricane season begins again next month.

The most revealing of the photographs, taken from a helicopter, looks out from the levee across the navigation canal and a skinny strip of land to the expanses of Lake Borgne. From the grassy crown of the levee, small, wormy patterns of rills carved by rain make their way down the landward side, widening at the base into broad fissures that extend beyond the border of the grass.

Dr. Bea, who was recently appointed to an expert committee for plaintiffs’ lawyers in federal suits against the government and private contractors over Hurricane Katrina losses, said that he could not be certain the situation was dangerous without further inspection and that he wanted to avoid what he called “cry wolf syndrome.” But, he added, he does not want to ignore “potentially important early warning signs.”

He praised the corps for much of the work it had done since the storm, but he added that the levee should be armored with rock or concrete against overtopping, a move the corps has rejected in the short term.

Another expert who has viewed the photographs, J. David Rogers, called the images “troubling.” Dr. Rogers, who holds the Karl F. Hasselmann chair in geological engineering at the University of Missouri-Rolla, said it would take more work, including an analysis of the levee soils, to determine whether there was a possibility of catastrophic failure.

But he said his first thought upon viewing the images was, “That won’t survive another Katrina.” Dr. Rogers worked on the 2006 report on levee failures with Dr. Bea.

An army of squat . . . .

When Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, the a lot of the National Guard -- and its equipment -- was in Iraq.

When wildfires charred western Nebraska last year, the Black Hawk helicopter the state's National Guard brought into the fight was a loaner from Arizona. All Nebraska's Black Hawks were in Iraq.

When a monster EF-5 tornado wiped the town of Greensburg, Kan., off the map Friday night . . . .

From The Associated Press:

Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius said Sunday evening that the state's response will likely be hampered because much of the equipment usually positioned around the state to respond to emergencies - including tents, trucks and semitrailers - is now in Iraq.

"Not having the National Guard equipment, which used to be positioned in various parts of the state, to bring in immediately is really going to handicap this effort to rebuild," said Sebelius.

Sharon Watson, a spokeswoman for the adjutant general's office, which manages state resources during emergencies, acknowledged the strain.

"We are never at 100 percent because we are allocated a certain amount from the National Guard Bureau. With the war, we are much shorter than we would be. We have about 40 percent of what is allocated," Watson said.

She said the state has a shortage of heavy equipment transport trailers, pallet-sized loading systems, Humvees, dump trucks and other large equipment that would be help move massive amount of debris.

Pot makes would-be assassins stupid. Allegedly.

This is your political assassin.

This is your political assassin on drugs.

Doesn't he take a pathetic mug shot?

(Standard legal disclaimer: Louisiana State student Richard Ryan Wargo is presumed innocent until proven guilty, and nothing written here is to suggest that he is, in fact, absolutely, positively guilty and will spend a long, long time in jail because heads are screw-ups. Allegedly. After all, it all COULD have been a really sick joke -- particularly after Virgina Tech -- gone horribly, horribly wrong because alleged potheads allegedly lack the brain cells that once controlled good judgment. Some say.)

The details are in The (Baton Rouge) Advocate today:

An LSU student accused of threatening to kill U.S. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., first approached a classmate about the plot April 20, LSU Police said Friday.

The classmate, after being approached a second time and then learning Clinton was due to arrive in Baton Rouge today for the National Conference of Black Mayors, alerted police of the threat, LSU Police Chief Ricky Adams said.

That information led to the arrest of Richard Ryan Wargo, 19, 10301 Evangeline, Shreveport. He was booked into East Baton Rouge Parish Prison Thursday night on counts of terrorizing, communicating false information of planned arson, simple possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. State District Judge Mike Erwin set a $1 million bond Thursday.

Phone messages left by The Advocate at the Wargo’s family home in Shreveport and at Clinton’s Senate office in Washington, D.C., were not immediately returned.

Although Clinton, a declared presidential candidate, is scheduled to speak today at the mayors’ conference, the arrest warrant for Wargo issued Thursday by LSU Police does not mention the conference nor does it give a specific day or time when the alleged threat might be carried out.

Adams said Friday his office learned of the alleged threat at 6 p.m. Thursday when the student came in to report it to Officer Patrick Arden McCarty. Adams said the student told McCarty that Wargo first mentioned the alleged attack April 20. Wargo approached the classmate a second time three days later, the warrant says.

“He put one and one together after he saw (Clinton) was coming to town. That compelled him to come forward,” Adams said.

(snip)

The warrant says a classmate of Wargo’s told an LSU Police officer the two students were talking when Wargo made the alleged threat.

Wargo told the other student that he was interested in committing an act of terrorism, and that it would be a “national event,” the warrant says. Wargo asked if the other student was interested in participating, the warrant says.

When the classmate asked Wargo if the act of terrorism was politically motivated, Wargo nodded, and said, “Hillary Clinton,” the warrant said.

According to the warrant, the other student said he assumed Wargo was talking about Clinton’s headquarters and told Wargo, “You know that that’s only going to make her more popular.”

Wargo replied: “True, but have you ever heard of a dead president?” the warrant says.

According to the warrant, Wargo indicated that he would commit the act when Clinton, D-N.Y., was in Baton Rouge to campaign for the upcoming presidential election.

Under Louisiana law, a terrorizing conviction carries a sentence of up to 15 years in prison and a fine up to $15,000 while communicating false information of a planned arson carries a sentence of up to 20 years in prison.

According to a profile of Wargo on his Facebook page, he is member of Stop Hillary Clinton: One Million Strong Against Hillary. According to a Stop Hillary Clinton online page, also on Facebook, the group has 244,782 members.

Facebook is an online social network that links people with common interests.

LSU Chancellor Sean O’Keefe issued a statement after Wargo’s arrest.

“LSU is saddened to learn that one of our students has been arrested in connection with this case. But, the heightened security and awareness procedures we have implemented at LSU have contributed to averting a tragedy,” O’Keefe said.

Adams said the security and awareness procedures were implemented after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Those procedures were re-emphasized at LSU following the recent attacks by a gunman at Virginia Tech.

Old stuff . . . alt stuff . . . same stuff? Good stuff.

OK. That took a while.

I've been trying to upload this week's Revolution 21 podcast since 11-something last night. Pod-O-matic picked a fine time for its new software to have a nervous breakdown.

Here's a good reason for gun control: If I'd had one handy last night and most of today, I'd be sitting at the public library -- at the bank of PCs at the Omaha Public Library -- putting a PayPal button on the Revolution 21 homepage and on the blog. Right before I wrote a post -- a bleg, actually -- seeking donations so I could purchase a new computer.

Mentioning nothing about the unfortunate gunplay.

Anyway . . . .

IF THERE'S A THEME for this latest installment of the Revolution 21 podcast, it's everything old is new again. Or . . . your "new" music's not as "new" as you think it is.

Or something like that.

In other words, we mix things up real good this go 'round, with the result being that -- if you didn't know better . . . and, hey, maybe you don't -- it's hard to tell the new "out there" stuff from the "out there" stuff of your Mighty Favog's generation. But that's OK.

It's all good. You know?

Also, to close the show, we'll play you a great piece of music, and you'll get to hear the poignant story behind the song.

The Revolution 21 podcast. Be there. Aloha.

It's starting to look a lot like Brezh-nev . . .

If George Bush has been doing his best impression of a doddering Soviet dictator overseeing a Near Eastern debacle, and an increasingly beleaguered U.S. military is starting to develop Red Army ethics . . . does that make us the new Evil Empire?

After reading this Associated Press account, you have to wonder. That is, after you read it and, first, weep:

In a survey of U.S. troops in combat in Iraq, fewer than half of Marines and a little more than half of Army soldiers said they would report a member of their unit for killing or wounding an innocent civilian.

More than 40 percent support the idea of torture in some cases, and 10 percent reported personally abusing Iraqi civilians, the Pentagon said Friday in what it called its first ethics study of troops at the war front. Units exposed to the most combat were chosen for the study, officials said.

"It is disappointing," said analyst John Pike of the Globalsecurity.org think tank. "But anybody who is surprised by it doesn't understand war. ... This is about combat stress."

The military has seen a number of high-profile incidents of alleged abuse in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, including the killings of 24 civilians by Marines in Haditha, the rape and killing of a 14-year-old girl and the slaying of her family in Iraq and the sexual humiliation of detainees at Abu Ghraib prison.

"I don't want to, for a minute, second-guess the behavior of any person in the military — look at the kind of moral dilemma you are putting people in," Christopher Preble of the libertarian Cato Institute think tank said of the mission in Iraq. "There's a real tension between using too much force, which generally means using force to protect yourself, and using too little and therefore exposing yourself to greater risk."

The overall study was the fourth in a series done by a special mental health advisory team since 2003 aimed at assessing the well-being of forces serving in Iraq.

Officials said the teams visited Iraq last August to October, talking to troops, health care providers and chaplains.

The study team also found that long and repeated deployments were increasing troop mental health problems.

But Maj. Gen. Gale Pollock, the Army's acting surgeon general, said the team's "most critical" findings were on ethics.

"They looked under every rock, and what they found was not always easy to look at," said Ward Casscells, assistant secretary of defense for health.

THIS UNJUST, UNNECESSARY WAR has tainted everything it has touched. The home of the free -- this "nation of laws" -- tortures "enemy combatants" to dubious effect.

The "war on terror" has been a boon for . . . terror. The "freedom" we brought to those once oppressed by Saddam turned out to be the freedom of the grave. And the peace? That of the dead.

Iraq is a bloody debacle. Our military is broken -- materially, bodily, ethically and spiritually. Some 3,358 American soldiers have died.

At home, we are less free and dubiously secure.

Iran is gonna get The Bomb.

BACK IN 2000, a lot of us voted for George Bush, and prayed for his victory in the disputed election because, frankly, we despaired over abortion and our country's worsening embrace of the Culture of Death and desperately wanted to buy ourselves some time via the shortcut of presidential politics.

Judgment is nigh, we thought. After all, God is just, we are wicked and He could not and would not forever stay our comeuppance when we'd sooooooo been asking for it. At least that was my metaphysical reasoning.

I wasn't thrilled about Bush, but he was spouting the social-conservative party line. Maybe he could hold the line on depravity. Maybe he could appoint the justices needed to start rolling back Roe v. Wade.

Maybe if in politics we trusted, we could be a little less death loving. Maybe we could stay God's hand. Buy some time for turning around the culture. ("How?" you ask? I dunno. Politics? More Catholic and evangelical media projects? Blowing up MTV? I dunno.)

In hindsight, it all sounds pretty damned stupid and presumptuous. Now, it sounds like we "saints" were tempting the Almighty as much -- if not more -- than all Planned Parenthood's shrieking pro-abort storm troopers.

But that's what I was thinking, and that's what millions of others will admit to thinking, if they're honest. Redemption through politics was tempting when you looked at the long, hard and dirty slog required to effect true cultural change.

Give us another chance, Lord. See? We'll elect this nice Republican man. Well, yeah, he'll probably suck up to the rich and do nothing for the poor, but he talks right about abortion and sodomy!

WHOM DID WE THINK we were fooling? Obviously not God.

And, I fear, in trying to stave off judgment by voting right, instead of by living right and witnessing right, we brought upon ourselves the very instrument of divine judgment.

By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion . . . .

Justice is blind. Stars are jailed.

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer of Los Angeles County is my new hero. Idiot socialite Paris Hilton dared him to throw the book at her . . . and he did.

All hail Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer. God save this honorable court!

MSNBC has the cellebrity scoop:

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

“I’m very sorry and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all,” she told the judge before he announced the sentence.

She was then ordered to report to a women’s jail in suburban Lynwood on the set date or face 90 days behind bars. The judge’s ruling excluded her from paying to serve time in a jail of her choice, as some are allowed.

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton’s mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton, then blurted out: “May I have your autograph?”

Paris Hilton was among a series of witnesses who took the stand during the hearing. She testified she believed her license was initially suspended for 30 days and that she was allowed to drive for work purposes during the next 90 days.

She said that when an officer who stopped her in January made her sign a document stating her license was suspended, she thought he was mistaken and did not actually look at the document.

Also called to the stand was Hilton’s spokesman, Elliot Mintz. Hilton and her attorneys characterized Mintz as a liaison between Hilton and her lawyers.

Mintz testified that to his knowledge Hilton did not drive during the 30-day period. He said he then advised her that he believed her license was no longer suspended.

The judge called Mintz’s testimony worthless and expressed disbelief at Hilton’s lawyers.

“I can’t believe that either attorney did not tell her that the suspension had been upheld,” the judge said. “She wanted to disregard everything that was said and continue to drive no matter what.”

Hilton looked forward and didn’t speak to news media as she left court. Her mother looked upset.

When a reporter asked what she thought of the judge’s decision, a visibly angry Kathy Hilton responded: “What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke.”

One of her attorneys, Howard Weitzman, said he would appeal.

“I’m shocked, I’m surprised and really disheartened in the system that I’ve worked in for close to 40 years,” Weitzman said.

A COUPLE OF QUICK COMMENTS . . . first, can His Honor throw Paris' sorry excuses for parents in jail, too? Just because?

Second, this, the world's smallest violin, is playing "My Heart Bleeds for You," attorney Weitzman.

SO FAR in Paris Hilton's 26 years, her mark on the world -- more of a skidmark, actually -- consists basically of a bad TV show, a bad record, a bad movie and being very, very bad on videotape. (Nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more, say no more!)

As she cools her jets in not-so-splendid isolation, learning to love chicken -- lots and lots of chicken . . . no beef or pork served to inmates -- may God grant her a really miserable 45 days, and the major attitude adjustment she so desperately needs.

If they were selling cigarettes to kids, you know there would be hell to pay

What do you suppose would happen to some male employee of Verizon Wireless or Universal Music Group if he wandered through Corporate Cubicle Land serenading female employees thus?

I see you windin' n grindin' up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know, girl

Money in the air as mo feel grab you by your coattail, take you to the motel, hoe sale,
Don't tell, won't tell, baby said I don't talk Dogg but she told on me, oh well,
Take a picture wit me, what the flick gon' do, baby stick to me & ima stick on u,
If you pick me then ima pick on you, d-o-double g and I'm here to put this d*** on you, I'm stuck on p**** n urs is right, wrip riding them poles and them doors is tight and tighter
And ima get me a shot for the end of the night cause p**** is p****, and baby you're p**** for life.

I see you windin' n grindin' up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know, girl

Shorty I can see you ain't lonely handful of niggas n they all got cheese,
So you looking at me now whats it's gonna be? just another tease far as I can see,
Tryin' to get you up out this club if it means spendin' a couple dubs,
Throwin' bout 30 stacks in the back make it rain like that cause I'm far from a scrub,
U know my pedigree, ex-deala use to move phetamines,
Girl I spend money like it don't mean nuttin' n besides I got a thang for u.

I see you windin' n grindin' up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know, girl

Mobbin' through club in low pressing I'm sitting in the back in the smokin' section (just smoking),
Birds eye, I got a clear view, you can't see me but I can see you (baby I see u),
It's cool we jet the mood is set,
Your p**** is wet, you rubbing your back and touching your neck,
Your body is movin' you humpin' n jumpin' your t****** is bouncin', you smilin' n grinin' n looking at me.

Girl n while your lookin' at me I'm ready to hit the caddy right up on the patio move the patty to the caddy,
Baby you got a phatty the type I'd like to marry wantin' to just give you everything, that's kinda scary,
'Cause I'm loving the way you shake your ass, bouncin', got me tippin' my glass,
Normally don't get caught up too fast but I got a thang for you.

I see you windin' n grindin' up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know, girl

I see you windin' n grindin' up on that pole,
I know you see me lookin' at you and you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know
I wanna f*** you, (f*** you) you already know, girl

HE'D GET FIRED for sexual harrassment, you say? I'm sure you're probably correct.

Now watch the video below (and viewers be advised, this is highly vulgar, sexually explicit content) and tell me what would happen if some male employee tried this at the Verizon Wireless or Universal Music Group corporate "holiday" party.

HE'D GET CANNED, you say? Quite possibly get the hell beat out of him . . . before somebody called the cops and he got arrested for sexual assault?

I think you'd -- again -- be correct.

But if the first f'rinstance was a hit hip-hop single and the second f'rinstance was a "dance" onstage -- with a 14-year-old girl, no less -- at a concert in Trinidad, well, that's just show biz. And the soulless little men in the conservative suits at Verizon Wireless and the Universal Music Group won't be letting niggling matters like extreme vulgarity or sexual assualt on a juvenile get in the way of making a buck off the popularity of ex-con R&B star Akon.

From World Net Daily:

Hip-hop superstar Akon is touring the U.S. with the help of major U.S. corporations, including a partnership with Verizon, despite being under investigation for a simulated rape of a 14-year-old preacher's daughter caught on video last month at a concert in Trinidad.

Patrick Manning, prime minister of Trinidad, called for a formal investigation of the explicit April 12 performance at Trinidad's Club Zen, which has since been closed by authorities.

"I have taken very careful notice of this matter and the owner of Zen owes it to the public to take responsibility," said Manning. "I will be interfacing with Zen because that kind of thing should never be allowed to happen in this country."

Security Minister Fitzgerald Hinds described the on-stage antics with Danah Alleyne as "lewd." He insists Akon should be prosecuted.

The girl is the daughter of Flaming World Ministry pastor David Alleyne. She came forward, with her father, to apologize for going on stage with the Senegalese-American Akon, saying she regrets attending the concert.

The shocking video has been pulled from the popular video site YouTube, though copies of it can be found on many other Internet sites.

The teen said she was permitted into the club despite being underage. She was part of what was characterized as an impromptu dance competition announced by the singer. The competition featured seven girls. Akon promised a trip to Africa to the winner. After the teen "won" the contest, Akon announced the Africa prize was actually him.

"I got carried away, I started to dance as well, but I never thought it was going to be like that," Danah Alleyne told the Trinidad Express. "I was shocked. My head was hitting the floor.

Other officials in Trinidad have called for Akon to be banned from further public performances on the island.

The video shows Akon throwing Alleyne on the floor like a "rag doll" and simulating violent sex with her in various positions. The crowd cheers the entire ordeal.

Though Akon and his managers have refused comment on the incident, his defenders on the Internet have attacked the girl for her provocative dress and alluring looks.

"This whole hip hop thing is a guise and I don't want any part of it," said the girl later. "I don't want any part of it. Look at what I have to go through with one mistake that I made. My Dad warned me every time and I didn't listen. I am sorry."

She says now her only dancing will be in the dance ministry of her father's church.

(snip)

Besides the controversy in Trinidad, Akon has served jail time for armed robbery and drug sales. But that hasn't stopped him from appearing recently as a guest performer on "American Idol" and receiving corporate support from companies like Verizon.

Earlier this year, Verizon Wireless announced a partnership with him on a marketing campaign to promote mobile music phones and appear in a TV ad currently airing throughout the U.S.

"Akon has emerged as one of the world's most compelling and exciting stars," said John Harrobin, vice president of marketing and new media for Verizon. "His commitment to his artistry and the community enables us to take our partnership with music industry innovators in yet another direction by collaborating on this unique TV advertising campaign."

Recently Akon participated in a Verizon Wireless event celebrating Black History Month coinciding with the launch of a new store in Harlem.

Akon's recording "Konvicted" was near the top of the Billboard album charts for weeks. He's a best-selling performer in more than a dozen countries including the United Kingdom, France, Canada and South Africa.

This is not the first time Akon has been criticized for dirty dancing. In his video for his hit "Snack Dat," Akon hits actress Tara Reid on her behind and then sandwiches her in a sexually provocative way between himself and another man.

Police officers were in the club during the act but did not intervene. Leela Ramdeen, chairwoman of the police service commission, said an investigation into why is under way.

WE ALWAYS SEEM to look for evil in the form of madmen flying jetliners into skyscrapers or, perhaps, unhinged gunmen slaughtering innocents on some unsuspecting campus. Or maybe you're looking for abject evil in the specter of George W. Bush or, alternatively, Hillary Clinton.

Rarely do we look for evil in the faceless corporate executive who'll sell any poison to anybody's kid so that share prices will soar heavenward. We think abject evil is some scary, macabre and twistedly dashing thing. We think the Devil still dresses in a red cape and carries a pitchfork.

I firmly believe in the banality of evil. I believe the Devil carries a BlackBerry.

I believe Satan is pulling overtime at Verizon Wireless and at the Universal Music Group. I believe Satan was physically present in the cheering Trinidadian crowd, the one egging Akon on as he molested a child.

I believe Beelzebub books guests and schedules videos on MTV. And at BET. I believe ol' Screwtape had a hand in slating Akon for a guest shot on American Idol.

I believe the Master of Lies is in charge of a big chunk of American radio. And I believe the Evil One is hiding out in all our hearts, particularly when we look upon his handiwork in the culture all around us -- in the office all around us, in the classroom all around us -- and we stare upon it slackjawed (or worse) and do nothing.

Unlike some other bloggers and commentators, I don't think the New Dark Ages are just down the road.

I think they're here.

Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

Just making extra sure?

This just in from the Department of Redundancy Department: Rage Against the Machine -- the politcal-rock band, not how I deal with computers -- is back, and lead singer Zack de la Rocha has a prescription for what ails us. Well, at least for the part of what ails us that is the Bush Administration.

The San Jose Mercury-News fills us in:

He also railed against the war in Iraq and likened Bush administration officials to Nazi war criminals.

"This current administration is no exception. They should be tried and hung and shot," he said.

Drummer Brad Wilk, bassist Tim Commerford and guitarist Tom Morello, who wore a hat with the word "UNITY" on it, completed the lineup.

"They changed my life. They made me a liberal," said sweat-drenched history teacher Rafael Ramon, 25, who had waited in a crowd packed shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the stage all day.

"All of America needed Rage to come back. They've been missing," he said.

Tried.

And hung.

And shot.

Well, Rage just believes in being thorough, I guess.

I'M NOT SURE who's the bigger idiot, Zack de la Rocha or the history teacher who thinks that kind of hate speech -- and don't tell me publicly advocating the violent death of the president isn't hate speech -- is what's needed today.

Contrary to half-witted 25-year-old schoolteachers' opinions, such talk -- even by idiot rockers -- probably merits a serious tete-a-tete with Secret Service or FBI agents, just on the principle that that's what surely would happen to me if I crossed that rhetorical line. Apart from that, however, I have a serious question that I intend to ask, and ask, and ask, and ask again . . . .

WHAT'S THE DEAL with a society when the only thing everybody can agree upon is that the solution to one problem or another -- we tend to disagree on which problems -- involves somebody getting killed?

As far as key members of the Bush Administration go, I would be perfectly happy with impeachment, indictment, trial and imprisonment. Of killing, we've had a gullet full.

Do you actually have to die to earn a Darwin Award?

BLESS THEIR HEARTS, some folks seem to keep on living through no fault of their own whatsoever.

Since any further introduction I might offer would just wreck the story, I'll throw it to George Sells of WAFB-TV in Baton Rouge, La. You can read the story here, but that hardly does it justice. Click on the picture above to watch the story.

Counting it all as joy

Unless you're Christopher Hitchens -- who has made hating Mother Teresa a sacrament in his very urbane, very clever worship of nothingness -- the more you learn about the little nun from Calcutta, the more you are convicted that you're a really, really crappy human being.

Not to mention Christian.

Hitchens, being a first-rate atheist, doesn't have to worry about being a crappy Christian. But I do. And, thus, yours truly stands double convicted of rottenness and sloth.

All it took was an article from Godspy.com. Here's a snippet:

In one of those long-secret letters, from 1957, she bared her soul to a spiritual director:

"In the darkness . . . Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? . . I call, I cling, I want, and there is no one to answer. . . Where I try to raise my thoughts to heaven, there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul . . . I am told God lives in me — and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."

Other saints have confessed feelings of abandonment by God. In the sixteenth century, St. John of the Cross coined a phrase that now describes the experience — "the dark night of the soul." But we would be hard-pressed to find another saint who suffered a darkness so thick or a night so long as Mother Teresa.

To quote again from those long-secret letters:

"They say people in hell suffer eternal pain because of the loss of God... In my soul I feel just this terrible pain of loss, of God not wanting me, of God not being God, of God not really existing. That terrible longing keeps growing, and I feel as if something will break in me one day."

But why would God permit such suffering in one who had given her life so completely to do his will? The answer may lie in the question.

We learned from her letters, that in 1942, while still serving as principal at a private girls' school in Calcutta, Mother Teresa had made a secret vow — "to give to God anything that He may ask, 'not to refuse Him anything.'"

God apparently took her at her word, and put her vow to the test. In 1946, when her locutions began, Jesus told her to quit her comfortable job and go serve the poor: "There are convents... caring for the rich and able-to-do people, but for my very poor there is absolutely none." She did what she was told. Then she didn't hear his voice again for another half-century.

As harsh and dreadful as it sounds, it's a pattern familiar in the Bible and in the lives of the saints. The servants of the Lord often undergo an ordeal, some test of their commitment and faithfulness. Think of Jeremiah or Hosea, or how much of the New Testament concerns suffering for the Lord's sake. "When you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for trials," the Book of Sirach says.

From her letters, we see that Mother Teresa understood herself to be enduring such a trial—a martyrdom less physical than psychological and spiritual.

So, what are we to make of her happiness and joy—was it all a front, an act? There's no evidence of that. She appears to have been giving us a modern day, flesh-and-blood lesson in the meaning of Christian joy. The fact that while she was alive we never had any inkling of how much she suffered only makes her witness that much more challenging to our complacencies.

Mother Teresa wrote a lot about joy. It comes, she said, from being close to Jesus. Or as she put it: "Joy is a sign of union with God—of God's presence." Knowing what we now know about her feelings of divine rejection, this sounds like an inside joke, or a deliciously dark irony. But she had no guile about her. She always told us that joy wasn't a matter of attitude adjustment or putting on a happy face. Joy was hard work: "It is always hard, all the more reason why we should try to acquire it and make it grow in our hearts."

In the logic of the saints, which is the logic of the Scriptures, this makes sense. We're supposed to strive to get closer to Jesus, to become more like him. To imitate Jesus means to offer ourselves in love to God—to accept suffering and even death, as he did on the cross. St. Paul wrote that we should offer our bodies as "living sacrifices" to God.

That's how Mother Teresa lived. Even the littlest task could be a beautiful sacrifice she offered to God. And she came to believe that her spiritual anguish was a sign of her deepening union with Jesus, a sharing in his experience of being forsaken on the cross.

This growing awareness, too, is reflected in her letters: "I have begun to love my darkness, for I believe now that it is a part, a very small part, of Jesus' darkness and pain on the earth."

HAT TIP: Parousian Post