Waits, Waits, it's Friday!

Tom Waits. The BBC. 1979. You bet.

Happy Friday, y'all. Solid.

Stoning school buses by other means?

Click on picture for video.

Why say something intelligent when you can just demonize people?

Probably because stereotyping and demonizing sells when you're an also-ran Boston newspaper during these "interesting times," in the Chinese-curse meaning of the words. At least I'm sure that's what columnist Howie Carr and his Boston Herald editors must have been thinking when they learned the commonwealth of Massachusetts has been giving used cars to select welfare recipients who need wheels to get work.

YOU WANT TO SEE a prime example of the "Culture of Death" that has nothing directly to do with abortion? Here you go:

Let the taxpayers worry about those billion-dollar deficits. If you’re on welfare, come on down!

Nice enough that the layabouts get a free car - plus the state picks up the tab for insurance, excise tax, title, registration, inspection, and approved repairs. The absolute frosting on the cake is a free AAA membership.

Please, try not to let this newest handout destroy your faith in the truth of the budget crisis. You’re just angry because you can’t afford AAA. But your average welfare leech needs guaranteed road service a lot more than you do.

Don’t you hate it when you’re fleeing a department store after utilizing the five-finger discount, and the store security and the mall cops are in hot pursuit, and you jump in your Coupe DeVille and it won’t start. Damn!

Of course the gimme girls and gals need Triple-A for their welfare Cadillacs. (And yes, I understand they’re not really Cadillacs. Only the governor gets a Caddy on the arm.) You can’t expect a body to walk to the packy for their nightly supply of forties, can you?

Supposedly, these free welfare cars will enable the non-taxpayer to get a job. If they lose the job, the state comes down hard on them -- we the taxpayers will not reimburse the cost of insurance after the first six months. If the client quits work or is laid off during the first 12 months, all transportation benefits end, but the client will still keep the car.

But, but . . . what about the Triple-A? That’s an entitlement, you know. Has anybody got a phone number for the ACLU?

A lot of snotty people at the Boston Globe are going to be unemployed very shortly. Finally, a ray of hope for the bow-tied bumkissers. Maybe they, too, will be eligible for a welfare Cadillac.

GIVEN THAT YANKEE BOSTON fought school desegregation harder in 1974 than did many Southern cities previously or subsequently -- complete with the stoning of school buses full of black students and attacks on the police guarding them -- you'd think newspaper columnists in Beantown might be humble enough to tread carefully through this country's minefields of race, class and poverty.

You'd think that, but you'd be wrong.

Instead, Carr hops aboard a steamroller and assaults that minefield where race, class and poverty gets jumbled in a gumbo of statistical probabilities, stereotypes, reality and stubborn racism. And where there lie legitimate questions of policy, equity and the best use of scarce taxpayer dollars, the columnist decides to become something of a "layabout" himself.

WHY PUT TOGETHER a thoughtful piece full of thoughtful criticism when you can sign up for the pundit's dole and take a leisurely trip down the road angrily traveled? Why call state officials and ask some hard questions (or propose some sensible alternatives) when you can go all "Southie" on "the gimme girls and gals" who, no doubt, all are "fleeing a department store after utilizing the five-finger discount."

Why not lump every single recipient of public assistance together as bums and trash in a hateful orgasm of invective?

Well, I'll concede that Howie Carr and his Herald editors know their audience better than I do. Maybe hate and outrage is what sells in their corner of the New and Improved America.

But it sure is sad to think --35 whole years after South Boston and other neighborhoods went all George Wallace on a bunch of black kids -- that continuing to act, and write, like a bunch of lawless white trash can't get you "banned in Boston."

Romenesko's readers write

You want to know how bad things are in the newspaper business?

The Virgin Mary is appearing to Washington-bureau reporters. Jewish ones, no less.

YOU CAN'T make this stuff up -- even if telling stories is your business. The story of Mary in the coffee stain comes to us from one of the New Orleans Times-Picayune's reporters in the nation's capital, via a letter to the Poynter Institute's Romenesko blog:

I have never written you before.

But that was before I saw the Virgin Mary. I have been a reporter for more than 30 years, most of them at the Newhouse bureau in Washington. When they announced last year they were closing, I was rescued by The Times Picayune, which took me on board as a second Washington correspondent. In November, when the Newhouse bureau shut its doors, four of us - survivors from Newhouse - moved into some empty cubicles in the Cox bureau on Capitol Hill, a beautiful office with a lot of extra space. Within weeks of arriving, Cox announced it would be closing its Washington bureau in the spring.

Last week, the four of us, like hermit crabs, moved into empty cubicles in another beautiful newspaper office in Metro Center, subletting space from Hearst Newspapers, which sublets from McClatchy, which took over the office when it bought Knight Ridder.

On Monday evening, May 4, I went back to the Cox office to pack the rest of my boxes and clean out my cubicle. And there it was, on my desk, a coffee stain in the image of the Virgin Mary. I was a little surprised. Why me? I'm Jewish.

(snip)

I am still not sure what it means, but I confess that amid all the layoffs and furloughs and forced relocations, seeing the image comforted me. As it has been written, "When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me ..."

THERE IS little consolation these days for those in the newspaper business. This is particularly so when so many foaming-at-the-mouth members of the conservative tribe seek to blame all their ills -- indeed, all the ills of the country -- on the "liberal" media.

And this is obscenely so when those same unhinged denizens of the Limbaugh right take such unfettered joy in the demise of newspapers and the firings of thousands of their employees. Employees with spouses, children, dogs and mortgages to feed.

So if our mother, Mary, comes to comfort some of her children via a coffee stain . . . it sounds about right to me.

And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

OK, if you didn't like that one . . .

How about these license plates?

Even I can do better than that

If you're going to have a contest for your state's new license plate, is it really too much to ask that most of the choices don't suck?

Well, yes. It is too much to ask if you live in Nebraska, where state government -- taking political correctness and inclusiveness to new heights -- apparently had students from the (deep breath) Nebraska Center for the Education of Children Who Are Blind or Visually Impaired (ain't THAT a name and a half?) choose the license-plate finalists.

I mean, this (at right) is a finalist. For the love of God, stuff like this is what keeps Rush Limbaugh in business railing about the evil and incompetence of government.

Come on, what state official's brother-in-law did this? If the state wants to get into the graphic-design bidness, it should start by restricting the sale of Adobe software and making owners pay a yearly license fee.

Give the money to arts in the schools.

ANYWAY, I'm not the only one dismayed. Advertising and graphics-arts types in the Great State are livid the state opened up license-plate design to legislators' brothers-in-law instead of just awarding a contract to a Nebraska design firm.

From the NE Creative blog:

Here we go again... We went down this road already so you don't want to see my vent but this pisses me off. Bland license plates that will reflect our state as we drive to other states and others drive through our state. Spend some money, help a small design business out.

NE CREATIVE'S Zach Origitano then quotes from the Archrival youth-marketing agency's Facebook page:

The State of Nebraska is missing a huge opportunity. The license plate is more than just a functional sheet of metal, it's a branding opportunity. As the state tries to grow its tourism and change the perception of being a boring piece of flat land, it should think about all its touch points. The license plate could have been a big one. Instead of creating an image that enhances Nebraska, the four designs presented as our options do us one worse: it maintains and reinforces the status quo.

It's hard to critique the amateur designers--- they did the best they could and took part. In many ways we applaud them for making the effort to get involved. Rather, we have to look at the final designs as a result of the process. With an image opportunity so big, how could the State think it's even a semi-good idea to have an open-ended design contest? This would have been worth the time, effort and money to pay for the best talent the state has to offer. Nebraska has some incredible design talent. But you won't get them through a non-paid open call for entries. Instead, you'll get the amateur works you see with our final four. You get what you pay for.

OH, I DON'T KNOW. Yes, the amateur designs selected by the state stink. Well, that's not entirely true . . . a couple are competently done, if not exactly inspired or original. But I keep thinking professionals -- high-priced professionals, no less -- came up with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution redesign.

Face it, pros can suck as bad as anyone.

So, I think the problem we have here is one of suckage and not of amateurism. I mean, I'm an amateur designer, and my first reaction to the story today in the Omaha World-Herald was "I can do better than any of these."

So I figured I'd try. It took me about an hour or so from conception to finish. The result is at the top of this post.

I thought I'd go for a blend of simplicity, Nebraska tradition and breaking the mold.

The "NEB" on the plate is an adaptation of the state identifier on this 1933 Nebraska plate:

MEANWHILE, the whimsical artwork of the crusty old "cornhusker" is taken from the pre-1962 logo for the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers:

THEN, I just brought back Nebraska's traditional license-plate slogan, "The Cornhusker State."

It was as simple as that. I don't think it sucks, and I think it injects an element of whimsy that laughs at how folks on the coasts try to stereotype Nebraskans. Of course, what do I know about "branding"?

Then again, you get what you pay for. The designers all said.

This is an ex-newspaper!

It's over.

The American newspaper is dead, and we just need to start figuring out what replaces it. We need to start figuring out what keeps quality journalism alive.

I don't have any empirical data telling me the newspaper is dead, dead, dead. I do, though, have a nose that can smell a rotting corpse.

And when this (see right) is the best a major metro newspaper can come up with for a redesign, the parrot has expired.

Of course, the people who have gotten newspapers into their present state of repose would just have us believe that institutions like the Atlanta Journal-Constitution aren't dead, they're just pining for the fjords.

THE EDITOR of the Journal-Constitution, Julia Wallace, is one of those trying to convince us her newspaper is not an ex-parrot:

Nearly two years ago, we set out to chart a course for the future. As information habits changed and more of our print audience shifted to the Internet, we knew the status quo was not an option. A struggling economy only added to the challenge before us.

We thought the best answers would come from our readers. We talked to thousands of them. They guided us to the new product you’re holding in your hands today.

This daily newspaper is one designed for newspaper readers. For years our industry has chased those elusive nonreaders. Our market research led us down a different path. What we’d have to do to win over those nonreaders risked driving away our core readers. We believe we can thrive by increasing the satisfaction of those who already engage with us regularly. So . . . you see a newspaper that looks and reads very much like a newspaper.

We’ve invested millions in press upgrades, more color and a more newsy, sophisticated look. We hired an award-winning design firm, Lacava Design, from Montreal to help us create a newspaper that is easy to use and filled with information.

Also along the way, we found ways to do things more efficiently. Our reader feedback proved valuable when economic necessities forced us to scale back plans and coverage. It was our readers who helped us set priorities for what to keep and what could be sacrificed.

WE TALKED to thousands of readers. (We're blaming it on our audience research.)

We hired an award-winning design firm. (We spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for this turkey. After all, nothing says "In touch with north Georgia like designers from Montreal." I'll bet the TV listings have the late news coming on at 2300h.)

We adopted a more newsy, sophisticated look. (We laid off all our photographers.)

Ladies and gentlemen, this newspaper is bleedin' demised!

This paper, and others just like it, are bleedin' demised because editors and publishers didn't see the handwriting on the wall two decades ago and start looking for a new way forward. Since, classifieds have disappeared into a black hole called Craigslist, readers have abandoned print at warp speed for various Internet offerings and The Daily Show and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central -- Comedy Central! -- are where smart political commentary and sharp writing have gone to hide out.

NEWSPAPERS, on the other hand, are where the corncob suppositories at least keep the grim reaper alert for the next spate of layoffs.

The Daily Blab isn't dying because it didn't do enough readership surveys and tracking of how members of focus groups say they use the newspaper. The Daily Blab is "pinin' for the fjords" because of the one thing editors and publishers have forgotten: Imagination.

They couldn't imagine a future different from the printed past. They couldn't imagine, amid their MBA armies of men uniformed blue suits and red ties, that newspapering -- indeed, journalism -- is just as much artform as it is science.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution front page you see is the result of research and science. It reflects none of the passion, art and creativity involved in bringing the news to one's neighbors . . . every day.

The news is an ongoing conversation -- one cooked up with equal parts yelling, reasoned argument, compassion, "just the facts, ma'am," fire in the belly, smartassery, sobriety and a good belly laugh. What you see here is a research report.

It's what everybody said they wanted in a newspaper. Only lifeless. And the Internet Revolution will proceed apace. Without newspapers.

YOU WANT TO KNOW what really gave me that gut feeling of doom? The moment I noticed the dead parrot had been nailed to his perch by the pet-shop editor owner?

It was this, published today in Adweek:

At a time when newspapers are in a fight for survival in the Internet era, one is fighting back with an ad campaign that positions the paper as a chance to escape the tyranny of digital devices in everyday life.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has rolled out a new "Unplug. It's Sunday" campaign to promote the old-school Sunday newspaper as a refuge from the constant buzzing and beeping of smart phones, instant messages and e-mail that marks the modern workweek. The campaign, which runs until the end of the year, coincides with a recent redesign of the paper.

The Cox Enterprises paper is ironically turning to a digital agency to make the case for print.

The campaign, which costs over $1 million, is designed, in part, to reach readers of the AJC who don't get the paper on the Sunday, said Amy Chown, vp of marketing. It isn't meant to replace their Web use with the paper, she added.

"This is not an anti-Internet campaign," Chown said. "It’s not that we don’t want them to read us online. We wanted to balance the use of AJC.com during the week with the paper on Sunday."

"It's about how to reposition the newspaper," said Tony Quin, CEO of IQ Interactive, the independent Atlanta digital shop that created the campaign. "We came up with the idea as a counterpoint to the digital cacophony that exists in everyone's lives. Sunday is the day to relax and do something different than you do the rest of the week."

I GET A MENTAL IMAGE of buggy-whip makers putting up billboards saying "Horseless carriages are noisy, and shoveling manure is good for you."

Besides, the Journal-Constitution ad campaign does too undermine its digital product. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The ink-stained wretches in Atlanta could have saved themselves a lot of money and embarrassment. Before launching such a pointless and stupid campaign, they could have done one more bit of audience research.

They could have tried to pry a cellphone out of a teen-ager's hand and see what happened.

No, this is an ex-newspaper.

They built The Bob already. Deal with it.

The Omaha World-Herald, as it sheds employees and cuts back its circulation area, actually paid a pollster to see whether Omahans think the footbridge across the Missouri River is oh, so good or oh, sooey much budgetary lard.

I AM NOT making this up. And neither, unfortunately, are they:

The Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge, financed mainly with a $19 million federal earmark, has been controversial from it inception. Now it is a popular gathering point for families, bikers, runners and tourists.

But what do Omahans really think about the bridge linking Omaha and Council Bluffs?

See the results of The World-Herald Poll in Monday's newspaper. And watch for other poll results on the important issues facing Omaha in The World-Herald all this week.

TO BE FAIR, the pollster also was checking on important things, like the upcoming mayoral election. But you have to figure adding such stupidity to the poll effort didn't exactly make it any cheaper to conduct.

And what if Omahans don't like "The Bob"? What are we gonna do? Spend a few million more to tear it down?

File this poll under "Don't know. Don't care." And if you're the World-Herald, save the money it cost for this bit of pointless polling and buy an extra case of pencils or something.

The virtual photog . . . yet again

See what I mean? The virtual photography possibilities are virtually endless . . . and Omaha offers a lot to photograph.

VIRTUALLY, of course. Or tangibly, if you roll "old school."

With Google's 360/180-degree photographic bubble on its "street view" function, you get to pick your own virtual "shot." Just like the "real" thing. Sort of.

Above is a shot of downtown's Gene Leahy Mall, facing westward, taken from the 10th Street bridge over the park's central lagoon.

Hey! If nothing else, just say I've discovered a great -- and creative -- time waster.

16th and Douglas: the Googledy view

Here, in the Googledy view of Omaha, we have the old refusing to be intimidated by the towering hulk of the new.

ON THE LEFT is the Brandeis building, constructed in 1906 and added to in 1921. Originally the city's largest department store -- 10 whole floors of everything you ever needed -- the building now houses condominiums and apartments.

Meanwhile, on the right, is the new kid in town -- the First National Tower, opened in 2002 and the city's tallest building at 40 stories. It's the corporate headquarters of First National Bank.

17th and Douglas . . . by Google

17th and Douglas Streets, Omaha.

More Google art

The other day, I was doing a virtual drive through my hometown, during which I discovered the artistic -- the virtual photographic -- possibilities of the "street view" option on Google Maps.

Tonight, I thought I'd do the same with my present home, Omaha., Neb. Likewise, I thought I'd try the same subject matter -- the original transmission tower outside the studios of one of the city's venerable television stations.

So, here's the "street view," artistically selected, of KETV, Channel 7, at 27th and Douglas Street in downtown Omaha. I call this photography for the Facebook age.

AND I DO THINK there are possibilities in this for developing students' "artistic eye" in the classroom . . . and for photographers planning cityscape shoots before they get to the city and have to shoot "scapes."

On a personal level, though, I find I can just go to Google maps and virtually do what my late father-in-law did tangibly more than half a century ago when crews were erecting the Channel 7 tower, now the station's auxiliary transmission site.

OMAHA was a smaller place in 1957, television still had a large element of the whiz-bang to it and -- face it -- pleasures largely were of the "simple" variety. At least comparatively.

Back then, as a promotional thing, the future Channel 7 started the KETV Tower Watchers Club, and Dad was "hereby admitted to the circle of those who regularly observe the rise at 27th and Douglas Streets of this newest addition to Omaha's skyline."

I probably would have joined, too.

After all, I am the guy coaxing virtual art photography out of the functional, "how the hell to I get there" world of Google's "street view" gizmo.

American of the Year

It's always a rush when you stumble upon an ideological kindred spirit. It doesn't happen that often -- OK, almost never -- in my Favogian universe.

But it just happened. I present to you a great American -- former New York Times investigative reporter and Pulitzer Prize winner David Cay Johnston, expounding upon how the Reagan Revolution ushered in profoundly radical, unjust and unbiblical economic policy and passed it off as somehow "conservative."

TO THAT I say, "Amen, brother!"

The interview is in Vermont's independent weekly, Seven Days:

SD: Given that you’ve been doing investigative work for newspapers for many years, what do you think will happen now that newspapers are in danger of going extinct?

DCJ: Most serious journalism is still done by newspapers. What people see on TV at night typically begins with the work newspapers have done. The decline in print journalism is very bad in terms of protecting the public purse. Those who want to pick your pocket and enrich their friends are having a field day.

But if newspapers do die, that won’t necessarily mean we won’t have good journalism. Ninety percent of blogs read like drunks talking in a bar, but a few of them are very, very good. I’ve long warned that the collapse of serious news could be a precursor to a revolution in this country. And in a country as complex and as contentious as ours, a revolution could make Pol Pot’s Cambodia look tame by comparison.

SD: How could there possibly be a revolution in a country as apathetic as this one? There’s not much activism despite the economic crisis.

DCJ: Revolutions do arise from economic collapse. We’ve had a decade of faux economics that has left large numbers of people with no jobs and no prospects. We’re destroying social stability, and we’ve lost sight of fundamental principles.

SD: Such as?

DCJ: Where do you think democracy comes from? We got it from progressive taxation. It came about when Athens separated political power from economic power and gave ordinary people an equal voice. The only reason Athenians could get rich was because Athens made it possible for them to get rich. Civilization establishes necessary conditions, so the richer you are, the greater your burden to sustain civilization and democracy with your taxes.

That’s not what’s happening now. Americans making $26,000 a year have a tax burden about one-quarter greater than a person making $260,000. If you make $50,000 to $75,000, you pay roughly the same rate as someone making $100 million. My books show how all these devices take from the many and give to the few. America did all right for many decades because we got the rules right — until the rise of Reaganism. We then abandoned conservative, time-tested ideas for radical ideas that were sold as conservative. All throughout the Bible, taking from the poor and giving to the rich is denounced as evil. Almost everybody who runs for Congress and certainly for the White House makes at least a show of going to church. So how can it be that people who profess to believe in the Bible have enacted hundreds of laws that prescribe what’s described in the Bible as one of the most fundamental evils? We’ve just been through an era when it was argued that the only duty of a corporate executive is to push up share prices. But you can manipulate numbers, and a corporation doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It has customers, vendors, employees — and all the infrastructure of a democracy. You can’t have a healthy company in a sick society.

THAT'S A LINE all the "business firsters" ought to learn, live and learn to love, because it's true and getting truer: "You can’t have a healthy company in a sick society."

H1N1? Or could it be. . . ?

Whom does the Centers for Disease Control think it's fooling with these newly released "pictures" of the H1N1 "swine flu" virus?

If the gummint scientists want to post pictures of the virus . . . then post some actual photos of the H1N1 virus. But to post baby pictures of Ben Grimm -- a.k.a., The Thing -- and try to pass them off as swine-flu candid shots is just insulting to Americans' intelligence.

Yeah, they told their significant others they were working late at the laboratory. But I think they just went and gorged on hot wings and got plastered on cheap domestic beer.

Anyway, here's a snapshot of the all-grown-up Thing -- ready for "clobberin' time." Just like the flu.

Unintended art

One of the things you get to do when you're sick is let your mind wander. And just aimlessly fool around with stuff, because you don't have to accomplish anything . . . because you're sick.

So, one of the things I did while convalescing yesterday was to take a virtual drive in my Louisiana hometown, Baton Rouge, via Google Maps' "street view" function.

I WENT DOWN Government Street from my old high school to the riverfront and -- apart from being depressed at how damned dilapidated everything is . . . streets, buildings, sidewalks -- it occurred to me how the 360-degree view allows you to make "street view art."

Also, it seems to me that Google's street view could be a powerful tool for photographers to plan their architectural or cityscape shoots.

Here's a virtual photo I "took" while virtually passing by the studios of WAFB, Channel 9. I always thought the station's original tower would make a fun picture, and I was right.

MAD meets Rush meets Obamacon?

Remember the posters in the MAD magazine special issues? I wonder if they've ever thought of giving Rush Limbaugh the Obamacon treatment?

If not, here you go!

Call me . . . my rates are cheap. And really -- YECCH!

I hate Iowa Nazis

What the hell do you do when the Nazis are on your "side"?

I don't know. But here's what I do know: If you're a Catholic bishop, and the subject is same-sex marriage and all other manner of hot-button social issues, you don't run around saying things like "We are at war."

"We are at war" + the Catholic Church + Nazis co-opting your natural-law arguments = We are so screwed.

FROM THE OMAHA WORLD-HERALD:

In Pottawattamie County, 31 same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses earlier in the week, but only seven couples had picked them up as of 10:30 a.m. Thursday.

About a dozen black-shirted protesters, who described themselves as members of the National Socialist movement, stood outside the courthouse. The demonstrators chanted slogans and carried a flag with a swastika.

Police monitored the demonstrators, who late in the morning exchanged remarks with some passersby.

ONE NAZI-ETTE, crudely but somewhat correctly, told Omaha's KETV television that "Gay marriage does not secure the existence for any people. You can't procreate with homosexuality. It's genocide to the entire human race."

Well, it would be if more than 5-or-so percent of the human race were homosexuals. But what I wish the reporter had asked the Nazi chick after hearing her scientific musings, however, was whether she was sexually active and using contraceptives.

As Forrest Gump said, "I'm not a smart man." But some things are just "winning hearts and minds" no-brainers. I think the first item on that PR "to-don't list" is Catholics like Bishop Robert Finn of Kansas City-St. Joseph, Mo., rolling out the martial rhetoric when blind Nazis may have just found themselves an acorn and muddied it up with hate.

But nooooooooooo. . . .

“Harsh as this may sound, it is true — but it is not new. This war to which I refer did not begin in just the last several months, although new battles are underway — and they bring an intensity and urgency to our efforts that may rival any time in the past.”

“[It]is correct to acknowledge that you and I are warriors — members of the Church on earth — often called the Church Militant. Those who have gone ahead of us have already completed their earthly battles. Some make up the Church Triumphant — Saints in heaven who surround and support us still — tremendous allies in the battle for our eternal salvation; and the Church Suffering (souls in purgatory who depend on our prayers and meritorious works and suffrages).

“But we are the Church on Earth — The Church Militant. We are engaged in a constant warfare with Satan, with the glamour of evil, and the lure of false truths and empty promises. If we fail to realize how constantly these forces work against us, we are more likely to fall, and even chance forfeiting God’s gift of eternal life.”

YES, THE CHURCH on Earth is the Church Militant. Being that militant, in this sense, means something closer to "struggling" and, modern ears being what they are, by the end of the Second Vatican Council the preferred term had become "the Pilgrim Church."

We are not Taliban . . . though one could understand how some unchurched eyes might widen when they see what some folks have done with loose episcopal rhetoric in the never-ending quest for cash in the world of Catholic non-profits.

It should be a no-brainer for every public Catholic -- for every Catholic who professes evangelism as his business -- that the language of traditional Catholicism . . . traditional Christianity is utterly alien not only to the expanding universe of secularism, but also to many within the church. Especially the young.

And we're losing the young. Fast.

We've been fighting the "culture war" for a long time now. We've been fighting the culture war so long and so hard that we've come to justify all manner of "enhanced" methods in its prosecution. Well, except for going out and preaching the gospel of Christ crucified, buried and risen on its own terms.

Then again, it's so much easier to pretend that "gay marriage" is the enemy -- that gays are the enemy -- instead of Satan.

Listen, as even Bishop Finn himself noted above, "We are engaged in a constant warfare with Satan, with the glamour of evil, and the lure of false truths and empty promises.” That is the war we fight, and no other.

For that matter, most of that war rages in our own wicked little hearts. We shouldn't pretend otherwise.

SO WHEN WE TALK about being "at war" with gay marriage (among a host of postmodern social maladies), it just might pay to be trite and ask oneself "What Would Jesus Do?" One thing He didn't do was baptize a thrice-married ex-officeholder and send him out to kvetch about how the Roman Empire "has been the active instrument of breaking down traditional marriage."

Another thing He didn't do was hang out with the most prominent culture warriors of His day. That might be one of the reasons they had Him crucified.

So . . . am I saying we ought to be OK with same-sex marriage? No. While it's really none of my business what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own homes, it is my business when activists try to remake a millennia-old cultural and sacred institution into something it isn't.

History and my faith tradition tell me that is not going to end well. And all of us, gay and straight, have a vested interest in things "ending well."

CATHOLICS and other Christians have powerful arguments to make concerning same-sex marriage. But those arguments are worthless if we keep incinerating what we have to say in the fiery furnace of our "culture war" rhetoric.

When the most notable difference between Christians and Iowa Nazis on an issue is protesters with crosses vs. protesters with swastikas . . . Rome, we have a problem. As in, "What will the teen-agers say when they realize the Nazis on TV just said what mom, dad and Father say all the time?"

Change I could believe in

This is what I do when I'm sick with the flu and finally have gotten well enough to pull myself out of the big blue chair.

It's also what I do when I run across Obamacon.Me on the Paste magazine website.

We all want "change we can believe in." I'm just realistic enough to realize we probably won't get it at the hands of any politician -- even the president.

We just might get it if we had -- for a start -- more stuff on television like Buckskin Bill.

After all, "You're never completely dressed until you put on a smile."

Feds to City: Drop Dead (of fear)

Just to refresh your memory from the other day

I am speechless, apart from the word "unconscionable," so I'll just excerpt this story from WCBS television in New York:

CBS 2 HD has discovered the feds will have plenty to question.

Federal officials knew that sending two fighter jets and Air Force One to buzz ground zero and Lady Liberty might set off nightmarish fears of a 9/11 replay, but they still ordered the photo-op kept secret from the public.

In a memo obtained by CBS 2 HD the Federal Aviation Administration's James Johnston said the agency was aware of "the possibility of public concern regarding DOD (Department of Defense) aircraft flying at low altitudes" in an around New York City. But they demanded total secrecy from the NYPD, the Secret Service, the FBI and even the mayor's office and threatened federal sanctions if the secret got out.

ARE THERE SOME Ford Administration holdovers still at the Pentagon and the FAA?

Unconscionable.

Good night, radio.

Good night, Mr. Deejay.

Good night, Mr. Newsman.

Good night, Miss Morning Show Producer.

Good night, Mr. Program Director.

Good night, local programming.

Good night, audience.

Good night to radio, everyone.

CLEAR CHANNEL HAS wielded the budget ax again, leaving many markets with not much left in the way of local, live people on the radio. Far away, voicetracked people is another matter.

As is the corporate custom, the corporate suits are trying to spin firing 590 more people -- on top of 1,800 a few months ago -- as a good thing. Being not nearly so clever as to be in management anywhere, I just can't see it.

Anyway, here's just a small sampling of the Clear Channel carnage today:

* From Cincinnati:

Local radio sports talk became a lot quieter Tuesday.

As part of nationwide budget cuts, Clear Channel eliminated all but one local show on “Homer” WCKY-AM (1530), and dropped Enquirer sports columnist Paul Daugherty after two years hosting WLW-AM (700).

WCKY-AM canceled morning shows hosted by Alan Cutler, who was laid off, and Mo Egger, retained by Clear Channel.

The company also eliminated the jobs of sports blogger C. Trent Rosecrans, and producers Matt Steinmann, Travis Holmes and Mark Chalifoux as part the 590 positions cut nationwide Tuesday.

Only Lance McAlister will talk local sports 3-6 p.m. weekdays on WCKY-AM. He also took over “SportsTalk” Tuesday before the Reds game.

* From the Twin Cities:

Those cut were Joe Anderson, Langdon Perry, Danielle Hitchings, Chris Fisher, Lois Mae and Dan Donovan, according to a story published by MinnPost.com.

Clear Channel owns and operates seven stations in this market: KDWB-FM, KEEY-FM, KFAN-AM, KFXN-AM, KQQL-FM, KTCZ-FM and KTLK-FM.

Mike Crusham, general manager of Clear Channel’s local operations, couldn’t immediately be reached for comment.

The local cuts Tuesday were part of a broader national round of job cuts that impacted about 600 people, or 3 percent of Clear Channel’s work force, according to media reports.

In January, San Antonio-based Clear Channel (OTCBB: CCMO) cut more than two dozen other employees in the Twin Cities, including Chad Hartman, a veteran sports talk show host on KFAN.

Fisher, one of the laid-off DJs who was part of the morning team on country music station K102, wrote on his Twitter message board this afternoon a farewell to listeners.

“Got fired today. I’m gonna miss all of you listeners … thanks for everything.”

* From Detroit:

Clear Channel market manager Til Levesque wouldn't comment on specific jobs lost in Detroit, but this afternoon Edmonds' name was already gone from the Breakfast Club roster on WNIC's Web site, replaced by O'Neill's name.

Also gone is Chad Mitchell from The Chad Show, which airs mornings on Clear Channel's country station "The Fox," WDTW-FM (106.7). Mitchell was told he was being let go immediately after his show went off the air this morning. . . .

Also cut is update reporter Rob Otto from sports talk station The Fan, WDFN-AM (1130). Otto also did the Pistons pre- and post-game reportage. On his Facebook page, Otto commented: "Well, the rumors are out there, so I guess I'll confirm it. I was indeed fired from WDFN today. Unlike my former co-workers, who were blindsided a couple months ago, I had a feeling this was coming. I wish the few remaining members of the staff there nothing but the best, and look forward to whatever it is that life has waiting for me."

*From Memphis:

Long time Memphis radio personality Mike Fleming was laid off Tuesday. Fleming hosted the Mike Fleming Show weekday afternoons on AM600 WREC.

Before 600 WREC he worked at the Nashville Banner, The Jacksonville, FL Journal and the Commercial Appeal.

He also worked in television news and talk radio covering a variety of events, news and sports stories, such as Super Bowls, the PGA Tour, SEC, Memphis' NFL drive, and a news story in which he was asked to negotiate for prisoners during a jail visit.

*From Wichita:

One of the more public personalities laid off today was Kathy Deane, who has been producing the top-rated “Brett and Tracy Morning Show” on B-98 for more than two years.

“We were, like, knocking it out of the park,” Deane says. “That’s what I really don’t get.”
Morning host Brett Harris, who hired Deane, agrees. He’s put a call into corporate to see if he can pay Deane out of his own pocket to produce the show off site.

“When it happens to someone who’s part of your inner circle of success . . . who you brought into the industry, you feel some accountability,” Harris says.

Deane, who says she was in shock this morning after being escorted to her car, didn’t even hear Harris make the offer.

“Wow,” she says. “That’s showing me some love, isn’t it?”

*From Denver:

A reliable source reveals that 23 part-time or fulltime employees at Clear Channel Denver were laid off today as part of the San Antonio-based firm's second series of cuts this year. (The number is confirmed by KOA Morning News host Steffan Tubbs on his Twitter feed.) Many of those impacted worked in off-air capacities such as accounting, but a handful of on-air personalities reportedly received pink slips. The biggest name: The G-Man, a staple of the Rick Lewis-Michael Floorwax morning show on The Fox for nineteen years.

THAT'S THE CARNAGE from just a few scattered markets across the country. And, as I mentioned, that's not counting the much larger layoff in January.

Oh, did I mention there are lots of other radio conglomerates that also overpaid for scads of stations on their way to "mega" status, and which are in much worse financial shape than Cheap Channel? Even if economic times were flush, no station can make enough money to service that kind of debt load.

The story of radio is the little story that tells the big story of Corporate America Hits the Skids. This story probably won't have a happy ending, and -- either sooner or later -- none of us will live happily ever after.

At least according to the prevailing definition of "happily ever after."

The talented individuals who used to work in radio are suffering now. But as we hollow out all of our virtual town squares and cultural commons in postmodern America, it's our society itself that ultimately be impoverished.

WE'RE SO DIVIDED now as a people . . . we have so little in common anymore. We all live in our own little individual or "clan" compounds today, walled off from common cause with those unlike ourselves by an impenetrable wall of electrons.

Maybe Facebook and Twitter will find a way for us to engineer a breakout. Maybe they'll put more guards on the parapets -- I don't know.

But I know we're isolated and alienated today, and I know all the Clear Channels of the world aren't helping matters as they continue to divorce actual humans from the means of social communications.

It used to be so different. I'm 48 now; I remember when it was. I remember when there was magic in the airwaves.

I remember when everybody at least knew a little about a lot of things, and a lot of people. I think that was a very good thing.

THERE STILL are a few outposts where radio still sounds like your neighbors, and where the cultural commons is still kept weeded, the grass still gets mowed and the park benches still get painted. So to speak.

I thought you might like to see what that looks like . . . while you still can. Introducing WLNG in Sag Harbor, N.Y.

RECENTLY, the station's longtime general manager, Paul Sidney, died of cancer at 69. He had been at the station since 1964.

He was born in Brooklyn. He died as Mr. Hamptons, and a region mourned, as this Newsday opinion piece demonstrates:

When Paul Sidney's microphone fell silent the day he died, April 2, eastern Long Island lost not just a radio legend, but a big part of the glue that has kept our community together.

The fast-talking Sidney came to WLNG (92.1 FM) in 1964, when the station in Sag Harbor was a year old. He started a format of oldies, jingles and local shows - a corny, hometown, live-and-local format. Today it's the last remaining station of its kind on Long Island.

Sidney and his radio team kept the jingles, reverb and "chime-time" bell of the 1960s top-40 format that most other stations long since abandoned. The most popular show is "Swap and Shop," where people call in to sell items.

There's also "Pet Patrol," for lost pets, and "Christmas Cards of the Airwaves." Sidney would sit there all day while listeners called in to say what they had gotten for Christmas and what they were having for dinner.

"It's radio the way it used to be," the jingle says. And, "WLNG - the place to be - since '63."

In the age of instant messaging, Facebook friends and online dating, it is hard to imagine the day-to-day intimacy of hearing Paul Sidney talking to you and your colleagues, and seeing him at his live remotes from events and stores all over town. "I do 250 remotes a year," he once told Newsday.

His gravelly voice was not polished or sophisticated, and he spouted out questions to people he interviewed live on location. "Here's the deal . . . " he was famous for saying as he explained what he wanted from a guest. When he referred to the Hamptons, he would say, "God's country."

He was 69 when he died, after 45 years at the station, during which he stood always behind his radio philosophy - "It's what's between the music that counts."

IT IS WHAT'S between the music that counts. And nobody ever mourned a hard drive when it died.

Likewise, I don't think any of us will mourn Clear Channel's version of radio when it finally is dispatched to that Great Bulk Eraser in the Sky.

How to trigger an entire city's PTSD

Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.