A wee hint about the Big Show

Just a hint for you in advance of this week's edition of 3 Chords & the Truth: This video has something to do with the show.

Joan Rivers isn't it.

Tune in in about 21 hours . . . or so.

It ain't easy being bold in a timid age

I didn't discover The Bryant Park Project on National Public Radio until it already was a dead show broadcasting.

My loss.

The BPP was envisioned by NPR as an experiment in how "old media" might transition into a "new media" landscape, and that experimentation resulted in a multimedia effort that spanned terrestrial and satellite radio, podcasting, blogging, a web portal and "social networking" sites like Facebook and Twitter.

As well, The Bryant Park Project was set up so its listeners -- and readers -- could pay attention to that man (and that woman) behind the curtain. They pulled back the drapes to show us the folks twiddling the knobs and levers, and we liked who we saw.

AND IF YOU go by what people say instead of what they do, so did the NPR brass. From a blog post by NPR interim CEO Dennis Haarsager:

First, let me wholeheartedly agree with your high praise for the BPP staff. They are a team of smart, creative journalists who have delivered compelling programming every day. I want to specifically mention Alison Stewart, one of the finest hosts in broadcasting today; executive producer Sharon Hoffman; and senior supervising producer Matt Martinez. They are some of the most talented people I have ever encountered in broadcasting and they have done a great job of presenting news in a different way and in building loyalty among all of you in a short period of time. They have my gratitude and the respect of this entire organization.

BUT. . . . (And you knew there was a "but" in there, didn't you?)

BPP was designed to help us explore the complex, undefined digital media environment and, we hoped, to establish new ways of providing content on unfamiliar platforms. We've/I've learned -- or relearned -- a lot in this process. For non-commercial media such as NPR, sustaining a new program of this financial magnitude requires attracting users from each of the platforms we can access. Ultimately, we recognized that wasn't happening with BPP. Radio carriage didn't materialize to any degree: right now, BPP airs on only five analog radio stations and 19 HD Radio digital channels. Web/podcasting usage was also hampered -- here's the relearning part -- since we were offering an "appointment program" in a medium that doesn't excel in that kind of usage. Web radio is growing very rapidly (much faster than FM did), but it's almost all to music and, increasingly, to attention-tracking music (e.g., Pandora). While there might be a viable audience for a day/time specific program on the Web at some point in the future, it is not on the horizon.

PARDON MON FRANÇAIS, MAIS . . . that's the biggest load of fork-tongued bullsh*t I've heard since leaving the peculiar world of Catholic radio.

In public radio, the fragrant load goes something like "blah blah blah . . . serve the public interest . . . blah blah blah . . . programming not available over the commercial airwaves . . . blah blah blah . . . new and exciting modes of communication . . . blah blah blah . . . reach out to diverse audiences." Rinse. Spin. Repeat.

In my experience inside Catholic radio -- and I would suspect this holds true for 80 percent of any broadcasting done in Jesus' name -- take public radio's fragrant load and substitute bromides such as "serve the Lord Jesus . . . inspirational and catechetical . . . uplifting . . . reaching out to spread the Good News to every soul." Genuflect. Cross yourself. Repeat.

That is why it's such a good policy to ignore what people say and, instead, watch what they do.

Then you're not so shocked and disappointed when public radio, by and large, sounds like the only listener who matters is 60ish, lives in a big house on a private lake and has two college-age children . . . Muffy and Skipper. Or when an "experiment," like The Bryant Park Project, gets aborted before it has run long enough to gather meaningful data or refine any techniques for committing "broadcasting" in a New Media world.

LIKEWISE, "do -- not say" lessens any disillusionment with Christianity per se when one figures out its on-air apostles often are less interested in the gospel of Jesus Christ (and in being an effective witness to all) than in serving up something deemed acceptable to those most likely to pay handsomely for the service.

Why do you think so much of Christian media sounds like what Revelation says Jesus would spit out?

13
'"Whoever has ears ought to hear what the Spirit says to the churches."'
14
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea, write this: "'The Amen, the faithful and true witness, the source of God's creation, says this:
15
"I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot.
16
So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.

THE GREAT IRONY of our time? That it's so damned difficult to be bold during a stretch of history when boldness is a necessity, not just one of many viable options.

Let me amend that slightly. Make that "intelligently bold during a stretch of history . . ." yadda yadda yadda. See, it's always been easy (and lucrative) to be boldly stupid . . . or boldly lewd . . . or boldly and stupidly lewd . . . or, for that matter, lewdly and boldly stupid.

I know it was difficult to be bold in Catholic radio -- at least in the corner I once inhabited, where holiness somehow got confused with bad music, boring lectures and a timid spirit.

For instance, I fell into producing a program of "contemporary" music aimed at young people. I say "fell," but the reality was more "jump" into producing the show because -- to be blunt -- it was awful (and deeply stupid), and I knew it could be so much more.

And as I started to approach the land of "More," I started to hear a refrain that would be oft repeated: "Catholic radio's not ready for that yet."

You'd think it was 1960, and I was trying to integrate a Southern lunch counter.

AT ONE POINT during my tenure as producer, the general manager and I sat down for a weekly production meeting. The three teen hosts were having commitment problems -- in short, they didn't "commit" to showing up every week to tape the show. I wanted to fire them and get hosts who took the job seriously.

The GM thought it would be easier just to kill the show.

I told her I thought the show was an important outreach to youth. If canceling there must be, cancel the present hosts -- not the show. The show, I added, had potential. Maybe . . . someday . . . it could be syndicated.

Then came the moment when I almost walked out the door . . . and down the road . . . all the way home. For good.

The boss admitted youth programming wasn't "a priority" at that time, and that she didn't want me spending so much time putting the show together. She was starting a daily series of five-minute reflections by local priests, and she wanted me to concentrate on things like that.

Bleeah.

OK, it was time to lay it on the line.

I told her I was seriously worn out and burned out by long hours and unending technical crises. That little youth show was the only thing keeping me engaged at the moment. It was important. It had potential.

She repeated the youth show wasn't a priority and that people wanted to hear their priests on the air. Besides, she added, "Youth don't contribute to the station."

Monetarily.

UNTIL THAT MOMENT, I always had thought the expression "seeing red" was just that -- an expression. Then I did.

It took every bit of strength to control myself. I almost bit a hole in my tongue to keep from calling the GM a g**damn Pharisee and quitting.

Instead, I repeated that youth programming was important. I emphasized that all the production work was getting done, despite the time I spent on that particular program. The rest of the day I stewed. I couldn't believe what I had just heard.

The next day, the development guy and I were talking about youth programming. I told him what the boss said about kids "not contributing" to our little Catholic FM station.

This guy was the best money hustler I'd ever seen, and his jaw dropped. Literally. His expression was one of total shock.

"If youth programming isn't a priority, what is?" he asked. "That's the future."

Exactly.

BUT THAT'S what radio is all about today. That's what America is all about today -- grab a buck today, screw the future. Suck up to them what have . . . screw them what don't.

And if financial exigencies of the moment mean that devout keepers of the Catholic airwaves stand ready to cut back on Christian witness to the young -- to a community's own children -- why should we be taken aback that a bunch of public-radio bureaucrats would sacrifice a medium's future to save pocket change today?

After all, it's just radio. However important radio might be, it doesn't rank up there with eternal life. And some folks have decided even that is just another budget item.

So if it's easy enough for a Catholic-radio general manager to think it more expedient to ax -- rather than improve -- a youth program with no budget to speak of, how easy must it be for a public-radio suit to kill an "experiment" that fans loved but NPR failed to "sell" to enough affiliates?

And what of the future?

Well, "after all, tomorrow is another day!" Until it's not.

Gutting ghosts in New Orleans

So far, here's what the American taxpayer -- and the long-suffering citizenry of New Orleans -- have gotten for the billions upon billions of dollars sent to rebuild that woebegone city in the wake of Katrina:

WAIT. That's not entirely fair.

The Louisiana Superdome did get fixed. And lots of homeless homeowners did get FEMA trailers reeking of carcinogenic formaldehyde.

Some people did get rebuilding money through the "Road Home" program . . . but only after first going through the ringer and then waiting a couple of years.

Oh . . . and some levees got rebuilt to prestorm standards. That means they leak, and they'll probably crumble in the teeth of a strong Category 2 hurricane. It also means that defective, washed-away floodwalls got rebuilt just as defectively, with contractors using newspaper for filler in expansion joints.

AND HERE'S WHAT we got in return for millions of federal "home remediation" dollars, according to a report by Lee Zurik of WWL television:

Using city and federal money, the New Orleans Affordable Homeownership program alleges to have gutted, boarded up and even cut grass in more than 1,000 homes.

“I would unequivocally say that's a false statement. There was no help,” said homeowner Mera Picou.

“I think somebody's lining their pockets,” added Garofalo.

In 2007, Mayor Ray Nagin urged low income and elderly New Orleans residents to sign up for his home remediation program, a $3.5 million program run by New Orleans Affordable Homeownership, a non-profit group that is actually a city agency.

A City Hall press release from last year says the remediation program uses "Community Development Block Grant funds to gut and board up to 5,000 homes of seniors and families with low to moderate income by year end 2007."

But did the program accomplish its goals?

Community activist and internet blogger Karen Gadbois started following New Orleans Affordable Home Ownership’s program shortly after its inception.

“The program may not be legitimate,” she said. “I wanted to see this program work, and I didn't see it.”

Eyewitness News joined Gadbois in reviewing pages of material provided by the non-profit agency, that details every property it claims to have remediated. One document even lists the cost. Gadbois calls the information we found startling.

For example, city records show some duplexes in Hollygrove are owned by a man who lives on Carrollton Avenue and used to rent them out. Under the plan's guidelines, that alone would likely disqualify him. But the units haven't even been gutted since the storm. NOAH still says its contractors did $5,000 worth of work to them.

On Jeannette Street, NOAH says it remediated a home in the 8900 block. When WWL-TV went to find the house, a news crew found an empty lot instead. A neighbor said the house had been torn down well before Hurricane Katrina.

NOAH documents also show a house remediated at 8741 Apple Street, a property that doesn't exist. Also on the NOAH list is a house on Willow Street owned by Orleans Metropolitan Housing and Community Development, a charity connected to indicted Rep. William Jefferson and his brother Mose, who is also facing federal charges.

Eyewitness News also found a property on General Pershing Street in one set of records. It is owned by Clourth Wilson, who happens to work for the City of New Orleans Safety and Permits Department.

When reached by phone at his City Hall office, Wilson told WWL-TV that New Orleans Affordable Homeownerhip did no work following the storm to his house. He said all of the gutting and boarding up was done by him.

On the West bank, NOAH claims to have done almost $1,700 of remediation to a property at 1301 Brooklyn Avenue. It's unclear if that property is an empty lot in that block or the warehouse behind it, which belongs to Mardi Gras World.

“I don't think those agencies or individuals or people were applying for free gutting,” Karen Gadbois said.

The owner of a home on Law Street said she didn't apply for help and NOAH didn't do remediation work, even though a NOAH sign recently popped up on the house, almost 12 months after the program shut down.

Gadbois said of the more than 100 properties she has reviewed, only two seemed to show signs of actual repair by NOAH.

So where did the money go? And why do the non-profit’s own records raise so many questions?

NOAH’s executive director left the agency in late June. Her interim replacement, Tonya Durden, e-mailed Eyewitness News on Friday, declining a request for an interview.

YOU REALLY NEED to see the video report on the WWL website. A picture really is worth a thousand words, and that report easily is worth a whole book.

As a nation questioned why New Orleans ought to be rebuilt at all -- for reasons ranging, basically, from sheer racism to sheer misanthropy -- it likewise fully realized that you just can't, in this day and age, come right out and admit that you're merely a bunch of hard-hearted bastards. No, you need something to justify kicking a region while it's down.

Unfortunately for Louisiana and New Orleans, their reputations preceded them. A blind man rattling a tin cup on a street corner ain't going to do much bidness if he's pullin' on a bottle of muscatel.

Despite all the flak . . . despite all the catcalls from Main Street and from Capitol Hill . . . despite the fact that what help it's gotten so far isn't nearly enough, what does the Crescent City do with what little cash that's dripped from the federal pipeline?

THIS JUST IN from our intrepid correspondent:

Down in New Orlean, where ev'rything is fine
All them cats is drinkin that wine
Drinking that mess, their delight
When they gets drunk, start singing all night

Drinkin' wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Pass that bottle to me

Drinking that mess, their delight
When they gets drunk, start fighting all night
Knocking down windows and tearin out doors
Drinkin' half a gallon and callin' for more

Drinkin' wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Wine spo-dee-O-dee, drinkin' wine (bop ba)
Pass that bottle to me

Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!
Wine, wine, wine (Elderberry!)
Wine, wine, wine (Or Sherry!)
Wine, wine, wine (Blackberry!)
Wine, wine, wine (Half 'n half!)
Wine, wine, wine (Oh Boy!)
Pass that bottle to me

COME TO THINK OF IT, pass that bottle to me.

What IS it about pols named Edwards?

Well, we know who the Democratic vice-presidential nominee won't be.

That would be John Edwards. Or, rather won't be John Edwards.

LAST YEAR, during the failed presidential run by the former senator from North Carolina, the National Enquirer came out with a story that he had been keeping coital company with a blonde divorcée, and had the love child to prove it. This while his wife of 30 years and mother of his children, Elizabeth, battled incurable metastatic breast cancer.

In December, everybody denied everything. Except for an old Edwards pal who -- wink wink, nudge nudge -- stepped up to the plate to humiliate his own wife and kids by telling the onlooking worldwide press that HE was Mr. Goodbar.

The story died down, Edwards eventually dropped out of the Democratic race, and everybody lost interest. Except for the ex-senator with the incurably ill wife, the blonde who . . . well, whatever . . . and the National Enquirer, whose reporters kept working their sources.

And then the scandal sheet got a tip:

Vice Presidential candidate Sen. John Edwards was caught visiting his mistress and secret love child at 2:40 this morning in a Los Angeles hotel by the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

The married ex-senator from North Carolina - whose wife Elizabeth continues to battle cancer -- met with his mistress, blonde divorcée Rielle Hunter, at the Beverly Hilton on Monday night, July 21 - and the NATIONAL ENQUIRER was there! He didn't leave until early the next morning.

Rielle had driven to Los Angeles from Santa Barbara with a male friend for the rendezvous with Edwards. The former senator attended a press event Monday afternoon with L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa on the topic of how to combat homelessness.

(snip)

At 9:45 p.m. (PST) Monday, Edwards appeared at the hotel, and was dropped off at a side entrance. NATIONAL ENQUIRER reporter Alan Butterfield witnessed the ex-senator get out of a BMW driven by a male companion and stroll into the hotel.

Said Butterfield: "Edwards was not carrying anything. He walked in alone. He was wearing a blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was looking around nervously before he entered the hotel.

"Once inside, he interestingly bypassed the lobby and ducked down a side stairs to go to the bottom floor to catch the elevator up - rather than taking the elevator in the main lobby. He went out of his way not to be seen."

Meanwhile, Rielle had reserved rooms 246 and 252 under the name of the friend who had accompanied her from Santa Barbara, Bob McGovern. Rielle was in one room and McGovern was in another with her baby. This allowed her and Edwards to spend time alone, a source revealed.

Edwards went out of the hotel briefly with Rielle, they were observed by the NATIONAL ENQUIRER and then went back to her room, where he stayed until attempting to sneak out of the hotel unseen at 2:40 a.m. (PST). But when he emerged alone from an elevator into the hotel basement he was greeted by several reporters from the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

Senior NATIONAL ENQUIRER Reporter Alexander Hitchen asked Edwards why he was visiting Rielle and whether he was ready to confirm that he was the father of her baby.

SPENDING FIVE HOURS -- largely out of sight -- at an L.A. hotel where the woman he was accused of messing around with has a room. Trying his damnedest not to be seen coming and going. Going downstairs to catch an elevator upstairs.

If you're John Edwards, this doesn't look good.

If you're the National Enquirer . . . BINGO!

If you're Elizabeth Edwards, doesn't life suck enough already?

And what is it with politicians named Edwards?

ANYWAY, the Enquirer story gets better. A lot better. Let's return to the Beverly Hilton for just a little bit:

Shocked to see a reporter, and without saying anything, Edwards ran up the stairs leading from the hotel basement to the lobby. But, spotting a photographer, he doubled back into the basement. As he emerged from the stairwell, reporter Butterfield questioned him about his hookup with Rielle.

Edwards did not answer and then ran into a nearby restroom. He stayed inside for about 15 minutes, refusing to answer questions from the NATIONAL ENQUIRER about what he was doing in the hotel. A group of hotel security men eventually escorted him from the men's room, while preventing the NATIONAL ENQUIRER reporters from following him out of the hotel.

Said reporter Hitchen: "After we confronted him about seeing Rielle, Edwards looked like a deer caught in headlights!

"He was clearly surprised that we had caught him at this very late hour inside the hotel.

"Some guests up at this late hour watched the spectacle in amusement from a staircase nearby."

AS DO WE. As do we.

It can get messy as a great empire runs out of gas and begins the long coast toward an ignoble resting place on history's shoulder, with a reflective sign in the rear window entreating passersby to SEND HELP!

On the other hand, orderly and topped off isn't amusing in the least. Unless you're a politician's wife fighting cancer and raising kids . . . while your hubby's out raising Cain and sowing seed.

Why it's important to smart-ass-test ads

Stung by bad street and slow adoption of Windows Vista, Microsoft is getting ready to launch a "fight back" ad campaign, says ZD Net.

If this is going to be the overall message of Microsoft’s much-vaunted new $300 million ad campaign, it might be money well spent. According to the folks at LiveSide, the first ads in the new campaign were previewed at Microsoft’s employees-only Global Exchange conference last week to rave reviews. As Tim Anderson astutely noted the other day, “Vista is now actually better than its reputation. That’s a marketing issue.” Microsoft’s biggest challenge is to get would-be customers to set aside whatever preconceptions they have and listen to its pitch for Vista. Aligning its most vocal Vista critics with the Flat Earth Society is a clever way to get people’s attention.

But the bigger job, that of actually changing people’s minds, will be easier said than done. Apple has largely defined Vista’s public image so far with its devastating “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” ads. Responding directly to those ads is a losing tactic. Largely thanks to John Hodgman, the humor bar is set extraordinarily high. Any kind of response ad would legitimize the claims in those Apple ads and run the significant risk of being seen as lame and uncool.

And there’s no sign that anyone in Redmond is going to go down that road. Instead, clicking the link on the “World is flat” add leads to a page headlined, “Windows Vista: Look how far we’ve come.”

ON THE OTHER HAND, shouldn't a "fight back" ad NOT be this damned easy to parody:


I MEAN, really. The concept of the spoof took about . . . ooooohhhhhhh . . . three seconds. All the rest was dinking with the freeware Paint.NET program.


HAT TIP: NE Creative blog.

A question for my hometown

What the hell is the matter with Baton Rouge?

Really, my hometown resembles some ramshackle Caribbean refuge for exiled Latin American dictators and fugitive American money launderers. It's gotten so that the wife and I have coined a term for the creeping shabbiness we note with each successive visit -- "Port-au-Princification."

OH, SURE, downtown is looking better. And so are all the areas where the rich have fled . . . away from all the areas that I knew as a child and young adult. Some day, we'll come back to town to see my mother, and we won't be shocked at all to see Toyota pickup trucks full of hired guns patrolling the "nice areas" to keep the riffraff out.

And everywhere else will look like . . . Haiti.

Baton Rouge is well on the way to becoming the world's only ghost-town capital city. If Colleen Kane, keeper of the Abandoned Baton Rouge blog, so chose, I'll bet she could make a lifelong career of documenting Red Stick's civic dishabille.

Why am I pretty certain she won't?

MISS KANE'S BLOG is a public service, week by week making it impossible for a city to ignore how others see it. Although I'll bet most Baton Rougeans who surf in haven't thought enough to get past viewing Abandoned Baton Rouge as the architectural version of a carnival sideshow.

They don't get that they're the freaks.

Holy crap.

Another weekend in paradise

From the Omaha World-Herald:

Golf ball-size hail took care of the golf tournament scheduled for Sunday morning in Schuyler, Neb., but that was the least of the worries for residents of that city.

A barrage of hail that hit around 10 a.m. and lasted for at least five minutes battered crops, broke windows, dented vehicles and caused "millions" of dollars in damage, according to a Schuyler insurance agent.

"We got hit big-time," said Steve Bailey of Folda & Co. in Schuyler.

"I was born and raised here, and this is the worst I have ever seen," Bailey said. "I couldn't even begin to estimate the damage, but it has to be in the millions. Car dealerships, government buildings, school buildings, crop damage . . . ."

Hail was reported from two miles north of Schuyler through town, said Becky Griffis, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Valley. Hail one inch in diameter was reported in Crawford, Neb., but no major damage had been reported there.

Bailey said he was attending services in St. Augustine Catholic Church when the hail began to pound on the roof and sides of the building.

"I didn't want to look out," Bailey said. "When I opened the door to my car, the front seat had hail on it. I couldn't figure it out until I saw the rear window was broken in and the back seat was covered with hail."

Bailey drove to the viaduct over State Highway 15, gazed down 10th Street toward town and said it looked "like a January ice storm had just hit."

"I really feel for the people in our area," Bailey said, noting that the May 30 flooding of Shell Creek had caused previous damage to the town and farmers.

"Now they get back on their feet, and this came."

FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, about Iowa's fun start to the workweek:

Thunderstorms battered Iowa with winds as high as 100 mph early Monday, knocking down trees and power lines and blacking out more than 200,000 homes and businesses across much of the state.

No injuries were reported, and there were only a few reports of structural damage, including a roof torn off a small building at the state prison for women in Mitchellville near Des Moines.

The storms didn't produce a lot of rain, but a wind speed of 100 mph was reported at Dawson, a town of about 150 people 30 miles northwest of Des Moines, the National Weather Service said.

About 177,000 customers of MidAmerican Energy lost power from Sioux City on the state's western edge to the Davenport area on the east. Iowa's other large utility company, Alliant Energy, reported 31,000 customers without power.

"It started about midnight in Sioux City. One of the unique things about this storm was that it never really broke up. It just moved across our entire service territory," said Ann Thelen, spokeswoman for MidAmerican Energy.

Thelen said the major problem was "an enormous number" of trees on power lines. It could take three days to restore power to some areas, she said.

OK, THAT'S IT. It's you and us, God. It's time for a showdown!

Six of the 'TV Lady,' a half-dozen of Michelle

I always know when Michelle Malkin goes on a toot about New Orleans. There's always a spike in traffic for this December post of mine.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the traffic. And the subject of that 2007 post, New Orleans' "TV Lady" -- the racist, rabblerousing public-housing queen who now occupies a subsidized apartment nicer than my house and who watches her stories on a 60-inch high-def television -- remains a living, breathing affront to basic decency.

HOWEVER.

I'm damned sick and tired of self-righteous, hard-hearted "conservatives" rolling out the bad example of the "TV Lady" (and, by extension, my blog post about her) to justify inaction -- or worse -- in the face of a national scandal. That national scandal, which centers on New Orleans, is threefold.

First, it's scandalous -- and criminal -- that the wealthiest, most powerful nation on earth can't adequately build or maintain levees sufficient to protect a vital coastal port city. Or Midwestern river cities . . . or hundreds of thousands of acres of the U.S. corn and soybean crops.

Second, it's scandalous -- and criminal -- that more than 1,500 people died because the government of the United States of America is comprised, in large part, of incompetent hacks and political cronies who couldn't organize a one-car funeral cortege, much less a massive relief and rebuilding effort in New Orleans and across the central Gulf Coast.

IN A LAND of McMansions and SUVs -- governed by neoconservative nincompoops who think we have the right and the wherewithal to spend nearly a trillion dollars on the fool's errand that is Iraq -- fat and self-satisfied Americans three years ago were treated to the ultimate reality-TV program. Millions watched as thousands suffered and scores died . . . on camera . . . because Machiavellian blame-gaming was so much more a priority than was saving lives.

That the vast majority of those anguished faces belonged to African-Americans added insult to injury.

And finally, it's scandalous -- and criminal -- that a nation of such outlandish wealth would, before Katrina ever struck, tolerate the existence of a Third World enclave in its midst.

Asked two millennia ago to cut to the chase of what the Father would have us mortals do amid this vail of tears, His own Son -- the second person of the triune Godhead -- boiled it down to two simple things (Matthew 22:34-39):

34
When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together,
35
and one of them [a scholar of the law] tested him by asking,
36
"Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?"
37
He said to him, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
38
This is the greatest and the first commandment.
39
The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

IT HAS BEEN SAID the opposite of love is not (as one might think) hate, but instead indifference. If that is so, and if massive indifference is the best America can offer a hardscrabble, basket-case city such as New Orleans -- one which America, through its incompetent government and lousy federal levees, bears the responsibilty for drowning -- where does that leave us?

We're antichrist. Not the Antichrist, an antichrist. But why split hairs?

That's not something we can face, however. No, far better for people like Michelle Malkin and the whole "F*** New Orleans Brigade" to justify their antichrist indifference by rolling out pathetic spectacles like the "TV Lady" to represent the city when a "defaulting deadbeat Dem" visits and expresses concern over its plight:

Someone send a clue to the New Orleans Times-Picayune! They missed the story. They missed the delicious spectacle of defaulting deadbeat Democrat Laura Richardson–she who lives sky high on the hog, leaving a trail of unpaid bills in her wake– parachuting into New Orleans and clucking about the plight of its people.

Rich, just rich. . . .

(snip)

Wonder if she’ll stop by 60-inch-tv-owning New Orleans “slum”-dweller Sharon Jasper’s place. I have a feeling these two would get along.

I'LL KEEP that example in mind if Michelle stubs her big toe and noted war criminal George W. Bush sends his condolences.

That ought to be reason enough to denounce her as a misanthropic, fascist harridan . . . before we haul out a rusty broadax to chop off her leg.

I guess I goofed, huh, Mr. President?

Mr. Prime Minister, we were deeply moved when 12 million of your citizens went to the polls last December. It was really a remarkable statement, wasn't it? Twelve million citizens, who at one time had lived under the thumb of a brutal tyrant, went to the polls and said, we want to be free. And out of that election, Mr. Prime Minister, you and your government have emerged.

We respect the fact that your government represents the will of the Iraqi people. One thing the Prime Minister told me getting out of the limousine, after having flown on the helicopter -- (laughter) -- was that he longs for the day when the Iraqi children can live in a hopeful society. That's what he wants. He wants the Iraqi people to enjoy the benefits that most people in other countries enjoy. It is a simple concept in many ways, yet is profound, because my reaction upon hearing his words was, this man will succeed if he cares first and foremost about the people and the condition of the Iraqi people. If he's the kind of leader like I know he is, who cares about generations of Iraqis to come, he will be successful.

-- President George Bush,
July 26, 2006

"This is not a simple process of passing the baton," the official said, adding, "This is not the United States and Iraq struggling for control of the steering wheel. This is the United States wanting Iraq to be firmly with the steering wheel in its hand, and the issue is, how do we get there as quickly as possible."

(snip)

Today, both men tried to tamp down any suggestion that the relationship was strained. Mr. Bush said yet again that he has confidence in the Iraqi prime minister.

"I've been able to watch a leader emerge," the president said, describing the threats Mr. Maliki said he had received since becoming prime minister, including shells being fired at his house.

The president added, "You can't lead unless you've got courage. He's got courage and he's shown courage over the last six months."

-- New York Times
Nov. 30, 2006

"Prime Minister Maliki's a good guy, a good man with a difficult job, and I support him," Mr. Bush told veterans in Kansas City, Mo. "And it's not up to the politicians in Washington, D.C. to say whether he will remain in his position. It is up to the Iraqi people who now live in a democracy and not a dictatorship."

-- National Public Radio,
Aug. 22, 2007

Oops.

-- White House press office,
July 19, 2008

Let's play Omaha Storm Slam!

It's summer in Nebraska . . . and the spring storm season never left.

What's a body out here on the Plains to do?

I'M GLAD you asked! It's time to play the Midwest's newest and craziest TV game show . . . it's time to play Omaha Storm Slam!

Here's how we play: Keep a close eye on the Channel 7 live radar (click on the picture above). Soon enough, you'll see a line of storms approach the Omaha metro area.

Now, when the big bright-red, severe thunderstorm cells hit the Omaha city limits, everybody yells "Storm slam!" and chugs a PBR. When a contestant gets sick or becomes too intoxicated to enunciate "Storm slam!", that person is eliminated.

And the last contestant standing wins the game!

First prize is dragging all of your falling-down drunk opponents to the basement when the tornado siren sounds. Now, let's play Omaha Storm Slam!

In color.

3 Chords & the Truth: Down a country road

This week on 3 Chords & the Truth, we're going to be thumbing our way down that folk highway, and then take a side trip down a country road.

Either way you go, you'll find some of the greatest music America -- and the world -- ever has produced.

FOR ME, country music wasn't an instant-gratification kind of thing. Growing up in the Deep South in the 1960s and '70s, it was, to a large extent, the background music of my young life, but it wasn't my background music of choice. That would have been The Who, the Beatles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Billy Preston, the Meters, Irma Thomas and Al Green.

And even the Carpenters . . . and (ahem) the Partridge Family.

Country music was the background music of my life in the sense that I couldn't avoid it. It was the music the Old Man listened to on the radio -- and you moved the AM dial away from WYNK, WSLG or WLBI at substantial risk to life and limb.

Same deal with the Porter Wagoner Show on television every Saturday afternoon.

I yearned for "that g**damn hippie music," as the Old Man referred to my generation's soundtrack. But I also ended up knowing the likes of Jim Reeves, Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, George Jones and "pretty Miss Norma Jean." One of my favorites -- albeit something of an ambivalent favorite -- was "Country" Charley Pride.

And if you don't know that it's C-H-A-R-L-E-Y instead of C-H-A-R-L-I-E, you're a damn pretender, son.

BACK THEN, however, there were two sides to life: yours . . . and your parents'. The existential question of one's young existence -- Which side are you on? -- required exactly no thought.

Whatsoever.

It's a funny thing. Though the question was simple, all kinds of stuff got mixed up in it that really had no business there. The Beatles vs. Porter Wagoner is not a fundamental question of good and evil.

"It's a big world out there," we young'uns constantly told ourselves. Our actions and our prejudices, however, betrayed our lack of believe in our own party line.

In fact, while "Which side are you on?" was -- and is -- the central question in any of our lives, we stupidly applied it to all the wrong areas. And not at all to the Right Area.

Then again, neither did our parents, by and large.

It is possible, and even quite healthy, to like both the Sex Pistols and Ernest Tubb. It's likewise possible to associate with, and even like, both Democrats and Republicans. Squares and hippies both have their virtues . . . and their vices.

The world is big. It's our hearts and minds that tend to be small.

Too small, as a matter of fact, to apprehend exactly how cosmically huge a question is "Which side are you on?"

THAT, IN A NUTSHELL, is what the Big Show happens to be about this week. 3 Chords & the Truth: It's the show where we ask the big questions and where, this week, we're playing all four kinds of music.

Rock . . . and roll. Not to mention country . . . and western.

Be there. Aloha.

Their 2 cents worth

When you start to thinking there's really no hope for New Orleans -- ruined by the Federal Flood, ruined before that by its own dysfunction, ruined forever by grafters and bad schools and bad will between black and white -- you stumble upon a little ray of sunshine cutting through the thick canopy of detritus.

Improbably, you almost ignore the light because you are so in wonder that a layer of dead vegetation, dead people, dead hopes and dead dreams can stay suspended above you -- a defunct version of a once vibrant, verdant ecosystem. But there it is.

A confounding light. A ray of hope. A beacon of excellence amid a world of failure.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE some first-rate guerrilla media from a bunch of kids who refuse to give up on their city, go here. If a once-great city is to be reborn and reformed, it's not going to be at the hands of its politicians . . . or those relics from Washington.

If New Orleans -- if Louisiana -- one day rises out of the muck of fatalism and apathy, it'll be because some young people were too clueless to know it was all a hopeless case, and that they oughtn't have wasted their time trying.

We've seen fire, and we've seen rain

God ain't through acting yet.

I refer not to "acting" in the dramatic sense -- though our recent weather certainly has been that -- but instead in the legal sense. For example, when lightning hits your house and burns the sucker to the ground, it's an "act of God."

Or when a hailstorm comes and busts your windows and beats your crops to a tangled mess, that's an "act of God." And when the big wind comes to lay flat the corn, soybeans and backyard-garden tomatoes, that too is an "act of God."

FOR SOME FARMERS in eastern Nebraska and Iowa -- the ones who've had their corn and beans pummeled, then blown flat . . . and then had what was left pummeled and blown flat again two and a half weeks later -- that's a lot of "acts of God."

If you're living it, it's high drama. If your crop insurance isn't enough to cover the carnage, your finances have just become high anxiety.

If you live in the big city and think food comes from the Safeway plant or the Kroger factory . . . never mind. Rest highly assured it's the Boogie Man hatching yet another nefarious plot to empty your wallet and screw up your life.

And rest safe in the knowledge that "flyover country" means nothing to you or your less and less comfortable life.

On the other hand, maybe God is acting, in addition to "acting." If that's the case, Broadway just went west, young man . . . and Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana and Missouri are trying out for the chorus line.

HERE'S OUR latest audition, held in and around Omaha, by God, Neb.:

The lightning and heavy rain from the storm that hit the Omaha area Tuesday night sparked house fires, knocked out power to thousands of homes and flooded basements, streets and farm fields.

Hail knocked out several windows in the farmhouse of Junius Lentell, an 87-year-old retired farmer who lives east of Valley. The surrounding farm fields that he rents out to his grandson were flooded, and one of the metal sheds on the property was partially pulled from its footings and thrown atop a tractor.

The storm, which left behind 5 inches of rain on Lentell's property, plus the one that hit June 27 were the worst of his 62 years on the farm, he said.

“This is about the craziest living I’ve ever done,” Lentell said.

Other spots also were hit by heavy rain: About 4½ inches was recorded at 196th and Douglas Streets, and more than 4 inches was recorded at 201st and Farnam Streets, said David Eastlack, meteorologist with the National Weather Service office in Valley.

A rain gauge in northeast Papillion had 3.7 inches, nearly 3½ inches of rain fell at Boys Town, and Offutt Air Force Base collected 2.75 inches.

One-inch hail was reported in parts of Omaha, Eastlack said.

In an hour, 3 inches of rain pounded Morse Bluff, and in Ceresco, 1½ inches of rain fell in 30 minutes. Both towns are in Saunders County, Neb.

Tuesday night’s storm featured a tremendous amount of lightning.

“It would just flash every few seconds — lightning after lightning after lightning,” said Valley resident Ken Wild, who got 3.2 inches of rain at his house.

(snip)

In Sarpy County, lightning strikes caused two house fires — at 10236 Emiline St. near La Vista and at 14211 S. 65th St. near Bellevue.

In Douglas County, firefighters extinguished a lightning-caused fire at 5101 N. 196th St. in the Elkhorn area.

(snip)

Ed Schmidt, Douglas County 911 operations manager, reported 518 calls from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. Tuesday. During a normal weeknight, 911 will handle 100 to 130 calls, he said.

Flash flooding caused cars to stall and required that police direct traffic at 208th Street and West Maple Road about 11:30 p.m., the Weather Service said. Many roads were temporarily closed or underwater in western Douglas County, according to the weather service.

Much of Valley was littered with downed trees. Some streets were covered with water.

The King Lake community and Rainwood Road north of Valley were particularly hard-hit.

Volunteer rescue workers temporarily closed 264th Street near Rainwood Road because strong wind tore a roof from a nearby building and flung it into the road. The building had once been part of a hog confinement facility but had been empty about 10 years.

AND WHAT'S IN our local forecast for tomorrow night and Friday?

Rain. Lots and lots of rain. Some of it in strong storms.

We can't wait.

Pictures flying through the air . . . and other stuff not seen in the paper

Someday, electronic pictures will fly magically through the ether, to play out like a moving picture on a new kind of Radiola . . . right in your front parlor, where your present wireless apparatus sits to-day.

IT WILL BE CALLED TeleVision, and when it arrives here in Omaha, you can be assured that your Omaha World-Herald will be right on top of the story, bringing to you, the Midlands reader, the facts and figures, little comedies and big dramas . . . the story within the story of this modern marvel.

And perhaps someday, you will be getting the news and entertainment the World-Herald has to offer by means of this new, magical medium, as your hometown, home-owned news source embraces the best this century of progress has to off. . . .

OH . . . HANG ON A MINUTE:



WHAT??????? Since nineteen-freakin'-FORTY-NINE!?!?!?!?!

Damn, kind of got behind the curve on that one, didn't we? OK, here's what we'll do. We'll pretend it doesn't exist.

Sure, that's the way to go. People will ignore this "TeleVision" thing. And we'll be around forever . . . long after the novelty of moving pictures through the ether has passed and Midlanders come to their senses.

The WHAT?

What's an Enter Nets?

* * *

OK, I KID. But not that much.

And, face it, my joke is as good an explanation as any why blog readers in San Diego knew almost two weeks ago that Carlo Cecchetto -- one half of KMTV, Channel 3's anchor team -- was leaving Omaha to go back from whence he came. He's going to be the new weekend anchor at KFMB, Channel 8 in San Diego, where he was a reporter before teaming with Carol Wang (another then-newbie) at Action 3 News a year and a half ago.

An Omaha World-Herald stuck somewhere in 1932 also is as plausible an explanation as any that it was a Journal Broadcast Group press release Wednesday that revealed Craig Nigrelli, weekday 4 p.m. anchor at KCTV in Kansas City, would be Cecchetto's replacement. From there, the news surfaced in a blurb on MediaLine.com, then worked its way over to the Omaha TV News blog, and now you're reading it here.

But not in the World-Herald.

AND WHAT you haven't read anywhere yet is that -- if there be any rationality left anywhere in television news, either from a journalistic or a promotions standpoint -- Wang, Nigrelli's new co-anchor, ought to be worried.

Coming to Omaha with the new Channel 3 anchor is his wife, Carol Crissey Nigrelli, whose 20-plus years as an anchor at WIVB, the CBS affiliate in Buffalo, earned her a spot in the Buffalo Broadcasting Hall of Fame. She "retired from broadcasting" in June 2002 to marry Nigrelli, a former News 4 reporter then working in Albuquerque, N.M.

Here's what Carol Nigrelli's profile said when she was inducted into the Buffalo broadcasting hall:

Voted Buffalo’s Sexiest Woman too many years in a row to count, Carol transcended both television and news to become the unofficial Queen of Buffalo while anchoring the news on Channel 4 for 23 years. Her appeal as a newscaster and person is on many different levels . . .

She’s the smart, beautiful, authoritative and street savvy woman all women would love to be... and all men would love to marry. Combined with the sense and skill of a good newswoman, her career as a news anchor was a homerun.

Carol Crissey came to Buffalo from Harrisburg, PA in 1979, originally paired with John Beard at the anchor desk. Carol anchored the news at noon, 5, 6, and 11, with the likes of Beard, Bob Koop, Rich Newberg, and Kevin O’Connell until she “retired” to New Mexico last year.

NOW, IF THE perpetual Action Third News were looking to stop the ratings bleeding -- which never happened with "young blood" Wang and Cecchetto at the helm of KMTV's spastic Actioncast -- who's to say that the station won't find itself a new consultant . . . and won't start looking for another new piece to the anchor puzzle.

Maybe someone will get the bright idea to field a husband-wife anchor team. With at least one member a proven anchor talent.

And perhaps the folks at the Action Third News station -- sick of being . . . well . . . third -- will try to change a certain someone's mind about retirement.

"How do you like that? I buried the lede."

What if advertising were fun again?

The NE Creative advertising blog wonders why some of Omaha's abandoned grain silos, for example, haven't been put to good use as outdoor advertising. That's a good question.

I'M NOT AN AD MAN, and I don't play one on television . . . but my late father-in-law was. And in looking at what's left of the massive old silos adjacent to I-80 near the middle of town (Hello? Interstate 80 . . . major cross-country route . . . heavily used by weary truckers, travelers and drug runners), I see gigantic cans of energy drinks.

Like Red Bull.


PODNA, that's an outdoor ad you absolutely, positively can't ignore.

In fact, it's not just an ad, it's a tourist attraction. An honest-to-God tourist attraction.

And what if -- for 100 miles east and west of the giant Red Bull cans -- the maker of the energy drink bought billboard space and used it for oversized Burma Shave signs . . . only for Red Bull. Halfway across a transcontinental expressway. Full of people who absolutely, positively don't want to get drowsy and fall asleep at the wheel on a long, long drive.

Heck, for that matter, why not have an interactive campaign where you get Red Bull drinkers to write the Burma Shavesque rhymes for the billboards. Make it a contest. Best 100 go onto the billboards.

It's not brain surgery, but it sure would be fun.

NOW, IF SOMEONE takes this idea and runs with it, remember that I am not a greedy man. But papa sure could use an iMac and a MacBook Pro.