Teaching the world to sing, one record at a time

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It may have been something I ate. Still, last night I dreamed that I was Don Draper from Mad Men . . . the post- enlightenment Don Draper who'd like to teach the world to sing (in perfect harmony).

I was with Roger Sterling and my ex-wife Betty (as opposed to my ex-wife, Betty), who wasn't dying of lung cancer anymore. We were obligated to go to some stuffy occasion at some tony, modernistic (circa 1971) apartment in some newish high-rise that looked like all the other newish high-rises.

That detail made it difficult to figure out exactly where we were going. Eventually, we did. And we got there.

Inspiration from a 1964 record sleeve

As expected, the affair was staid, and the guests dull. And stuffy. Fakey, even.
Naturally, being Don Draper, I had a drink or three and for some reason wandered into the kitchen, which wasn't tony or modernistic. It was old, and it was a little shabby.

A gal was in there, dressed like a normal, blue-collar human being -- not a wealthy poseur. She was cooking and pouring drinks. And she was dancing to the music from an old radio or phonograph, I forget which.

I looked back out the kitchen door at the immaculate, expensive and quite sterile condo. I looked back into the kitchen, which wasn't any of that.

I decided the door was a portal into another dimension, and the kitchen was in another world -- a more real world than where I started. Then I walked through another door on the other side of the small kitchen area, and I found myself in a garage or storeroom. (A garage would have been damned interesting, considering high-rise. Then again, alternate dimension . . . so we're good.)

There, a young person was teaching an old, suspendered geezer to do the latest dance . . . to that music that was playing. I may not have known what the hell was going on, but the song had a good beat, and you could dance to it. My self-consciousness wasn't needed here, and it was all good.


WHAT DOES it all mean? Beats me -- I'm no shrink.

Maybe I taught the world to sing after all. Maybe I should have taught the world to dance instead -- though if you've ever seen me dance, you'd probably tell me to stick to the "sing" thing.

For the purposes of this here podcast -- 3 Chords & the Truth -- I'd like to think it's the kitchen . . . and the down-to-earth young woman cookin' and pourin' bourbon-and-Cokes. I'd like to think it's the other young person teaching the old fellow something more contemporary than the Lindy hop.

I dunno, maybe it's the geezer teaching the young'un the Lindy hop. Either way works.

Any which way you call it, however, it's not the expensive, modernistic apartment full of stuffed shirts acting like a bunch of phonies. Old Don merely endured that kind of thing, and Enlightened Don liked it even less.

And come to think of it, there's not a damn thing "alternate" about the Kitchen Dimension.

Now give me a bourbon-and-Coke and a hug.

Ding!

In the original German

Coming, no doubt, to the Trump inaugural gala.

Please, God, let them be booked to play this at the Trump inaugural gala.

3 Chords & the Truth: Casting our fate

The Big Show is back, and we're casting our fate to the wind.

That's not nothing -- the wind has been pretty damned ill lately. And so has your Mighty Favog.

I call it the Crud, and it seems everybody around Omaha, by God, Nebraska has had it this winter. It would seem that I may have gotten it worse than most -- about a month of varying degrees of sickness, 10 days of antibiotics and the worst laryngitis I've ever encountered.

Even now, my voice probably is only 80 percent, but that's good enough, I reckon, for 3 Chords & the Truth to be back on the Internets. So here it is.

Thank God.

I do believe we're picking up where we left off in the good -- and eclectic -- music department. On the other hand, the proof is in the listening, and the Big Show is ripe for listening after all this time away from the microphone.

Here's hoping that you're as eager to see what 3 Chords & the Truth is up to in the new year as I was eager to be up to something podcast-y in 2017.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Christmas 1962 . . . in full-fidelity FM stereo

Here, the tree stays up until Epiphany. We do things in the proper manner.

In that spirit, Revolution 21 presents Yuletide as it was heard in 1962 -- an hour and 19 minutes of Christmas Day programming in "full-fidelity FM stereo" on KQAL radio in Omaha. If you don't remember the 1960s, particularly FM radio in the early '60s, this will be a revelation to you.

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This is not today's FM radio. This is . . . how shall we put it . . . laid back. Radio by grown-ups, you could say.

It's not all that slick. Technology was more difficult then. Records skipped, and there wasn't much money in FM in 1962. The money was over on AM, back when AM radio mattered. Really mattered.

In 1962 (in 1972, for that matter), FM was for dentist offices, your mom and dad and grandma and grandpa with their "elevator music" (look it up), and frequency modulation was for the "longhairs." No, not hippies. There weren't any yet -- "beatniks" were as counterculture as you got back then. The longhairs listened to classical music, and they were a lot more cultured than you and me.

HERE, KQAL was for the longhairs and elevator-music lovers from its inception April 19, 1959. And in 1962, it was the only station in these parts broadcasting in that newfangled "FM multiplex stereo," which became a thing in June 1961 after its approval by the Federal Communications Commission.

But you'll hear from this recording that FM receivers (or multiplex adapters, which also used to be a thing) weren't as good as they would be . . . and a 54-year-old reel-to-reel tape probably doesn't sound quite as bright as it once did. And you'll hear that stations like KQAL, at 94.1 on your FM stereo dial, still were figuring out what to do with that extra channel of audio when the records weren't playing.

Sometimes it could get weird. Listen, and you'll hear what I mean. No, I will not spoil it for you.

Some day soon we all will be together
If the fates allow
Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow

BUT THAT'S NOT what's important.

What's important is that this is the sound of Christmas in my 55-year-old head and my 55-year-old heart. It's the sound of the holidays when adults ran the world, and I was far from being one.

When I think of Christmas in our two-bedroom, one-bath house on Darryl Drive in Baton Rouge, La., this station from long ago in Omaha, where I now have lived far longer than I did in Louisiana, is pretty much what I hear. For the record, I also smell fruitcake, pecans and walnuts, fresh oranges, strong coffee, a huge spruce tree in the living room . . . and Bruce floor wax.

I hear and smell these things that are no more. The older I get, the more it happens.

With each passing year, there also are more and more "no mores." At Christmas, I see the loved ones who once filled my house and my life but are no more. I hear the voices long silent.

I remember a Christmas Day soundtrack that sounded kind of like this. As it turns out, my memories are in full-fidelity FM stereo, too.

3 Chords & the Truth: FUT FUT FUT

Please open your 3 Chords & the Truth hymnals to Formula 409 as we open our program.

A song of Tonio. K?

A-one, an-a-two, an-a-three. . . .

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
BAH, I AM STUPID!
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
YES, I AM STUPID!

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
BAH, I AM STUPID!
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
HAH, I AM STUPID!

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT

This song has no doubt confused you.
You are maybe hurt?
You should not let this bother you
You are not so worthless!

You are:

a) an integral and valuable part of some Master Plan

OR

b) clearly as important as a dirt-clod or that can

Sing it out now:

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
BAH, I AM STUPID!
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
YES, I AM STUPID!

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
BAH, I AM STUPID!
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
HAH, I AM STUPID!

FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT
FUT-FUT-FUT FUT-FUT-FUT

YOU MAY be seated. Thank you.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: The Voice of Music

The sounds coming off the campaign trail certainly aren't getting any sweeter -- and propriety prevents me from telling you what the presidential election sounds like to me -- so I guess we need to counteract that on this week's 3 Chords & the Truth.

Oh, crap. Reality has Trumped that possibility. (Sorry, couldn't resist the cheap joke.)

I guess, then, we will have to just do our best on the Big Show to replace the voice of discord with our own Voice of Music. We probably can't drown out all the noise from the rubber room, but I'm betting the Voice of Music will take care of most of it, making for a dramatically more pleasant run up to Armageddon Nov. 8.

I THINK this will work.

Please, God, this has to work.

OK, let's remain positive. Yes, this will work. The Voice of Music will remedy all.

We should all be feeling much better 30 minutes into this edition of 3 Chords & the Truth. You know, power to soothe the savage breast and all of that.

What do we got to lose?

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: I dub thee Krystal burger

I . . . well . . . um . . . you see . . . here's the thing. . . .

Er . . . I can't explain this week's edition of 3 Chords & the Truth. You're just going to have to dive into the thing and figure it out for yourself.

It's the only thing to be done when you face the prospect of . . . I'm not sure. You see, it's like . . . no, that's not it.

Something about Nobel hamburgers or Krystal Whataburgers or something.

Just listen, OK. I'm sure the Big Show will make some sort of sense eventually.

I think.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Hey! That has something to do with the program, too! Sort of.

3 Chords & the Truth: It's chilly at the top

See what happens when you come back from a restorative break from the weekly grind?

The Big Show hits new heights, that's what. So now your Mighty Favog has to figure out how to program a program from the pinnacle of podcasting prodigiousness.

Trouble is, it's cold up here. Much nippier than the relatively balmy autumnal mean down below in Omaha, by God, Nebraska.

Fortunately, I've got some wonderful music to keep me warm this week on 3 Chords & the Truth. I trust it also will keep you well entertained for, as usual, we cover just about all the bases on this eclectic artistic enterprise.

FOR INSTANCE,  you're going to hear from the composer who started as an arranger for Paul Whiteman . . . and was inspired to finish his own masterpiece by shaping another for orchestral performance. And we'll hear a little something from Paul Whiteman and his concert orchestra, too, via the 78 RPM Wayback Machine.

And, for an encore, we'll show you a bit of commonality between classical and country . . . music, that is. You won't hear that on your local FM station, that's for certain.

We can do this because here at 3 Chords & the Truth, all things are fresh and new . . . and we don't have no stinkin' rules. Come to think of it, we have damn few preconceptions, as well. But if you regularly listen to the program, you already know that, don't you?

I DON'T KNOW why I'm going on about this, being that it's common knowledge. I suppose it's the need to fill space with words so this entry doesn't look funny. Headline, picture, podcast player would just look . . .  incomplete.

So consider this post for the newest edition of the program complete.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: It's crazy, pally!

Charley, this week's episode of the Big Show is a real gasser. Man, I am talkin' the livin' end!

There's some stuff on 3 Chords & the Truth this go around that's just crazy. Coo-coo!

It's a real clambake. Parts of the thing will just fracture you, pally! Good as a tomato waitin' for you in every gin joint.

MAN, IT IS anything but Endsville. I'm tellin' you, whoever's behind this thing must be a big-leaguer.

What a ring-a-ding show! You're startin' out real freaky like -- you know, trippy -- and then, next thing you know, you're at the Sands. Pally, this thing's a gas!

But if you listen to the Big Show much, you knew that already, right?

Three words: Wow-ee wow wow!

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, Charley. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Soundscapes

Did you know you can paint with sound?

Did you know that you can create a musical landscape with a playlist?

What we do here on 3 Chords & the Truth is paint soundscapes, which is the same thing as a musical landscape, with audio equipment as your canvas and your ears substituting for your eyes. This edition of the podcast takes the concept of soundscapes and -- BAM! -- kicks it up a notch.

Bet you like it.

WHEN YOU look at the playlist for this week's episode of the Big Show, what you see is a spreadsheet. When you listen to the playlist for this week's show, what you hear is magic.

What you hear is pieces of music and snippets of sound creating a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. You hear familiar songs put together in unfamiliar ways.

You hear unfamiliar compositions take on a certain familiarity.

What you don't hear is something that you fully expect. What you cannot be when faced with a fresh soundscape is complacent.

WE HAVE a media world out there that's overrun by complacency. 3 Chords & the Truth  ain't that.

And that's an audio picture worth painting.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: The echo chamber

It's such an echo chamber in here, you'd think 3 Chords & the Truth had gone all talk radio on you.

But no.

It's still the same good music -- the same highly eclectic Big Show mix -- just with 89 percent more echo. Sam Phillips would be so proud.

Special acknowledgment goes to TEAC A-4010S. Thank you and God bless.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

No, really. That's all I have to say. Just go and listen to the show. Shoo!

I'm your rumba man

This is a 1956 iPod playing a 1950s iTunes download -- Xavier Cugat's favorite rumbas, to be specific.

And I'm still doing the rumba, baby. I can't seem to quit. If Chris Brown catches us doing the rumba, Chris Brown would just pitch a fit. (With firearms.)

But I can't help myself; it's much bigger than me. If I were you, I'd hang onto a rumba man like me.

NOW, you might ask, what sort of geekery gets a rumba man like me excited? Old LP records, yes. But more than that . . . old LP records in great shape that have price tags on them from a St. Louis record store that went out of business about the time your rumba man was getting in business.

So to speak.

Don't get me started about how to figure out how old a pressing is, or where did the filler songs come from when a record company reissues a 1948 10-inch LP as a mid-'50s 12-inch LP and adds four songs to it . . . because more space.

Just don't. You ain't geek enough.

Well, that's about all for now. File this under Things That Probably Will End Up on This Week's Show.

3 Chords & the Truth: Trying to wash us away

The rains tried to wash south Louisiana away.

Then the national media and America's cognoscenti tried to wish south Louisiana's waterlogged ruin and its waterlogged suffering away.

Both are still here, not that you'd notice if you weren't already looking hard for evidence of either.

This edition of 3 Chords & the Truth is a protest against Americans' desire to ignore -- to condescend to -- their brothers and sisters at the soggy bottom of Flyover Country. This go around of the podcast is other things, too -- sunnier things -- but the protest, our musical protest, is the heart of the thing.

Louisiana lives matter.

AND YOU -- we -- don't get to ignore that, because all Americans matter, being that no American is more American than any other American.

That's a point this episode of the Big Show hopes to makes as entertainingly as possible. While you're listening, check out the Baton Rouge Area Foundation and the Greater Baton Rouge Food Bank and lend a financial hand, if you can.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Psychedelic or psychotropic?

Who cares?

Whichever, this episode of the Big Show does seem to take the edge off.

Ain't that all that's important in the summer of our discontent?

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Maaaan.

3 Chords & the Truth: Upping our meds

Political news? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better to . . . run run run run run run run away.

Or listen to this episode of 3 Chords & the Truth. One or the other.

Personally, I'd recommend listening to this episode of the Big Show, which went quite smoothly, actually, after I upped my meds. Before Inauguration Day, I think we all are going to be upping

 

OUR MEDS.

Thank you! I'm fine. How are you?

Hello.

Who?

Swimmingly. Good show. Righto.

Political news? Qu'est-ce que c'est?

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be-be there. Aloha. 

3 Chords & the Truth: Don't worry, get happy

It's probably the end of the world as we know it, so pour yourself a stiff drink and let's us listen to some comfort music.

If this stuff was good enough to get the "greatest generation" through the 1960s . . . and the Baby Boomers' teenage years . . . it no doubt is good enough for this edition of 3 Chords & the Truth, one where we seek to self-medicate through happy, soothing sounds.

I mean, if the world's going to hell in a handbasket, find another handbasket.

TO TELL YOU the truth, I have no idea what that means. But it sounded good. Rather like this episode of the Big Show, the swingingest podcast on the Internets.

It's the Happy Beat.

It's also 3 Chords & the Truth. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: The vast wasteland at 75

A country can't become awash in television -- and TV commercials -- all of a sudden. You have to start somewhere.

Broadcasting, July 14, 1941

Somewhere was New York City exactly 75 years ago. On July 1, 1941, Newton Minow's "vast wasteland" of commercial television consisted of Channel 1, Channel 2 and Channel 4. But Channel 4 was still "experimental" and couldn't run ads, so that leaves us with Channels 1 and 2 -- WNBT (NBC) and WCBW (CBS) -- on that august prewar day in July.

Yes, Virginia, there was a Channel 1 until 1946.

On that July day three-quarters of a century ago, the National Broadcasting Company was the first to "go to commercial." Before the start of a Brooklyn Dodgers baseball game, a WNBT camera focused on a test pattern, and in that test pattern was a clock -- a Bulova clock. And that was the first television ad.

The things have been with us since . . . annoying us, amusing us and giving us time to make a trip down the hall. I guess that's well worth taking note of on this week's edition of 3 Chords & the Truth.

IN OTHER WORDS, get yourself ready for an entire set of songs devoted to the boob tube. With a little luck, video won't kill the Internet radio star.

Also get yourself ready for a jazz set, a sweet set and a hot one, too. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life.

Or so we've been told. I guess that's why this little program from Omaha, by God, Nebraska is so dad-blasted eclectic.

You are listening to 3C&T, Omaha. Bulova watch time is . . . time to turn on the Big Show and listen to the music.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.