3 Chords & the Truth: It's zaptastic

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even the BZZZZZZZZAP!

Note to self: The headphones do not connect to the electrical outlet. They plug into the mixing console. 

No, not the mixer in the kitchen, the thing in the studio with the knobs and faders.

I'll bet the above has cleared up a lot of things for you about 3 Chords & the Truth. Unsurprisingly, they're not much clearer for me. But I'll keep on . . . BZZZZZZZZAP! . . . trying.

I DON'T really know where I'm going with this. All I know is it's the week before Christmas, and there's so much to do and so little sleep. I also know there's another fresh episode of the Big Show this week -- right here, in fact -- and it's a real gas.

Because I don't trust myself with the electric.

What? No, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, either. Perhaps listening to the show will clear things up. Perhaps not.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Alo-ho-ho-ho-ha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Now and then . . . mostly then

Submitted for your approval, the curious story of Betty, who, unknown to her, now resides somewhere between past and present, between 1954 and 2022.

Between suburban Omaha sometime during the Happy Days and . . . the Twilight Zone.

Ostensibly, this is an ordinary day. Betty thinks she is having an ordinary phone chat with her best friend, Marge. But this is no ordinary telephone call, and hers is no ordinary telephone.

Unbeknownst to her, Betty’s is a special telephone. And she has called not to Happy Hollow just across town. She has dialed 68 years into the past . . . and Marge, unfortunately, still resides firmly in 1954.

LET'S LISTEN IN on Betty’s unwitting long-distance call, a long-distance call like no other.

“Hello, Marge? You won’t believe what I just heard! It’s this freeform music podcast called 3 Chords & the Truth, and it’s fabulous!

“What’s that, Marge? Yes, a freeform music podcast. FREE . . . form. That means freewheeling, I think. Without a set format. Format. You know, like the structure and content of something.

“Yes, Marge. What? What’s a podcast?

“It’s an online program you can download and listen to anytime. Download. Off the Internet and onto your smartphone . . . or computer or tablet.

“No, Marge. No, I haven’t had a stroke or a nervous breakdown.

“No, dear. I assure you I’m making perfect sense. No, the Internet is not some kind of a communist organization. Yes, I’m here at home. Why do you ask?

“Surely there must be some reason you wanted to make sure that I’m at home right now.

“No. No, I don’t need help. Why on earth do you think I need help?

“What? Who exactly do you need to get off the line to call?

“No, I am telling you that I am fine. I do NOT need help. I happen to be making perfect sense, dear.

“I am telling you, Marge, that I am NOT a communist and that I am NOT having a stro . . . hello? HELLO??? Marge?”

BETTY DOES NOT know that in 25 minutes — or, perhaps, 68 years and 25 minutes ago — two white-clad men will arrive at her tidy, tastefully appointed home. They will come to take her to . . . the Electroshock-Therapy Zone.

They will not notice the futuristic little device plugged into her new hi-fi console. The device is the size of a Big Chief tablet, but it contains no ruled paper. It’s an iPad, and it belongs not to the world of 1954, but instead to ours.

It is the world of tomorrow — the world of the Big Show. We know it as . . . today.

It’s 3 Chords & the Truth, y’all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Come as you are

Have you seen those old ads for console hi-fis and televisions, where everybody is dressed to the nines just to stare at the screen or gaze fondly at . . . the speaker cloth, or maybe a spinning record?

What the hell is the deal with that anyway? Personally, I just think that means we've been demented for decades, and it's not just a recent phenomenon.

Let me be clear. We're not like that at 3 Chords & the Truth. You can sit on the couch in your underwear and stare at the speaker, for all we care.

WE MAY CHUCKLE at the thought of that but, fundamentally, we don't care. You do you.

Likewise, the Big Show will do the Big Show.

I'm glad we could clear that up straightaway.

Now to the business at hand. This week, there's yet another exemplary program cued up for you, with lots and lots of great music . . . and a reasonably competent host to carefully place it out here on the Internets.

And, really, what more do you need as you sit there in your chair or on your couch, drinking an adult beverage and eating nachos. In your underwear.

We chuckle at the thought. But again, you do you. No judgment, just a discreet chuckle here and there.

That's really all there is to say. Great music, thoughtfully ordered. Nachos. A sofa. You and your Fruit of the Looms. The end.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: No tricks, just treats

Trick or treat, smell my feet. . . .

No, I couldn't do that to you. I don't even want to smell my feet.

Let me tell you what I will do for this Halloween-ish edition of 3 Chords & the Truth, though. I will forgo the tricks . . . and give you nothing but treats of the musical variety.

This will not be your average ghoulcast. The Big Show is waaaaaaay better than that.

Don't believe me, just listen for yourself. And I promise, no one will suck your blood.

Unless, of course, your significant other is a mosquito. In that case, I can't really help you.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Ball of confusion

The ball of confusion in which we dwell is not the reason I'm just a wee bit tardy posting this edition of the Big Show.

The reason is because the LSU-Ole Miss football game was on TV this afternoon. To wit, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS!"

And the hated Rebels did, 45-20. That was gratifying.

Now we return you to your regularly scheduled episode of 3 Chords & the Truth. About which, I gather I am supposed to say something that will get you to listen.

WELL, Sparky, this week we acknowledge the confusion and mayhem now engulfing us in these Disunited States. That's one thing . . . which, actually, is pretty entertaining despite the subject matter. Not as entertaining as watching my alma mater beat down Ole Miss for homecoming but, then again, what is?

Also, we feature the usual musically mysterious twists and turns that are the trademark of the Big Show . . . but that's a given. It's not like I have to point that out.

On the other hand, I have to write something. To get you to listen.

On the other other hand . . . you know, I bet the prong of this here fork will fit in that electrical outlet. I'm sure o . . . lqwFGHLU;;/CF ;odij  ;oiJFWp0;92rp0    9 'p;FK''KPp;'f '[OD['i2rkjpdW'Kd'dk

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It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

(thud)

3 Chords & the Truth: MAGA Goddam

The name of this episode is MAGA Goddam,
and I mean every word of it.

Tuberville's gotten me so upset,
Don Bacon made me lose my rest,
And everybody knows about that MAGA Goddam.

Nebraska's gotten me so upset,
Pete Ricketts made me lose my rest,
And everybody knows about that MAGA Goddam.

Can't you see it?
Can't you feel it?
It's all in the air.
I can't stand the pressure much longer.
Somebody say a prayer.

The GOP's gotten me so upset,
Traitor Trump made me lose my rest,
And everybody knows about that MAGA Goddam.

That's it! With apologies to the late, great Nina Simone.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: The Think System

Here's the thing about 3 Chords & the Truth: It takes time to put together. 

You've got to pick the music. You've got to prepare the music -- clean up the clicks and pops on the vinyl, equalize the audio levels, yadda yadda yadda. Then you have to order the music so it all fits together in a pleasant manner. It's got to flow, you know? 

Then you have to talk about the music . . . and whatever else strikes one's fancy. Then it all has to be turned into a computer file to be uploaded to this spot right here. 

That's a lot of work to put on the Big Show. 

And there has to be an easier way. 

And that's what I've been searching for here in the 3 Chords & the Truth apocalypse bunker in Omaha, by God, Nebraska. Well, I think I've come up with something. 

This week, let's see how that works out, shall we? 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Chill, being

Ever feel the need to dial it back? To tone it down some? To mellow out, man?

To just chill?

Yeah, me, too. So the Big Show will this week. Yes, it will.

That's not to say it'll be moribund (stick that in your Funk and Wagnall's, pally). It's just going to be outstanding in a non-frenetic manner.

I guess I could say more, but how chill would that be? It wouldn't. It would be stretching . . . straining . . . trying too hard.

Nope. This week, we just let the show come to us. I'd recommend you do the same.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: In memoriam

The queen is dead. Long live the king.

The vast majority of her subjects have never known another monarch -- another head of state -- than Queen Elizabeth II. For that matter, neither has this American small-R republican.

It seems to me, even as someone steeped in our particular Yank brand of civic egalitarianism (such as it is at present), that there are advantages today to having a head of state removed from the realm of electoral politics.

THINK OF IT -- a head of state who is a true symbol of national unity, not fated to be loathed by a significant chunk of the population from the get-go. Because politics. A head of state whose entire job description is service to her -- now his -- subjects seems to be something of a miracle today.

I envy the British people, and the people of the Commonwealth, that. Especially during these fractious times.

So, today's episode of 3 Chords & the Truth is different from our usual fare. This program is a memorial to the departed queen, who for 70 years conducted herself not as just a light and an example for her nation, but for all nations.

Godspeed, ma'am. And thank you.

It's the Big Show. And it's all about the queen we all were blessed to have for so long . . . and who now belongs to the ages.

Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Over the moon

You'll be over the moon about this edition of 3 Chords & the Truth. Whether you want to be or not.

By George, you will.

NASA is sending up the first, unmanned, Artemis mission to the moon this coming week, but you're going to get there first. Your space-age Mighty Favog is going to make sure of that, and the Big Show is your rocket ship.

Bang! Zoom! You're goin' to the moon!

And all you have to do is sit back and listen.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: How it's done

Alrighty then, I'm going to tell you how to make the magic that is 3 Chords & the Truth.

First, you gather up a bunch of records, CDs and tapes. Then you mix in some digital files. Place the preceding into the 3 Chords & the Truth machine. 

Put the power switch in the "on" position, then depress the "engage" button.

In a few hours, you will see the finished product in the output bin. A copy automatically will be uploaded to the Internet. 

Then, sit back and enjoy the Big Show.

These are the basics, but if I went into granular detail about how the audio magic is performed . . . well, I'd have to kill you. 

That would be bad. 

So don't ask too many questions, OK? 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all.  Be there.  Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Uhhhh . . . OK

There will come a time during this program that you will have a serious thought pop into your overloaded brain. 

It will be a simple thought, yet profound. 

This thought, arguably, could sum up 14 years of 3 Chords & the Truth. 

YOU MAY question your sanity. 

You may question my sanity. 

But first, there will be the thought. 

At the time in question. 

It will be this, I assure you: 

"This is some f***ed up s***, but it could be brilliant." 

Welcome to the Big Show. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Bad tidings, good tunes

Methinks I have come to be the bearer of bad tidings and good music. 

It's a hell of a thing to live in America today and be constitutionally unable to avert one's gaze from the sh*tshow, where crazy is the new normal. Welcome to my life. 

Welcome to 3 Chords & the Truth. Fortunately, you get some really good tunes along with the failure to avert one's gaze. 

COULD IT be that we're a clandestine voice of the resistance, broadcasting from deep in occupied, red-state territory? Yeah, it could. Go figure. Some days here in Omaha, by God, Nebraska, it feels like the führer is running things, and the only active resistance is from the nutters who think Herr Ricketts is being soft on humanity. 

And the anti-sh*tshow people are waiting for the American invasion to come. 

What? Well, hell.

We interrupt this program for an urgent message for Amtrak Joe: The red fox chases the blue bunny. The red fox chases the blue bunny. 

And now on with the music on the Big Show. It's extra good to counteract the extra bad times. 

Which is exactly what you'd expect from the rebel radio. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: More ump-ff!

3 Chords & the Truth -- it's the show with more ump-ff. 

And your mileage won't vary. Everybody gets maximum ump-ff when listening to the Big Show.

But you don't have to believe me; prove it to yourself. Try an episode and see just how much ump-ff can be packed into 90 minutes of a music podcast. 

You'll be glad you did. 

IN FACT, you'll probably think 3 Chords & the Truth invented ump-ff. We did not, but we do appropriate it heavily. That's why we have more ump-ff than Brand X. Or Brand Y. Or even Brand Z. 

Once you try the exquisite musical mix we present, it's safe to say that you'll never go anywhere else for your weekly measure of ump-ff. Because the Big Show just has more. More music, more ump-ff, more satisfaction at the low, low price of . . . zip.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: I fall to pieces

I turned on the Internet stream of my high-school radio station this morning just in time to hear the DJ mention that this spring, they're kicking off WBRH's 45th anniversary celebration.

Wut?

I was there then. I can tell you what the first record was. I was a junior in Radio I.

In 1977.

Forty-five years ago.

S***.  

IT ALSO HAPPENS that I have a birthday coming up in a few days. It would appear that I'm no longer 18, much less 16.

It would appear that I'm 45 years older than 16.

S***.

That would explain that when I walk by, I fall to pieces. A little help here . . . I've fallen, and I can't get up.

Well,  that kind of sets the scene for this week's edition of 3 Chords & the Truth. Expect some music from when I was 61 years younger than I am now . . . and 39 years younger . . . and 47 years younger . . . and 51 years younger . . . and you get the gist here.

IT'S MY PARTY, and I'll play what the hell I want to. Fortunately for you, it's all good. Every bit of it. That's what we've all come to expect of the Big Show. 

And that's a very good thing. It was a very good year. All of 'em. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Anybody really know what time it is?

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Does anybody really care?

Do we go forward or backward?

This, I do know, however. Any time is the right time for a little 3 Chords & the Truth. Or a lot, for that matter. 

Personally, I'd go with a lot. It's that good.

And that's good enough, because it's the Big Show. It's as simple as that.

Period.

I said period.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Dropping the needle

Well, it's time to drop the needle on another stack of hot wax on the Big Show, Daddio.

That used to mean something, and it says nothing young about me that I know what it used to mean. Man.

That incomprehensibly said, it's another episode of 3 Chords & the Truth. As per the norm, it's another good one. 

Right on. 

I am copacetic with the lingo, for I am a groovy dude. Get it? Groovy, as in hot wax on the record machine. 

Forget it.  Let's just drop the needle and get on with it. The times are too dark to go on without some music to get us through. 

Find joy where you can -- the message of the day on the Big Show. 

It's  3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha. (Click.)

Be there. Aloha. (Click.)

Be there. Aloha. (Click.)

Be there. Aloha. (Click.)

Be there. Aloha. (Click.)

Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Russia . . . go #@&! yourself

The other day, a Russian warship demanded the surrender of a tiny Ukrainian outpost on a small island off the coast of Odessa. Or else. 

The radio response of the 13 soldiers stationed there? “Russian warship, go f*** yourself.” Those were the last known words of the soldiers before the shelling began and their lives ended.

We live in a chaotic world, and malefactors abound. Fascism and tyranny are ascendant, particularly in the United States, which has many Vladimir Putin wannabes. Thus, those last words of the Ukrainian martyrs are, today, a rallying cry for those of us who love freedom, seek decency and hate authoritarianism. 

AND THAT'S where we are, both mentally and emotionally, this week on 3 Chords & the Truth.

Vladimir Putin, go f*** yourself. Donald Trump, go f*** yourself. Tucker Carlson, go f*** yourself. American Nazis, go f*** yourself. MAGA nation, go f*** yourself.

Here in Nebraska . . . Gov. Pete Ricketts, go f*** yourself. Gubernatorial candidates Charles Herbster and Jim Pillen, race-baiting fascists both, go f*** yourselves. No retreat, no surrender. 

Like Russian missiles slamming into apartment buildings in Kyiv, such American fascists represent high explosives aimed square at American civil society. At our very soul. That these charlatans call themselves "Christian" makes the offense all the more grievous. 

The brave defenders of Ukraine, outgunned though they are, show us all how to respond to tyrants and their evil doings. We fight. That's the underlying spirit of the Big Show this week. It, really, is the underlying spirit every week.

It's just that we do what we can . . . with music. Good music. A diversity of music. And we all know what the fascists think about diversity. 

Well, they can go f*** themselves. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Mahvelous

You have your normal, baseline self. Then you have yourself on 3 Chords & the Truth.

See the difference? To the world, the humdrum world, you seem a bit off-kilter -- a blur, perhaps. But to you . . . you look mahvelous. You feel mahvelous. You are mahvelous. 

Crucially, the music is mahvelous. It doesn't matter if you can't spell marvelous. That's because you, on the Big Show, are mahvelous. And the world just can't keep up. 

MAHVELOUS. 

That is the world of 3 Chords & the Truth. 

It's the world of infinite variety, great music you can't hear just anywhere . . . and a host celebrating yet another day he's not in the federal penal system. What's more mahvelous than that? 

I'll wait while you decide. It shouldn't take long. 

Now go listen to the show. It's . . . well, you know. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

3 Chords & the Truth: Legitimate musical discourse

Classic form. Classic sound. Now, pass me some heavy weaponry and a couple of clips. 

We're gonna have us some legitimate musical discourse. 

NOTE: We have ways of making you like this episode of 3 Chords & the Truth.

Uhhhh . . . we're all patriots here, right? 

As usual, the musical mix here on the Big Show runs from soup to nuts. and there is a high degree of confidence that you will love the program this week. Right? 

I said . . . riiiight? Excellent.

See, discourse is good. 

Yeah, it's a great show. The best show. You wouldn't believe how good the show is this week. 

It is some serious musical discourse. Or else. 

As a matter of fact, I have a peaceful, easy feeling about the whole shootin' match. 

NOTE: No Mike Pences were hanged during the course of the Big Show. 

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.