Because someday I'll be old -- and someday is today -- there's only one thing to do.
I'll put on a double-knit polyester shirt. With a wiiiiiiiiiide collar.
I'll put on a too-tight pair of bell-bottom blue jeans (and these days, all my jeans are too tight anyway).
I'll scare up a gold chain or three as I get ready for this edition of 3 Chords & the Truth.
I'LL ATTEMPT to hide my bald spot. Then I'll attempt to avoid fast convertibles, speedboats or going outside on windy days.
Then I'll put on a Donna Summer record, talk about getting down, try to engage you in a rap session, attempt a dance move no one over 40 should even think about, much less do . . . and then I'll proclaim everything groovy.
And I'll think kind thoughts about you, my people, for you loyal listeners of the Big Show are righteous dudes . . . and dudettes.
This edition of the program, you see, is Tragically Hip.
If you think you can boogie down in Funkytown, maybe you can be Tragically Hip, too. Or if that's not your bag, man, you can just sit over there with all the freaks and be dismissive of it all. It's a free country, man.
It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.
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