Tuesday, December 16, 2014

What the #@*% do you have to do?


This is the scene from the curb in front of my house as of about 45 minutes ago.

The garbage man has been here. The recycling crew, too.

Omaha is a great place to live, if you can ignore the garbage-pickup thing. The garbage thing is awful here.


Apart from the garbage cans and recycling bins strewn all about, which is normal enough, there is another sure sign Deffenbaugh Industries has been to your neighborhood -- the garbage and recyclables blowing down the street after the company's not-so-industrious crews have done their due non-diligence.

That is, if they've bothered to pick up your garbage at all.

With this in mind, I had a strategy for getting rid of an old kitchen garbage can. Below, you see my strategy.


I KNOW . . . I know . . . it was a calculated risk, but it was all I had when I put out the trash last night.


Some risks don't pay off, I'm sorry to say.


APPLYING MY finely honed analytical skills to this situation and taking into account bitter personal experience with Omaha's garbage contractor, I have come up with a few possibilities here:
  • 1. Deffenbaugh crews just don't care.
  • 2. Deffenbaugh crews can't read English.
  • 3. Deffenbaugh crews don't care and they can't read English.
  • 4. Deffenbaugh crews don't care, can't read English, and they don't care that they can't read English.
  • 5. Deffenbaugh crews don't care, can't read English, don't care that they can't read English . . . and company management likes it that way. Maybe city government, too.
MY MONEY'S on the final option. Did I mention that, in addition to the sticky notes, I also sat the unwanted garbage can on top of a full trash bag?

The trash bag, they took.


So, just how does one throw away a garbage can, anyway? After today, I'm open to all suggestions
that won't ultimately land me in jail.

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