Monday, April 04, 2011

TV news . . . for dummies, by dummies?

This is a partial transcript of a news promo aired on an Omaha TV station Sunday night:
"Microscopic . . . and deadly. A new virus that's resistant to almost every antibiotic."
A new virus that's resistant to almost every antibiotic is a piss-poor virus, indeed. What, is Barack Obama going to launch a No Virus Left Behind initiative?

Repètez après moi: Antibiotics are for bacteria; antivirals are for viruses. I think Bert and Ernie have a ditty that explains that to your average 6-year-old.

I DON'T KNOW what to say about the future of democracy when "professional journalists" are about on the ball as your average high-school dropout. And I am pretty much despondent about the state of American education, being that the vast majority of these nincompoops came to ActionNewsWatchOnYourSide with college degrees.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of dumbth . . . I will be scared spitless. For the idiots are with me. Thy rod, thy staff, they provoke prurient giggles during the happy-talk segments of
ActionNewsWatchOnYourSide. Because somebody said "rod." And "staff."

My cup runneth over.
Film at 11.

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