Bong Hits Smut 4 Jesus

Mingle2 has a website-rating tool, and it says I'm a dirty old man.

If Mingle2 (some sort of online-dating site) thinks this blog is a filthy as it gets on the Web -- NC-17 being the new XXX (Damn, that's not helping my rating!), kind of like 40 is the new 30 -- one can only assume that Mingle2 obviously must be some kind of online Church Lady's Lonely Hearts Club.

Mercy . . . the right gift for the right people

"I didn't meet with Larry King
either when he came down
for it. I watched his interview
with [Tucker], though.
He asked her real difficult
questions, like, 'What would
you say to Governor Bush?'"

"What was her answer?"
I wonder.

"Please," Bush whimpers,
his lips pursed in mock
desperation, "don't kill me."


IT COULD NOT BE MORE OBVIOUS that -- to the Bush Administration and to those who shape our society -- the application of mercy is wholly dependent on who you were before you did the crime, not the person you become in its wake.

I guess it takes a "fine Christian man" in the White House to really turn the gospel on its head.

Lewis "Scooter" Libby was chief of staff to Vice-President Dick Cheney, and he got caught lying like a rug to those investigating who brought then-CIA spy Valerie Plame in from the cold. Through no choice of her own, nor of the CIA.

After Libby's trial, conviction and 30-month sentence, President Bush now has decided that's too tough for "the right kind" of miscreant. Scooter was loyal. Scooter was urbane. Scooter's a lawyer. Scooter was on the case of Bush's enemies. Scooter did his and Cheney's dirty work.

Said the president:

Mr. Libby was sentenced to thirty months of prison, two years of probation, and a $250,000 fine. In making the sentencing decision, the district court rejected the advice of the probation office, which recommended a lesser sentence and the consideration of factors that could have led to a sentence of home confinement or probation.

I respect the jury's verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby's sentence that required him to spend thirty months in prison.

My decision to commute his prison sentence leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Libby. The reputation he gained through his years of public service and professional work in the legal community is forever damaged. His wife and young children have also suffered immensely. He will remain on probation. The significant fines imposed by the judge will remain in effect. The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant, and private citizen will be long-lasting.

ON THE OTHER HAND, death is a lot longer lasting.

Karla Faye Tucker, after spending one day in 1983 getting stoned out of her mind, went with a couple of biker friends to steal her ex-lover's motorcycle. In the attempt, she helped kill the guy and his girlfriend with a pickax.

A jury convicted Tucker and Danny Garrett. They got death. Only Karla Faye Tucker lived long enough in prison to face her execution date.

Funny thing happened on the way to the lethal injection, though. In 1985, Karla Faye Tucker found Jesus in prison. And she spent the next 12 years praising God, witnessing to inmates and . . . becoming a preacher's wife.

She married the prison chaplain by proxy.

NOW, NO ONE WANTED to give Karla Faye Tucker a "Get Out of Jail Free" card like "Scooter" Libby got. All anyone wanted -- including Tucker -- was for her not to die, but instead spend life in jail.

Maybe it would have worked out better for her that fateful day in 1998 if she had been a Bible-thumping daughter of privilege before she got doped up and picked up that pickax, instead of a drugged-out biker chick who had been abused as a child and escaped to become a rock 'n' roll groupie. Before she became a biker chick.

To "the right kind of people" -- especially in Washington -- if you're born poor white trash and find Jesus, that merely bumps you up to "poor, uneducated and easy to command." And if you find Jesus on death row, that barely bumps you up to some politician's phony expression of regret when the warden kills your ass, already.

Kind of like this one, from Texas Gov. George W. Bush:

When I was sworn in as the governor of Texas I took an oath of office to uphold the laws of our state, including the death penalty. My responsibility is to ensure our laws are enforced fairly and evenly without preference or special treatment.

Many people have contacted my office about this execution. I respect the strong convictions which have prompted some to call for mercy and others to emphasize accountability and consequences.

Like many touched by this case, I have sought guidance through prayer. I have concluded judgment about the heart and soul of an individual on death row are best left to a higher authority. . . .

The state must make sure each individual sentenced to death has opportunity for access to the court and a thorough legal review. The courts, including the United States Supreme Court, have reviewed the legal issues in this case, and therefore I will not grant a 30-day stay.

May God bless Karla Faye Tucker and may God bless her victims and their families.

WHAT BUSH MEANT TO SAY, he said to Tucker Carlson the next year during his presidential campaign, in a now-infamous interview for Talk magazine:

Bush's brand of forthright `tough-guy` populism can be appealing, and it has played well in Texas. Yet occasionally there are flashes of meanness visible beneath it. While driving back from the speech later that day, Bush mentions Karla Faye Tucker, a double murderer who was executed in Texas last year. In the weeks before the execution, Bush says, Bianca Jagger and a number of other protesters came to Austin to demand clemency for Tucker. "Did you meet with any of them?" I ask.

Bush whips around and stares at me. "No, I didn't meet with any of them," he snaps, as though I've just asked the dumbest, most offensive question ever posed. "I didn't meet with Larry King either when he came down for it. I watched his interview with [Tucker], though. He asked her real difficult questions, like, 'What would you say to Governor Bush?'"

"What was her answer?" I wonder.

"Please," Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, "don't kill me."

I must look shocked - ridiculing the pleas of a condemned prisoner who has since been executed seems odd and cruel, even for someone as militantly anticrime as Bush – because he immediately stops smirking. "It's tough stuff," Bush says, suddenly somber, "but my job is to enforce the law." As it turns out, the Larry King- Karla Faye Tucker exchange Bush recounted never took place, at least not on television. During her interview with King, however, Tucker did imply that Bush was succumbing to `election-year` pressure from `pro-death` penalty voters. Apparently Bush forgot it. He has a long memory for slights.

APART FROM NAZI WAR CRIMINALS and al Qaida terrorists, what kind of man mocks a dead person? A dead person whose doom he sealed.

A man we elected president, that's who.

I never forgot that interview because it troubled me so at the time. Obviously, it didn't trouble me enough -- I voted for Bush twice.

I thought about casting a protest vote both times. I didn't, because I -- and people like me -- thought Bush was The Lesser Evil (TM) and that the ends justified the means, so long as the ends involved outlawing abortion someday.

That's what so many of us Christians have been about in casting our votes, you know, though we won't admit it. The ends justifying the means.

WE HOLD OUR NOSES and tell ourselves comforting lies, and then we start to warp our faith to ease our conscience. The sadist who mocked an executed sister in Christ? "He's pro-life."

The guy who won't "uphold the law" on immigration if that's going to hurt the bottom line of the captains of industry? "He's pro-life."

The enabler of "enhanced interrogation methods"? "He's pro-life. And 9/11 happened."

The guy who started a war because . . . I'll have to get back to you on that one. . . . "He's pro-life. And 9/11 happened."

George W. Bush, as it turns out, is merely "pro-the-right-kind-of-life." Silver-spoon-sucking life like his . . . and "Scooter" Libby's.

Karla Faye Tucker could just go to hell. And so can we. We who are ass-deep and sinking in all those means we ignored in our holy quest for still-unrealized ends.

Anarchy in a failed city

Back in January, I told you about this. Even built an episode of the Revolution 21 podcast around The Horror of New Orleans.

Well, this is the "criminal-justice system" not working in a failed city, with a non-functional government not working toward the betterment of a deviant civic culture. At least as much as whatever passes for such in Mogadishu on the Mississippi can be termed a "civic culture."

Read the following and be afraid. Either we get a handle on our cultural, educational and socioeconomic demons, or some version of this will make its way to your town.

And yours.

And yours, as well.

Here are the dispiriting details from the Times-Picayune:

Orleans Parish prosecutors on Friday dropped all charges against the teenager accused of murdering the drummer for the Hot 8 Brass Band in December, saying their key witness -- a 15-year-old girl -- refuses to testify.

David Bonds, 18, was charged with the second-degree murder of Dinerral Shavers, 25, a band teacher at Rabouin High School and a Hot 8 Brass Band member who was shot in the head while he drove his wife and two children along the 2200 block of Dumaine Street on the evening of Dec. 28.

Police said a feud between Bonds and Shavers' 15-year-old stepson sparked the fatal shooting -- and that Shavers was not the intended victim.

District Attorney Eddie Jordan's office may re-institute charges against Bonds at a later date under Louisiana law.

"If we can get the witness to cooperate," said Dalton Savwoir, Jr., Jordan's spokesman.

The collapse of the case brought strong reactions from both the police and the family of the victim. New Orleans police spokesman Sgt. Joe Narcisse said Friday that "a beautiful case" had fallen apart.

"Because the witnesses would not come forward, we have a killer loose on our streets," Narcisse said. "This is a perfect opportunity to point out the importance of citizen cooperation. We cannot do it alone."

The newly formed anti-crime group Silence Is Violence also issued a statement, which quoted Nakita Shavers, the sister of the victim, who joined the group after his death.

"My family and I are not satisfied with the investigation and prosecution that have taken place so far. I understand the DA's decision to dismiss today, in that this decision leaves open the possibility of reindictment," Shavers is quoted as saying. "I also understand the reluctance of the young witnesses to testify. It can be very intimidating, especially for someone so young."

The statement from Silence Is Violence called the breakdown in the justice system all too routine.

"Like many of you, we were shocked and disappointed--if not surprised--by the prosecutor's decision this morning to dismiss the case against David Bonds, the accused murderer of Dinerral Shavers," the group said. "While this case has always been particularly close to us, it is not, unfortunately, unique."

Bonds was arrested a day after the killing, Dec. 29, at his Dumaine Street home and later charged with Shavers' murder and the attempted murder of his wife and two children.

But Assistant District Attorney Kimya Holmes announced Friday at criminal district court that the girl who witnessed the killing is unavailable because her mother will not let her testify against Bonds.

Judge Raymond Bigelow accepted the state's motion to dismiss the charges and closed the case.

Prosecutors said they have been unable to even serve a subpoena to the state's witness, whose mother refuses to let her daughter cooperate.

"She will never allow her daughter to testify," said Anthony Satcher, a homicide investigator for the district attorney's office, on the witness stand Friday. "She said she'd rather be in jail."

The girl is not related to the Shavers family, prosecutors said, and is considered an "independent" witness necessary in order to win a conviction against Bonds.

Although the girl apparently testified before a grand jury in order for prosecutors to secure an indictment against Bonds, the 15-year-old's mother has adamantly refused to return her to court.

Testifying before a grand jury, a process led by the District Attorney's office that does not include the defense team, is far different than making a commitment to attend hearings for months until finally appearing in a courtroom to face the accused, his family and a rigorous cross-examination by defense lawyers.

Public defender Meghan Garvey has already filed motions to secure all attendance records and any disciplinary reports on the 15-year-old witness from her New Orleans high school, according to the court record, an example of the kind of scrutiny witnesses for the prosecution can find themselves under.

Since the witness, who was 14 at the time of the Shavers' killing, is a juvenile, it's unlikely any judge would allow the state to take any legal measures in an attempt to force her to cooperate.

The mother repeatedly ignored prosecutors' pleas for cooperation, Satcher testified Friday.

Shavers was shot behind the wheel of his black Chevrolet Malibu. His family was not injured as Shavers continued to drive for about four blocks with the gunshot wound. He died shortly after arriving at a local hospital that night.

The Shavers killing helped inspire some 3,000 city residents to march on City Hall in January, protesting the escalating murder rate and crime wave that has held neighborhoods hostage in post-Katrina New Orleans.

Silence Is Violence and Nakita Shavers called on police and prosecutors to bring new vigor to the investigation, and police vowed to continue working the case.

"This person is not gone from our radar," Narcisse said, of the teenage Bonds.

Bonds, has been a target of law enforcement before, but has thus far eluded punishment on a slew of arrests, according to court records.

Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.

Two car bombs defused Friday in London. Police suspect al Qaida ties and homegrown Islamic terrorists.

In Scotland on Saturday, two more Islamic terrorists -- police say in a related act -- crash an SUV into a terminal entrance at the Glasgow airport, then set it alight. The driver -- ablaze from head to toe and screaming "Allah! Allah!" -- takes a swing at a cop.

MEANWHILE, back in the British capital, the Black Knight the mayor warns Britons not to think poorly of Muslims. As if Jehovah's Witnesses are just as apt to blow people to Kingdom Come for throwing Watchtowers into the wastebasket.

Agence France-Presse reports the following with a straight face, but you know they're smirking underneath:

London Mayor Ken Livingstone called on Britons Saturday not to demonize Muslims after a double car bomb plot was foiled in the capital, amid fears of a Islamist terror threat.

At the same time he criticized Britain over its ties with Saudi Arabia, which he said had fuelled intolerance in the past through its Wahhabist form of Islam, creating a "major problem."

"In this city, Muslims are more likely to be law-abiding than non-Muslims and less likely to support the use of violence to achieve political ends than non-Muslims," he told BBC Radio.

"They have played a good and active and growing role in creating a multi-cultural society," he added.

He noted that terrorist acts had been carried out in London over the years by various groups including for example far-right groups. For years the British capital was wracked by violence by the Irish Republican Army (IRA).

"All I am interested in as mayor is that we try to prevent all acts of violence whether it is by a disaffected young member of the (far-right) BNP (British National Party), whether it is by an Islamist or a Wahhabist supporter," he said.

It was crucial to understand "that that doesn't mean that all white men are potentially a threat to society any more than all Muslims are," he added.

Covering iDay: Two approaches

iDay: I was torn between "This is sooooooo (expletive deleted) cool" and "It's an inanimate object, people! Besides, it will be better and cheaper in nine months! Get a (expletive deleted) life!"

Nevertheless, it's a cultural phenomenon (for better or worse) and it needed to be covered by the print and broadcast -- and Internet! -- media everywhere. Here's how a couple of newspapers did it online.

At the (Minneapolis) Star Tribune, there's no local story from the Mall of America to be found. Just the standard national overview off the wire. But that faux pas is forgiven, for on the Strib's community site, Buzz.mn, we have the inimitable James (Think outside the box? There's a box?) Lileks blogging and doing a video report. Here it is:

MEANWHILE, over at the Omaha World-Herald -- my local paper -- there's a serviceable local story (score an attaboy for getting the local angle), no blog (a.k.a., "live update" in World-Herald speak) and a competent, if formulaic, video.

Here 'tis:

LILEKS' VIDEO exemplifies what newspapers need to do to survive in a world that's both wired and starving for community -- it connects. It's personal. It's quirky. It has a point of view.

It's human.

And isn't human what we need in a world where we get more excited about handheld computer-phones than we do about one another? Isn't human what we crave, even when we don't consciously realize it?

In one another, we see a reflection of the divine, a reflection of He Who Completes Us.

iPhones are just another distraction to dull the ache of alienation. Which, come to think of it, is an angle I'd like to see some ink-stained (or silicon-saturated) wretch tackle the next time we have one of these People Go Nutso Over the Latest Thing feature pieces.

Some questions for webcasters

Dear webcasters,

A question, being that it seems there likely will be no timely legislative -- or perhaps even judicial -- relief for webcasters regarding the patently absurd Copyright Review Board royalty decision: At what point does this become a matter begging for civil disobedience, on the principle (St. Augustine via Martin Luther King) of "an unjust law is no law at all"?

Every five years, the entire industry -- an entire medium of mass communications -- is thrown into utter chaos by a regulatory structure guided by something akin to whim. It is like trying to build a skyscraper upon shifting sand.

Furthermore, the Digital Millennium Copyright Act treats similar media -- radio broadcast vs. Internet radio -- in a fundamentally unequal manner, maintaining a preferential system of no royalty payments (other than ASCAP, BMI and SESAC) for terrestrial broadcasting, moderate rights fees for satellite broadcasters and exorbitant fees for Internet media. To this layman, that doesn't seem to pass the "equal-protection clause" smell test, much less any basic-morality smell test.

So, given a "legal" environment where Internet broadcasting is screwed no matter what it does while others receive preferential treatment under the "law," when does the industry take matters into its own hands and say "non servium"? Pay nothing apart from ASCAP, BMI and SESAC royalties?

Does not this whole issue involve fundamental matters of justice and equal protection under federal law? And if webcasters decided not to play by unjust rules, would the government, could the government take legal action against everybody?

And at a basic level, wouldn't the cost of fighting and losing be exactly the same as that of playing by extortionary rules -- webcasters going out of business one way or the other?

Perhaps I'm all wet, but it seems to me those are some fundamental matters few people are talking about. With the exception, of course, of the record labels, who would dearly love to soak terrestrial radio, too. (But they'd need to change the law to be able to try it.)


In a 1967ish mood
some 40 years on,

The Mighty Favog

Who stole my patchouli oil, man?!?

Somebody stole my patchouli oil, man, so I'm having to go back to 1967 to get me some more.

Being that multitasking is an essential -- and the podcast does have to get done, you know -- I'll be doing the thing from 1967 this week. I'll be near Haight and Ashbury in San Francisco.

I'm the guy with the headband. No flowers in my hair, though. Sorry.

ANYWAY . . . we'll be hearing from the Beatles, of course, during our trek back to The Year of the Summer of Love. Weird to think of that being 40 years ago, which happens to be . . . now. Because we're back there.

Groovy!

Things get complicated quick when you start screwing with the space-time continuum.

Let's see, what else? Well, we have some well-known stuff and some rarities, too. F'rinstance, we have "Piece of My Heart" -- but it's the original (and stunningly wonderful) version by Erma Franklin.

As in Aretha's big sister.

And we also have some 13th Floor Elevators, some Vanilla Fudge, some Stones, some Spencer Davis Group and some Harpers Bizarre.

Harper's Bizarre?

HEY, 1967 was a big, big year. Room for a little bit of everything. You know?

Peace. Make love, not war. Fight the Power,

Be there. Aloha.

It's not madness. It's marketing.

HEADLINE:

Music industry attacks Sunday
newspaper's free Prince CD

TRANSLATION:

$#!* . . . why didn't we
come up with this first?

Well, it's like this. English music retailers are furious, and Prince's label is running for the hills because the whole bloody lot of them forgot how to commit marketing a couple of decades ago.

Now, a British newspaper -- a biggie in an industry just as desperate as the music industry -- is showing signs of relearning how to market itself, rejigger the broken advertising model and create a win-win situation for itself and Prince. It makes so much sense, it's no wonder the retailers are going nutso and the label is soiling its collective knickers.

Here's the scoop from The Guardian in London:

The eagerly awaited new album by Prince is being launched as a free CD with a national Sunday newspaper in a move that has drawn widespread criticism from music retailers.

The Mail on Sunday revealed yesterday that the 10-track Planet Earth CD will be available with an "imminent" edition, making it the first place in the world to get the album. Planet Earth will go on sale on July 24.

"It's all about giving music for the masses and he believes in spreading the music he produces to as many people as possible," said Mail on Sunday managing director Stephen Miron. "This is the biggest innovation in newspaper promotions in recent times."

The paper, which sells more than 2m copies a week, will be ramping up its print run in anticipation of a huge spike in circulation but would not reveal how much the deal with Prince would cost.

One music store executive described the plan as "madness" while others said it was a huge insult to an industry battling fierce competition from supermarkets and online stores. Prince's label has cut its ties with the album in the UK to try to appease music stores.

The Entertainment Retailers Association said the giveaway "beggars belief". "It would be an insult to all those record stores who have supported Prince throughout his career," ERA co-chairman Paul Quirk told a music conference. "It would be yet another example of the damaging covermount culture which is destroying any perception of value around recorded music.

"The Artist Formerly Known as Prince should know that with behaviour like this he will soon be the Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores. And I say that to all the other artists who may be tempted to dally with the Mail on Sunday."

IF THE RETAILERS and the label had any sense, they would have been giving away Prince's new CD at music stores all across the UK. And the world.

The stores would have been mobbed. All would be raking in the love from Prince fans. And those fans would be buying back catalog -- or other new releases -- with the cash they'd just saved.

But now they're not. They're going to blackmail Prince just like they go all Tony Soprano on their customers. That's called cutting off your nose to spite your face.

And what of The Mail on Sunday, newest distribution channel for major new releases?

The Mail on Sunday is going to sell a bloody boatload of newspapers.

Smashing!

If God can speak through an ass, then why not through the Voice?

When the ass saw the angel of the LORD there, she cowered under Balaam. So, in anger, he again beat the ass with his stick.

But now the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she asked Balaam, "What have I done to you that you should beat me these three times?"

"You have acted so willfully against me," said Balaam to the ass, "that if I but had a sword at hand, I would kill you here and now."

But the ass said to Balaam, "Am I not your own beast, and have you not always ridden upon me until now? Have I been in the habit of treating you this way before?" "No," replied Balaam.

Then the LORD removed the veil from Balaam's eyes, so that he too saw the angel of the LORD standing on the road with sword drawn; and he fell on his knees and bowed to the ground.

***

RUDY GIULIANI MANAGED to feign trepidation when a lightning strike knocked out his wireless microphone at one of the Republican presidential debates.

But now that God is talking directly to him in a far more shocking manner than Balaam being rebuked by his ass -- being rebuked as a Bad Catholic and poseur by The Village Voice, for pity's sake! -- he'd better manage to scare up some real fear and trembling. And maybe some weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, for good measure.

I'm just sayin'. Here's a bit of Balaam's Cover Story:

When Pope Benedict XVI attacked Catholic politicians in Mexico who supported abortion rights last month, Rudy Giuliani was asked for his opinion. The presidential candidate replied in the language of the church: "Issues like that are for me and my confessor. I'm a Catholic, and that's the way I resolve those issues, personally and privately."

Giuliani has invoked his Catholic heritage on Larry King; he's been described by The Washington Post as a "devout Catholic"; he's appeared on Fox News with the label "Catholic" floating on-screen; and he's handled a CNN debate question about a bishop who denounced him with a declaration unfamiliar to those who covered him as mayor. "I respect the opinion of Catholic and religious leaders of all kinds," he said. "Religion is very important to me. It's a very important part of my life."

The ex-mayor's newfound piety also includes a mantra about abortion that wasn't heard while he was in City Hall. "I hate abortion," he now says across America and, in a proposed 12-point plan, he declares that he's committed to decreasing the number of abortions. "I would encourage someone to not take that option," he says, though as a candidate for mayor he said he would pay for an abortion for his daughter. Today, he says it would be "OK to repeal" Roe v. Wade, though he hosted celebrations of its anniversary three times at City Hall. His wholesale reversal on Medicaid funding, late-term abortions, and parental consent are all part of a repackaging designed to soften not just his New York public record, but also the inconvenient details of his personal life.

Married three times, Giuliani simply isn't the Catholic candidate he claims to be. He can't have a confessor. He can't receive the sacraments of penance, the Eucharist, or marriage. While bishops disagree about whether or not a Catholic politician who supports abortion rights can receive the sacraments, there is no disagreement about the consequences of divorcing and remarrying outside the church, as Giuliani did a few years ago.

Young Rudy went through 16 years of Catholic education, flirted with the priesthood, and trekked to East New York to teach catechism lessons. The 803-page catechism—reissued in 1994 under the supervision of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who has since become pope—lays out the ways in which Giuliani's personal decisions have estranged him from the church. "Divorce brings grave harm to the deserted spouse. . . [and] to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them," reads the catechism. But it is remarriage, not divorce, that's a deal-breaker for Catholics. "Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture; the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery."

This may sound harsh in a culture where half of Americans divorce. The question, however, is not whether this church teaching is fair, or whether it's compatible with American social standards. The question is: Can Giuliani run for president as a Catholic—identifying with the swing vote that has picked the winner in virtually every modern presidential race—when he is so out of step with the church's code of personal conduct? We're all familiar with Catholic politicians who defy the church with their positions on issues like abortion or contraception. But Giuliani is the first major national figure to run for high office as a Catholic even though he has defied church law in his personal life.

"Any Catholic who remarries without annulment" assumes an "irregular status" within the church, says Monsignor Joseph Giandurco, who until recently was the canon-law expert at the seminary run by the Archdiocese of New York. Also a judge on the appeals court of the archdiocese's marriage tribunal and a canon-law adviser to Cardinal Edward Egan, Giandurco declined to answer questions about Giuliani individually, but speaking in general terms about someone with Giuliani's marital history, Giandurco added: "The marriage is not recognized by the church, and the person cannot receive communion or confession. He's not supposed to play a public role in the church." While a baptized Catholic is "Catholic forever," says Giandurco, a remarriage "breaks the covenant and objectively contradicts what the marriage bond signifies."

Giuliani's own history shows how well he understands that. When he divorced Donna Hanover in 2002 and married Judith Nathan a year later, he was at precisely the same crossroads with the church as he was in 1982. It's his actions then, when he took drastic steps to preserve his Catholic credentials as he navigated the breakup of his first marriage, that belie the Catholic claims of his current campaign.

OH, THERE'S MORE. Much much more. Like the priest friend he hired at Giuliani Associates after the guy became a priest-who-can't-function-as-a-priest friend. Because of allegations he liked to grope boys.

Yeah, after the Bush Nightmare, just the kind of judgment one wants in the White House.

The RIAA can download this

Yesterday, I heard a cable-news roundtable panelist remark that the United States most assuredly today is a plutocracy and an oligarchy.

Sounds about right to me: This country, and its government, is dominated by the wealthy and the powerful. That's the plutocracy part. And it's being run, often crookedly, by those plutocrats for the benefit of the plutocrats -- at the expense of ordinary Americans. That's the oligarchy part.

One example of this would be immigration, illegal and otherwise. The central question is not how many, and who, we ought to let legally immigrate to this country, for the greater good of all Americans. Including those immigrants who, the assumption used to be, would someday be Americans themselves.

How quaint. Now we ignore millions upon millions of illegal aliens because they're blackmailable, and thus will work really, really cheap and will keep their expectations in check and their mouths shut.

Great system. Employers pick up the extra profits; taxpayers pick up the tab for the "benefits package."

ANOTHER EXAMPLE of oligarchy would be this:

The recording industry sued Tanya J. Andersen, 44, in 2005, accusing her of violating copyright laws by illegally downloading music onto her computer. Andersen claims in a suit she filed last week in U.S. District Court in Oregon that the recording industry refused to drop its case after its own expert supported her claims of innocence.

Instead, industry officials threatened to interrogate Andersen's 10-year-old daughter, Kylee, if she didn't pay thousands of dollars. The intimidation included attempts to contact Kylee directly. A woman claiming to be Kylee's grandmother called the girl's former elementary school inquiring about her attendance, according to Andersen's suit.

The (Portland) Oregonian, in an article in today's paper, explains how the record industry's lawyers have been hounding the disabled single mother, who lives in Beaverton and -- coincidentally -- never illegally downloaded a solitary thing. Why? Because they could, and they thought she couldn't fight back.

Jonathan Lamy, a spokesman for the recording industry association, said he respectfully declined to comment on the specifics of Andersen's case.

But Lamy defended the recording industry's overall strategy to combat illegal file-sharing, which he said has stolen billions in revenues in the past few years. After taking on the Internet businesses that made it easy to copy music for free and mounting an education campaign, the industry was still losing lots of money, Lamy said.

"Despite all these efforts, there was still not a sense of risk by the individual person downloading music online," he said.

So the industry started taking legal action against individual computer users it accuses of illegally downloading music -- 21,000 people since 2003.

Tanya Andersen was one of those people.

KIND OF the record-label version of "shoot one, instruct a hundred."

But Mama's shooting back, and the recording industry shills dropped the lawsuit June 1.

She said she received a letter in 2005 from a Los Angeles law firm accusing her of illegally downloading music. As directed, she called the Settlement Support Center, which Andersen's suit called the "debt-collection arm" of the recording industry's campaign.

Andersen said she had never illegally downloaded music but was told she had to pay $4,000 to $5,000 or she would be ruined financially.

An employee said he believed she was innocent, according to the suit.

"He explained, however, that defendants would not quit their attempts to force payment from her because to do so would encourage other people to defend themselves," the suit says.

Andersen offered to have her computer inspected. Instead, the recording industry sued her.

The record industry claimed that she used a certain Internet name to illegally download music at 4:20 a.m. on May 20, 2004. Andersen searched the Internet for the name and easily learned that it belonged to a young man in Everett, Wash., who admitted on his MySpace account that he illegally downloaded music.

Andersen provided the information to the record industry, but officials responded by publicly accusing her of downloading a series of violent, profane, obscene and misogynistic songs. Andersen was an avid user of mail order CD clubs, so "defendants knew that Ms. Andersen listens to only country music and soft rock," the suit says.

The recording industry's expert finally confirmed that Andersen's computer had not been used to download music, but attorneys still demanded that she pay money before they would drop the case.

"They wanted it to appear publicly that they prevailed," the suit claims. "When Ms. Andersen declined to pay them, defendants stepped up their intimidation."

STREET GANGS AND THE MOB have a more highly developed sense of fairness and justice than this. And they do their own "enforcing." They don't fob it off on the courts, cynically turning the process of the law against the spirit of the law.

The lawsuit against Andersen went away only after her lawyers filed a motion to force the record labels' lawyers to ante up evidence that she illegally downloaded music. She continues to press her attack, though, seeking justice -- and reimbursement of legal fees -- from the courts the record industry attempted to subvert.

Here's hoping she gets more than legal fees. Tanya Records has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

That, however, is too much to hope for. We live in a plutocratic oligarchy, remember?

IF YOU ASK ME (which you didn't), there's only one way to fight rich bullies who sue their customers. Make them poor.

Quit putting money in their pockets. Don't buy new music from major labels. Do buy used music from your local independent music store -- you get music, the store makes more money than it does on new stuff, the labels get squat.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

An excellent question

"What would you attempt to do
if you knew you could not fail?"

Ideologues behaving badly . . . and TV as enabler

If this is the new standard of how we do politics -- and public policy -- in this country, I'd like to go back to reading and hearing about Paris Hilton, please.

In this clip from Hardball on MSNBC, we have a group of juveniles playing political games for profit, thrusting with faux moral outrage and parrying with bitchy disdain as the umpire and crowd leer and cheer: Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight! It's almost enough to get me started on that letter to Kim Jong Il, asking where the hell is that damned nuke-as-electromagnetic-pulse-weapon, already?

IT MERELY WOULD BE ANNOYING if not for the real issues facing the United States right now. As in the overrunning of this country by Mexican peasants illegally crossing our unsecured southern border, ready and willing to be exploited by unscrupulous American capitalists eager to drive down wages and run up profits.

All on the backs of blue-collar workers born here, raised here and fast becoming marginalized strangers here. Here in their own country.

The shocked, shocked Elizabeth Edwards and the snarky, catty Ann Coulter merely would be aggravating, if not for the thousands of American soldiers killed and maimed for no damn good reason in a deeply unjust, deeply unwise and deeply counterproductive war in Iraq. We sit on our fat asses in our overmortgaged suburban houses -- with SUVs we no longer can afford to drive -- and we get this for bread and circuses.

When, of course, we're not watching the Perils of Paris on E!

IF YOU DON'T HAVE the stomach to watch the clip, I understand. You're probably saner than I am. Still, here's a bit of the transcript (you're not gonna get off THAT easy):

Edwards: I'm asking you politely to stop personal attacks.

Coulter: How bout you stop raising money on the Web page then?

Edwards: It didn't start it did not...

Coulter: No you don't have cause I don't mind

Edwards: It did not start with that you had a column a number of years ago

Coulter: OK, great the wife of a presidential candidate is calling in asking me to stop speaking...

Matthews: Let her finish the point...

Coulter: You're asking me to stop speaking, stop writing columns, stop writing your books.

Matthews: OK, Ann. Please.

Coulter: OK

Edwards: You wrote a column a couple years ago which made fun of the moment of Charlie Dean's death, and suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said ask me about my dead son. This is not legitimate political dialogue.

Coulter: That's now three years ago --

Edwards: It debases political dialogue. It drives people away from the process. We can't have a debate about issues if you're using this kind of language.

Coulter: Yeah why isn't John Edwards making this call?

Matthews: Well do you want to respond and we'll end this conversation?

Edwards: I haven't talked to John about this call.

Coulter: This is just another attempt for –

Edwards: I'm making this call as a mother. I'm the mother of that boy who died. My children participate -- these young people behind you are the age of my children. You're asking them to participate in a dialogue that's based on hatefulness and ugliness instead of on the issues and I don't think that's serving them or this country very well.

[Applause from the crowd]

Matthews: Thank you very much Elizabeth Edwards. (Turning to Coulter) Do you want to -- you have all the time in the world to respond.

Coulter: I think we heard all we need to hear. The wife of a presidential candidate is asking me to stop speaking. No.

FIRST OFF, Coulter's shtick was old a couple of years ago. No one likes a B-I witch, and that goes double when the B-I witch is pimping herself out to a political party or ideology.

That said, Coulter's column in which she allegedly "made fun of the moment of Charlie Dean's death, and suggested that my husband had a bumper sticker on the back of his car that said ask me about my dead son" wasn't that bad. It was well within the bounds of political discourse, broadly condemning pathos as politics.

It's horrible that Charlie Dean Edwards was killed in a car wreck. But a dead son is about as much reason to elect a man president as his wife's sadly incurable cancer. In other words, no reason at all.

But still, it was nice to watch Coulter squirm, then cover herself in ignominy.

AND BEFORE WE GO and actually buy Elizabeth Edwards' "heartfelt" plea for civility in politics and in public discourse, does anybody remember this?

Obviously not.

'I'm as mad as hell. . . .'

From the Radio and Internet Newsletter:

Webcasters are speaking with a powerful voice today, as nearly all U.S.-based Internet radio streams have "gone silent" in a reaction to new royalty rates that threaten to decimate the majority of the webcast industry within weeks.

Webcasters of all stripes, from public broadcasters like KCRW to major webcast-only services like Yahoo! LAUNCHcast and Pandora, in addition to some of the country's major terrestrial simulcasters (including Greater Media, Saga Communications, and B-101/Philadelphia), are participating in today's "Day of Silence" to underscore the urgent need for Congressional intervention to keep webcasters alive.

Running up to today's event, national media outlets have been following webcasters' struggle against the excessive rates with growing attention and coverage. Today, that coverage, most of it highly sympathetic to webcasters' efforts, continues to pour out, including in the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, San Jose Mercury News, the Associated Press, the BBC, and more.

Many webcasters have blocked access to their streams, while others are broadcasting loops of ambient sound interspersed with PSAs urging their audiences to take action today by contacting their representatives in Washington D.C.

Looped continuously throughout the day, KCRW will broadcast a one-hour program titled "D-Day for Webcasters" that provides background on today's event and informs listeners how they can take action to help. Webcasters can send their listeners to KCRW to hear the program, or provide the following link to play the looped show (which starts at the top of every hour) in a new window:

http://www.kcrw.com/media_player_channel?channel=0

HD Radio: The "HD" must stand for "Half Dead"

Legendary radio programmer Lee Abrams is not impressed with HD radio. And if the man who made his name ushering in the heyday of some legendary rock stations -- for example, one of my all time favorites, WRNO, "The Rock of New Orleans" -- says HD radio is looking a lot like a boondoggle, I am inclined to listen.

Even if he has, as chief programmer of XM satellite radio, a horse in this race.

Anyway, Abrams says in his latest blog entry:

Got an HD Radio. What a piece of crap. In the MP3 player world, this particular unit looks like a Heath Kit from 1968. I’m sure there are cooler models, but the $59 one I saw was pretty bad. Fred Jacobs, a respectable consultant recently wrote about how HD radio programming is being thrown away. Well, you can add the hardware to the list of reasons that the HD boys better get their s*** together of they’re looking at AM Stereo---where you could hear static in BOTH channels!

A FEW WEEKS AGO, I was in a Radio Shack in one of the Omaha malls and wanted to check out their "Accurian" HD Radio. Check it out, not actually pay $159.99 (after rebate) for the thing, which is really just a basic stereo table radio.

After looking around the store a few minutes -- as unengaged staff stood behind the counter for an equal amount of time -- I found the thing on a shelf in the middle of the store, in the middle of rows of shelves holding various boomboxes and clock radios.

Turns out it was a wobbly, unattached-to-anything shelf -- as I discovered when I tried to turn the radio around to see the rear connections. Fortunately, my middle-aged reflexes were still quick enough to catch the radio -- and the shelf -- before anything hit the floor.

And if you realize putting a radio toward the back of a metal framed retail space in a metal framed megamall isn't exactly the best way to ensure clean HD radio reception . . . you know a lot more than the Radio Shack people. Who didn't even bother to hook up a better antenna than the included cheapo length of wire.

I managed to pull in exactly two HD signals, both on FM. I didn't manage to pull in the HD signal on the local 50,000-watt AM blowtorch. And if the regular programming on your average local radio station these days is less than compelling, trust me, the "HD-2" station piggybacking on the primary signal will be even less so.

IF YOU WANT a digital jukebox with no announcers and no sizzle, go buy an iPod. At least that will be your digital jukebox with no announcers and probably at least a little sizzle.

And that "digital-quality sound" everybody keeps hyping? Ask yourself: What exactly is digital quality? "Digital" quality depends entirely on the number of "digits" you put into a sound file, and that varies wildly in the "digital" universe.

In the case of HD Radio, it sounds like regular FM, just with a little less background noise and a little bit wider stereo separation. Your CD player will not be worried about losing the "digital quality" war with HD Radio.

So, given that the radio conglomerates are trying to sell us marginally better-sounding "digital quality" versions of the same old crap we increasingly aren't listening to -- and given that their marketing prowess does not exceed their programming prowess -- give Lee Abrams and all the other HDetractors a cigar.

This thing has AM stereo written all over it. In other words, a big, BIG flop.

AND IF YOU NEED even more proof, note that the manufacturer of probably the highest-quality portable and table radios out there, Tivoli Audio, is not rolling out an HD Radio model yet.

It is, however, rolling out two WiFi radio models. That's big, assuming the greed-crazed record labels and their associated lackeys don't kill off Internet radio first.

What people just don't understand anymore

Fifty years ago, Hurricane Audrey wiped out Cameron Parish, La., killing between 400 and 600 people. The survivors rebuilt.

Less than two years ago, Hurricane Rita wiped out Cameron Parish again. Here's how Charlie and Macilda Theriot -- ages 95 and 91, survivors of both hurricanes -- responded:

Charlie Theriot epitomizes the standard-issue Cameron Parish way of life: Live off the land, dodge the hurricanes, pass the torch.

Born north of the Mermentau River in 1912, he became a trapper and farmer like his daddy before him, raising cotton in the rich soil of the river plain and catching mink and muskrat in the marshes. Also in 1912, his future father-in-law and brother-in-law built, with wooden pegs, the sturdy two-story farm house in nearby Grand Chenier where Charlie and his bride, Macilda, eventually would rear their family.

When Hurricane Audrey took aim at Cameron Parish 45 years later, lots of grateful neighbors joined the Theriots in that sturdy house to ride out the storm.

"We had 26 people in the house for Audrey," Theriot recalled one recent afternoon. "People from five and six miles away came to that house."

When the water came in, everyone inside moved upstairs.

"There was a family across the road from us, and he brought his wife and son to the house," said daughter Lidian Richard, who was 11 at the time. "But he went back to his house to open the cow-pen gate. He said he didn't want his cattle to be trapped if the water came up -- and it came up so fast that he drowned. He never made it back."

Memories like that tend not to fade away in this place.

"I remember after the storm," Richard was quick to add, "some of the men left our house and went and rescued some people that were up in the trees, holding on to branches."

Survivors came to respect all the storms that would follow in ensuing years.

The hurricane of 1918 had blown the roof off Theriot's boyhood home, but Audrey was the one everybody remembered. By the time he reached his 90s, Theriot figured one galvanizing event like that was enough for him, his family and his community in his lifetime. Hurricane Rita had other ideas.

The Theriots evacuated for Rita like everyone else, and they spent about 2 1/2 months with a grandson and his family outside Lafayette before they got back home.

There was no house to go back to. But it was still home.

After a family friend made temporary arrangements for them up in Grand Lake, it didn't take long for Charlie, now 95, and Macilda, 91, to decide on a long-term plan.

"I had $34,000 worth of dirt brought in to raise up the property," he explained in a manner that suggested the decision was so obvious it needed no explanation. "We bought a double-wide trailer, and we're going back."

That, after all, is the Cameron Parish way.

THE "CAMERON PARISH WAY" is a sign of contradiction to modern-day combox warriors who say people like Charlie and Macilda Theriot deserve what they get for living where (fill in the blank here).

I think maybe the degree to which we cannot understand the "Cameron Parish way" more reflects on what is wrong with us as Americans today and not upon any shortcomings in the southwestern corner of Louisiana.

Or in the below-sea-level neighborhoods of New Orleans.

Or in the earthquake-prone cities of California.

Or in Tornado Alley across the Great Plains.

I think maybe our real problem is that we've put way too much stock in status, self and stuff, and not so much in who we really are, where we really are. Not to mention to Whom we really belong.

NO, THE PROBLEM is not that some (pick your collective epithet), live in places we think they oughtn't. The problem is that we can't understand why they do anymore.

Net rats flee bright light of bad pub

Well, that took about 24 hours.

Turning on the lights exposed all sorts of goings on in the world of TV "news," and all the network rats ran for a dark corner, their little rat windbreakers pulled up to hide their little rat faces.

This, it would appear, has ruined Paris Hilton's million-dollar get-out-of-jail payday.

Reuters has the story:

Paris Hilton appeared to be a celebrity without a spotlight on Friday after two major U.S. television networks snubbed the hotel heiress they initially fought over for a first post-jail interview.

An ABC executive said his network declined interview offers from the multimillionaire socialite after Hilton and her mother, Kathy, personally sought to secure a deal in a flurry of telephone calls to ABC News veteran Barbara Walters.

Meanwhile, rival network NBC issued a statement saying it, too, had informed Hilton's representatives that it was "no longer interested in pursing an interview with her."

Contrary to reports of a $1 million deal in the works, NBC said it was "never going to pay them any money."

CBS News, which had not been deeply involved in the initial tug-of-war for a Hilton interview, likewise said it was not interested.

The unexpected turn of events came as the Los Angeles County sheriff's department announced that Hilton would be freed on Tuesday, 23 days after she began serving time for violating her probation in a drunken driving case.

Fierce maneuvering to be first to get Hilton on national TV after her release came to light on Thursday in the New York Post, which reported that NBC had agreed to pay as much as $1 million for a "Today" show Hilton exclusive.

That report ignited a media frenzy over where the 26-year-old "celebutante" would make her homecoming TV appearance, how much it might cost and the propriety of news outlets paying -- directly or indirectly -- for interviews.

(snip)

But an ABC executive who spoke on condition of anonymity said the Hiltons informed the network earlier this week that they had opted for NBC because of a more lucrative offer to license accompanying family photos and video for up to $1 million, compared with $100,000 offered by ABC.

After the NBC deal fell through, the ABC official said, Hilton and her family sought to restart talks with ABC by reaching out to Walters in a series of phone calls to her home late on Thursday night.

"Barbara listened and, today, the executive producer of (ABC news magazine) '20/20' called (Hilton's father) Rick Hilton and told him that ABC News was not interested in an interview with Paris," the executive told Reuters.

HEH, HEH, HEH. . . .

Reality check

Paris Hilton gave E! News (talk about your contradiction in terms) a presumably free interview Thursday which contained the following gem, as reported by The Associated Press:

"I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won't even let me do that," she said.
"I'm not a criminal,
I'm not dangerous.
... It's hard but I'm stronger every day."

UH, EXCUSE ME . . . PARIS? Honey? I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just come out and say it, OK?

YOU.

ARE.

A.

CRIMINAL.

Like, that's why you're in jail. Duh!

You drove drunk, were duly tried and convicted, violated terms of your probation and got your ass thrown in the slammer. I know I'm just white trash, but that says "criminal" to me.

OR IS "CRIMINAL" a word the high and snobbish reserve for PWT and folks with dark skin who live in places like East L.A., Watts and Compton? Hmmmmmm?

A night in A morning with Paris? Looks like NBC's Johnny on the spot

From The New York Post:

NBC has agreed to pay as much as $1 million for Paris Hilton's first after-jail interview, which will appear on the "Today" show, The Post has learned.

Sources told The Post the sit-down will be conducted by Meredith Vieira the day after the heir-head is sprung some time next week.

The deal has infuriated ABC executives, the sources said, because they were banking on Hilton's first remarks as a free woman going to Barbara Walters, who has become close with Hilton's mom, Kathy.

ABC was the front-runner until NBC Universal boss Jeff Zucker personally called Hilton's father Rick and made the pitch, the sources said.

Hilton agreed to the interview, but said she'd only speak with Vieira because of "disparaging" remarks her co-host Matt Lauer made about her.

Early to podcast. . . .

Look! The podcast is up a day early this week! Will wonders never cease?

Actually, you get to enjoy the Revolution 21 podcast in all its musical glory 24 hours this week because I'm going to see BeauSoleil at the Omaha Summer Arts Festival tomorrow evening. Friday night is when I'm usually finishing up The Big Show and uploading it, so I just moved everything up a smidge.

Anyway, this week we're even more all over tha place than usual. Look for a tribute to when New Wave really was -- in other words, the real stuff of the late '70s and early '80s, as opposed to the soulless glop of the mid- and late '80s.

Also look for a walk on the Jazz side of life and a musical trip with the Big O hip.

Huh?

Just listen, you'll figure it out. Download now.

Be there. Aloha.

You may see me on TV with an illegal smile. . . .

Betty McManus, 53, was gracious enough to take a moment to speak with assembled TV reporters after a single-engine plane crashed in her Baton Rouge, La., back yard.

Her granddaughter, 15-year-old Betty McManus, also was gracious enough to speak with reporters showing up to cover the crash, which miraculously injured no one. The pilot walked away after being helped from the wrecked Cessna by a neighbor.

Southern hospitality truly is a blessing. And a curse.

See, while everybody was being helpful and gracious to pilot and press, no one remembered to get rid of the 14 potted marijuana plants in the back yard.

And after the more pressing matters were attended to, Baton Rouge police took the elder Betty McManus away to jail on felony marijuana-cultivation charges. She reportedly will plead "Won't you please tell The Man I didn't kill anyone, no I'm just trying to have me some fun."

The Advocate has the details:

Police found the plants Wednesday afternoon while they were working at the crash site at 3229 Canonicus St.

Betty McManus, 53, who lives in an apartment behind the house, was accused of growing the marijuana, police spokesman Cpl. L’Jean McKneely said. Darryl Jenkins, 51, who also lives in the apartment, was issued a misdemeanor summons on a possession of marijuana count.

The Cessna 206 crashed in the yard just after 10 a.m. after pilot Robin Tendolkar said the plane lost power, a Metro Airport official said Wednesday.

Tendolkar, an aerial photographer for Gulf Coast Aerial Mapping, had finished a 35-mile flight and had received clearance from the airport to land, said Bill Profita, an airport spokesman.

Soon after Tendolkar checked his landing gear, the plane lost power, Profita said. Why it lost power is under investigation by the Federal Aviation Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board.

Tendolkar, who was not injured, declined comment. Although he wasn’t injured, he had to be pulled from the cockpit by a neighbor who saw the plane go down and ran to help.
Donald Ray Henry said he was standing in his backyard on Canonicus Street talking to a friend when he heard the sputtering engine of a plane overhead.

Henry’s friend, Clarence McGarner, a Baton Rouge police detective, glanced up and said out loud to himself: “That plane is kind of low.”

Seconds later, the southbound Cessna flew right over Henry’s roof, grazed the top of a towering pine tree and crashed into a live oak tree three houses down the street.

The oak spun the plane around and it came to rest at 10:19 a.m. atop a downed tree branch.

“It was an almost perfect crash,” McGarner said.

After he saw the plane hit the tree, McGarner jumped into his car to call police headquarters and report a plane had gone down, while Henry ran toward the plane to check on anyone inside.

He found an alert pilot who was able to talk and help push out a broken window.

Numerous agencies, including the Baton Rouge fire and police departments, EMS and State Police, arrived at the crash site.

(snip)

Later that afternoon, police found the marijuana plants 10 to 15 yards from the plane.

“You never know when you’re going to have a plane crash in your backyard,” McKneely said.

I'M FROM BATON ROUGE, and I miss home. Nothing like this happens in respectably Midwestern and sedate Omaha (By God!) Nebraska.

The closest thing we've had here recently was last year's "Bare-Bottom Bandit," whose pants fell down as he drunkenly burglarized a liquor store, only to be caught red-handed and bare-assed by security cameras.

But a plane crashing in the 'hood, leading the cops to discover Ganja Acres? That, podna, only could happen in my hometown.

So if there's any lesson to be learned here, it has to be what the Baton Rouge police spokeswoman said: Don't grow pot because “You never know when you’re going to have a plane crash in your backyard.”