This pretty much covers it

You says you don't learn anything from TV?

Why, just this past weekend on Saturday Night Live, we learned that even Satan has his limits.

Skippyjon schools tots in Mayhem 101

It's celebrity story time at the library.

The guest of honor is a popular literary cat with an oversized head.

The room is full of little kids.

What could go wrong?

The downtown branch of the Omaha Public Library was about to find out, says the Omaha World Herald's Josefina Loza:

Children love Skippyjon Jones because he's adventurous and has a knack for getting in and out of trouble. And at the library, Skippyjon lived up to his reputation, giving a few dozen children an unforgettable eyeful.

Parents, teachers and nannies guided children to a carpeted area on the fourth floor of the library. They anxiously awaited the grayish-brown kitten's arrival.

Minutes before story time, Skippyjon finally walked out of a back room to greet the kids.

Many of the little boys and girls inched closer to the costumed cat, who sat near a librarian who was reading one of his books. In between readings, Skippyjon gave hugs and handshakes.

As Omahan Joanna Ziemba, a downtown child care instructor, stepped closer to the cat, she noticed something was wrong. His oversized eyeball had started to dangle from its socket.

Another child care provider tried to warn Skippyjon about his droopy eye.

"Oh, no, Skippy," she said. "Your eye is about to fall out.

Here, let me put it back in."

READ the whole thing to find out what happened next.

I ain't telling you any more because, frankly, I don't want you spewing your damn coffee all over my perfectly clean blog.

Thought I'd just throw this up here

I don't know why. . . .

Simply '70s: Jerry Vale's World

In 1972, Jerry Vale was the kind of guy who got played on your parents' favorite radio station.

My generation did not willingly listen to these stations in 1972, nor did we willingly watch the Jerry Vale's World special on TV that year.


Don't think that stuff didn't have an impact, though.

It had an impact on the creative forces behind SCTV in the late '70s and early '80s, and it had an impact on those of us who howled with laughter because we got the joke.

Realignment, as seen on Twitter

Click on picture for higher resolution

Wow! The inside dope on college athletics you can find on the Internets!

Simply '70s: He hates these cans!

Note: Some language NSFW . . . or for kids
In 1979, Navin Johnson's adoptive father explained the whole deal about the difference between s*** and Shinola to him . . . but sadly neglected to mete out any pearls of wisdom concerning snipers.

Or his "special purpose."

Them things happen. Particularly in The Jerk.

May Steve Martin live 100 years.

Just another day in the Big 12 10 9

Sorry, but if you're not from around these parts, you have absolutely no idea how much we Nebraskans are enjoying the continuing implosion of the Big 12 Conference.

Uh . . . 10.

Uh . . . 9?

Anyway, let's just say we told you so.

Headline of the year

I'm thinking up tons of dirty jokes and bon mots right now. Unfortunately, I can't use any of them.

I'll bet Channel 8 in New Orleans posted this item using Internet Explorer 6.

'You know Boots, cher? B-O-O-T-H-S'

Take a vehicle full of Cajuns in south Louisiana. Add beer. Season with a dash of camcorder. Add some more beer.

Then, cher, to pass you a good time, press the OnStar button.

Watch hilarity ensue.

These people were messin' with the OnStar man. I, however, know people who would do this for true with the OnStar man.

I mean, dem OnStar man got him a satemalite and all dat stuff. He damn well oughta be able to fine Barry an' dem's truck pullin' dem pop 'em up camper.

Dat's why you pay cash money for dat satemalite ting every mont.

The idiot is coming! The idiot is coming!

I don't understand why the YouTube video ended before we got to Conan O'Brien's joke about Sarah Palin.

What? Really? That wasn't the straight video of her interview? It was edited for comedic effect?

Life is so much more complicated today in the post-satire era.

You knew this was coming

This had to happen eventually, and Jimmy Fallon made it so with a little help from Stephen Colbert and. . . .

Every 1's a winner

Duh, WINNING!

Well!

Here's a question that scares me, frankly: Is mine the last generation to "get" the cultural assumptions that underlie the hilariousness of all the Jack Benny gags in this four-decade-old episode of The Lucy Show?

What were we talking about, again?

My life, in song.

And hey . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . podna, why did I walk into this room, again?

Simply '70s: Turning the world on with her smile

Fall 1970: I dunno . . . yeah, Mary Tyler Moore was great as Laura Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show a few years back, but is anybody really gonna buy a show about a "career woman"?

I give it half a season.

Mrs. Beamish be with you

The Twitters helped me find this video. Well, the Interwebs are good for something, then, ain't they?

For, you see, I am Mrs. Beamish. In church, the "sign of peace" gives me the willies, particularly when some snot-nosed kid has been sniffling and hacking his way through Mass.

And I hate tambourines. That goes double for rain sticks (if you have to ask, don't).

Frankly, as put by the heroine of Thomas Day's excellent book Why Catholics Can't Sing, "I don't believe in that s***."

I BELIEVE in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.

I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father.

I also believe that Marty Haugen is a liturgical lounge lizard, and David Haas, too. And I don't believe in heavy drinking before Mass, but don't think I haven't been tempted.

Mrs. Beamish, wherever you are, I'll escort you to the local, and we'll lift a pint or three. Amen.


HAT TIP: The Chant Café

'Take this, you swine!'

Because.

Just because.

Surely, nothing at work is so pressing that you can't take a little break, right?


P.S.: For whatever reason, this is best viewed in Firefox . . . and generally can't be at all in Internet Explorer. Go figure.

Truth > fiction? Almost always.

One of these clips is not like the others . . .

One of these clips just doesn't belong,


Can you tell which clip is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

Did you guess which clip was not like the others?
Did you guess which clip just doesn't belong?


If you guessed this clip is not like the others,
That's it's not from A Mighty Wind,

If you guessed Bill Daily was taping a pilot,
Lincoln . . . '75 . . . KOLN,

Then you're absolutely . . . right!

With profound apologies to Sesame Street

An Action NewsWitness update

True . . . true.

Now back to you, Blow Dry.

A child care thing goin' on

Parents: It's 6:30., do you know which cafe Mrs. Jones and your children are at?

Are they holding hands? Making all kinds of plans?

While the jukebox plays their favorite songs?