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That is all . . . as inexplicable as it is.

Teach your children well

Lincoln East really is a piece of work.

Only spoiled, suburban white people could smear Omaha South as basically a bunch of "wetbacks," then make the spectacle all about themselves and how terribly enlightened they're being in, as a student said on TV today, "repairing ties with Omaha South and the Latino community."

Uh . . . what ties?

AND NOW THIS, courtesy of the Omaha World-Herald, from the coach of Lincoln East's soccer team. Get ready for a big "OY VEH!" by the time you reach the end:

Lincoln East Coach Jeff Hoham issued a statement Thursday and sent a letter to Omaha South Coach Joe Maass regarding the “green card'' incident after the state boys soccer championship game.

Hoham apologized for fans' misbehavior in throwing homemade green cards after East defeated South Tuesday night.

And he said he was not talking about the cards when he told Maass after the incident, “Fans do silly things. . . . Make sure your kids know it wasn't intentional.”

Hoham said he was referring to East fans' running onto the field and to East players' penalties when he made the remarks, according to the statement.

“In several media reports, it would appear that I was not concerned about the actions related to the display of green cards,” Hoham said in the statement, issued by the Lincoln Public Schools.

“In reality, my comments were in reference to something totally different. After the game, I was attempting to apologize for our fans running onto the field, and for my players' penalties during the game.

“I wasn't aware at the time of the events that had transpired with the horrible racist act of fans throwing green cards on the field.

“Please know that those comments do not reflect my thoughts regarding the green card incident, as I deplore racism at any level. Prejudice based on stereotypes is always intentional, and I certainly didn't mean to state that it was unintentional.”

IT WOULD SEEM that -- as he sat at the keyboard lying through his teeth to cover his ass -- Coach forgot that reporters witnessed the postgame exchange. This is known as the public-relations equivalent of "Hey, y'all! Watch THIS!"

These things never end well.

After being approached on the field by reporters and asked about the green cards, Maass walked from South's celebration over to where Hoham was standing with his team. Maass said the two had already shaken hands after the game.

With reporters watching, Maass brought up two things with Hoham — how East fans were waving U.S. flags, and the green cards that had been thrown on the field. Maass asked Hoham what he thought about that.

Maass turned and began walking away when Hoham said fans do silly things. Hoham said, “Make sure your kids know it wasn't intentional.”

Maas looked over his shoulder and said, “It never is,” and kept walking.

In his prepared statement, Hoham wrote, “When events like this despicable act occur, it is hard to deal with them, and often painful for us to reflect. However, I believe that a greater good can come from what we all learn from this experience. We can raise our awareness of what stereotyping and discrimination does when it goes unchecked, and we can work actively together to prevent it in the future.”

ALL TOGETHER NOW . . . "Oy veh!"

See, it's all about the perps, never the victims. That's the American Way . . . at least when the perps are privileged perps.

It's hard to be from the offending school. It's painful to reflect upon the really, really bad s*** we did. We can raise our awareness.

Boo f***ing hoo. It hurts to be exposed as an a-hole. I'll alert the media.

Oh, wait. Lincoln East already did.

I LOVE how East is "taking ownership" of this, just so long as "taking ownership" doesn't really involve, you know . . . taking ownership.

As I said Wednesday, they say it takes a village to raise a child -- or a high school. And in this case, Lincoln East's village sucked.

With the "stellar" example put forth today by Coach Hoham, the long-range forecast for the Lincoln East community calls for a close race between bullshit and chickenshit, with chickenshit winning by the width of a green card.

Crackers earn a red card

Lincoln East soccer fans are patriotic.

Above, we see them showing their American pride in an Omaha World-Herald photo taken at East's exhibition game against the Russian national team.

It's heartwarming how today's youth have not forgotten such old-fashioned values as . . . pardon me? What?

It wasn't an exhibition game against the Russians? Is this an old picture then, from right after 9/11?

IT WAS TAKEN Tuesday night? At the state championship match? Against Omaha South?

Well, what's the deal with the American flags, then?

What do you mean, "Same deal as with the green cards thrown on the field after Lincoln East won in overtime"?

Excuse the interruption, y'all. I've been instructed to look at today's World-Herald. Let's you and I check it out together:

Several Lincoln East students were suspended Wednesday in connection with a postgame incident that sullied the high school’s Tuesday night boys state soccer championship match against Omaha South.

The students admitted making and distributing “green cards,” a reference to immigration status aimed at South’s largely Latino soccer team.

Also Wednesday, dozens of East students began forming a group to “plan action steps to mend bridges with the South High community,” said Dennis Mann, East’s associate principal.

“Their foremost concern is not how to protect our reputation, but how to heal hurt relationships with South,” he said.

East won the game 4-2 in overtime. But what happened afterwards marred the victory.

Dozens of green paper rectangles were tossed into the air as fans and players celebrated on the field at Creighton University’s Morrison Stadium. The “green cards” lay at midfield behind the Lincoln players and coaches as they received their trophy and medals.

As soon as the ceremony ended, several East administrators and a tearful student rushed onto the field and hurriedly scooped up the paper.

The incident offended South staff and supporters, many of whom had attended graduation ceremonies just before the game.

(snip)

Mann said that only one person, whom he would identify only as a “Lincoln East fan,” actually threw cards on the field.

“One fan threw a stack of cards,” he said.

He said video of the postgame celebration confirmed that.

When pressed whether the person was an East student, an adult or a college student, as some reports have claimed, Mann would say only, “I’m going to call him a Lincoln East fan.”

“We’re taking ownership of this,” he said.

East students made the cards and distributed them, and some other students knew about it and didn’t stop it, Mann said.

The students’ original intention, he said, was to have the crowd hold up the cards en masse during the game, the way a soccer referee would hold up a red or yellow card.

“Very inappropriate, and very hurtful,” Mann said. “But we were able to put the kibosh on that, thanks to some students who did step up (and tell administrators). But we were appalled and ashamed to see the cards come out on the field.”

He said the students who had planned the green card stunt did not know about the fan’s plan to throw them onto the field.

“The kids who have had disciplinary action taken against them are also agreeing to be part of the solution,” Mann said. “They have agreed to take actions, including writing letters of apology, to help heal the hurt that they have caused.”

Lincoln East Principal Susan Cassata said East’s athletic director sent an apology to South’s athletic director. Cassata said she planned to apologize to South Principal Cara Riggs.

HOLY CRAP. That ain't good.

South, and the whole South Omaha community, had been so excited to get to the championship game. Everyone was so proud. So happy.

I got a smile on my face reading this story in Tuesday afternoon's paper:

Everywhere record-setting soccer goalie Billy Loera goes, from the hallways at Omaha South High School to the streets of his South Omaha neighborhood, he hears the cheers.

“Teachers, staff, alumni, people I don't even know at school come up to me,” Loera said. “They tell me, ‘You're making us look real good. Thanks a lot.' ”

By qualifying for Tuesday night's Nebraska state soccer championship game against Lincoln East, Loera and his teammates have given a reason to cheer to a community that sorely needs one.

South High hasn't won a state championship in any sport since a basketball title in 1990. The Nebraska Department of Education recently designated South as one of 52 “persistently low achieving” schools in the state. And some may take a dim view of South Omaha and its growing Latino population, despite the area's lively historic business district and other assets.

That might explain why cheers, tears and text messages flew out of Creighton's Morrison Stadium and spread through Omaha to thousands of Packer supporters after South beat Creighton Prep in a semifinal Saturday night.

“People are just excited that South made it to a championship game,” said Rich Gonzalez, who played baseball, basketball and football at South in the 1980s. “It's about bringing back South High tradition, bringing back some of the state tournament wins that we used to have. But the biggest thing is it's good for the community.”

Gonzalez, a South Omaha native who is a captain on the Omaha Police Department, said people from the area “know we have a great community here; they know what the community's about.”

“When you're from South High, you have the pride,” he said. “No matter what, when they're losing, when they're down, you still follow 'em, you still care about 'em.”

IT SOUNDS LIKE these kids from South -- or South Omaha -- didn't deserve what they got from the East fans, who I assume don't throw lutefisk at the Gothenburg Swedes . . . or BMW key rings at Omaha Westside.

And then I saw this story in the paper:

It's 7:15 p.m. at the Omaha Civic Auditorium. Three blocks away at Morrison Stadium, music is blaring in preparation for the Class A state boys soccer final, scheduled to start in exactly one hour.

Soon Manny and his five senior teammates will be under the lights, competing for Omaha South in the school's first state championship game in any sport in 20 years.

But first first they must get to Morrison Stadium. First they must listen to speeches about journeys and goals and ideals.

Manny wants to enjoy the moment. He does. But he would rather beat Lincoln East.

A class officer takes the podium, recounts memories of “dreaded stairwells and delicious cafeteria food.” She thanks her parents. She reminds her classmates to notice life's beauty. She cries.

Manny Lira leans forward in his chair, fidgeting like a 8-year-old who missed recess. He's in the front row about 300 classmates are behind him and he already has soccer socks and spandex under his creased, black slacks. Time is ticking.

6:56 was “Pomp and Circumstance.”

7:10, “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

7:21, the school choir.

7:26, the principal.

7:32, an Omaha Public Schools administrator.

“Graduates, I implore you to dream,” she says.

Lira can't take it anymore. He looks at his teammate, Billy Loera, and grumbles.

Roni Huerta saw this coming.

Several weeks ago, the South athletic director contacted the Nebraska School Activities Association and introduced a potential problem. The state championship game is scheduled for 7:15 p.m. May 18. South High's graduation is scheduled for 7 p.m. May 18.

Some of these kids are the first in their family to earn a high school diploma. Some of these kids if forced to choose would choose the graduation ceremony, Huerta told the NSAA.

But really, she was only covering her bases. South had never won a state tournament soccer game, let alone a state championship game.

Then the Packers made state. Then they beat Elkhorn last week in a shootout. Then they beat their nemesis, Creighton Prep, in another shootout.

The NSAA moved the championship game back an hour, to 8:15 p.m.

FIRST IN their families to get a high-school diploma? That's, like, inspiring.

And still some Lincoln East fans are taunting these kids with American flags, are throwing faux "green cards" on the field? Just because Omaha South is 60-percent Latino?

Well, if there's some stereotyping to be done, let's try this: The Lincoln East yahoos sound like a bunch of overprivileged, white-bread, suburban rich-kid wankers to me.

In fact, taunting minority students for sole reason of their "otherness" differs from this in no significant manner at all:


LITTLE ROCK. Central High School. 1957.

I wonder whether, amid the other verbal and physical abuse, the white kids thought it would be really funny to pitch watermelon slices at the "Little Rock Nine"? After all, they were . . . black.

For some people, that's reason enough to be a boor and a bully. Just like for some at Lincoln East, any amount of bad behavior is justified by the twin towers of last refuge for rank scoundrels -- the First Amendment and "Hey! They're Mexicans!"

Administrators at Lincoln East say they have the matter in hand. They say suspensions were meted out.

East's associate principal said the incident Tuesday night "turned what should have been a joyful Wednesday at East into 'a day of mourning.'"

No, East. You don't get to mourn. Your kids were the perps; you get to be ashamed. Very, very ashamed. There's a difference.

You get to be ashamed because it was on your watch -- and on the watch of the parents of these unstellar members of the East "community" -- that these morons decided to "represent" for the Spartans by letting their "white trash with cash" freak flag fly. What is to be mourned is that "freak flag" happened to be the Stars and Stripes.

They say it takes a village. Well, in this instance, East, your village sucked.

THAT'S WHY I think the Lincoln East "community" has forfeited its moral right to decide on how its soccer miscreants get disciplined. By all rights, I think that "honor" should go to the Omaha South faculty and student body.

Si, se puede!

The Lincoln is weird. I do not like the Lincoln.

I likes sweet pertaters. I had me a hankerin' fer sweet pertaters when I gots off the Greyhound bus in this place called the Lincoln in this other place called Nebrasky, but it might be the other way around because this place is funny, because I ain't seen nothin' likes it before.

I never been out of Pumpkin Center before but I tol' Mama that they was a big world out there and I wanted to see it and I was 34 years old -- because Papa said I was bornded when Jerrald Forde was president and that was 1976 and Miss Hilda at the center said that was 34 years ago, and that's how old I am. That is old enough to go see the world, and I had some money saved up from delivering the Hammond Daily Star, so I tol' Mama I was going to see the world and maybe I would go to Omaha where Jerrald Forde was bornded, and that's in Nebrasky, too, you know, or maybe in Lincoln, because I sometimes get things backwards and get confuseded, so I packed my bag and rode my bicycle to Hammond and I got on the Greyhound that the man said would go to Nebrasky where Jerrald Forde was bornded.

THE BUS got to Lincoln today, and people said Lincoln was real close to Nebrasky, and you can walk to Omaha from there to see where Jerrald Forde was bornded. Anyways, I decided I would stay in the Lincoln for a while because it is interesting, and the people are real different here, and I ain't never seen nothing likes that before. They talk funny and everything, and they seem to be a lot more white but people looked at me funny and somebody with long hair and glasses like my grammaw and a little sack on his back -- or maybe it was a she because I get confuseded -- cussed me when I axed them where was all the nigras and did they know where I could get me some sweet pertaters.

Then a passed by this building that was way taller than anything in Pumpkin Center, and it might be as tall as the state capitol in Baton Rouge but I don't know because I ain't never been there, but I asked somebody and they said it was the state capitol and I said no it ain't because this ain't Baton Rouge, and they said yes it was, too, because this was Lincoln and it was the capitol building of Nebrasky. And then I said I thought it lookded likes a big dick, and they got all flustered and walked off, and I axed them what's the matter, ain't they seen a big dick before and they said they was going to call the police and I got scared and runded away. I sure wish I had me some sweet pertaters.

I kept walking but I would hide when I saw a police car because I didn't want to get throwded in jail, because Mama always said that was where they kept the nigras and the justice of the peace always said you didn't want to mess with them people. But I kept gettin' hungrier and hungrier, and I really wished I had me some sweet pertaters, and I forgot where the bus station was exactly but it was gettin' dark and I saw this building called the Chamber of Commercial, that's what the man I axed to read the sign told me it was, and it sounded like a fancy eatin' place Daddy told me about once that he went to in Baton Rouge, so I went in because I figgerd that if anyplace in the Lincoln had sweet pertaters, maybe this would be the place and I still had $3 left not counting my bus ticket and a savings bond I got for delivering the Hammond Daily Star to people in Pumpkin Center, and that ought to be enough to get me a nice mess of sweet pertaters. And maybe a RC Cola, too.

And I was right that it was a fancy eatin' place because they was all these people in there dressed all fancy and they was all eatin' them fancy little sammiches and them little weenies with toothpicks through 'em and they was drinkin fancy wine but they was all watchin' the TV but they wadn't no football game on, it was the news show and they was showin' numbers all across the bottom of the TV and some people was even lookin' at these little computer books on tables, and I axed where the waiter was and where was all the nigras but them people just looked at me funney like they just pooted in their pants a little bit and they walked away from me, but they ought not a did that because I didn't poot in my pants or nothin' and I tried to tell 'em that but then somebody said can't somebody do somethin' about the homeless people comin' in there, and I said I didn't see no nigras, what the hell was they talkin' about?

I think these people in the Lincoln are a little bit odd ducks and I for the life of me don't know how Jerrald Forde come from such a weirdo place because my Daddy said he was the last normal president we ever had except for President Raygun, because Bill Klinton would screw everything that wore a skirt and Bamack Obamer was a damn communiss Muslin. But it's true, these peoples in the Lincoln and I guess in Nebrasky too is all weirdos because they act likes they ain't seen no normal Americans before like we have in Louisiana.

I even seen the mayor of the Lincoln in the Chamber of Commercial restaurant place and he was the weirdest of all them weirdos because I think he was one a them hermorphadites what was dressed just like a damn woman, and his wife was dressed like a g**damn truck driver, that's what daddy woulda said about her back home, that she was dressed like a g**damn truck driver, only she looked like even more a he-she that the mayor did in his dress and long hair and lipstick, only a opposite he-she, maybe it is that the mayor Chris Biteler is a she-he and his wife is a he-she, I don't know, because I think that all the people in the Lincoln is a bunch of damn oddballs.


This is a picshure of Biteler the mayor.

This is a picshure of Mrs. Biteler his he-she wife.

They was happy about a arena passing but I said it didn't look like no ESPN was on the TV, and they all looked at me like I was stupid or somethin'. I never did get my sweet pertaters and I think I messed up coming to this Nebrasky place where all the peoples is freaks and he-shes and she-hes, and I can't understand where they hiding all their nigras, I guess it ain't no wonder a body can't get no damn sweet pertaters here.

I want to go home to Pumpkin Center people are not weirdos there and I ain't never seed no he-shes and she-hes there. I will go back there as soon as I can find the Greyhound station, I do not like Jerrald Forde no more, and I miss home. The Lincoln can go to hell.

The accidental Van Gogh

If you're at a party, and you're having a fine time but suddenly get the notion to tell some chick she's fat . . . don't.

It could be that there's a very good reason she packed on a few extra pounds.

Like . . . SHE EATS GUYS' EARS!

YOU CAN just go ahead and file this story from The Associated Press under "People in Lincoln, Neb., Are Just Weird."

And hungry, obviously:

Police say a 24-year-old Lincoln man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn't like being called "fat."

Police spokeswoman Katie Flood says officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

He told them that he'd been bitten at a party.

Flood says officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man or one of his friends told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers say Godfrey then tackled the man and bit his ear.

Flood says the ear chunk was not found.

NOW, Miss Godfrey -- who is kinda cute for a girl who absolutely, definitely IS NOT fat, not in any way, shape or form . . . no way, no how, no siree, Bob -- is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law and must not be prejudged, etc., and so on (and please don't eat my ear).

But if it does turn out that someone saw her putting a little bit of mustard on a chunk of ear and scarfing it down like a Cheez-Whiz canapé, the young lady has just lost the argument.

How 'Crazy' Dave got that way

Well, boys and girls, I see it's time for yore ol' Uncle Favog to pull the rockin' chair up next to the checker board on the pickle barrel and have a heart-to-heart with you young'uns.

Now, when you get a little older and make yore way into the world, you'll find that life can get complicated. Sometimes, nothing will make much sense to you, and you just won't be too sure about what to do or who you kin trust.

And maybe, child, you'll be governor of a small Midwestern state when you find nothin' makes sense no more, an' you don't know what friendly face to turn to ta get re-elected.

That's when you need to remember this one simple thing yore ol' Uncle Favog is about to be a-tellin' ya.

When you lie down with loons, you might catch crazy.

LOOK AT ol' Dave Heineman now. He didn't use to be "Crazy" Dave. Heckfire, he once was just another average, everyday Republican governor a-panderin' to the lowest common denominator.

And one day, he found that the lowest common denominator was bat-s*** loony. But he kept on a-panderin' . . . and that's how he got to be "Crazy" Dave, a-sellin' them used cars on the TV when gas is $8.50 a gallon an' nobody's a-buyin'.

I remember it like it was yestiddy . . . must have been back in ought nine -- no, it was back in 2010, it was. I read about it in the Omaha World-Herald, which was this thing folks called a newspaper. . . .

A political spat over whether Gov. Dave Heineman is a true tea party patriot took another turn Wednesday.

The governor said the only reason he had signed a February letter with 46 other governors asking for more federal stimulus funds a tea party no-no was to show solidarity with his colleagues.

“I was trying to be supportive of my fellow governors, who face much more difficult challenges than (Nebraska),” Heineman said Wednesday.

The issue was raised after Heineman, who is seeking re-election, visited a Lincoln tea party gathering Tuesday. The tea party movement opposes the federal stimulus program, as well as other things seen as making government bigger, such as the recently passed health care overhaul bill.

Heineman said that if he'd been given a chance, he would have voted against the stimulus program. But, lacking that opportunity, he supported taking the $1 billion allocated for Nebraska so the funds would not be sent to other states.

His explanation prompted a howl of hypocrisy from State Sen. Heath Mello of Omaha, a Democrat who supported the stimulus plan.

“If he doesn't support the stimulus money, he should send the money back and not sign a letter saying he wants six more months of it,” Mello said. “This is hypocrisy at its worst.”

Maybe not safe from the Catholics

Well, perhaps Omaha's heritage Christian station, KGBI -- which bills itself as "Safe for the Whole Family" -- isn't quite safe from the Catholics after all, as Spirit Catholic Radio (KVSS) seeks to better its position on the FM dial.

BASED ON the vague information on the KVSS website and a review of signal-contour maps for the city's 100 kilowatt FM stations, I had thought that The Big O (KOOO 101.9 FM) might be KVSS' acquisition target.

But after delving into old contour maps and applications for construction permits on the Federal Communications Commission database (dating from before KGBI moved its main transmitter to northwest Omaha from Springfield, Neb.), it looks more and more like Spirit Catholic Radio actually wants to buy KGBI.

And we know that, in other markets, Salem Communications -- KGBI's owner -- has been willing to sell.

IN MILWAUKEE, Salem is selling off its "Fish" branded contemporary-Christian music FM station, as well as its AM station. And in 2006, it sold its Jacksonville, Fla., contemporary-Christian station to Cox Radio. And that's just two of what might be many more sales by Salem.

From Radio Ink, here is a story dated March 4:

During Salem Communications' fourth-quarter and full-year earnings conference call Tuesday, CEO Ed Atsinger detailed Salem's sales since its last call -- Salem has announced the sales of WHKZ-AM/Warren, OH, for $600,000; KTEK-AM/Houston, for $7.8 million; and WFZH-FM and WRRD-AM/Milwaukee, for $11.8 million -- and said, "We will continue to monitor the performance of our broadcast stations generally, and we are actively engaged in negotiations, I can say at this time, for the sale of some additional properties."

Atsinger also updated the progress of Salem's newest format, Spanish-language Christian Teaching & Talk, saying the company now has four stations on the air in the format, and "the early results are encouraging, both in terms of revenue and station operating income." He said more stations can be expected to move to Spanish Christian Teaching & Talk in the coming months.

Later, Atsinger discussed the state of the industry, saying, "We're fully aware of the challenges facing the radio industry. Salem clearly faces the same challenges." He said Salem has been hit particularly hard by the problems in the subprime mortgage market "because of our target demographic attracting a substantial number of advertisers from the mortgage and home-improvement industries." He said, "Many of these advertisers are gone. We believe that they will come back, but we expect that this particular challenge will remain with us for some time."

WOULD KGBI be one of those "additional properties"? That now looks likely, given what Omaha evidence there is to go on. Salem purchased what was then The Bridge from Grace University for $10 million in late 2004.

Let's take another look at that "proposed coverage" map KVSS posted on its website:

And now, a contour map for KGBI -- when the main transmitter was on its Springfield tower -- from a 2004 application for a minor change to its FCC license:


The 60 dBu signal contour is the same as the KVSS proposed coverage area. And, looking at the previous post, we note that the pattern is identical to that in The Big O's signal map.

There's a reason for that. According to an old KGBI filing with the FCC, when the station was on the Springfield tower, it shared an antenna with KOOO. Same power, same antenna, same coverage pattern.

So, I'm changing my bet back to what my original suspicion was before digging into the FCC database the first time -- KVSS is trying to buy KGBI. And the Catholic station intends to move back to the Springfield transmitter site to better cover Lincoln and southeast Nebraska.

I think. If it's not KGBI, it's got to be KOOO. And vice versa.

As always, stay tuned.