When in Russia, you have only one job. Don't grab anybody's pu**y.
And Donald Trump couldn't do it. Allegedly. According to a dossier compiled by a former British intelligence operative who specialized in Russian affairs. From information provided by Russian sources.
Americans, including the media, haven't nailed down the information yet, but U.S. intelligence takes it seriously enough to brief the president -- and the president-elect -- on it.
ACCORDING to the man who will lead this country and literally hold your life in his pu**y-grabbing mitts (cough, nuclear codes, cough), the media reports on this are "FAKE NEWS - A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!" But in your heart, you know it's probably true, right?
Because that's who Donald Trump really is, right?
Donald Trump, it seems to me, is something else, too -- the purest expression today of American popular culture and its core values. He was a "reality-TV" star, a best-selling "author," the subject of constant attention, fascination and emulation.
Then we elected him president because he's Donald F***ing Trump, who Tells It Like It Is and will Make America Great Again.
The only thing Trump will make America is Amerika.
In doing so, he and our new Russian overlords will have hung us with out own immoral, dysfunctional rope.