The Bob

What I love about Omaha is that if you can't find something to do on a nice summer Sunday evening, you just aren't trying very hard.

Yesterday, a picture perfect day just cried out for taking a leisurely stroll to Iowa. So the missus and I did . . . brand-new Nikon Coolpix camera in hand.

And thanks to the new Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge across the Missouri River, you now can walk from downtown Omaha to Council Bluffs, Iowa, without the hassle of drowning in the Muddy Mo or dodging big rigs on the I-480 bridge.

Plus, you have the extra, added advantage of some really nice views of the Omaha skyline from the Iowa side of the bridge. I've been told this is what Council Bluffs wants to be when it grows up.

Of course, some refuse to focus on the advantages of a peaceful walk to our neighboring state, as opposed to a hair-raising, traffic-dodging, legally questionable scamper across the river on the Interstate.

Or the whole sinking and drowning thing on the river, sans boat.

And I think I really like the new digital camera.

And that's the way he was. . . .

Uncle Walter is dead.

That's a big thing if, like me, you grew up in a city that had only two television stations -- either Walter Cronkite or Huntley-Brinkley -- in a time before cable. For the most part, ours was a Cronkite house.

And that's the way it was in network news.

I WASN'T yet three on Nov. 22, 1963, when Uncle Walter (above) told a nation its president had been murdered. But I can guarantee you I was watching, both from my dim memories of that day, and because Walter Cronkite's first CBS bulletins on the tragic events in Dallas interrupted the popular soap opera As the World Turns.

As the World Turns was my mother's "story."

When I learned of Cronkite's death, I was preparing the previous post, reveling again in his coverage of Neil Armstrong's first footsteps on the moon, just as the CBS anchor reveled in that moment. It somehow felt fitting that he would leave us now, 40 years after one of our -- and his -- finest hours.

I could go on but won't. It seems to me all you need to know about Mr. Cronkite -- assuming you are too young to remember him from his work and his ubiquitous television presence more than a generation ago -- is this:

In Sweden, television news anchormen are called Kronkiters. In the Netherlands, they are Cronkiters. And the American term "anchorman"? That was coined to describe Uncle Walter, "the most trusted man in America."

May God rest his soul.

Here's the story from The Associated Press:

Walter Cronkite, the premier TV anchorman of the U.S. networks’ golden age who reported a tumultuous time with reassuring authority and came to be called “the most trusted man in America,” died Friday. He was 92.

Cronkite’s longtime chief of staff, Marlene Adler, said Cronkite died at 7:42 p.m. at his Manhattan home surrounded by family. She said the cause of death was cerebral vascular disease.

Adler said, “I have to go now” before breaking down into what sounded like a sob. She said she had no further comment.

Cronkite was the face of the “CBS Evening News” from 1962 to 1981, when stories ranged from the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to racial and anti-war riots, Watergate and the Iranian hostage crisis.

(snip)

His 1968 editorial declaring the United States was “mired in stalemate” in Vietnam was seen by some as a turning point in U.S. opinion of the war. He also helped broker the 1977 invitation that took Egyptian President Anwar Sadat to Jerusalem, the breakthrough to Egypt’s peace treaty with Israel.

He followed the 1960s space race with open fascination, anchoring marathon broadcasts of major flights from the first suborbital shot to the first moon landing, exclaiming, “Look at those pictures, wow!” as Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon’s surface in 1969. In 1998, for CNN, he went back to Cape Canaveral to cover John Glenn’s return to space after 36 years.

“It is impossible to imagine CBS News, journalism or indeed America without Walter Cronkite,” CBS News president Sean McManus said in a statement. “More than just the best and most trusted anchor in history, he guided America through our crises, tragedies and also our victories and greatest moments.”

Man on the moon

If you don't hear this week's episode of 3 Chords & the Truth, there's a good reason for that. There isn't one . . . but just for this week.

Instead of doing the Big Show, I'm on the moon. It's July 1969, and once again I am 8 1/2 years old. Walter Cronkite is delivering the big news on CBS -- if you have to ask what the big news is, something's wrong with you -- and I'm sitting in front of the big Magnavox console TV watching history.

Some say 1969 was a time of turmoil. It was.

BUT THANKS to men like Neil Armstrong, Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin and Michael Collins -- the crew of Apollo 11 -- it is easier for us children of the Space Age to remember the '60s as a time of wonder. Greatness is strapping an entire planet onto your Saturn V rocket and carrying it with you to another world, allowing us to transcend our baser instincts, overcome our petty squabbles and fears -- even if only for a week or so.

Compared to such magic, all the ugliness that is our earthly stock and trade couldn't stand a chance.

People say America's best days are behind her. That might be so; it probably is so. I was blessed, however, to live when they weren't. When Americans reached for the stars, and men made it to the moon.

We as a nation once did these things, and my generation always will hold the memory of them close to our hearts.

One of these things is much like the other. . . .

Alerted by neighbors complaining of the stench coming from the little white house with the unkempt yard at 2857 Ida St., Omaha police Sunday broke out a window to get inside.

Allowing a swarm of blowflies to get outside.

In a bathroom, officers found severely decomposed products of conception in a bathtub, along with instruments designed to dismember the remains for disposal. The biological material had been covered with kitty litter to absorb the stench.

As far as they could tell, medical examiners say, the body had not been cut apart.

The legs and arms, however, had been bound with duct tape.

If this grisly scene had taken place 15 miles south, at Dr. Leroy Carhart's clinic in Bellevue, Neb., it would have been just another day in the late-term abortion business.

If it had taken place 12 years earlier, Angela Manns would be seen as courageously exercising her constitutional right to "choose," and woe unto any busybody who would tell her what to do with her own body.

Or that of her child.

BUT THE GRISLY END of Angela Manns' little boy, Michael Belitz, didn't come 15 miles south and 12 years earlier. It came sometime after the boy -- described as a "genius" and a great kid by his principal -- finished sixth grade at Minne Lusa Elementary School. The potential of his life was cut off after 12 years out of the womb, instead of 20-odd weeks inside it.

Michael Belitz, the "product of conception" of a tryst between an alleged drunk and an alleged addict, never did make it to the College World Series with his best friend and his best friend's mom.

He never did get to spend another weekend with his father -- a man with a bad liver and past accusations of methamphetamine use -- who had re-entered the child's life and was trying to make the most of it.

And he never did get to graduate as valedictorian, or go to college, or get married, or have children.

MEANWHILE, neither is Angela Manns being hailed as an upholder of the right to control her own body, nor of the right to choose whether or not to be a mother. Prosecutors, in fact, are charging her with first-degree murder, and the county attorney is trying to decide whether to seek the death penalty.

If prosecutors are right and Manns did hatch and carry out a plan to kill her son, circumstances suggest it was the senseless act of a tormented and desperate woman. Going by what has been reported in the Omaha World-Herald, Angela Manns -- and by extension her son -- had a dire existence:

Interviews with Michael's family suggest that problems in his home life were apparent well before friends say they last saw him in mid-June.

Angela Manns — who was born Angela Arbogast on Feb. 8, 1963 — worked as a cashier at the University of Nebraska at Omaha from 1999 until 2007, and bought the white house at 2857 Ida St. in the summer of 2003.

Earlier, Manns had given up two children for adoption, including her oldest daughter, Carrie, when the child was 3, and a son at birth.

Manns kept a daughter, who now is a teenager, and Michael. According to court records, the daughter ran away from home in 2007 and eventually went to live with Carrie, now 28.

Carrie, who agreed to comment on the condition that she be identified only by her first name, reunited with Manns in 2006 and tried to maintain a relationship with her biological mother.

Carrie's family grew close to Manns' remaining two children.

“When we first met her, she seemed normal,” Carrie said of Manns. “But the more we got to know her, the more we didn't want to be around her.”

Manns avoided attending family get-togethers and often would stay up late into the night painting her living room, tearing up carpet or doing yardwork. She drank heavily and frequently lost her temper with the children.

Dirty dishes piled up in the sink, and the refrigerator and cupboards were mostly empty.
Her half-sister told Carrie that Manns woke her up one morning by beating her with a broomstick until it broke.

“Some days, she'd never get out of bed or she'd stay up for three or four days at a time,” Carrie said. “A lot of people only knew a part of her. ... If you were inside and with her for a day or two, you saw a whole different person.”

I GUESS YOU might say she had her reasons. Allegedly.

Then again, we all have our reasons for committing evil in the hope that good might come of it, right? We have our reasons, the abortionist has his reasons, and mothers have their reasons for passing a death sentence on the lives within . . . just like Manns apparently had for, authorities say, carrying out a death sentence on the child she bore 12 years ago.

A senseless murder? When does it ever make sense for a mother to choose death for her child? How does Michael Belitz' death make less sense than what Leroy Carhart does for a living -- less sense than the taking of any innocent life?

What is sensible about a culture that places the line between a constitutional right and homicide somewhere along the birth canal? That's not the reasoned application of civilized standards; that's the law of the wild, where the big critters kill and eat the little critters.

At least in the wild, the big critters can cite "got to eat to stay alive" as a reason. Not so for us. And we thought we had outgrown "might makes right."

The question at hand in River City is this: Ultimately, who is the victim of a societal double standard? Is it Michael Belitz? Or is it Angela Manns . . . allegedly?

WE OMAHANS live in a city, a state and a country where we have plenty of money and desire for McMansions, multiple automobiles, electronic gadgets and overpriced concert tickets but not enough money or civic will to operate a Department of Health and Human Services capable of protecting vulnerable children.

We Americans have run up a massive national debt not while making sure women have every reason to welcome their unborn children -- or not kill those already born -- but instead while . . . doing what, exactly? Fighting imperial wars of choice? Creating a land of senseless excess where the second-richest man in the world pays a lower income-tax rate than his secretary?

What kind of people, at long last, decide to tackle health-care reform but only if -- as a condition of expanding access to affordable treatment -- we can mandate federal funding for abortion?

One on side, we have "progressives" so enamored of death as a solution to the problems in women's lives that they insist on provisions that almost assuredly will doom the entire push for health-care reform. On the other, you have "pro-life" conservative activists railing against pro-abortion provisions in the House and Senate bills, mainly as a pretext for sinking a "socialist" scheme they wouldn't have backed anyway.

Despite how many "good reasons" for abortion that affordable, universal health care might eliminate.

But we all have our reasons -- Don't we? -- for embracing death as an answer for the problems of life.

If a jury finds that Angela Manns killed her little boy (for reasons that seemed really good to her at the time), let's not merely say, "Ah, because legal abortion exists, she. . . ." No, what we need to acknowledge is the evil deep in the crooked little heart of every man . . . and woman.

Evil that leads us to confuse principle with the sophistry candy-coating our desire to revert to the law of the jungle "in just this one instance." Because it's easier that way.

It was easier, at least so authorities suspect, for a disturbed and alcohol-addled woman to kill her son rather than straighten up and fly right. Than it would have been for her to call her eldest daughter and ask her to take on young Michael for a while.

Just like it's easier for us to have an under-resourced, beleagured social-services agency -- one where kids too often slip through the cracks and into the abyss -- than it is for us to commit the willpower and the funding to save the children.

For it is better for us that millions should die instead of our illusions, so that the consumer society may not perish.

So much for Crime Stoppers

Single? Female? Hot? Under 16?

For a good time, call 911.

Ask for the AIM handle of Omaha police officer David M. Kass. It has been credibly alleged by LaVista, Neb., police that he's the guy for gals too old for the Jonas Brothers but too young to remember Nirvana.

At least so says the Omaha World-Herald, which probably needs to devote a special online index to stories about OPD officers hanging out on the wrong side of the law:

An Omaha police officer was arrested Wednesday afternoon, accused by La Vista police of initiating a graphic online sexual conversation with a person authorities say he believed to be a 14-year-old girl. On the other end was actually a La Vista detective.

David M. Kass of Omaha was taken into custody after investigators served a search warrant on his home, according to the La Vista Police Department.

Police siezed [sic] Kass's computer. It will be forensically examined.

Specifically, Kass is accused of enticement by electronic communication device, a felony with a maximum sentence of five years in prison, a $10,000 fine, or both.

Kass 25, graduated from the Omaha police academy in fall 2006.

SIGH. On a less snarky note, I'd be really interested to see some research on the arrest numbers -- by year and then broken down by age for each year -- for various sex crimes.

It seems to me there's been a lot of arrests lately of pervs under 30. What I'd like to get a handle on is whether this has always been so, or whether a young-perv trend is something we all can look forward to for a generation raised on pornography.

How do you think John Daly got his start?

Carrie Nation and Billy Billie Sunday took their campaign against demon rum -- and demon whiskey . . . and demon beer -- to Nebraska's demon-regulating panel today, seeking to save unsuspecting Omaha children from possession by evil spirits somewhere between the water(ing hole) hazard and the big windmill.

AFTER ALL, it's a proven fact that kids can develop lifelong addiction from watching Mom and Dad have a cold one on the miniature-golf course. And, remember, today's plastered Putt-Putters are tomorrow's drunken golf-cart drivers.

As a matter of fact, the siren song of the liquor-soaked road to perdition is so strong that I had the overwhelming urge to climb into a bottle just reading this story in the Omaha World-Herald:

Officials with two groups opposed to teen-age drinking told the Nebraska Liquor Control Commission that while similar family-oriented businesses already have liquor licenses, giving one to the Boulder Creek Amusement Park would further risk mixing underage customers with grown-up alcohol.

"We need to send the message to our children that alcohol is not the center of all social life, and that we don't need alcohol to have a good time," said Susie Dugan of PRIDE Omaha Inc., a group that seeks to keep kids from using drugs and alcohol.

Dennis Schuett, a partner in the Boulder Creek mini-golf/batting cage complex near 142nd and S Streets in the Millard area, said he has been forced to seek a liquor license because competitors for corporate outings already have them.

UNFORTUNATELY, Miss Nation had the fairness under the law argument going against her here. So it was left to Rev. Sunday and her Plan B argument:

Schuett and his attorney, Mike Kelley of Omaha, cited the Pizza Machine, the Fun Plex, Skate Daze and Dave & Busters as similar, family-oriented amusement facilities that sell liquor in the Omaha area.

A representative of another group opposed to teen drinking, Diane Riibe of Project Extra Mile, told commissioners that while that was true, the bigger issue was the wisdom of allowing liquor licenses "on every corner of this state."

BECAUSE we all know that if we can only try Prohibition -- or at least some half-assed local imitation of it -- one more time, crime will vanish, men will quit beating their wives, teen sex will give way to Wednesday-night church, rehab centers can close their doors and no one will ever wreck a car again. Just like the nirvana we experienced from 1920 through 1933.

Just like raising the drinking age to 21 has eliminated binge drinking on college campuses everywhere. And the last high-school keg party took place when . . . 1985?

Fortunately, the commission voted to give Boulder Creek that liquor license. And frankly, I really could use that drink about now.

Government by flim-flammery

When a hurricane comes, you need to watch out for the snakes after it goes.

They'll be all over, displaced by the storm and by rising water. Usually, folks are careful around tarps or piles of debris, because you never know when you're going to grab hold of a cottonmouth, copperhead or water moccasin -- or, more accurately, when one's going to grab hold of you.

After Hurricane Katrina, at least one Army three-star added the Louisiana capitol to his list of reptilian hiding places.

One day in late September 2005, Lt. Gen Russel Honoré rang up Gov. Kathleen Blanco. The plan was to tell her his men had restored New Orleans' Charity Hospital to working order.

THE PLAN was to get the city's biggest hospital back serving a city where precious little of anything still worked.

What Honoré didn't plan on was falling into a pit of vipers with a plan of its own -- to shake down the federal taxpayer for every possible penny. And now Honoré, retired a year and a half, has a plan of his own -- he's spilling his guts and yelling "rat" . . . uh, "snakes" to The Associated Press:

"'Ma'am, we got the hospital clean, my people report ... if you want to use it,'" Honore recalled telling Blanco. "Her reply to me: 'Well general, we're not going to open it, we're working on a different plan.'"

Honore's revelation raises questions of whether state officials used Katrina as an excuse to leverage federal financing for a new public hospital.

It comes as state and federal officials continue squabbling over how badly the hospital was really damaged and how much federal recovery funding should be allocated to it.

The state wants $492 million for a new hospital to replace the Depression-era building as part of a proposed $1.2 billion medical complex. The Federal Emergency Management Agency has offered $150 million for repairs. The dispute is on appeal at FEMA headquarters.

Blanco said she could not remember the conversation with Honore. She said she didn't know the military had scrubbed Charity until she was contacted by the AP.

But she said Honore's comments struck her as out of context. "I would not have made that statement because I would not have the first idea of having other plans for Charity at that moment," Blanco said.

Honore suggested that money, not medical judgment, was at the heart of the decision.

"This is about business, man," Honore said. "This is about rich people making more money. This is not about providing health care."

AND WHILE LOUISIANA shuttered a perfectly functional teaching hospital and world-class trauma center, FEMA and doctors were stuck trying to turn an abandoned downtown shopping mall into an emergency room. Private hospitals were stuck with a tidal wave of sick, uninsured, poor people.

A city is stuck to this day with a critcal lack of health-care facilities.

One "reform" governor later, Louisianians are stuck -- still -- with the same ol' same ol', complete with all the pathologies and deprivations stemming from that deviant status quo.

And President Obama is stuck dealing with his own private Chechnya . . . a thinly veiled criminal enterprise on his southern flank masquerading as a governmental subdivision. Obama to Putin in Moscow last week: "So, Vlad, how did you squash the bastards again?"

HONORÉ, however, isn't the Army's only star-studded squealer. Gen. William Caldwell of the 82nd Airborne Division had something to tell the AP, too:

About 150 soldiers and a team of medical professionals worked to get the hospital running, Caldwell said.

Meanwhile, a German military team's pumps sucked water out of the basement. Air sampling found no contamination — a concern, considering the flooding and bodies in the flooded morgue, Caldwell said.

Caldwell recalled telling Honore the hospital was nearly ready to receive patients. "We were actually thinking of having a ribbon-cutting ceremony, give a thumbs up and turn it over to the health care professionals," Caldwell said.

But then, Caldwell said a decision came to stop the cleanup.

Dr. James Moises, a former Charity emergency room doctor who helped clean the hospital after Katrina, said Charity was made usable, and the medical staff was eager to see it back in use.

Moises said state officials used Katrina as an excuse to close Charity and ask FEMA for the money to build a new medical complex. Moises said: "It was their orchestrated plan. It was, 'How can we manipulate the disaster for institutional gains?'"

DAT'S LOOSIANA for you! Some of us were loathe to believe that our home state's pols, apparatchiks and business leaders could be that crooked in the wake of its greatest disaster ever.

Stupidly, we thought Charity really had been ruined, and that reopening it wasn't an option.

Naively, we thought that even Louisiana could resist using unspeakable tragedy as just another excuse for a shakedown -- an opportunity to trick unsuspecting American taxpayers into building geegaws to adorn its politicians' résumés.

We thought it was only right that the federal government rebuild what its flood-control negligence destroyed. And, indeed, the Army fixed Charity Hospital within a month.

It was good to go.

But that wasn't good enough for some in the Gret Stet. And officials were perfectly willing to let hapless New Orleanians die rather than go back what they had no problem using previously.

AND NOW Louisiana's new reform governor, Bobby Jindal, is happy to flim-flam the feds in the same manner as the unreformed Blanco.

In the face of state pols and hospital officials so vile -- a state so corrupted that it sacrifices its poor upon the altar of Greed as it seeks to pocket money from the collection plate -- the question suddenly isn't "How much do we pay Louisiana over Charity Hospital?"

Instead, the question Barack Obama and FEMA ought to be asking themselves is "What would Putin do?"

Dammit, the doctor told me to cuss!

F***ing-A! You damn well know this MSNBC report hits the son-of-a-b****ing nail on the f***ing head!

Peggy Loper doesn’t know why, but she’s sure that the rapid hissed repetition of her favorite expletive somehow dulls the pain when she’s hammered her thumb rather than the nail she’d aimed for.

“Generally I start swearing even before the pain actually registers,” says the 48-year-old student from Salem, N.J. “And usually, the ouch-ouch dance, where I’m hopping from foot to foot, goes along with it. People have told me that I should try deep breathing, but I personally prefer to swear.” The F-bomb is her curse word of choice; that hard consonant at the end is particularly satisfying, she explains.

As it turns out, Loper may be right. British scientists have shown that swear words can have a powerful pain-killing effect, according to a new study published in the journal NeuroReport.

The researchers originally thought that swearing would make pain worse by focusing a person’s attention on the injury and its implications. To prove their hypothesis, they set up an experiment with 67 college students.

The students were asked to plunge their hands into frigid 41-degree Fahrenheit water for as long as they could stand the pain. Half were told to repeat their favorite curse word while their hands were submerged. The other half were asked to repeat a neutral word describing a table, such as solid or brown, while keeping their hands under water. Then the whole experiment was repeated with the two groups switching types of word. (Favorite swear words were, as you might guess, the ones starting with "F" and "S." But since the subjects were British, the researchers also got an earful of "bollocks.")

SO, THERE. Honey, I'm not a white-trashy, vulgar, low-class person. I am just withstanding pain -- of both the physical and mental varieties -- in a rational, systematic and medically appropriate manner.

If you don't like what you hear when I've stubbed my toe (or have just gotten off the phone with my mother), remember that I'm just doing what needs to be done. So back the @#!$ off!

GOP gets its John Wilkes Booth on

Richard Nixon should have known his "Southern strategy" would come to this.

Four decades ago, cynical men put the "party of Lincoln" in the bigoted hands of the old Confederacy for the sake of electoral success, and now the South has had its revenge against the Great Emancipator yet again. First John Wilkes Booth, Confederate sympathizer from Maryland, and now Audra Sigler Shay, Arkansas-born moonbat from Louisiana.

In 1865, Booth put a bullet in Abraham Lincoln's brain. In 2009, Shay put one in Abraham Lincoln's party.

In the latter case, it was a mercy killing.

Nevertheless, there is something deeply weird about Saturday's election of Shay as chairman of the Young Republicans, and I'm not referring to her age -- 38. It's that someone as openly callous toward the aspirations and humanity of a people once seen as glorified farm animals has risen to a leadership position of a party whose icon took a nation to war against itself to stop slavery's spread and then -- in 1863 -- began to dismantle slavery itself.

THAT WAS the party of Lincoln then.

The party of Lincoln now -- at least as envisioned by a Louisiana paranoiac and race-baiter -- busies itself laughing at rants against "the mad coons," musing about lynching effigies of black presidential candidates and asserting that the president of the United States is some sort of pinko commie who hates the nation he leads.

From an updated Friday blog post by John Avlon on The Daily Beast:

Now, The Daily Beast has obtained more troubling details about her online musings—despite clear attempts by Shay to scrub her social-networking pages clean. Specifically:

* In October 2008, in the wake of news that an effigy of Sarah Palin was being hung outside an affluent Hollywood home as an offensive Halloween decoration, Shay replied, returning to the “LOL” style that she employed after the “coons” comment: “What no ‘Obama in a noose? Come on now, its just freedome [sic] of speech, no one in Atlanta would take that wrong! Lol.”

She picked up the thread again the next morning with a clarification and a new insight. “Apparently I could not spell last night. I am wondering if the guys with the Palin noose would care if we had a bunch of homosexuals in a noose.”

* Posting and endorsing a conspiracy-theory video that attempts to prove that Obama believes he can only “ensure his own salvation” and “fate” if he helps African Americans above whites, complete with Barnum-esque captions (“LISTEN AS HE ATTACKS WHITE PEOPLE”).

* Numerous posts in which Shay says that President Obama is “anti-American” and has “disdain of this country.”

Collectively her comments are products of an increasingly common GOP mind-set I call Obama Derangement Syndrome, the right-wingers’ version of a virulent strain of obsessive presidential hatred that many liberals exhibited during the Bush years. Symptoms include comparing the president to Hitler and ascribing to him every evil and unconstitutional intention imaginable. It is accompanied by the belief that such a partisan fever is patriotic.

AH . . . the trivial pursuits of small minds. Like that of the Young Republican chairwoman from New Orleans.

And locals thought a city councilwoman from the Crescent City, Stacy Head, was off her nut when, in an old E-mail of hers, she ranted "EVERY F****** THING IS ABOUT RACE IN THIS S***HOLE OF A CITY!"

Could be that Councilwoman Head was crazy like Jeremiah. Nobody wanted to hear what he had to say, either.

Be that as it may, it does appear that every f****** thing is about race with this s***head of a Republican official who, by the way, got her new gig with the backing of the Republican governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal. That Jindal, an Indian-American, didn't throw the apparatchik with the diarrheic keyboard under the streetcar says much about the cynicism of the GOP's erstwhile Boy Wonder -- it was Kathleen Blanco's playing to racial fears about the dark-skinned Jindal that likely sank his first bid for governor in 2003.

Then again, if you're from Louisiana, what's the fun in deviance if you can't take it viral? Here's Avlon once again, this time from a Sunday TDB post:

Perhaps less remarkable than the outcome–new Young Republicans Chairman Audra Shay bragged on her Facebook page that she had pledges from the majority of delegate going in–was how the vote played out. Yesterday’s election was closed to members of the press, but The Daily Beast has pulled together an account of the vote, and the runup to it, and the details are shocking. Some highlights:

* Shay’s opponent, Rachel Hoff, was the subject of an ugly sexual innuendo whisper campaign that questioned her reasons for supporting civil unions.

* Shay’s electoral slate, dubbed Team Renewal, battled desperately–some likened it to intimidation–and, ultimately, successfully to block a motion that would have allowed delegates to cast their votes by secret ballot, for fear they’d lose.

* Near-fistfights on the floor, and finally something of a boycott, as some of Hoff’s slate of candidates lower on the ticket chose to remove their names from the ballot after her defeat.

“They just took a vote that may have set the party back 30 years,” said the co-founder of HipHopRepublican.com, Lenny McAllister, speaking from the floor of the Hyatt convention hall. “They just voted for a candidate who has a demonstrated tolerance for racial intolerance. She has joked about lynching and then claimed to be a victim. As a black man, I still don’t see what’s funny about that.”

The Daily Beast’s revelations about the 38-year-old Shay over the past week–most notably, her positive response eight minutes after a friend likened the Obama administration to “a bunch of coons”–hovered over the convention, according to participants. "The convention was chaos because of the controversy," said one delegate. Her younger opponent, Rachel Hoff, became the reform alternative to Shay’s candidacy, but as Hoff got traction, an ugly online whisper campaign against her began. An anonymously built temporary Web site mentions Hoff’s alleged involvement in improperly notarized absentee ballots for South Dakota Senator John Thune, but quickly stoops lower. Hoff’s support for same-sex civil unions seems to be the real scandal, expressed in lil’ Lee Atwater tones:

Unfortunately, it doesn't end there with Hoff: As one of only a very few Young Republicans nationwide in favor of Civil Unions, Rachel Hoff attempted to convince the YRNF in 2007 to adopt a stance IN FAVOR OF CIVIL UNIONS. Although Rachel was not wearing a dress like her female counterparts, but her typical suite (sic), her attempt was met with ridicule and frustration. It was overwhelmingly shot down and left the idea in many delegates minds of: Why would Rachel Hoff support Civil Unions?

Note the all-caps for her stand IN FAVOR OF CIVIL UNIONS, a brave stance entirely consistent with the party’s stated belief in individual freedom (and well short of conservative icon Dick Cheney’s support for gay marriage). And then there’s the weird 1920’s-era anti-feminist dig at her for “not wearing a dress like her female counterparts.” And the last sentence, with all the subtlety of a Tom DeLay sledgehammer. It’s an exceptionally ugly piece of insinuation and propaganda.

WHEN IT COMES to politics, irony picks up where logic and positional consistency leave off. Gee, if only Shay's people could have portrayed Hoff as a lib'rul, dyke Negress, maybe their gal coulda scored a landslide.

Sometime around 1972, Nixon and the bosses of the GOP decided Honest Abe was for suckers, and they laid the party down with Bull Connor's police dogs to turn the "Solid South" from Democrat to Republican. It worked for a while.

But the fleas it picked up in Louisiana are going to be a killer.

Time to cut out our national cancer

Newsweek says Attorney General Eric Holder is leaning toward appointing a special prosecutor to investigate the Bush Administration's torture regime.

Praise God.

Holder, 58, may be on the verge of asserting his independence in a profound way. Four knowledgeable sources tell NEWSWEEK that he is now leaning toward appointing a prosecutor to investigate the Bush administration's brutal interrogation practices, something the president has been reluctant to do. While no final decision has been made, an announcement could come in a matter of weeks, say these sources, who decline to be identified discussing a sensitive law-enforcement matter. Such a decision would roil the country, would likely plunge Washington into a new round of partisan warfare, and could even imperil Obama's domestic priorities, including health care and energy reform. Holder knows all this, and he has been wrestling with the question for months. "I hope that whatever decision I make would not have a negative impact on the president's agenda," he says. "But that can't be a part of my decision."

(snip)

Holder began to review those policies in April. As he pored over reports and listened to briefings, he became increasingly troubled. There were startling indications that some interrogators had gone far beyond what had been authorized in the legal opinions issued by the Justice Department, which were themselves controversial. He told one intimate that what he saw "turned my stomach."

It was soon clear to Holder that he might have to launch an investigation to determine whether crimes were committed under the Bush administration and prosecutions warranted. The obstacles were obvious. For a new administration to reach back and investigate its predecessor is rare, if not unprecedented. After having been deeply involved in the decision to authorize Ken Starr to investigate Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky, Holder well knew how politicized things could get. He worried about the impact on the CIA, whose operatives would be at the center of any probe. And he could clearly read the signals coming out of the White House. President Obama had already deflected the left wing of his party and human-rights organizations by saying, "We should be looking forward and not backwards" when it came to Bush-era abuses.

Still, Holder couldn't shake what he had learned in reports about the treatment of prisoners at the CIA's "black sites." If the public knew the details, he and his aides figured, there would be a groundswell of support for an independent probe. He raised with his staff the possibility of appointing a prosecutor. According to three sources familiar with the process, they discussed several potential choices and the criteria for such a sensitive investigation. Holder was looking for someone with "gravitas and grit," according to one of these sources, all of whom declined to be named. At one point, an aide joked that Holder might need to clone Patrick Fitzgerald, the hard-charging, independent-minded U.S. attorney who had prosecuted Scooter Libby in the Plamegate affair. In the end, Holder asked for a list of 10 candidates, five from within the Justice Department and five from outside.

OF COURSE, if Holder, a former District of Columbia trial judge, goes forward with this, President Obama likely will not be pleased . . . and the Republicans are going to go absolutely nuts.

They will go from merely unhinged to insurrectionary. So be it. The continuing, imperfect sanctification of America -- if such a term may be used in the context of the political and social -- has nothing to do with going along to get along.

Usually, it has come about through the blood of martyrs.

America's original sin -- chattel slavery -- finally was expunged at the cost of a bloodbath, a four-year-long civil war. Even so, we still suffer from the legacy of that original sin unto this present day -- and it required the blood of untold modern-day martyrs to beat back Jim Crow, Satan's counteroffensive against the equality of man and the American ideal.

The Bush Administration's torture regime in the wake of 9/11 has been scarcely less destructive of American ideals, notion of human dignity and the rule of law. It is a cancer upon constitutional rule and the American soul, and it will require the kind of hard medicine eradicating most cancer requires.

It's time to take our medicine or die. If the Republicans choose to cast their philosophical lot with the likes of Hitler, Stalin, Tojo, Mao and Pol Pot, it will be their funeral.

Or, perhaps, ours.

3 Chords & the Truth: As seen on MP3

Remember back when you were young and you used to sit in your room and listen to the stereo, shutting the world out with your music blasting through your headphones?

Those days are back! That's right, you can hear those same wonderful songs you loved as a teen-ager . . . or a young adult . . . or love right now . . . all in pristine digital quality!

We call it the 3 Chords & the Truth collection, and it all can be yours for the price of a free download over the Internet. You've never had it so good -- at least not since you were 17 and borrowing your dad's car to take your honey to the malt shop, where you danced all night to your favorite hits on the Rock-Ola jukebox.

HI, I'm the Mighty Favog, and we at the Big Show know what that music means to you. Why? Because we know what it means to us.

And it's all right here -- yours for the listening -- on the 3 Chords & the Truth collection. For three easy payments of not a single dime, you can relive those halcyon days when music was music and your pimples were starting to clear up.

A little.

It will seem like it was just yesterday when you spent all night "Hanging on the Telephone," where you "Heard It Through the Grapevine" straight from your best friend, who heard it from a cousin, who heard it from a neighbor, who got it from somebody who saw it all happen. Honest to God!

And when you tune into the Big Show, yesterday will be today . . . and you're skating on thin ice, Mister! Because your old man saw you hanging out in that hippie coffeehouse, listening to that commie Miles Davis be-bop crap and snapping your fingers like some damn mental deficient!

Cut your damn hair! You look like some kind of a bum . . . or a girl! A girl bum!

What are you anyway, some kind of dope fiend?

I'M TELLING YOU, buddy boy . . . you'd better give your heart to "Jesus of Suburbia," because your ass is gonna be mine!

That's right, the 3 Chords & the Truth collection will make it seem like you're 17 once more and have had it up to f-ing here with that square old bastard.

Or, as one of our favorite bands said:

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday I
gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

AH . . . but it doesn't have to be "all in the past." Not with this fine collection of your favorite music, available exclusively through the Big Show! Listen to your old Mighty Favog . . . it can be yesterday once more.

After all, they call Alabama the Crimson Tide . . . call me Deacon Blues.

That made absolutely no sense, did it?

Well, neither did being 17. Back when you were drinking scotch whiskey all night long and trying not to die behind the wheel.

If you download right now, not only will you get the wonderful 3 Chords & the Truth collection, you'll also receive -- absolutely free -- the illusion of recovered youth and eternal coolness.

BUT WAIT! There's more!

As a token of our appreciation for listening to the Big Show, we'll also send along a three-month supply of Stridex and a crapload of raging insecurity. And it won't cost you a penny!

So what are you waiting for? Download now . . . it'll be righteous! Maaaaaan.

I'm the Mighty Favog, and we'll be seeing you on the Internet.

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

The party of waterboarding and wingnuts

It takes a simple screenshot from Townhall.com to sum up what's wrong with the Republicans.

Here you have a story about the battle, culminating this weekend, for leadership of the Young Republican National Federation -- the group that supplies the GOP with much of its "up-and-coming" talent (for lack of a better word).

It describes the race pitting Rachel Hoff, a 26-year-old with a voter-fraud conviction on her rap sheet, against Audra Sigler Shay, a 38-year-old Louisiana GOP moonbat who's a current YR vice-chairman and has been known to cheer on racist commenters on her (now-deleted) Facebook page.

The story by Jillian Bandes, however, doesn't mention anything about voter fraud or racist outburts -- but there is a nice ad next to it for a T-shirt that says "I'd Rather Be Waterboarding."

Fraud, racism and torture -- pretty much everything the Republican Party has come to stand for. And party Whigs, er, bigs wonder why voters have run screaming into the night.

They know nothing. Know-Nothing at all.

ACCORDING TO John Avlon at The Daily Beast, this is what happened July 1:

Shay—a 38-year-old Army veteran, mother, and event planner from Louisiana who has been endorsed by her governor, Bobby Jindal—was holding court on her Facebook page, initiating a political conversation by posting that “WalMart just signed a death warrant” by “endorsing Obama’s healthcare plan.” At 1:52, a friend named listed as Eric S. Piker, but whose personal page says his actual name is Eric Pike, wrote “It’s the government making us commies… can’t even smoke in my damn car… whats next they going to issue toilet paper once a month… tell us how to wipe our asses…”

Two minutes later, Piker posted again saying “Obama Bin Lauden [sic] is the new terrorist… Muslim is on there side [sic]… need to take this country back from all of these mad coons… and illegals.”

Eight minutes after that, at 2:02, Shay weighed in on Piker’s comments: “You tell em Eric! lol.”

Shay now claims that she was only responding to Piker’s first comments, not having noticed the second. The eight-minute gap between the second post and her response strains the credibility of this defense.

It didn’t take long for other posters on Shay’s page to do the math. First, Derek Moss wrote “What’s disheartening is the use of the word 'coon' in 2009. Wow… I’m usually outnumbered about 500-to-1 on Audra’s threads so go ahead, lemme have it, I deserve it.” He apparently expected to be criticized as among this crowd for calling out the racist comment.

Cassie Wallender, a national committeewoman from the Washington Young Republican Federation, then wrote: “Someone please help a naïve Seattle girl out, is Eric’s comment a racist slur?” She answered her own question one minute later: “Okay, why is this okay? I just looked it up. ‘It comes from a term baracoons (a cage) where they used to place Africans who were waiting to be sent to America to be slaves.’ THIS IS NOT OKAY AND IT’S NOT FUNNY.”

AND THEN . . . more fireworks on Shay's Facebook page from the subliterate George Wallace wannabe some nine hours after his "coon" comment -- and 8 1/2 hours after Shay's "You tell 'em" response. Again, from Avlon on TDB:

Shay was silent on this exchange, but soon word started spreading throughout the Young Republican circuit, open to GOP members under 40. Significantly, Shay then “de-friended” Wallender and Conner—in the world of Facebook, that means cutting off relations—after calling her out, but kept Piker as a “friend” (subsequently, it appears their profiles are no longer linked).

“If Audra really did find these remarks to be 'outright disgusting,' then why was her response to immediately de-friend those who made statements against Eric's blatant racism?” Wallender wrote yesterday in a letter to the Young Republican National Committee. “I was blocked for stating that Eric's racist comment was "NOT OKAY. And it is not funny." Please take a moment look at the entire screenshot linked above, and ask yourself: which comment would lead you to de-friend someone, mine, or Eric's?”

In the face of the “coons” comment, Shay’s main concern seems to have been damage control. She deleted the controversial exchanges from her page (but not before screenshots were taken) and tried to tamp down the fire internally. Almost eight hours after Piker’s comments, and Shay’s ensuing “LOL”, Shay posted a Facebook status update stating that neither she—nor her Young Republican political slate—“condones the use of racial slurs on my wall…. It is not right to nor appropriate to talk that way and will not be accepted!”

At 10:31 p.m., a friend named Dale Lawson raised the P.C. defense, writing “the over reaction to it was a little amusing.” Then her friend Piker came roaring back: “I agree with dale… this is still America… freedom of speech and thought is still allowed… for now any ways… and the last time i checked I was a good ole southern boy… and if yur ass is black don’t let the sun set on it in a southern town…”

SHAY, SADLY, is pretty par for the course when it comes to the stripped gears and unbalanced cogs that comprise the Louisiana Republican machine.

In the 1980s, it specialized in trying to get blacks purged from parish voter rolls. Now, it's pretty much reduced to snickering at morons' rants and playing in the tar pits of racial paranoia and political resentment.

Of course, in Louisiana, this kind of thing can draw an approving audience -- note the conspicuous silence about his gal's Facebook faux pas from the head of the state GOP, the Indian-American Jindal. Is he LOL at the "coon" cracks, while trying to make sure the "sun don't set" on black asses in the Southern towns under his jurisdiction?

Obviously, decency and decorum are outmoded concepts in the Louisiana Republican Party. So much so that the party's head -- and governor of Louisiana -- can't be bothered to denounce what was -- at a minimum -- tolerance by one of his cadre of the worse sort of racist rantings.

And not only that, but tolerance by a campaign aide who had stuck her keyboard in her mouth before, as noted by Marc Ambinder on The Atlantic's politics blog:

Subsequent to that, it's discovered that candidate "A" commented beneath a picture of a Halloween festival, "What, no Obama in a noose?" and then wondered whether liberals would get mad if Republicans posted a picture of "homosexuals in a noose," as a counterweight to a picture she'd seen of Sarah Palin in a noose.

Here's why Republicans should take this seriously. A double standard exists in American politics. Republicans have much less of a margin for error when it comes to making racially insensitive remarks. That may be fair, given the party's recent history (not its most recent history, but its Southern strategy history), or it may not be, but it exists, and it's a given, and Republicans who feel they ought not be judged by a different standard might as well move to a different country.

The Young Republican National Federation is little known outside the Republican world, but it is a fertile source of activists for the party; with the absence of young and dynamic party voices, YRNF officials go on to bigger and better things; the organization, while much attenuated (and scandal-plagued) in recent years, is the largest collection of professional young Republicans in the country. The RNC needs younger voices; the YRNF provides them.

WHEN I TOLD my wife about all these goings-on today, she was speechless. Literally.

Did I mention she's a Republican?

It seems to me that when you have Republicans engaging in behavior -- and displaying attitudes -- that leave even other Republicans at a loss for words . . . out of sheer horror . . . you have a party well on the way to having absolutely nothing to add to the national conversation.

Absolutely nothing.

You have a party trying to rebuild itself upon a rotten foundation. You have a party -- or at least a good half of a party -- conflating bigotry, hatred and abject paranoia with "principles."

And if that's how the Republicans decide they're going to roll, they will have earned their soon-to-come place alongside the Whigs and the Know-Nothings in American history's trash heap. Tune in Saturday in Indianapolis to see whether the Young Republicans elect the Beltway election cheat or the racially insensitive Louisiana moonbat.

I'm not a Republican, but I think I can give the YR delegates a bit of advice from once upon a time down on the bayou.

Vote for the crook. It's important.

Feed the press

HAT TIP: The Media Is Dying.

If guns were illegal, only Iowa cops could accidentally shoot each other

If Carter Lake, Iowa, didn't exist, somebody would have to invent it.

Oh, wait. . . .

ACCORDING to the Omaha World-Herald, Barney Fife not only lives, somebody put him in charge:

A Carter Lake police sergeant was wounded Wednesday by his chief.

Authorities are investigating how, as a city press release explained, Police Chief Shawn Kannedy fired a weapon inside the Police Department offices that hit Sgt. Dan Driver.

Kannedy, Driver and a third officer had been discussing firearms when the chief accidentally discharged one, according to the city release.

Pottawattamie County Sheriff Jeff Danker, whose office is investigating, said the sergeant appeared to have been shot accidentally in the lower torso, beneath his bulletproof vest.

Danker said that the gun may have malfunctioned, but many details about the shooting remain unclear.

Reached by telephone late Wednesday, Kannedy declined to comment about what happened.

UPON FURTHER REVIEW, I take back what I said about Carter Lake. The Iowa town ain't like the fictional Mayberry, N.C., a-tall.

Mayberry didn't have a big strip club on the main drag. And Barney Fife never chased a speeding car into Mount Pilot, then got himself charged with assault for tasing and beating the crap out of one of the occupants in a Kwik-E Mart.

And, finally, ol' Barn's gun never went off when it was actually pointed at someone. Because even he knew that "you never, never, never point a gun at anything if you don't intend to shoot."

Holy crap!

Live from New York . . . Saturday Night has been canceled.

There's no more point, network executives say, when the late-night comedy staple's writing staff no longer can make this s*** up. What comedic ground is left for writers -- or a 34-year-old TV show -- to plow when you have Lee Majors hawking "bionic" hearing aids, and it's not a joke?

Comedy is dead. It has been replaced by real life.