The Bubba Gump Crack Co.

Mark my words, this will end up as one of Jay Leno's "Stupid Criminal" bits on the Tonight Show.

THE GRET STET of Louisiana may not have more stupid people than anywhere else, but you have to admit it gets the most out of the ones it has. As this little gem in The (Baton Rouge) Advocate illustrates:

Deputies arrested a Hammond man Friday after he allegedly called to report that someone stole the drugs he was selling, the Tangipahoa Parish Sheriff’s Office reported.

Cedrick Riley Sr., 23, 42336 E. Pleasant Hill Road Extension, told deputies that he was trying to sell drugs when his would-be customers hit him across the head with a gun, tied him up and robbed him of his illicit merchandise near a gas station on University Avenue and Puma Drive in Hammond, said a statement from the Sheriff’s Office.

LAW, I DO DECLARE that this reads like a tale from an alternate universe in which Bubba doesn't get blowed up in the jungles of Vietnam, Forrest doesn't win the Medal of Honor, and they go home to Alabama and embark on a life of crime . . . not shrimping.

Stupid is as stupid does.

Masters of the Internets

I wish we had the Internets when I was at Louisiana State, working on The Daily Reveille. Instead, we had four much-fought-over (and astoundingly primitive by contemporary standards) computer terminals.

What we had more of was ancient manual typewriters and yellow newsprint to type on. Oh yeah . . . and a slow-speed Associated Press teletype machine.

ANYWAY, the young'uns have the Internets nowadays, and it would appear that my old paper is mastering its (their?) use. I wish the Omaha World-Herald could say the same.

Here's the Reveille's award-winning tale, from the pages of The (Baton Rouge) Advocate:

The Daily Reveille Web site, lsureveille.com, won a 2008 Eppy Award from Editor & Publisher magazine Thursday as the nation’s best collegiate Web site, said James E. Shelledy, a professor at LSU’s Manship School of Mass Communication.

The other two finalists were the student news Web sites at the University of Arizona and the University of Indiana, he said in an e-mail message.

Reveille Editor Justin Fritscher, of Mandeville, and Managing Editor Kyle Whitfield, of Metairie, oversaw the push this year to add breaking news and video to the Web site’s content mix, Shelledy said.

ABOVE . . . us, at the Reveille, in 1981. I think we may have been drinking. Ah, college. . . .

3 Chords & the Truth: Why can't Catholics rock?

You ever wonder what the deal is with Catholic radio, bubbie?

Like, when you turn on your local Catholic radio station and all you hear is talk . . . and you're kind of all talked out on Catholic talk . . . and what you'd really like is some tunes?

And then you finally get a bit of music on Pope FM (or AM) . . . and all you hear is another one of Marty Haugen's greatest fits . . . uh, hits . . . or maybe the California Praisins on EWTN's Catholic Jukebox, and that's giving you intestinal distress. What about then, bucko?

ISN'T THERE ROOM for Catholic folks just to be . . . normal? Isn't there a place for good music radio done by Catholics, as opposed to "Catholic Radio"?

Isn't it possible for ordinary things to be done well for the greater glory of God . . . and for the greater good of your musical sensibilities?

Is that what you're craving, Poopsie?

Well, here's where you go:

www.revolution21.org

Revolution 21 is the home of not only the Blog for the People, but also of 3 Chords & the Truth, the best 90 minutes of music radio since Corporate America pushed freeform "underground radio" off the FM airwaves.

What, Catholics can't do that, you say?

Well, why the hell not? I ask.

And you know what? "Freeform" is even better when we're both relatively sober.

Yes, it is.

You want to know what else? The new episode of 3 Chords & the Truth is up.

Be there. Aloha.

Jokers to the right 2.0

Posted without comment. Who needs to comment when the video speaks for itself so loudly?

Jokers to the right

A body could write a thousand words -- hell, a book, even -- on how the Republican echo chamber, circa 2008, is basically a bunch of jingoistic, bleating neo-fascists who not only don't have any ideas but are without a clue, as well.

BUT THAT would take time, and that ground's been covered before.

So I'll post this video from MSNBC's Hardball instead, because these moving pictures are worth a million words on how worthless is the GOP -- and its amen corner on the public airwaves.

And to add this inside-baseball note: I, frankly, am enraged and offended that loudmouthed moron Kevin James of Los Angeles' KRLA radio has a sweet gig like that when so many with 30 times the brainpower and 60 times the talent have been run out of that dying industry.

Unbelievable.

Slush funds make the world go 'round

The Louisiana House of Representatives has passed a budget in which there's no room for elderly veterans, some Medicaid expenditures or for full funding for higher education.

THERE IS ROOM in the budget, however, for largesse for private and religious organizations, and for local-government expenditures that rightly ought to be funded locally. After all, isn't that why God invented property taxes and local sales-tax levies?

When you read how state legislators "earmark" a budget to death while cutting monies for legitimate state obligations -- like health care and colleges -- it certainly ought to give the American taxpayer pause when the Gret Stet next goes to Washington, hat in hand and crying "Katrina" crocodile tears.

As a native Louisianian, I am embarrassed that my people never developed past the "padrón" model of government, where the Big Man at the statehouse doles out favors to his infantilized dependents.

As a Nebraskan, however, I am infuriated that the American taxpayer is now expected to be the padrón's padrón, with no expectation that the Gret Stet will even attempt to budget that largesse like adults, as opposed to dissolute teen-agers. With that, here's the entire slush-fund list -- and, yes, Asparagus for Allah is still down for 20 grand:

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Jefferson Parish for the Jefferson Parish Department
of Parks and Recreation for Pontiff Playground $ 250,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Hungarian Settlement Historical Society, Inc.
for museum restoration $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Lafayette Housing Authority for
an affordable housing program $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Vivian for purchase of a new generator
for the police department $ 65,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Caddo Parish Sheriff's Office for mobile video
digital upgrade $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Allen Parish Fire District No. 3 for the purchase
and installation of fire hydrants in Fire District 3
and Ward 4 $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Elizabeth for firefighting equipment
and fire hydrant replacement $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Beauregard Parish Recreation District for site
preparation and equipment in Ward 7 and Ward 8 $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Merryville Historical Society and Museum, Inc.
for construction of restroom facilities $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Vernon Parish Police Jury for repairs to
Donald Perkins Road $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Vernon Parish Police Jury for repairs to
Mathis Cemetery Road $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Ida for wastewater system
improvements $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Beauregard Parish Sheriff for the 2008
Veterans Day celebration in Dry Creek $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church Charitable
Foundation for summer youth enrichment program $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Eunice for tennis court construction
and renovations $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Jefferson Parish Recreation Department for
improvements to Thomas Jefferson Playground
for restrooms and drinking fountains $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Sabine Parish for purchase of three hydraulic
rescue tools for Fire District Nos. 1, 3, and 5 $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Stonewall to purchase a vehicle for
the Road System Department $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Mansfield Fire Department for purchase of
equipment $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Longstreet for handicap accessible
renovations for Longstreet Village Hall $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Historic Grand Cane Association for safety
upgrades and maintenance in the historic district $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Logansport for a walking trail in
Riverfront Park $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Heflin for the Heflin Civic Center
for renovations and acquisitions $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Sarepta for purchase of a new police
vehicle $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Springhill for purchase of a trailer-mounted
pump unit $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Springhill for purchase of a video unit $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Rosepine for construction of a new
town hall/police station $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Boys and Girls Club of Natchitoches, Inc. for
tutorial and enrichment programs for youth $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Community Awareness Revitalization and
Enhancement Corporation $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Jackson Parish Watershed District for repairs
and improvements to the Ebenezer Boat Landing on
Caney Lake $ 45,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Young Men's Christian Association of Baton
Rouge Baranco/Clark Branch $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the American Muslim Mission of Baton Rouge, Inc.
for provision of a year-round farmers market in old
south Baton Rouge $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Friends of the Algiers Courthouse for repairs
and restoration of the courthouse and grounds $ 150,000

Payable out of the State General Fund by
Statutory Dedications out of the Algiers
Economic Development Foundation Fund to
Algiers Economic Development Foundation,
pursuant to R. S. 27:392(C)(3) $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Algiers Athletic Club Inc. dba PAC Sports
for restoration and repairs to PAC sports facilities $ 250,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Westbank Redevelopment Corporation for
improvements to the Brechtel Park, Terrytown
Park, and General DeGaulle Boulevard neutral ground $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Beauregard Parish Police Jury for the
South Beauregard Recreation District for park
and recreational facilities equipment acquisitions $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the City of Crowley for the Crowley Police
Department $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Arnaudville for infrastructure repairs
and improvements and playground equipment acquisitions $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Cankton for infrastructure improvements
and playground equipment acquisitions $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury for Waterworks
District One for a waterline on Alamitos Court $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the City of Westlake Fire Department for acquisition
of personal protection equipment and fire preplanning
computer software $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury for Ward One
Drainage District #8 for equipment acquisitions $ 90,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Calcasieu Parish district attorney's office for the
Prosecutor's Early Intervention Program $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Freed Men, Inc. for repairs to facilities $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury for the Ward 6
High Hope Drainage Project $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Acadia Parish to be distributed equally to the
volunteer fire departments for Mire, Egan and
Mermenta $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Kent Plantation House, Inc. for programs
and services $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Rapides Children's Advocacy Center, Inc.
for programs for victims of child abuse $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Caddo Parish Commission for the STAR
Boot Camp $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the McKinley High School Alumni Association, Inc.
for youth outreach activities $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Iberia Parish Government for repairs to parish
veterans buildings, to be divided equally among the
Jeanerette Veterans Building No. 1, the Jeanerette
Veterans Building No. 2, and the Lydia Veterans Building $ 45,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Department for the
Cops and Clergy Program $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Evangeline Parish Recreation District for
construction of a ballpark $ 150,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Melville Volunteer Fire Department for equipment
acquisitions $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Vermilion Parish Police Jury for replacement
of the Henry fire station destroyed by Hurricane Rita $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Delcambre for infrastructure
improvements $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Erath for infrastructure
improvements $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Port Vincent for renovations to the
community center $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Killian for water meters $ 35,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Albany for renovations to the police
station $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Springfield for drainage improvements $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Sorrento for purchase of new
police cars $ 40,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Maurepas for renovations to the
community center $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Amant Fire Department #63 for
operations $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Avoyelles Parish Port Commission for port
improvements $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Moreauville for improvements to
Couvillon Street $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of St. Francisville for a drainage project $ 205,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Booker T. Community Outreach Project $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Slaughter for construction of a storage
building $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Novice House, Inc. $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to The New Way Center, Inc. for supports and
services for at-risk youth $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Helena Parish 6th Ward Volunteer Fire
Department $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Amite for a police department building $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Roseland for purchase of a vehicle
for the police department $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Tangipahoa for purchase of a vehicle
for the water department $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Top Gun Boy Scouts of Ouachita $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Central for purchase of generators
for the fire department $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Crowley for acquisition of playground
equipment $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Rayne for acquisition of playground
equipment $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of French Settlement for renovations to
the town hall $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Livonia for building acquisition $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Pointe Coupee Parish Police Jury for drainage
and erosion mitigation on Portage Canal $ 110,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Rapides Parish Fire District #12 for renovations
to the fire station in Cheneyville $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Franklin Parish for the Croweville Volunteer
Fire District $ 60,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Columbia for the Main Street
program $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Winnsboro for the Main Street
program $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the New Orleans Recreation Department for
the Treme Recreational Center $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the New Orleans Recreation Department $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Ruston Airport Authority $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Simsboro $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Gibsland $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Homer $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Junction City $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Haynesvillle $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Community Coordinating Council, Inc. $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Men of Vision and Enlightenment, Inc. $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Boys and Girls Club of North Central Louisiana, Inc. $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Louisiana Alliance for Boys & Girls Clubs of
America for activities in Claiborne Parish $ 60,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Project Each One Reach One, Inc. $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Greater Grambling Chamber of Commerce $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Jackson Parish Police Jury for support
of community action agencies in the parish $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Achieve to Succeed for provision of services to
the elderly $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to City at Peace for a youth-centered conflict resolution
program $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Scotlandville Community Development
Corporation for housing for low income families $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Iberia Parish government for the Iberia Parish
Economic Development Authority $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of New Iberia for the Santa Ines wastewater
maintenance project $ 7,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of New Iberia for pump station
expansion at the Virginia Street station $ 7,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Loreauville for water plant
improvement and sidewalks $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Lake Charles for a traffic light on Mill
Street and Ent Boulevard $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Lake Charles for turn signals at Pineview
and East Street $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Lake Charles for a turn lane at Moeling
Road $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Lake Charles to close the canal on
Opelousas Street $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Gueydan for a phone system for city
hall $ 8,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Cameron Parish Police Jury for Recreation
District No. 9 for equipment acquisitions $ 12,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Kaplan for the electrical system $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Abbeville for a walking trail for the
elderly at Gertie Huntsberry Park $ 14,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Meaux/Nunez Volunteer Fire Department
for equipment acquisition $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund by
Statutory Dedications out of the Greater New
Orleans Sports Foundation Fund for the Greater
New Orleans Sports Foundation $ 1,000,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Louisiana Alliance of Boys and Girls Clubs of
America to promote the social welfare of the boys
and girls in the state $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Mercy Endeavors, Inc. for services for seniors $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Global Green USA for the Build It Right Back
Initiative to provide assistance to Road Home grant
recipients $ 30,000 [What? Is Brad Pitt tapped out? -- R21]

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Community Opportunities of East Ascension for
the construction of a multipurpose facility to provide
respite center and adult day care, as well as serve as a
disaster evacuation shelter for persons with disabilities $ 405,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Greenwell Springs-Airline Economic
Development District for economic development
purposes $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Dryades Street Young Men's Christian
Association $ 700,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Progress 63, Incorporated for education, skill
training, healthcare awareness, and referral services $ 400,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Crimestoppers, Inc. for crime reduction activities $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Just the Right Attitude, Inc. for nourishment and
counseling assistance to needy individuals and families $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the George & Leah McKenna Museum of
African American Art $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Serving People District 40 (SP40) for educational
and training programs $ 340,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Martin Parish government for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Youngsville for infrastructure
improvements $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Broussard for infrastructure
improvements $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Rayville for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Delhi for infrastructure improvements $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Mangham for infrastructure
improvements $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Richmond for infrastructure
improvements $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Epps for infrastructure improvements $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Mer Rouge for infrastructure
improvements $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Jefferson Davis Parish Police Jury for Houssiere
Park $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Calcasieu Parish Ward 1 Volunteer
Fire Department for equipment acquisition $ 60,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Westlake Police Department for
weapons and equipment acquisitions $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Winnfield Civic Center for improvements
to the parking lot $ 300,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Lafayette City-Parish Consolidated Government
for road improvements on LA 733 and US 167 $ 140,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Hammond for repair of water and
sewer lines $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Pontchatoula for sidewalk
improvements and litter abatement $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Kenner for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Kenner for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Saline for infrastructure improvements $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Chatham for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Ringgold for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Calvin for infrastructure improvements $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Sikes for infrastructure
improvements $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Human Assistance Needs and Development Inc.
(HAND) for additional support $ 200,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Mary Parish Council for flood control and
drainage improvement projects $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Government for the
Maritime Training Institute $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Maurice for facilities renovations
and improvements $ 150,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Harahan for road improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Mandeville for implementation of
the Master Pedestrian and Bicycle Plan $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Terrebonne Parish Veterans' Memorial District
for the Regional Military Museum in Terrebonne
Parish, in the event that Senate Bill No. 25 of the
2008 Regular Session of the Louisiana Legislature
is enacted into law $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Neighborhoods Planning and Community
Development Network $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to St. Bernard Parish for the Hospital Service District
for planning and studies $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Grand Isle Port Commission for public
dock facilities $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Golden Meadow for infrastructure
improvements $ 17,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Lockport for infrastructure
improvements $ 17,500

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Youth Education Solutions, Inc. for an urban
youth entrepreneurship program $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Youth Education Solutions, Inc. for a fishing
program $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Youth Education Solutions, Inc. for after-school
programs $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Algiers Development District for post-hurricane
blighted housing remediation $ 500,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Terrebonne Parish for construction of dog parks
at Glenn F. Pope Memorial Park and Lafayette
Woods Park, to be equally divided between the
two parks $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Community Renewal International, Inc. for
activities related to restoration of safe and caring
communities $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Children and Arthritis for the jambalaya jubilee $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Denham Springs for park improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Bunkie for purchase of a computer
voice stress analysis program $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Cottonport for street maintenance
equipment $ 2,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Pineville Concerned Citizens, Inc. for
community support $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Hessmer for sewer treatment plant
repairs $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Mansura for parks and recreation $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Evergreen for installation of warning
and safety signs $ 3,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Mt. Zion Community Development Corporation
for the Health and Wellness Ministry for promotion
of healthy living among under-served populations $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Marksville for the Edgar Park Senior
Citizen Walking Track for installation of lighting $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the village of Plaucheville for community
center repairs $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Simmesport for purchase of a commercial
zero-turn mower $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Central Louisiana, Inc.
for enhancements to the teen program $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Arna Bontemps African American Museum
for additional support $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Education Foundation of Epsilon Psi Lambda
Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. for
educational enhancement programs for middle and
high school students $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Bossier Parish Government for infrastructure
improvements to Sewer District #1 $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Southeast Louisiana Council Boy Scouts
of America for enrichment programs for boys $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Government for the
Slidell levee project $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Government for the
Slidell levee project $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Government for the
Maritime Training Institute $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Pearl River for the Town of Pearl
River Museum $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Girl Scouts Louisiana East, Inc. for enrichment
programs for girls $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Abita Springs for community
development projects $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Plaquemines Parish Council for support of
volunteer fire departments which were directly
impacted by Hurricane Katrina $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Unity of Greater New Orleans, Inc. for
homelessness prevention activities $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. George Fire Protection District in East
Baton Rouge Parish for equipment acquisitions $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Baton Rouge Fire Department for equipment
acquisitions $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Catholic Charities Hope Haven Center for
road repairs $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Arcadia for infrastructure
improvements $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Northeast Louisiana Family Literacy
Interagency Consortium for Even Start $ 60,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Our House, Inc. for support services for
homeless, runaway, and victimized youth $ 60,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Monroe for the Cooley House restoration $ 35,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Jefferson Parish for the Jefferson Parish Department
of Parks and Recreation to be equally divided between
Bright Playground, and Lakeshore Playground $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Evangeline Parish Volunteer Fire District No. 4 $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Assumption Parish for the Paincourtville Fire District $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Assumption Parish for Recreation District #2 $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Rayne Police Department for operations $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Acadia Police Department for operations $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to East Baton Rouge Parish for the Pride Fire
Department $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Plaquemines Parish Council for an architectural
and engineering study for a new government complex $ 250,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Pontilly Association, Inc. for disaster recovery
efforts $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Pontchartrain Park Community Development
Corporation for a housing initiative $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of New Orleans Recreation Department
and neighborhood taxing districts $ 175,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Scott for the municipal complex
building $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Scott for the Scott Volunteer Fire
Department for materials and service needs $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Vermilion Parish Police Jury to be distributed
equally among the volunteer fire departments of
Maurice, LeBlanc, Indian Bayou, and Leleux for
materials and service needs $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Lafayette Parish Consolidated Government
for the Milton Volunteer Fire Department for
materials and service needs $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Assumption Parish Police Jury for the E.G.
Robichaux Ball Park $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Assumption Parish Police Jury for the
Bayou L'Ourse Ball Park $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Assumption Parish School Board for the
Assumption High School Tutoring Fund for Athletes $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Terrebonne Parish Veterans' Memorial District
for the Regional Military Museum, in the event that
Senate Bill No. 25 of the 2008 Regular Session of the
Louisiana Legislature is enacted into law $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Terrebonne Parish Police Jury for assistance
to shrimpers $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Terrebonne Parish for Recreation District No. 10 $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Morgan City for the Morgan City
Auditorium parking project $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to St. Martin Parish for infrastructure improvements $ 100,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to Lafayette Parish for infrastructure improvements $ 150,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct) to
Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church Charitable
Foundation for assistance to needy families, at risk
youth, and the elderly. $ 5,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Ferriday for infrastructure
improvements $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Clayton for infrastructure improvements $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Vidalia for infrastructure improvements $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Tallulah for infrastructure improvements $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Waterproof for infrastructure
improvements $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Lake Providence for infrastructure
improvements $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of St. Joseph for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Newellton for infrastructure
improvements $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Concordia Police Jury for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Tensas Parish Police Jury for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Madison Parish Police Jury for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the East Carroll Parish Police Jury for infrastructure
improvements $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Council for aid to the
needy in the Bayou Lacombe area $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Council for support of
local humane society efforts $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Council for support
of community activities to assist persons with
severe disabilities $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Mandeville for community enrichment
programs $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Sterlington for operational support $ 50,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Bernard Parish Hospital Service District
for additional support $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Top Gun Boy Scouts of Ouachita for
mentoring and leadership programs for urban youth $ 15,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the LifeShare Blood Centers for the Louisiana
Public Umbilical Cord Blood Program $ 20,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Northeast Louisiana Sickle Cell Anemia
Technical Resource Foundation, Inc. for community
education workshops $ 10,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the Louisiana Alliance of Boys & Girls Clubs
of America for expansion of community-based
prevention and mentoring programs $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Bogalusa for public safety equipment $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the town of Franklinton for public safety equipment $ 25,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the St. Tammany Parish Government for the
Maritime Training Institute $ 30,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Covington for utility improvements $ 75,000

Payable out of the State General Fund (Direct)
to the city of Madisonville for sewer repairs $ 35,000

Onward Christian soldiers. . . .

Instead of teaching the children and renewing a culture, a group of Christian jihadists finds it's much easier to just make asses of themselves railing against nekkid mermaids.

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune has the scoop on Starbucks' morning cup o' ho:

Seems that one person's smut is another person's morning latte.

A Christian group out of San Diego has found grounds for outrage over the new retro-style logo for Starbucks Coffee.

The Resistance says the new image "has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute," Mark Dice, founder of the group, said in a news release. "Need I say more? It's extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves Slutbucks."

The group, which claims more than 3,000 members nationwide and has found a place advancing various conspiracy theories, is calling for a national boycott of the coffee-selling giant.

The logo will run on Starbucks cups for "several more weeks," said company spokeswoman Bridget Baker, and will live on as the logo for Pike Place bags of coffee.

The image is a less-revealing throw-back version of what the chain used for many years starting when it first opened in Seattle in 1971. That original logo was resurrected in its Pacific Northwest outlets for a time in 2006 to mark the chain's 35th anniversary.

(snip)

The explanation for that initial logo design is explained in the book "Pour Your Heart into It : How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time," written by company founder Howard Schultz:

"[Creative partner Terry Heckler] poured [sic] over old marine books until he came up with a logo based on an old sixteenth-century Norse woodcut: a two-tailed mermaid, or siren, encircled by the store's original name, Starbucks Coffee, Tea, and Spice. That early siren, bare-breasted and Rubenesque, was supposed to be as seductive as coffee itself."

OF COURSE, while our brave and fearless Christian soldiers are defending against the expected onslaught at Pas-de-Calais, the enemy has been having its way with the Normandy sector of the cultural landscape.

Our hapless army has lost its children and surrendered all the parts of the culture that matter. Better, I suppose, to rail against the Starbucks mermaid's bodacious tatas, then beat a hasty retreat into a cultural ghetto that leaves most right-minded folks hungry for "the good stuff" over at Satan's Place.

Sounds like a winning battle plan to me.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I suppose we're fortunate that Starbucks didn't bring back its original 1971 logo, pictured at right.

Goodnight, America. Sleep tight.

It's all over but the fulminating. Gay "marriage" is here to stay.

IT'S IN ALL the papers and on all the news wires. And it's here in the Los Angeles Times:

The California Supreme Court decided today that same-sex couples should be permitted to wed, ruling that gay unions must be given the "respect and dignity" of marriage.

In a 4-3 vote, the court became the first in the country to apply the constitutional protections reserved for race and gender to sexual orientation. The Massachusetts high court struck down bans on same-sex marriage in 2003, but under a different legal theory.

The court held that people have a fundamental right to marry the person of their choice and struck down marriage laws limiting matrimony to opposite-sex couples as a violation of the state constitution's equal protection guarantees.

"One of the core elements embodied in the state constitutional right to marry is the right of an individual and a couple to have their own official family relationship accorded respect and dignity equal to that accorded the family relationships of other couples," wrote Chief Justice Ronald M. George, joined by Justices Joyce L. Kennard, Kathryn Mickle Werdegar and Carlos Moreno.

State laws that have limited gay unions to domestic partnerships "impinge upon the fundamental interests of same-sex couples," George wrote.

Justices Marvin Baxter, Ming Chin and Carol Corrigan dissented.

The court majority "does not have the right to erase, then recast, the age-old definition of marriage, as virtually all societies have understood it, in order to satisfy its own contemporary notions of equality and justice," Baxter wrote.

One hundred people lined up outside the state courthouse in San Francisco at 10 a.m. today to purchase a copy of the decision for $10 apiece. Some people bought 10 to 15 copies, calling it a historic document. One man said he planned to give them out as Christmas presents.

Outside, couples, once denied marriage, hugged, kissed, shouted and shook their fists at the sky. Holding up a sign that says, "Life feels different when you're married," Ellen Pontac hugged her partner, Shelly Bailes.

"The best day of my life was when I met Ellen," Bailes said. "This was as good as that." (An earlier version of this story incorrectly gave Pontac's first name as Helen.)

Added Bailes: "This feels good for us. But I can't imagine what it means for all those young couples with their entire lives ahead of them."

The state high court’s ruling was unlikely to end the debate over gay matrimony in California. An initiative that would amend the state Constitution to ban same-sex marriage is expected to qualify for the November ballot.

WE'RE A VILLAGE PEOPLE kind of country, now, and we're not going to hold gay marriage to Massachusetts and California. When the sole standard of what is right and wrong in a nation revolves around "do what thou wilt," any impediment to that is, naturally, discrimination of one sort or another.

Unmoored from the cultural context of the society that birthed it -- and that society's religious underpinnings -- sooner or later the United States Constitution will be used as a battering ram of persecution against religious traditionalists who see gay marriage as a funhouse-mirror image of a holy sacrament entered into by a man and a woman.

Today, we worship the great I AM. Only we're the "I" . . . and the "AM," and it's almost like the original "I AM" never was.

So much so, that I'll bet a majority of you out there have no bloody idea to what -- or to Whom -- I refer.

I know the handwriting is on the wall (a saying of lost patrimony today, no doubt), because I have seen the leaders of tomorrow. To them, the notion that gays can't marry is as offensive as the notion of anti-miscegenation laws and African-Americans sitting in the back of the bus.

AND THE PLACE I have seen those future arbiters of what goes in America is firmly inside the Catholic Church. This is from a January post on this blog:

For years, we have volunteered with our church's youth group. And for a while now, we've been going to the weddings of kids the same age as our ghosts, then watching them have their own children.

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

I not only cannot improve upon how Joni Mitchell describes the "Circle Game" of life, I -- and my wife -- have been doomed to not fully participate in it. My better half says there's one question she wants to ask Jesus when she dies, being that we live in a country where there's so few children even to adopt because so many parents don't want to be . . . and can make that so.

I'll bet you can guess what that might be.

We live in a society that feels free to take our pain and use it as a weapon to smash the natural law to politically correct bits. In fact, during one youth-group session, we sat there dumbfounded -- and seething -- as a "Catholic" theology professor speculated upon the possible ecclesiastical permissibility of "gay marriage" someday, on grounds that -- hey -- infertile couples can't fulfill the procreative nature of matrimony, either.

A roomful of societally brainwashed Roman Catholic teen-agers nodded approvingly.

I wanted to kill the son of a bitch. Who, naturally -- being a Catholic theologian teaching at a Jesuit university -- was impervious to objections raised on catechetical and natural-law grounds.

IT SEEMS TO ME that American Christians who stubbornly persist in believing all that Biblical crap will come to be persecuted solely because of our own failure to communicate eternal truths to the culture -- and to our children -- in this era of instant gratification.

We have failed -- utterly. We have pandered to the most inane compulsions of popular culture instead of seeking to transform that culture. That's going to bite us in the ass.

Have you ever volunteered with a Catholic youth group and watched in horror as the teen-agers charged with leading prayer for the night -- many of them Catholic-school students -- managed to conduct an entire closing "prayer" without once mentioning God or Jesus? I have.

That's because we are our own gods, and a growing majority of god says "Go for it!" Those who stand astride history yelling "STOP!" are going to get the same kind of treatment most of the Old Testament prophets did.

Not to mention the New Testament Messiah.

Huskers like us some Bob Kerrey

Nobody saw the Scott Kleeb blowout coming in Nebraska's Democratic U.S. Senate primary.

Republocrat Tony Raimondo, the grain-bin king from Columbus, had the bucks to cover the airwaves with testimonials about what a gosh-darn good boss he was. And if you wanted to send a nice feller to Washington to set 'em up with a mighty fine silo and a couple hundred horse tanks, Raimondo was your man.

And 25 percent of Democratic voters saw it that way.

But 69 percent voted for Kleeb (pronounced KLEB).

NOW, WHY WOULD they go and do that? Vote for the hunky, 32-year-old Ph.D. whiz kid who's only lived full-time in the state since 2005 . . . and who got his undergrad degree from Colorado, for God's sake.

Well, it could be that Democrats didn't trust the party-swapping Raimondo.

But I think it's more that Kleeb -- born in Turkey and raised in Italy by expatriate Nebraskan parents -- was an honest-to-God cowboy until a couple of years ago. Was on the rodeo team at CU. Worked as a hired hand on a relative's ranch in Custer County every summer . . . and for a whole year after graduation before heading off to Yale to get all degreed up.

He's the new Bob Kerrey. And Nebraskans like them some Bob Kerrey.

Nobody's giving Rockin' Bob 2.0 much of a chance against uberdweeb GOP ex-Gov. Mike Johanns -- or Yo-hans to George Bush, who made him Agriculture secretary despite not knowing how to pronounce the man's name. I say they're nuts.

Repeat the mantra: Scott Kleeb is the new Bob Kerrey. And Nebraskans like them some Bob Kerrey.

If Kleeb can run a little more rightward on the social issues while tying Johanns to every colossal screw-up by the Bush Administration and pointing out early and often exactly how the Republicans have governed contrary to the interests of Main Street America and the working man, I think he can win. All he needs is the money to match the big corporate contributions the GOP Escort Service is so good at raking in.

But if Kleeb, a Catholic, wants to win, he has to exhibit the courage of his convictions on the social issues -- if indeed he shares the convictions of his faith on issues like abortion, gay marriage and, yes, a preferential option for the poor and vulnerable. Frankly, the "personally opposed but I don't want to piss off the abortion-loving party zealots" position isn't fooling anybody, as noted in an Omaha World-Herald feature last week:

Rita Paskowitz, a 59-year-old Democrat, said Kleeb talked without saying much. A supporter of abortion rights, Paskowitz didn't like his answer to her question on abortion.

Kleeb told her he personally opposes abortion but accepts the fact that legal abortion is the law of the land.

"I guess the cowboy hat makes me see him riding the fence, not the horse," said Paskowitz, who remained an undecided voter Thursday.

THE FACT IS, people passionately dedicated to vacuuming, poisoning, dicing or skull-puncturing unborn children to death mistrust a candidate the second he says "personally opposed." The quickly added "but" only convinces an apostle of "choice" that the pol is a weasel to boot.

And the waffler loses pro-lifers at "personally opposed" because they know the "but" is coming, and the "but" means he's going to vote in Congress the same as if he thought abortion were a lovely stroll in the park.

My party's fatal flaw is that it champions murder to the detriment of its own political interests. What Democrats, for the most part, refuse to understand is this -- that for decades now, pro-lifers and other social traditionalists have, for the most part, been voting happily against their own economic well-being in order to remain true to some greater truths.

Likewise, for decades now, the Republicans have been exploiting that . . . and then screwing over the masses with impunity because, after all, where are the "values voters" gonna go? To the Party of Lust and Abortion?

What would there be to lose if a Democrat plainly stated "Any solution to a problem that guarantees someone's going to end up dead -- like in abortion -- is no solution to anything. I am in favor of crafting solutions to unwanted pregnancies in which there are no losers"?

What if a Democratic candidate were solidly Democratic -- solidly pro-little guy -- on all the economic and policy issues, but also solidly in favor of crafting solutions where babies don't die? Forthright in decrying the fundamental injustice of a society that deems some must perish to solve others' crises?

To turn the GOP strategy -- the one that invented "Reagan Democrats" -- on its head . . . where, then, would the Dems' abortion lobby go? To the Republicans?

The ranks of the true-believer abortion zealots are thin, much thinner than the ranks of committed pro-lifers. Where most Americans reside would be that gray zone where folks don't necessarily want to repeal Roe v. Wade, but where the idea of abortion draws a solid ewwwwwww -- and where people would like the "choice" free-for-all to be decidedly dialed back.

That gray area is not hostile territory for a pro-life candidate who's "right" on all the other issues.

IF SCOTT KLEEB has the guts -- and foresight -- to realize where his bread is really buttered, he can get back the Reagan Democrats . . . and he can take out the Bush toady Johanns.

"To thine own self be true" ain't just Shakespeare (Hamlet, Act I, Scene iii), it's also good advice.

N.O.'s nutty buddy cuckoo for 'da surge'

What does this dispatch from The Associated Press sound like to you?

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said he's asked Gov. Bobby Jindal to postpone a planned phase-out of National Guard troops, who have been in the city as a way to help fight crime after Hurricane Katrina depleted police force ranks.

The governor had planned to begin a three-month phase-out of the 360 soldiers patrolling New Orleans neighborhoods in June, but Nagin said that would be too quick because the city still is trying to recruit new police officers and needs more time for that effort.

"We thought the June 1st deadline was coming a little too quickly," Nagin said Tuesday after meeting with Jindal in Baton Rouge. "We haven't really ramped up our recruitment. We have a major campaign running right now."

Seventy-five people have been murdered in New Orleans so far this year, and overall violent crime has increased. The police department announced this month that it will begin a national campaign that it hopes will land at least 200 new officers for the city.

Nagin said he'd like the National Guard troops to stay in the city through the summer, with a reassessment of the need in the fall.

The mayor said Jindal "said that he would be very flexible. We didn't talk about any specific timelines or anything, but in previous conversations with he and his staff, he said he would work with us and that the June 1st deadline was not a hard deadline."

IN OTHER WORDS, Crazy Ray is begging the armed forces of the Gret Stet of Looziana not to stand down until the Iraqi Army New Orleans Police Department can stand up.

My God, the National Guard could be stuck there for another 100 years.

They could have watched Leno for free

The new graduates of Our Lady of Holy Cross College in New Orleans paid thousands of dollars a year for four years to get their degrees and sit through commencement . . . just to get a rerun of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal's performance on the Tonight Show when it came time for their Big Moment.

FOR THAT MATTER, people paid 50 cents to buy a copy of The Times-Picayune to read about what they could have watched on YouTube for free:

Gov. Bobby Jindal told a group of college graduates on Sunday they didn't have to leave Louisiana to find opportunity.

"Dorothy from 'The Wizard of Oz' was right: 'There's no place like home,' " he said. "You can dream big right here at home."

AH, BUT THAT'S THE RUB. Lots of people dream big in Louisiana. Then they go somewhere else to make them come true. Somewhere where mediocrity is not a height that's seldom achieved.

Over the years, Jindal said Louisiana has exported gas, oil, culture and its sons and daughters "who felt they had to leave home to pursue their dreams."

Jindal said that he'd called his mother that morning to wish her a happy Mother's Day, and that she had told him she was proud of him, but for her, his greatest achievement was her grandchildren.

So, Jindal told the graduates, before looking for an out-of-state job, consider the parents in the audience.

"They're looking forward to the day when you fulfill your real purpose by giving them grandchildren," he said. "And they're not letting you take those grandchildren out of this state."

THEY HAVE for decades now.

The trouble with Louisiana -- and with the kind of governor Bobby Jindal is shaping up to be -- is that talk and dreams are plentiful and cheap in the Gret Stet. Success is rare and difficult.

Yes, Dorothy was right in The Wizard of Oz. There is no place like home.

And the wizard's balloon says "State Fair Omaha."

UPDATE: Who knew that the gub'na's speechwriter gets a salary and not paid by the speech? Three commencement addresses, one speech.

Why try harder, eh, Cap?

Make that Mongo County, WV

The erudite swells of London's The Financial Times get in touch with their inner "hill William" while following the doomed presidential campaign of the Thing Who Would Not Die through the hollers of West, by God, Virginia:

Like most people in Mingo County, West Virginia, Leonard Simpson is a lifelong Democrat. But given a choice between Barack Obama and John McCain in November, the 67-year-old retired coalminer would vote Republican.

“I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife’s an atheist,” said Mr Simpson, drawing on a cigarette outside the fire station in Williamson, a coalmining town of 3,400 people surrounded by lush wooded hillsides.

Mr Simpson’s remarks help explain why Mr Obama is trailing Hillary Clinton, his Democratic rival, by 40 percentage points ahead of Tuesday’s primary election in the heavily white and rural state, according to recent opinion polls.

A landslide victory for Mrs Clinton in West Virginia will do little to improve her fading hopes of winning the Democratic nomination, because Mr Obama has an almost insurmountable lead in the overall race.

But Tuesday’s contest is likely to reinforce Mrs Clinton’s argument that she would be the stronger opponent for Mr McCain in November, and raise fresh doubts about whether the US is ready to elect its first black president.

Occupying a swathe of the Appalachian Mountains on the threshold between the Bible Belt and the Rust Belt, West Virginia is a swing state that voted twice for George W. Bush but backed Democrats in six of the eight prior presidential elections.

No Democrat has been elected to the White House without carrying West Virginia since 1916, yet Mr Obama appears to have little chance of winning there in November. Recent opinion polls indicate that Mrs Clinton would narrowly beat Mr McCain in the state but Mr Obama would lose by nearly 20 percentage points.

West Virginia is hostile territory for Mr Obama because it has few of the African-Americans and affluent, college-educated whites who provide his strongest support. The state has the lowest college graduation rate in the US, the second lowest median household income, and one of the highest proportions of white residents, at 96 per cent.

A visit to Mingo County, a Democratic stronghold in the heart of the Appalachian coalfields, reveals the scale of Mr Obama’s challenge – not only in West Virginia but in white, working-class communities across the US. With a gun shop on its main street and churches dotted throughout the town, Williamson is the kind of community evoked by Mr Obama’s controversial comments last month about “bitter” small-town voters who “cling to guns or religion”.

“If he is the nominee, the Democrats have no chance of winning West Virginia,” said Missy Endicott, a 40- year-old school administrator. “He doesn’t understand ordinary Americans.”

IF MINGO COUNTY represents "ordinary Americans," Washington needs to sue for peace with Beijing before war has a chance to start.

Screw the veterans, we want Muslim veggies!

The Advocate in Baton Rouge reports that the House Appropriation Committee found room for some extra spending while it was recommending cuts to Louisiana's colleges and universities . . . and cuts to Medicaid, a veterans nursing home and biomedical research.

Here's what the folks who Louisiana voters elected to represent them think is more important than educating young people, caring for war veterans or curing dread diseases:

* $75,000 for the city of Zachary for an economic development master plan.
* $50,000 to the city of Central for economic development planning.
* $25,000 for the Louisiana Arts and Science Museum operations.
* $100,000 to improve the intersection at Florida and Sherwood Forest boulevards.
* $400,000 to improve Coursey Boulevard between Airline Highway and Jones Creek Road.
* $100,000 to improve the intersection at Jones Creek Road and Coursey Boulevard.
* $25,000 for equipment for the Baton Rouge Fire Department.
* $75,000 for the Pride Fire Department.
* $50,000 for park improvements for the city of Denham Springs.
* $50,000 to the McKinley High School Alumni Association for youth outreach activities.
* $20,000 to the American Muslim Mission of Baton Rouge for a year-round farmers market in old south Baton Rouge.

I'M SURE the old, sick veterans are especially excited that they're getting screwed over so that the McKinley High School Alumni Association might reach out and touch some yutes. Not to mention so that the Muslims will be able to hawk asparagus for Allah in the 'hood.

God helps those. . . .

Get into a discussion about poverty or social dysfunction among most any group of white folks, and it won't be long before someone prescribes the "bootstrap" cure for what ails "those people."

This is especially true back home, in the Gret Stet of Looziana.

AFTER ALL, as eeevvverrrrybody knows, God helps those who help themselves. It's in the Bible. Somewhere toward the back. I think.

Well, if that's how things work in Heaven and on earth, then what are we to make of a state that's at the bottom of all the good rankings and at the top of all the bad ones? What do we make of a people who kill one another at a faster-than-average clip, elect a frightening parade of crooks and buffoons to public office, and are disproportionately poor, ill and uneducated?

And what of a place that never seems to get a clue about the importance of public education, or of honest government, or of a diverse economy, or of just having roads and cities that don't look like out-of-control landfills?

While we're thinking about it, what do we make of an electorate that alternates between idolizing amusing scoundrels or looking for a political messiah to magically lift Louisiana out of the civic poo after it's (yet again) crapped in its own bed?

NOW, TO A BUNCH of average Louisiana Bubbas -- and, for that matter, to your average gaggle of Uptown Brahmins -- the answer is simple enough if you're talking about a poverty-stricken single mother of five who's not of the Caucasian persuasion.

Keep your knees together, get a damn job and quit waiting for the taxpayer to solve your damn problems.

But what about when a whole state of four million (and shrinking) is a basket case? If God helps those who help themselves, can we then assume -- to borrow from the right-wing's favorite African-American preacher -- that God has damned Louisiana?

If we're willing to bring down holy fire and brimstone upon the pitiful minority wretch who has squandered the assistance money on Colt 45 and cigarettes, and who drives Junior to his preliminary hearings in a welfare Cadillac . . . what, then, of a chronically ignorant state that has squandered 300 years of human and natural riches? And which, when it's budget-cutting time, always slashes the essentials and protects the chaff?

The Monroe (La.) News-Star recounts the latest verse of the same old song:

Proposed higher education budget cuts could "cripple" Louisiana's public colleges and universities if they are adopted, according to officials at the state Board of Regents.

Subcommittees of the House Appropriations Committee have recommended a total of $116 million in budget cuts, and nearly $70 million, or about 60 percent, are education related.

The House Appropriations Committee sets ordinary operating expenses each fiscal year. Members are scheduled to discuss House Bill 1 this Sunday.

The cuts are in response to a legislative directive to trim 5 percent from Gov. Bobby Jindal's executive budget.

"It just doesn't seem equitable that the best strategy they (the legislators) could come up with targets educational institutions," said Commissioner of Higher Education Joseph Savoie.

Approximately $31 million in proposed cuts would come from public colleges and universities, meaning higher education would absorb about 23 percent of the total reduction in budget.

"Any reduction would naturally have a negative effect," said Dan Reneau, president of Louisiana Tech University, who has survived 13 budget cuts during his tenure.

"For the first time last year we had 100 percent funding. To go below that — it just doesn't send a good message to the faculty," he said.

Reneau was referring to a formula designed to fund state colleges at an average comparable to institutions in the 16-state region known as the Southern Regional Education Board.

Based on 2006 figures — the most recent year data is available — the board set the average at $6,213 per student at four-year institutions. The average at two-year colleges is currently $3,150.

However, several variables affect the exact amount from institution to institution.

To maintain the SREB "at average" level, 16 schools across the state would need an additional infusion of funds this year, including Louisiana Delta Community College.

Delta stands to lose about $150,000 in funding, said Savoie.

"Prior to last year, we were well below the average. We've been working toward (100 percent funding at the SREB average) for a long time," said Savoie. "This idea of retreating from progress is ridiculous."

AS NOTED in an earlier post, no less an authority than retired LSU baseball coach Skip Bertman easily identified Louisiana's self-fulfilling mentality of shiftlessness.

A profile of the soon-to-be-former athletic director in 225 magazine noted that "from his bosses to his players, from the governor to the maintenance crew that chafed under his daily calls for updates on Alex Box, Bertman has noticed something about Louisiana: Mediocrity is accepted." [Emphasis mine -- R21.]

The article went on in damning detail:

“When the past governor and the one before her say, ‘We want to get to the Southern average,’ I think, ‘Our goal is to be average?’” Bertman says. “I’m not putting them down, and I understand what they mean, but you can imagine how that sounds to me. I’m not saying I could be governor and not have to say that, but in baseball I could do it.” Bertman recalls having to convince his 1984 team that they were unique and capable of achieving their goals. Two years later LSU finished fifth in the country, and by then all his players had to do for a confidence boost was put on the uniform.

IF BERTMAN IS RIGHT -- and he is, you know -- then it just doesn't matter how much American taxpayers pay to rebuild broken levees, or how high the new levees are. It doesn't matter whether American taxpayers pay to rebuild New Orleans, or put Louisiana homeowners back in rebuilt homes.

It doesn't matter whether the American taxpayer pays to rebuild south Louisiana's ruined infrastructure or rebuild its crappy roads and highways.

It doesn't matter whether we pay outrageous gas prices or sky-high air fares to vacation in the Bayou State, stuffing our already overstuffed American guts in its restaurants and braving the state's crazy-high sales tax to buy Looziana geegaws and tacky tee shirts.

None of it matters, because no matter how the American taxpayer tries to help the Gret Stet, the stupid bastards will just screw themselves up again -- it's in their nature. It has to be in their nature, like Skip says.

Who else but some basket-case, doesn't-have-the-good-sense-God-gave-a-jackass, knuckle-dragging, moron, metaphorical welfare queen writ large would make higher education take 60 percent of proposed budget cuts?

Especially when you're already a basket-case, doesn't-have-the-good-sense-God-gave-a-jackass, knuckle-dragging, moron, metaphorical welfare queen writ large.

Tell 'em to grab their bootstraps and pull.

Isn't Louisiana the state whose educated young people are fleeing in droves? Isn't Louisiana the state already woefully short on intellectual capital -- and workers capable of meeting the needs of a high-tech, information-based economy?

Isn't Louisiana the state that's already chasing after all sorts of economic development but -- when corporate America asks "What do you have to show me?" -- the only thing she can resort to is lifting up her shirt?

After all, God helps those who help themselves, and Louisiana hasn't done much to help herself. Why the hell should the American taxpayer be more generous than God?

Tell 'em to grab their bootstraps and pull.

And when Gov. Bobby Jindal goes to Washington and gives the guardians of our cash a song and dance about how Louisiana is stiil hurting and, by the way, it now has "the gold standard" of ethics laws? Particularly when that "gold standard" is a big sham that may look good but actually is worse than the "crap standard"?

Tell 'em to grab their bootstraps and pull.

LISTEN, LOUISIANA. This is the United States speaking. We can't help you.

Your problems, with the exception of the New Orleans levees, are self-inflicted. We can't fix that. Hell, we can't even get Hillary Clinton out of the Democratic primaries.

As any good ol' boy in your neck of the woods knows, your problems will be solved when you get off your lazy asses. In that vein, take an interest in your own governance, have a little pride in yourselves and your state, for God's sake, and just damn fix it.

Here's a helpful hint. Education is important, which you might have figured out for yourselves if you weren't so fuggin' ignorant. Don't cut that.

Otherwise, just grab those bootstraps and remember that God helps those who help themselves. Certainly, your legislators must know a little something about helping themselves.

Right?