Holy crap!

MEMO TO MY WIFE: You will not complain when I go into the bathroom with the newspaper.

You will not complain when I go into the bathroom with a trade paper, a magazine and a catalog.

You will not complain so long as I emerge from the bathroom on the same day I entered it.

Capiche?

NOW, from that very odd state of Kansas, here's a real loo loo from The Associated Press -- one that probably will leave you flush with horror and disbelief:

Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend's toilet after sitting on it for two years.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Lies, damn lies and TV 'exclusives'

An NCAA letter that Campaign for Boorish Dignity head Garry Gernandt touts as proof that Rosenblatt Stadium can be saved and still ensure Omaha's future as the long-term host of the College World Series proves only one thing.

IT PROVES that Garry Gernandt is a numbskull, and that the loudmouthed, ill-mannered and sartorially challenged civic lynch mob he leads is on the verge of costing the city the series -- a blow that might well dwarf the shot Omaha took when Enron packed up and moved out in the 1980s.

Here's what KMTV television reporter Joe Jordan, desperate for a "gotcha," unveiled as his "big scoop" on today's 5 p.m. newscast:

Action 3 News has uncovered a letter from the NCAA that sheds new light on the stadium battle and could give the city a way out of the current uproar over plans for a new downtown stadium.

The letter was written two weeks before Mayor Fahey took his sales pitch for a new downtown ballpark to the NCAA in Indianapolis, telling the city a one to five year contract extension is possible when the current contract expires in 2008.

In the letter the NCAA clearly noted that, "The NCAA does not have a preference for any specific proposal." The letter was written before several angry public hearings where the Mayor was almost on trial, "You sir should lose your job for this," criticized one angry citizen.

In the letter to College World Series Inc. President jack Deising [sic], the NCAA may have given the city an out, "If the local community is not of one mind regarding a long-term proposal for the College World Series, the NCAA would consider a traditional hosting term of five or fewer years."

IF YOU READ the actual letter, it's clear than the NCAA might not have a preference for any specific proposal for building a new ballpark. At least not before Omaha made its official pitch in Indianapolis last month. But what is clear from the letter is the NCAA does have a "preference" for -- at a bare minimum -- the kind of radical remake of Rosenblatt Stadium and the surrounding hardscrabble neighborhood that makes absolutely, positively no economic sense when compared to building anew downtown . . . and that it's quite ready to start looking elsewhere for what it demands.

Furthermore, the kind of renovation it's clear the NCAA would like to see at Rosenblatt would displace the Omaha Royals Triple-A baseball team for most of two seasons (likely to another city) and would take virtually the same amount of city revenues to pull off as would building anew in North Downtown next to the Qwest Center.

And if tax-phobic Omaha residents hate the thought that city fathers are plotting to soak them -- despite leaders' repeated denials -- to build a new downtown stadium, logic dictates that they ought to hate a renovation of Rosenblatt with the same level of paranoid, white-hot passion.

LET'S LOOK at what the letter actually says, as opposed to what Gernandt and Channel 3 have been touting.

AND WHAT does the National Collegiate Athletic Association mean when the letter, by baseball director Dennis Poppe, refers to its "expectations of an atmosphere and venue that is befitting the College World Series"?

To get an idea of that, let's go back to what has been reported thus far in the press. First, we go back to Oct. 12 of last year and open the pages of the Omaha World-Herald:

The details, found in private memos and letters reviewed by The World-Herald, support Mayor Mike Fahey's contention that the NCAA, not the mayor himself, is the driving force behind building a new $100 million stadium in north downtown.

But the letters also help explain why David Sokol, chairman of the Metropolitan Entertainment and Convention Authority, says that Fahey missed his chance early this year to strike a deal that would have retained the series with a much cheaper renovation of Rosenblatt Stadium.

Fahey disputes Sokol's contention, which the businessman made Thursday at a MECA meeting.

Both sides agree on one thing: the moment for a lower-cost renovation of Rosenblatt has passed.

A spokesman from the NCAA echoed that sentiment.

Bob Williams, managing director of media and public relations for the NCAA, said late Thursday: "If you keep Rosenblatt the way it is, it is not going to garner you a long-term agreement."

THERE WE HAVE from the horse's mouth that Rosenblatt as is is unacceptable as a long-term home for the CWS. So what does the NCAA want?

Again, from the World-Herald article from last fall:

On Feb. 23, city officials and Diesing made a formal Rosenblatt proposal to Dennis Poppe, the NCAA's managing director for football and baseball, in Fahey's office. The presentation was complete with flip charts and spread sheets, and Fahey and Diesing believed that it went well.

Then came the NCAA's response on March 12. The NCAA had a totally different concept:

"Build a new state-of-the-art facility to host the Men's College World Series in a location near downtown Omaha," the NCAA wrote in a memo to CWS Inc. "Not doing so amounts to putting an expensive band-aid over what ails aging Rosenblatt Stadium."

Sokol said his reading of the memo was that it was a suggestion to "think outside the box."

The memo points to the age of the stadium, which was built in 1948, as well as its services and amenities.

Rosenblatt has history, according to the NCAA memo, but what makes the CWS different from any other major championship is the affordability of tickets for families. And, according to the memo, affordability is what "makes the CWS so special, not the stadium."

The memo says some of Rosenblatt's character could be incorporated into a new downtown stadium, including moving the Road to Omaha statue to a brick plaza reminiscent of Rosenblatt's entrance.

The NCAA memo put a price tag on a new downtown stadium: $50 million.

The March memo from the NCAA concludes: "It is unlikely the proposed $26 million investment by the Omaha community for Rosenblatt will be the end of major capital improvement needs at the stadium in the next decade."

After receiving the memo, CWS Inc. and city officials brought in an architect to look at a downtown stadium plan. Fahey saw an opportunity to lock in a 20-year contract to ensure that the CWS would stay in Omaha through 2030. The initial downtown plan was presented to the NCAA in May.

On June 24, the NCAA wrote another memo, this time addressing both the downtown stadium plan and the proposed $26 million Rosenblatt renovation.

On Rosenblatt, the NCAA wrote: "There are limitations to Rosenblatt Stadium that are not addressed by the proposed renovation plan." The NCAA then gave an extensive list of problems from narrow concourses to the lack of a drug-testing area.

The NCAA asked whether the city was willing "to commit significantly more than the $26 million to the immediate and long-term needs of the facility."

The NCAA also raised its estimated cost of a new stadium to $100 million, noting that industry contacts consider it "more cost-effective to build a new facility rather than attempt to renovate an aging venue."

"Why would we not pursue the construction of a new stadium given this opinion from the industry?" the NCAA asked in the memo.

Then, on Aug. 28, a more detailed plan for a new stadium north of the convention center and arena was presented to a team of NCAA officials.

On Sept. 14, the NCAA response arrived. While taking no position on where a new stadium should be situated, the NCAA endorsed Omaha's plans. The city and CWS Inc. "have listened to the NCAA's stated needs for the College World Series," it said.

The mayor has formed a seven-person committee to look at all issues related to the ballpark, including rebuilding Rosenblatt.

Sokol, who will sit on that committee, believes that the $26 million renovation would have been enough to satisfy the NCAA had the mayor acted early this year. Now, Sokol believes, it will be much more expensive to keep the CWS.

Diesing, president of CWS Inc., said the process didn't break down, and there's no going back.

PLEASE, DO WE NEED any more evidence to the extent of Gernandt's and the Campaign for Boorish Dignity's utter disingenuousness, not to mention the extent to which TV journalism has become dumbed down and memory-challenged?

Joe Jordan and Garry Gernandt's "gotcha" letter from the NCAA concludes:

IT DOESN'T TAKE a rocket scientist to interpret "would consider a traditional hosting term of five or fewer years following the current agreement's conclusion in 2010." And, no, it does not mean "Never mind, Omaha. We love you just the way you are."

It doesn't even mean Omaha will get a second chance to get its act together to save the series. It means what it says -- if the city can't come to a prompt agreement on giving the NCAA exactly what it wants -- in effect, a brand-new stadium in a better location or the virtual equivalent thereof -- the NCAA might give Omaha a very few years (or less) to give it exactly what it wants.

Then again, maybe not.

The one thing we do know for certain is there are other cities out there that want the College World Series, and they can give the NCAA exactly what it wants right now. Not in a decade or more . . . or never, if Garry Gernandt and his angry band of ill-mannered louts succeed in bullying the city government into hanging on to a stadium the NCAA no longer sees as fit for its second-largest championship event.

For that matter, a stadium the Omaha Royals aren't too keen on, either.

PERHAPS, in order to buck up city councilmen in the face of insurrection by the Campaign for Boorish Dignity, we can turn to the comments the Save Rosenblatt Committee has seen fit to post on its own website. I think that would be pretty instructive:

* I have been to many a game there over the last few years and Rosenblatt contains a lot of my memories. My husband is against the demise also. Rosenblatt is a perfectly good stadium. We do not need to demise it and build another just to say we did. Thanks.

* Who wants to go to gun play area omaha to watch a game. NO Thanks

*I GREW UP ON 12TH AND ARTHUR ST. 1947. ROSENBLATT STADIUM HAS BEEN THE ROCK OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD. PERSONS THAT PURCHASED THEIR PROPERTY, KNEW THE STADIUM IS THERE. OMAHA SEEMS TO WANT TO REDO EVERYTHING. ARK-SAR-BEN IS NOT AROUND ANYMORE. MORE SHOPPING. ANYONE? PEONY PARK IS NOT AROUND ANYMORE, WHERE DOES ONE GO, FOR AMUSEMENT. I THOUGHT, WE WERE GOING TO BUILD A AMUSEMENT PARK DOWN TOWN, NOTTTTTTT. THE SANTA LUCHIA CELEBRATION IS DOWNTOWN, NOT ON 6TH ST. WHERE ALL OUR ANCESTORS, PARENTS GREW UP............ NOT THE SAME..................... ROSENBLATT STADIUM WAS USED YEARS AGO FOR HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAMES, HOMECOMINGS, WHY DON'T WE USE IT FOR THAT TOO.

IF ROYALS OR WHO EVER WANTS A SMALLER STADIUM, THEY CAN BUILD THIER OWN AND KEEP ROSENBLATT. IF THEY WANT CROWDS OF PEOPLE FOR ROYALS, OFFER, TWO DOLLAR SEATS , IN THE ONES THAT ARE EMPTY. AND OFFER A DOLLAR CAN OF SODA IN THOSE AREAS. KIDS ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO DO. AS WELLS AS ADULTS ON LIMITED IMCOME. ALSO INSTEAD OF EMPTY LOT, OFFER HANDICAP PARKING FOR THOSE WITH WALKERS, WHEEL CHAIRS, ETC. GET REAL, STOP REDO THING, AND OFFER MORE TO OMAHA. THE POLITICIANS CAN AFFORD ANYTHING. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LIMITED IMCOME PEOPLE.

THANKS FOR OFFERING THIS WEBSITE TO SAVE, ROSENBLATT.

*Don't gid rid of Rosenblatt!!! No matter how nice the new stadium would be, it would NOT be the same. SAVE ROSENBLATT!!!

*Screw the zoo interests that want Rosenblatt to go away - this is the reality of the situation. The friggin' monkeys, lions and tigers want room to expand. Wrigley Field and Fenway exude the same aura that make Rosenblatt a special place during the CWS.

*This is a stupid idea to have it close to Creighton and the Qwest as if traffic on Cumming is not bad enough during Bluejay games and I'm not keen on paying for parking for the Royals!!!!!

The NCAA is always talking about keeping the integrity in athletics, so put your money were your mouth is, LEAVE ROSENBLATT AND THE SERIES WERE IT IS, it's not broken, but the Bowl system is in football is, so FIX THAT!!!!!!!!

ON ONE SIDE of this colossal civic argument, you have facts, figures and a stack of correspondence from the NCAA outlining exactly what it wants for the CWS to stay in Omaha -- and that Rosenblatt ain't it.

On the other side, you have sentimentality, anger, some South Omahans worried their yard-parking franchise is about to disappear . . . and a deluded few who think the CWS will go away if anybody changes Rosenblatt one iota.

In short, on the one side you have informed opinion -- opinion based on engineering, economics, financials and the NCAA's stated desires for the CWS -- while on the other, the Save Rosenblatt people are counting on the ill-informed to out-holler people who actually know what the hell they're talking about.

Sadly, the louts look like they might win in a rout.

I had thought Omaha was better than that. That's because I had forgotten exactly how good Omahans can be at shooting themselves in the foot . . . and deluding themselves about how manifest to the rest of America are the charms of a midsized city with an intemperate climate in the middle of "flyover country."

HPV isn't the disease, it's the symptom

The United States is a nation awash in condoms, and the only gospel anyone is particularly comfortable preaching anymore is the gospel of "safe sex." And sexually transmitted diseases are running amok among American teens.

So wha'happen?

If you're a Boomer like me, and if you can read this Associated Press story and not want to rend your garments and pour ashes over your head in grief and guilt over the sick patrimony our generation has bequeathed to our children . . . well, then you are seriously screwed up:

At least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease, or more than 3 million teens, according to the first study of its kind in this age group.

A virus that causes cervical cancer is by far the most common sexually transmitted infection in teen girls aged 14 to 19, while the highest overall prevalence is among black girls — nearly half the blacks studied had at least one STD. That rate compared with 20 percent among both whites and Mexican-American teens, the study from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found.

About half of the girls acknowledged ever having sex; among them, the rate was 40 percent. While some teens define sex as only intercourse, other types of intimate behavior including oral sex can spread some infections.

For many, the numbers likely seem “overwhelming because you’re talking about nearly half of the sexually experienced teens at any one time having evidence of an STD,” said Dr. Margaret Blythe, an adolescent medicine specialist at Indiana University School of Medicine and head of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ committee on adolescence.

PERHAPS WE HAVE less a medical emergency than a moral and philosophical one. And maybe the worst infection laying waste to our children and our future isn't HPV, but instead MTV.

And BET . . . and TNT . . . and ABC . . . and NBC . . . and CBS.

It's simple enough to escape infectious venereal disease by not sleeping around, and then by marrying someone who hasn't slept around. At least theoretically. But it's not so simple to escape a toxic and pervasive American junk culture that has warped our minds and deadened our souls.

That, of course, not only makes not sleeping around and marrying someone who hasn't slept around not only damned difficult, but also absolutely heroic.

Agnus Dei, qui tolis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

Who let the clods out?

Garry Gernandt and Jason Smith brought their "Save Rosenblatt" dial-a-mob to Omaha's Westside High on Monday night, showing the rest of the city that what might pass for "democracy" in South O is cut from the same cloth that gets 15-year-olds sent home for three days at your average secondary school.

BUT THEN AGAIN, out here in Not South O, democracy ideally is a little more nuanced than the lynch-mob tactics by "activists" who think screaming constitutes a rebuttal, rudeness fosters debate and that keeping an old stadium that can't offer the NCAA what it wants will keep the College World Series here forever.

Ideally. Because last night, somebody gave Gernandt's Campaign for Boorish Dignity a map to my neighborhood, and all hell broke loose.

Of course, a reporter for the Omaha World-Herald was there to document a case study in why America is a republic and not a direct democracy:

During an hourlong question-and-answer period that was interrupted several times by jeers and shouting, residents questioned everything from the financing plan for the proposed $140 million stadium to whether the NCAA would move the College World Series to another city.

Some of the exchanges were more heated than at the previous forums, with attendees interrupting to chant for a vote on the stadium.

Omahan Gary Tevis told Fahey he is worried that the stadium is an unnecessary cost when the city is already facing an expensive overhaul of its sewer system and the debt for the Qwest Center Omaha.

"There is no way that the city is ever going to be able to afford this," Tevis said. "There's more holes in this plan than Swiss cheese."

Omahan Ryan Chappelear told Fahey that he should lose his job over his handling of the stadium issue.

Westside High freshman Troy Green asked why the city was pushing for a new stadium now.

"Why don't you take five years and save up for the new stadium?" Green asked to a round of applause.

Jack Diesing, president of College World Series of Omaha Inc., responded that the city has a "once in a lifetime opportunity" to keep the CWS here, and it has to take it.

"It's not called the road to Rosenblatt, it's called the road to Omaha," said Diesing, who earlier warned that Omaha has a real chance of losing the CWS if the city doesn't move forward with a new stadium.

While many people at the forum loudly opposed the stadium, the plan had supporters. Some were shouted down when they praised Fahey and the baseball stadium oversight committee, while others simply clapped to show support.

SO FAR, the city's stadium study committee -- the body that studied the options, ran the numbers and hired the consultants -- has reams of data supporting its conclusion that a new downtown stadium is the way to go to make the National Collegiate Athletic Association happy and keep the CWS in Omaha for decades to come. And, so far, the Campaign for Boorish Dignity has no studies, no data, no specifics and no clue.

What it does have is a bunch of disruptive boobs and yahoos skilled at shouting down those who are trying to cite studies, share data, give specifics and make a cogent argument.

This is supposed to be persuasive. Well, perhaps that is persuasion in a community where economic development is sending your teen-age daughter out to the curb -- in a bikini -- the third week of June with a sign that says "Park Hear -- $20 CHEEP!"

BUT I GUESS that Omaha -- after H.L. Mencken's "booboisie" costs it the CWS and the $41 million a year it generates for the city -- will just have to get by on its regular tourist trade. You know, all those millions of people who flock here for the mountains, the sea breezes, the waters and the favorable climate year round.

That damned (though lovely) Honor Blackman

Two stories. One governor. All about the same thing, and the lengths to which some politicians will go to get it . . . or make it an obligation-free entitlement via the charnel-house method.

What is it? Let's just say Agent 007 "had" the answer in Goldfinger.

Here's the latest breaking story, still unfolding as I type, from The New York Times:

Gov. Eliot Spitzer has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation.

The wiretap recording, made during an investigation of a prostitution ring called Emperors Club VIP, captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a room. The person briefed on the case identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.

The governor learned that he had been implicated in the prostitution probe when a federal official contacted his staff last Friday, according to the person briefed on the case.

The governor informed his top aides Sunday night and this morning of his involvement. He canceled his public events today and scheduled an announcement for this afternoon after inquiries from the Times.

The governor’s aides appeared shaken, and one of them began to weep as they waited for him to make his statement at his Manhattan office. Mr. Spitzer was seen leaving his Fifth Avenue apartment just before 3 p.m. with his wife of 21 years, Silda, heading to the news conference.

The man described as Client 9 in court papers arranged to meet with a prostitute who was part of the ring, Emperors Club VIP, on the night of Feb. 13. Mr. Spitzer traveled to Washington that evening, according to a person told of his travel arrangements.

The affidavit says that Client 9 met with the woman in hotel room 871 but does not identify the hotel. Mr. Spitzer stayed at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington on Feb. 13, according to a source who was told of his travel arrangements. Room 871 at the Mayflower Hotel that evening was registered under the another name.

(snip)

Mr. Spitzer gained national attention when he served as attorney general with his relentless pursuit of Wall Street wrongdoing. As attorney general, he also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.

In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.

“”This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. ”It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”

AND NOW, THE OLDER, less sexy story that's pretty much about exactly the same thing, as reported by Rochester's Catholic diocesean newspaper:

New York state's eight bishops -- including Rochester's Bishop Matthew H. Clark -- voiced in a joint March 10 statement their strong opposition to Gov. Eliot Spitzer's proposed Reproductive Health and Privacy Protection Act.

The bishops' statement describes the proposed legislation as "a radical proposal" that would elevate abortion to a fundamental right in New York state and maintain the state's reputation as the "abortion capital of the United States." The bishops are calling on all Catholics to let their legislators know they oppose this bill, which Spitzer introduced last spring. The bishops also plan to meet privately with Spitzer March 10 to discuss the proposal, as well as education tax credits and other critical issues facing the state.

The proposal, known as RHAPP, would establish the choice to terminate a pregnancy as a protected and fundamental right and ensure abortions are legal throughout all nine months of pregnancy, according to Jann Armantrout, the Diocese of Rochester's life-issues coordinator, who spoke about the proposal Feb. 27 at St. Mary Parish in Waterloo. It would allow post-viability abortions to be performed outside of hospitals and on an outpatient basis in clinics, It also would transfer the state's abortion-related laws from the criminal code into public-health law.

RHAPP would make abortion virtually immune from state regulation and reverse the current law requiring that only doctors may perform abortion. Instead, it would allow any health-care practitioner to perform the procedures, Armantrout said. It also would block the passage of an "Unborn Victims of Violence Act," meaning that those convicted of killing a pregnant woman and her unborn child could only be punished for one murder.

Last but not least, RHAPP would eliminate from current law conscience protections that allow doctors and hospitals to refuse to perform abortions; medical students to refuse to learn how to perform abortions; and Catholic agencies, hospitals and schools to refuse to provide insurance coverage for abortions, Armantrout said.

"The extremism of this proposal is couched in euphemisms like 'choice' and 'reproductive health care for women.' The words have become unmoored from their meaning; they cannot mask the fact that the bill attempts to legislate approval for a procedure that is always gravely wrong," the bishops said in their statement.

SEE, JAMES BOND exists only in literature and in the movies. Having your cake and bedding it, too, gets a lot more complicated -- and untidy -- in the real world.

Laws get broken. People get hurt. Babies get killed in the womb.

All because of, well . . . you know.

Campaign for Boorish Dignity

I always used to think of "A Confederacy of Dunces" as a New Orleans thing. A fabulously hilarious, rooted-in-people-I-know, only in New Orleans -- or at least South Louisiana -- thing.

HOW COULD YOU place the likes of Ignatius P. Reilly anywhere else? Squabbling with Mama in front of D.H. Holmeses on Canal Street. Ravenous -- and, unsuprisingly, failed -- vendor of Lucky Dogs in da Quarter. Wearer of a wool hunting cap and plagued by a problematic "valve."

Filler of Big Chief tablets and owner of a soiled bed sheet. Abysmally unsuited leader of a worker rebellion at the Levy Pants factory, soiled-sheeted standard bearer for the Campaign for Moorish Dignity.

Could such a quixotic character, such a comically oblivious lost-causer, exist anywhere outside the Crescent City?

Well, come to think of it . . . yeah.

Enter Omaha City Councilman Garry Gernandt, leader of the fight to save Rosenblatt Stadium and defender of South O residents' right to shake down hapless College World Series fans for ad hoc parking spots on their well-worn lawns.

Concrete blocks optional.

Gernandt and the bedraggled masses behind his Campaign for Boorish Dignity standard stand unalterably and vocally opposed to Mayor Mike Fahey's plan to move the baseball series to a brand-new, state-of-the-art downtown stadium.

Yes, it would cost city coffers just as much to renovate the 60-year-old Rosenblatt to less than what the National Collegiate Athletic Association wants in a CWS venue as it would to build new downtown. And no, down in South O, there still wouldn't be many hotel rooms within walking distance of the CWS site -- so Omaha would have to stiff the NCAA on that point, too.

True, the NCAA has a lengthy list of wants for its fast-growing championship event. And, no, Omaha wouldn't be able to satisfy a lot of those wants at the old park that's been the CWS' home since 1950.

And yes, a new downtown park -- Have I mentioned it would cost the city no more than trying to fix up the aging 'Blatt? -- would meet all those NCAA demands and likely earn the city a 20- to 25-year contract extension as host of the Series. Meanwhile, failure to build a new downtown park likely would cost Omaha the CWS forever and ever, amen.

After 60 years.

But that's not important now. Not to Garry Gernandt and his foot soldiers in the Campaign for Boorish Dignity.

Some of the campaign's well-researched counterarguments were reported in Friday's Omaha World-Herald:

"Rosenblatt is Omaha. Rosenblatt is the College World Series. Rosenblatt is the tradition of baseball in Omaha," said Al Italia, 75, who has attended CWS games at the old stadium for 58 years.

Mary Ehrhart summed it up: "We are angry, and we are frustrated."

HOW CAN economic-development rationales and financial spreadsheets refute that? Not that CWS of Omaha, Inc., chief Jack Diesing Jr. didn't try . . . when he could get a word in edgewise amid the revolutionary hecklers and boobirds:

Diesing appeared to have the most trouble balancing the emotional attachment to Rosenblatt and the decision to move downtown. He acknowledged several friends in the audience he had spent hours with enjoying the CWS over the past four decades.

"It's been the crown jewel for Omaha for 59 years," Diesing said. "But the decision is not about the past. It's about the future."

"Change is hard," Diesing said, "but change is good."

But Diesing also was heckled when he told the crowd that the NCAA was presented with only the downtown option and not an alternative of a renovated Rosenblatt. After the uproar subsided, Diesing explained that the NCAA asked Omaha to bring its single best proposal and not a stack of options.

AH, but the Good Book sayeth "Let not thy mind be troubled by facts and logic when you think The Man is out to screweth thou overeth and smiteth thy annual lawn-parking windfall."

I'm not sure what book and chapter, but it's somewhere near the back, I think. Right in there between Revelation and Zesto.

No, the important thing to remember is "Rosenblatt is Omaha. Rosenblatt is the College World Series." And if making that point means the actual CWS picks up and moves to Indianapolis . . . or Oklahoma City . . . or Orlando, then so be it. Right?

Thing is, the only other permanent tenant for beloved Rosenblatt Stadium is the Omaha Royals, the Triple-A baseball team whose management really, really would rather play somewhere else than in a ballpark that's three quarters empty just about every time those not-ready-for-prime-time boys of summer take the field.

Without the CWS to justify the existence of -- and forcing the Royals to play in -- a too-big hilltop ballyard, you can bet your last kolache that the club's owners will build their own smaller stadium downtown or extort the city to build one for them. Or else.

Of course, the Campaign for Boorish Dignity could gear up to "save Rosenblatt" one more time, but success would just be telling the O Royals not to let the door hit them in the arse on their way out of town. And where would that leave Rosenblatt Stadium, not to mention South Omaha yard-parking economics?

SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM with fired-up mobs of loud people with small brains. They can't see past their slogans, and they never wonder "Who is that odd man with the banner made out of a soiled bedsheet?"

That man would be Garry ("Extra 'R' for sale! Five dolla . . . cheap!") Gernandt. And the thing Gernandt won't tell his 'Blatt mob -- probably because he hasn't figured it out himself -- is that Rosenblatt Stadium is toast, no matter what.

It might be sooner, or it might be later, but the 'Blatt has had it. The only question still open is whether Omaha will lose the 'Blatt and keep the College World Series, or whether it will lose them both.

Now, if it would smooth the path toward building a new baseball stadium in North Downtown, maybe the city could meet the Campaign for Boorish Dignity halfway. Rosenblatt still would come down, and the Henry Doorly Zoo still would get the property, but the city could funnel all the CWS overflow traffic down 13th Street to South O residents' front yards.

Councilman Gernandt would be in charge of the free hayrack shuttle to the new ballpark, and the parking hucksters in the old neighborhood still could soak the out-of-towners for whatever the parking market will bear.

Concrete blocks extra.

3 Chords & the Truth: Just playin' the tunes

Today on the Big Show, there are no big themes or intricate thematic sets of music.

Today on 3 Chords & the Truth, it's one of those shows where we just play the damn music and kick back. Because that's the kind of mood we're in aujourd'hui. D'accord? Bien.

As usual, though, the tunes are tasty and we cover a lot of territory on the continuum of good stuff. Yes, we do.

YOU'LL ALSO NOTE that your Mighty Favog has made some adjustments to the 3 Chords & the Truth formatics, giving an aural feel that's a lot closer to the spirit of the program and, we're hopeful, a lot less stereotypically "radio" in its sound.

After all, it's a new age of media, and new ages require new ways of thinking about how you do this mass communication thing. The rub, however, is unlearning what we old farts have learned over a lifetime.

More precisely, the problem is in unlearning the shopworn parts of what we old farts have learned over a lifetime and replacing them with fresh, yet substantive, new parts.

Or something like that.

Give the Big Show a listen, will you? And let us know what you think.

Be there. Aloha.

NOLA's nattering nabob of noonies

I am not making the following Ray Nagin story up because, frankly, you can't.

In fact, just when you think you've seen the Full Nagin from New Orleans' buffoon-in-chief, the man just does something so insane that you realize that he's been holding back all these years, and that C. Ray has untold reservoirs of whack he can call upon at a moment's notice.

So, without further ado, here is the latest in the ongoing serial, Adventures of Chocolate Mayor, as reported by WRNO radio:

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin says he is "a vagina-friendly Mayor."

Nagin made the remark while welcoming the author of the Vagina Monlogues, Eve Ensler to the city to promote the "V-Day" celebration in New Orleans next month.

(snip)

Mayor Nagin began his comments at the news conference by saying, "How am I gonna stand up and say, I'm a 'vagina-friendly' Mayor to these cameras after 'Chocolate City' and some of the other stuff that I've done. But you know what? I'm in."

"She (Ensler) started describing the event, and you know what, I'm a guy and I've heard about the Vagina Monologues but I don't know what was going on. I didn't know anything about it and she started to describe this event - look, you know I've got a script and I'm not following it - and I was absolutely blown away at how awesome this work is. I mean, she is doing God's work. So, I stand before you, a vagina-friendly Mayor. I am in! And you know what? It is so appropriate right now. New Orleans, Louisiana is the birthplace of jazz, you know, but it is the birthplace of so many tremendous women."

HA HA HA HA HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(gasp)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!! HAW HAW HAW HAW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAR HAR HAR HAR . . . GAAAAAAACK!!!

(thud)

THAT, NEW ORLEANS, was the sound of the rest of America (and the world, I dare say) no longer laughing with you but, instead, laughing at you. There is a difference.

Enjoy the mayor you re-elected at the most pivotal moment of your almost-300-year history.

Gimme that old-time anti-Semitism. . . .

Oftentimes, it gets real weird real fast in the Catholic ghetto.

So weird that a generation of Catholics -- adrift in a Marty Haugen present and groping in the dark for a glorious lost Church it never knew -- will grab onto any crazy damn thing that brings to mind what it must have been like in the Good Old Days. Some turn to websites full of alleged signs, wonders and prophesies of how Mary warned that Jesus said that the Father's about to kick some cosmological ass and avenge the offended sensibilities of the True Faithful in this vale of tears.

OTHERS FIND a bishop who talks a good orthodox game and gives him the kind of fealty they ought to be reserving for Christ . . . even when the prelate turns out to be a better wolf than he is a shepherd. As we have witnessed again and again since 2001 in the Scandals.

And others, still, go around trying to rehabilitate notoriously nutty, anti-Semitic radio priests from the 1930s. Yes, I mean that demagogue of the Depression-era airwaves, the Rev. Charles E. Coughlin.

Unsurprisingly, I stumbled across this last phenomenon because of the Catholic Blog Awards. It's that time of the year in the Catholic blogosphere, and various members of "St. Blog's Parish" are campaigning for Best Whatever of 2008.

The awards are administered by cyberCatholics.com, based in Abbeville, La. (Oh, Lord, why are all these things in my home state?) And if you go to the cyberCatholics.com home page -- which advertises nominations for the Catholic Blog Awards, incidentally -- and if you scroll down a bit, you will see a column of "guest contributors."

Actually, make that guest contributor. All of the highlighted articles (for example, "Wikipedia is Marxist!") are by the same Canadian guy, Stephen Volk. One of them, naturally, is a press release for the website FatherCoughlin.com:

For everthing [sic] there is a season! Knowing that "Satan" means "slander," it's time to call a firm halt against the decades of unwarranted liberal slander towards Father Charles Coughlin…

While this man should by now be hailed as one of America's great heroes - who tirelessly fought for the poor during the Great Depression - his name is still being sloshed in the mud of liberal propaganda.

I have read many first editions by and about Father Coughlin. It is easy to conclude that he was never an antisemite. Absolute nonsense. But in the charisms of the Church he did have powerful, powerful God-given Gifts of Wisdom, Discernment and Knowledge:

"I do ask , however, an insane world to distinguish between the innocent Jew and the guilty Jew as much as I would ask the same insane world to distinguish between the innocent gentile and the guilty gentile."

Is this not completely fair? Or does the Bible not say, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

To clear up decades of confusion, www.FatherCoughlin.com is now open! As a Grand Opening Gift to you, go now to download your FREE complete book by Father Charles Coughlin, "Am I an AntiSemite?" Then check back often for FREE download of all his radio programs!

Why the urgency? Because today's "political correctness" is cultural Marxism.

Once again, we need strong, visionary leadership to prayerfully and boldly combat this before our civilization is left in ruins!

WAS FATHER COUGHLIN an anti-Semite? Here's a clue, from a Time magazine article, dated Nov. 14, 1938:

In Switzerland four years ago a book went on trial—the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion—in a suit brought and won by the Swiss Jewish Community against two booksellers (TIME, Nov. 12, 1934). This notorious work, first published in Russia 33 years ago and circulated more or less surreptitiously throughout the western world since then, purported to expose a Jewish plot to destroy Christian civilization, dominate the earth. The Protocols, as the Swiss court found, have been repeatedly proved a fraud.

(snip)

Yet in the past two months Rev. Charles Edward Coughlin, rabble-rousing radio priest, has published the Protocols in his weekly Social Justice. Brushing aside the matter of their authenticity, Father Coughlin repeatedly stressed their "factuality," quoted Henry Ford (a onetime believer in the Protocols) : "They fit in with what is going on." Father Coughlin's point, buttered with many a some-of-my-best- friends-are-Jews disclaimer of antiSemitism, has been that Jews are to blame for Communism, that the aims of the Protocols closely resemble those of Communism—and of the New Deal, the C. I. O., numerous other Coughlin bogies.

Last week a fellow priest went to bat against the authenticity of the Protocols and, inferentially, against Jew-Baiter Coughlin. He was Rev. Michael Joseph ("Mike") Ahern, jovial, witty Jesuit, head of the geology department at Weston College near Boston. On his Sunday radio Catholic Truth Period, Father Ahern drew upon European Catholic sources to demolish the Protocols.

He closed his talk with a quotation from a recent talk by Pope Pius XI which, although published in European Catholic papers, has not been publicized in the U. S.* Said the Pope: "It is not possible for Christians to take part in antiSemitism. We fully acknowledge that everybody has the right to defend himself, protect himself against whatever threatens his legitimate interests. But anti-Semitism is inadmissible. We are all Semites spiritually."

OF COURSE, the careful historian must consider his primary-source material. After all, this article was in Time, and Time was part of the media and -- as Coughlin often told his radio audience -- the press is dominated by the Jews.

Or so true anti-Semites would have us believe.

While Coughlin was serializing the "Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion" -- a modern-day favorite of Islamic radicals everywhere -- in his national newspaper, something big was about to happen in Nazi Germany. The night of Nov. 9 - 10, 1938, came to be known as Kristallnacht.

A month later, Coughlin continued a series of radio talks proposing that the Nazis weren't right, necessarily, but they had their reasons for going after the Jews. Make sure you click on Undercover Black Man's audio links.

Here's what, again, Time reported about the first of Coughlin's post-Kristallnacht radio programs in its Nov. 28, 1938, edition:

Although all week U. S. radio had been speaking with thunderous unanimity against Nazi pogroms, Father Coughlin made resounding reservations when he joined the chorus. Nazi persecution of Jews was bad, he said, but communist persecution of Christians was worse. Admitting that his sources were Nazi, he said that 56 out of 59 members of the Central Committee of the Communist Party in the U. S. S. R. were Jews. He also accused Kuhn, Loeb & Co. of giving financial aid to the Bolshevik Revolution, attributed that accusation to a British White Paper.

Promptly Station WMCA (Manhattan) spoke for itself, followed its broadcast of the speech with more than the usual disclaimer of responsibility. Said the WMCA announcer: "Unfortunately, Father Coughlin has uttered certain mistakes of fact."

BOY, THOSE LEFTIST media Jews really had it in for that preacher of the True Faith, didn't they?

Or perhaps it's just that some "Catholic" websites have a weakness for lunatic-fringe "contributors" who specialize in defending the indefensible. Like the egregious media offerings of a demagogue Catholic priest from long ago, in some mythical gilded age when everything that called itself Catholic must have been really, really Catholic.

I shudder to think of what future generations in some dystopian remnant Church might latch onto from this present era of American Catholicism. Note to Catholics of the future: The music of Marty Haugen and David Haas --to name only a couple of bad composers of my time -- sucks now, and it'll suck then, too. Be forewarned.

The Catholic ghetto is a strange and interesting place. And the things Catholics in the cultural feedback loop get caught up with brings to mind a thought that, frankly, scares the crap out of me -- everything we do is a witness to the faith. And I have proven myself lousy at this "witness" thing over and over and over again.

You see, the Catholic cultural ghetto is just like the Evangelical ghetto, or the bar-scene ghetto, or the hip-hop ghetto, or any kind of popular-culture ghetto. There's a pearl to be found here and there (for example, the glories of the gin-and-tonic or black-and-tan within the bar-scene ghetto), but there's a lot more junk and stupidity to be found there.

For example, getting stupid drunk and throwing up all over your pants and shoes after too damn many gin-and-tonics or black-and-tans.

So, while all these Catholic blogs in the Internet section of the Catholic ghetto are competing for Best Whatever in the Catholic Blog Awards -- all in good fun, it must be said -- somebody who knows squat about the Church or what she really stands for . . . what Christ really stands for . . . is going to start following the links and seeing what's there.

If we're lucky, they might find an alleged image of the Blessed Mother on a piece of burned toast.

If we're not, they'll find some wingnut making apologies for a Jew-hating priest from Radio Days past on a website called cyberCatholics.com, which runs the Catholic Blog Awards, which lots of Catholic bloggers want to win.

And in the name of truth, justice and good taste, they'll look elsewhere for . . . well . . . truth, justice and good taste.

Four Songs: Stoned again

Bob Dylan sez:

Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good,
They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to go home.
Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, they'll stone ya when you're walkin' 'long the street.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to keep your seat.
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' on the floor.
They'll stone ya when you're walkin' to the door.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.

AND IT'S the God's honest truth.

This may have something to do with this week's episode of Four Songs, but I don't want to give it all away. Y'knowwhatImean, Vern?

So I guess you'll just have to download the bite-sized musical offering from the Revolution 21 empire and hear for yourself. OK?

'White schools' and 'n***** schools'

The problem with conservative ideologues like Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal is that rarely do they "conserve" anything. Except, of course, the ability of radical individualists to blow up society for their own profit.

Thus, the dirty little secret behind the "school choice" agenda Jindal has embraced in his call for the state's second special legislative session this year, as reported by The Times-Picayune of New Orleans:

The governor spent little time in his prepared remarks on the tuition tax deduction proposal. But teachers union lobbyist Steve Monaghan said afterward that it could define the tax portion of the session.

At a $20 million cost -- allowing parents to deduct half of each child's tuition cost up to $5,000 per child when figuring their taxable income -- the plan is a blip on the state's budget radar. But the precedent, Monaghan said, would establish that the state's educational priority list is no longer topped by public schools.

"This is a distraction," said Monaghan, president of the Louisiana Federation of Teachers. "If we're truly concerned about building a world-class public education system, then we have to stop sending mixed messages. Why incentivize sending children to private schools?"

Jindal said the idea, which was not part of his campaign platform, came from several legislators and other advocates of "school choice."

"They made a persuasive case," the governor said. "We think it's important for our families to be able to send their children to high-quality schools all over Louisiana."

WHY IS IT that someone who bills himself as a "conservative" -- particularly a fiscal one -- is so enamored of what amounts to welfare for the well off? Or at least well off enough to shell out thousands of dollars a year in private-school tuition.

Welfare for the at least moderately well off is what Jindal's proposed tax credit is, too. And it's what passes for sound public policy in the eyes of Jindal's buddies in the "school choice" movement.

One of those "school choice" friends is Rolfe McCollister, publisher of the Baton Rouge Business Report and a founder of the city's Children's Charter School.

McCollister, who's had his scrapes with the local school system, recently penned a column calling on voters not to renew a penny sales tax that funds part of teachers' salaries and provides funds for school construction and renovation. He decries the local public schools' poor performance, particularly their record with at-risk students.

This despite his own charter school's barely passing grade from the Great Schools website, which uses publicly available data and parent ratings to grade America's schools. In fact, according to Great Schools, McCollister's Children's Charter School had the second highest pupil-teacher ratio of any school within a five-mile radius, while earning only a 6 rating on a 10-point scale.

One would think Children's Charter School would be drawing the at-risk children of the most motivated of at-risk parents. Parents you would assume at least gave enough of a damn to try a charter school. Yet. . . .

On a college grade scale, 60 percent is a D. Barely. On my old high-school grade scale, 60 percent is a solid F. And one nearby public, non-charter school at least managed a C. Barely.

IF I'M BOBBY JINDAL, I'm going to be seeking out advice on education policy from "D" educators? And I'm going to be following these folks' advice to pursue a policy of undermining public schools . . . for what, exactly?

There are none so blind as right-wing pols who refuse to see.

"Conserving" a civic culture and a functional society does not include aiding and abetting the "school choice" of the relatively privileged while abandoning the rest to a "separate and unequal" public-education system. There is no "conservative" principle, properly understood, in tolerating decay and dysfunction as the normative environment of those "left behind" in public schools.

(East Baton Rouge Parish public schools, in the wake of court-ordered desegregation, now are 83 percent minority and 79 percent African-American. Most students are eligible for free or reduced-price lunches.)

And there is nothing "conservative" about opening the public coffers, wholesale, to private groups for carrying out the public's business. In this case, that would be educating Louisiana's children.

"Conservatives" have forgotten -- utterly -- the flip side of freedom. That would be "duty." Just because middle- and upper-class folk have the ability to "escape" a struggling school system, that freedom to do so does not therefore become an entitlement underwritten in whole or in part by the state.

And it certainly does not translate into some "right" to cast the less privileged into an abyss of voters' making, either by commission -- as in the separate but unqual of Jim Crow days -- or by omission . . . as in the separate but unequal of some McCollisterian "I'm not paying a cent of tax money for 'failed schools'" dystopia.

When, by default, most white children attend private schools partially underwritten by public monies and most black children attend public schools abandoned to decay and dysfunction, it is difficult to discern how the "desegregated" present differs substantially from the darkest days of de jure segregation.

LONG AGO, before de jure school segregation had breathed its last in Baton Rouge, my parents used to threaten me with being sent to "the nigger school" when I misbehaved at the officially all-white Red Oaks Elementary. That was supposed to imply a fate worse than death to a young mind indoctrinated, from birth, into a white, racist milieu.

Now, in my hometown, they're working on making every public school "the nigger school" -- with all the awfulness that once meant to little white ears -- and all you have to do to get your kid sent there is not have enough money (or luck, or whatever) to get into this generation's "white school."

And if you don't have the dough (or luck, or whatever) to get into the "white school" in the first place, I don't see how Bobby Jindal -- or his proposed tax credits -- can offer you any hope. Any hope at all.

Let me know how that works out for you, Louisiana.

Rethinking Margaret Sanger

You watch news stories like this one, and you start thinking that Margaret Sanger happened for a reason.

THE STORY ABOVE, as reported by Heath Allen of Channel 6 in New Orleans, is the horrific tale of an infant -- born to a family of rustics in the piney woods of Louisiana -- who was beaten, drugged and burned, yet none of her Deliverance-cast kinfolk professes to know what the hell happened to her.

Except grampaw. He knows what happened.

"Some crazed maniac done this to my grandbaby," he tells Allen.

Do you think?

Anyway, I watched this story, and it occurred to me this just drives home a point we all need to remember -- great evil often is a response to great horror. Margaret Sanger saw how the poor, the swarthy and the "colored" lived back in the day, and she thought, probably, a couple of things.

One, they'd be better off dead.

Two, we'd be better off if they were dead. Or at least if they didn't breed.

Trouble is, genocide is a murderously bad solution for intractable economic and social maladies. The dignity of you deny and the life you take of "The Other" today surely will be your own tomorrow, for you're some other's Other.

So, what solutions do we have to sociological deviance like what we see in the video above? Short of Planned Parenthood-style eugenics and abortion, that is?

I suspect it involves an army of teachers, preachers and social workers -- a solution we like to give lip service but rarely try to implement in any serious manner.

Lord have mercy on that little child. And may whoever harmed that baby rot in jail forever and ever, amen.

Every bank collapse has a silver lining

Yes, Citibank may go down the tubes, sucking God knows what else down with it, with this Associated Press story reporting that a Persian Gulf bailout may not be enough to offset a subprime-sized hole in the bow.

Citigroup shares sank about 6 percent to their lowest level in more than nine years, as stockholders recoiled at forecasts of more losses at the troubled bank and comments from a Middle East fund executive that Citi must raise more cash to stay in business.

Samir al-Ansari, chief executive of the $13 billion government-owned investment firm Dubai International Capital, said Tuesday at a private equity conference that it will take more than the combined efforts of the Gulf’s wealthiest investors — the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, the Kuwait Investment Authority and Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal — to save Citigroup.

Back in January, Citi raised $12.5 billion from a group of investors including the Kuwait Investment Authority, the Government of Singapore Investment Corp. and Prince Alwaleed. And last year, Citi nabbed $7.6 billion from the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, a sovereign wealth fund owned by the ruling elite of the United Arab Emirates, the world’s fourth-largest oil exporter, in return for a 4.9 percent stake.

(snip)

Citigroup shares — which have shed about 50 percent since the credit markets froze up last summer — dropped another 5.6 percent to $21.80 in early afternoon trading Tuesday on the New York Stock Exchange.

In January, Citigroup reported losses of almost $10 billion in the fourth quarter, spurred by $18 billion in write-downs. In addition to capital injections from sovereign wealth funds, the bank has been raising cash through small asset sales of nonessential assets and nearly halving its dividend in January.

“Not only do they need to raise more money, but they should’ve suspended their dividend six months ago,” said Christopher Whalen, managing director of consulting firm Institutional Risk Analytics. “They’re trying to do this in bite-size pieces. But everyone’s still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Citi Chief Financial Officer Gary Crittenden said in January the $12.5 billion stake, along with a $2 billion stock sale the bank completed soon afterward, was enough to address “potential capital shortfall under multiple scenarios.”

“They’re saying it’s enough — it’s not enough,” Whalen said, noting that further losses from consumer debt will draw down Citi’s cash levels.

THAT would be bad.

On the other hand, if Citi goes bust, we'll all get a lot less junk mail hawking credit cards we don't want and can't afford to have.

Many trees, alas, could be saved -- living another day to suck greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere. You have to like that, at least.

Washing their feet and looking at the moon

With people like Chas Roemer -- son of Louisiana's last (failed) reform governor -- running education in the Gret Stet, it's hard to hold out hope that anything will ever get better there.

Roemer, newly elected to the state Board of Elementary and Secondary Education from Baton Rouge, is another Capital City swell who thinks teachers and children need to pay the price for the sins of the school board. He writes in the Baton Rouge Business Report:

Taxpayers are now faced with the proposition of either sending more money to the same system or being labeled as “against the kids.” Nothing could be further from the truth. I, for one, will vote against the tax—not because I’m against spending the money, but because I am against wasting the money. I would support any number of different approaches and, in fact, could support sending even a greater amount of money to a system that I believed put the kids first and not “the system.” I have witnessed firsthand the system making decisions that protect them while sacrificing potential opportunities for our kids. For example, the system turned away KIPP Academy—a nationally recognized charter school provider that specializes in serving urban kids. They turned down the Children’s Charter School in their attempt to expand—despite that their student body is 98% at risk and scores above the state average on school performance scores. Children’s Charter operates an 11-month school year with extended day for the same amount per pupil as the system. Furthermore, for years the Children’s Charter operated exclusively out of temporary buildings. Why can’t the system do some of these same things?

HERE'S A NEWS FLASH, podna. When you willfully advocate a politcal course of action that will force teachers to take a pay cut of between 2 percent and 22 percent, you're not only against the teachers . . . you're "against the kids."

And when you willingly advocate a politcal course of action that will doom the parish's students to remain in crumbling, outdated and squalorous "facilities," you're "against the kids." In fact, you're guilty of child abuse.

But that's OK. Baton Rouge's public schools now are 83 percent minority.

So it's not like the children of actual white people are on the line here. At least not enough of them to represent an unacceptable level of collateral damage when you blow up the public schools so that a magical voucher scheme might descend from the heavens and set everything aright.

BUT WAITING FOR GODOT is what my fellow Louisianians do. They're good at it. And the state's periodic political messiahs are happy to offer up the latest hare-brained scheme to throw Bubba a sop and stick it to the Negroes in the name of "reform."

Gov. Bobby Jindal (PBUH) is the latest to try that approach, just today calling on legislators to approve a tax credit for private-school tuition. In other words, welfare for people who have the money to pay thousands per year in tuition for their kids to go to private schools . . . so they don't have to give a damn about public schools.

Welfare is only a dirty word when it applies to minorities -- whose children are left to rot in defunded ratholes.

Gotcha.

IN OTHER WORDS, things ain't changed much in the Gret Stet since Gov. Earl Long stood at the dais in the Senate chambers and laid into one of its members, arch-segregationist Willie Rainach. In his book, The Earl of Louisiana, the journalist A.J. Liebling recounts the scene:

"After all this is over, he'll probably go up there to Summerfield, get up on his front porch, take off his shoes, wash his feet, look at the moon and get close to God." This was gross comedy, a piece of miming that recalled Jimmy Savo impersonating the Mississippi River. Then the old man, changing pace, shouted in Rainach's direction, "And when you do, you got to recognize that niggers is human beings!"

It was at this point that the legislators must have decided he'd gone off his crumpet. Old Earl, a Southern politician, was taking the Fourteenth Amendment's position that "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States . . . nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

AFTER THAT, they put Uncle Earl in the nuthouse. Being in favor of the Fourteenth Amendment . . . that'd always get you in trouble in the Gret Stet of Loosiana.

Still will, I suspect.