Saturday, December 11, 2010

This week's 3C&T playlist



Here's the playlist for this week's episode of
3 Chords & the Truth --
All those years ago.

Enjoy.









Song Name


Artist



















Year



































1




Lavender Road




The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger
(Sean Lennon/Charlotte Kemp Muhl)





















2010

2




Give Me Some Truth



John Lennon




















1971

3




Dust in the Wind



Kansas




















1977

4




Livin' On A Prayer



Bon Jovi




















2001

5




(Just Like) Starting Over



John Lennon




















1980

6




Beyond the Great Divide



Emmylou Harris




















2008

7




The Afternoon: Forever Afternoon



The Moody Blues




















1967

8




Baby the Rain Must Fall



Glenn Yarbrough




















1965

9




Watching the Wheels



John Lennon




















1980

10




Here Comes The Sun



Beatles




















1969

11




Look at Me



John Lennon




















1970

12




I'm Looking Through You



Beatles




















1965

13




Looking for My Life



George Harrison




















2002

14




I Looked Away



Derek and the Dominoes




















1970

15




Look What You've Done



Bread




















1970

16




Hard Times Are Over



Yoko Ono




















1980

17




Helter Skelter



Beatles




















1968

18




I Just Shot John Lennon



The Cranberries




















1996

19




Too Late for Goodbyes



Julian Lennon




















1984

20




A Woman Left Lonely



Janis Joplin & Full Tilt Boogie




















1971

21




Whatever Gets You Thru the Night



John Lennon




















1974

22




Mind Games



John Lennon




















1973

23




Headlights



Sean Lennon




















2006

24




Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)



John Lennon




















1980

3 Chords & the Truth: All those years ago


They're funny, aren't they, those "zero" anniversaries?

You know, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. . . .

Thirty years. Those "zero" anniversaries have a way of taking something that happened a long, long time ago and making it seem like it was just yesterday. Just as vivid as yesterday. Just as raw as yesterday.


JUST AS painful as it was yesterday, only in this case, "yesterday" was three decades ago.

That's what 3 Chords & the Truth is all about this week, what happened 30 years ago, and how it hurt us . . . how it changed us. This episode of the Big Show is a look back -- a meditation, actually.

It was 30 years ago Wednesday that a madman murdered John Lennon. I had some thoughts on that here. I have some musical thoughts on that awful day, and what it has meant to my generation, here.

FOR WHAT it's worth, I rather like the way George Harrison put it . . . "All Those Years Ago."
Hear them shouting all about love
While they treated you like a dog
When you were the one who had made it so clear
All those years ago.

Hear them talking all about how to give

They don't act with much honesty
But you point the way to the truth when you say
All you need is love.

Living with good and bad

I always looked up to you
Now we're left cold and sad
By someone the devil's best friend
Someone who offended all.

We're living in a bad dream

They've forgotten all about mankind
And you were the one they backed up to the wall
All those years ago
You were the one who Imagined it all
All those years ago.

Deep in the darkest night

I send out a prayer to you
Now in the world of light
Where the spirit free of the lies
And all else that we despised.

They've forgotten all about God

He's the only reason we exist
Yet you were the one that they said was so weird
All those years ago
You said it all though not many had ears
All those years ago

You had control of our smiles and our tears
All those years ago
IT'S 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Your Daily '80s: The $!*# Dogs


From my college days, way back in 1980, I am proud (and a bit ashamed of myself) to present The Band Whose Name Must Not Be Uttered.

Then known in LSU's college newspaper as the S*** Dogs -- and in Baton Rouge's daily rags (back when there were still two local daily rags) as The 'Dogs -- TBWNMNBU was hot (ahem) around campus and in the Red Stick's first-generation punk scene.

So, kid, I don't want to hear what a badass you are. I don't want to hear how badass your emo-poseur, thrash, death-metal, hardcore music is.
They all bore me, and so do you.

IF YOU WANT to be radical, go put on some classic-jazz vinyl. Get into the 1950s and '60s folk scene.

Buy some Hank Williams 78s and find something to play them on.

That would be out there.

But we've already invented the S*** Dogs. We've been there. Done that.
Got the T-shirt we can't wear to church.

So stop copying us. That's just sad.

All we are saying is give pizza chance


LSU's 459 Commons. Wednesday, 1:30 p.m.

A billion years ago, when I was a poor student, this kind of behavior was reserved for the student section at Tiger football games.
No, really. When I was a freshman in '79, a fight broke out and someone went flying past my head. Down the steps.

Airborne.

I blame the spread of this kind of bad behavior to campus dining facilities -- and note that the video contains many F-bombs . . . screamed, no less -- on Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and his budgetary broadax.

Why?

WHY THE F*** NOT?!?

And they all shine on. . . .


It's a drag, man.

Coups. D'etat, da city, da whatever. Recalls, free for alls, agitation, confrontation, conflagration -- they're all a drag, man.

The Mayor Suttle Recall Committee is a drag. Recall-committee member John Chatelain is a drag. Recall "money man" Dave Nabity is not only a drag, he's harshing all of Omaha's mellow.

And from the first time that they really done us -- ooh, they done us -- they done us good. I heard that on a record somewhere, and somebody ought to have a bed-in to protest this crap. At least that way, we wouldn't have to go far when the recall-istas wanted to do us good . . . again.

Personally -- being that I'm still a work in progress when it comes to peace and love and enlightenment -- I'd prefer to have a protest action built around "Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey," then have 28,720 chimpanzees all flinging their feces at John Chatelain, Dave Nabity (right) and their trusty flack Jeremy Aspen in a bit of symbolic political theater.

But like I said, that's just me. And my monkeys.


IF IT SEEMS that I might be a bit around the bend, here, just keep in mind that reading the Omaha World-Herald is getting to be a drag, too. Like, I mean, look:
A civil war has erupted within the group pushing for Mayor Jim Suttle’s recall.

A member of the Mayor Suttle Recall Committee — Omaha attorney John Chatelain — accused possible mayoral candidate David Nabity on Wednesday
of trying to “take control” of the committee to “enhance his mayoral ambitions.”

He said Nabity tried to exert control over the committee by raising the bulk of the money for the group from his friends and possible supporters.

Nabity acknowledged he plans to start a second pro-recall committee but vehemently denied Chatelain’s charges. He said the new committee will include businessmen who want to be involved in government and campaign affairs in Omaha long after the recall has ended.

“I’m afraid Mr. Chatelain has a warped sense of the facts, and his comments are so far off-base that it’s not worth responding to,” said Nabity, who added that Chatelain was angry because of run-ins they had during the campaign.

A Republican, Nabity is not a newcomer to politics or controversy. He ran unsuccessfully for the Republican nomination for governor in 2006.

Last year, he helped to form a group of businessmen and women called the Omaha Alliance for the Private Sector. The group has been highly critical of Suttle and the city’s contracts with firefighters and police unions.

IT'S PRETTY BAD when there's just too much hate for one target to accommodate, you know?

Watch out! Knife
fight!

It became clear Wednesday that Nabity has provided crucial support to the group.

Nabity has said he was not a part of the group, but he acknowledged Wednesday he has been a key fundraiser for the group, persuading his friends and supporters to donate to the campaign. He also acknowledged he was instrumental in bringing a national recall expert to Omaha — Paul Jacobs — to help manage and organize the paid circulators.

Nabity said the group came to him for help.

But Chatelain said Nabity came to the group, saying he had friends who wanted to donate and who wanted the committee to hire paid circulators.

Nabity raised about $200,000 of the $287,000 the committee eventually collected, Chatelain said.

It was after Nabity raised the money and hired Jacobs that he began to try to “take control” of the group, said Chatelain.

At one point, Nabity asked Chatelain to step down. Nabity then said if he wasn’t allowed to put his people in charge of the recall effort, he would take “his donors” and start a new committee, Chatelain said.

“At this point, we began to suspect that Mr. Nabity was putting his own mayoral campaign team in place and wanted to control the recall campaign through it,” Chatelain said in a written statement.

WHAT CAN I say about this kind of insanity? Nothing. At least nothing beyond telling folks to step back, stay safe and enjoy the show.

Fortunately, I don't have to -- and it's just total Instant Karma that this is happening this week -- because the great, late John Lennon already did:
Instant Karma's gonna get you,
Gonna look you right in the face,
Better get yourself together darlin',
Join the human race,
How in the world you gonna see,
Laughin' at fools like me,
Who on earth d'you think you are,
A super star,
Well, right you are.

Well we all shine on,

Like the moon and the stars and the sun,
Well we all shine on,
Ev'ryone come on.
AND JOHN is just getting warmed up. He also has some questions for the Mayor Suttle Recall Committee:
You say you got a real solution
Well you know
we'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well you know
We're all doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be alright?
BUT NO. The recall-istas are not interested in making sense and addressing public concerns.
Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m.

Ev'rybody's talking about Ministers,

Sinisters, Banisters and canisters
Bishops and Fishops and Rabbis and Popeyes,
And bye bye, bye byes.

Let me tell you now
Ev'rybody's talking about
Revolution, evolution, masturbation,
flagellation, regulation, integrations,
meditations, United Nations,
Congratulations.
ME, I'M sick of arguing. I'm sick of being sick of the perpetually outraged.

And all I am saying is give Jim a chance.

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Your Daily '80s: All the lonely people


The morning after, on Good Morning America.

It's 7 a.m., Dec. 9, 1980. Here's David Hartman.

On the Feast of the Immaculate Conception


"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee . . . pray for us now, and at the hour of our death. Amen."

Meanwhile, in the U.K. . . .


Hours after John Lennon's murder in New York, a shocked Great Britain sat down to watch this memorial on BBC 1's Nationwide program.

Roll the videotape. . . .




A terrible day in the life


I always heard these things in my bedroom in Baton Rouge -- news of shocking deaths in the dark of the night.

In 1978, I was in high school, up late and listening to the radio when I heard the pope was dead. A month and a half later, I was up late working on homework and listening to the radio --
WFMF -- when I heard a report that the pope was dead. I thought somebody had screwed up and put on an old newscast.

In 1980, I was a sophomore in college. The night of Dec. 8, I was up cramming for finals, listening to the radio. The DJ came on with the shocking bulletin -- John Lennon was dead, shot outside his apartment building in New York.
He read the news today . . . oh boy.

Oh, God, no.

Please, God, no.

The death
of the pope was big (as was the death of the other pope), but I wasn't Catholic then. The murder of John Lennon was shattering.

The pope was an old man in Rome. He was the vicar of Christ, but he was a distant one back then -- a guy you read about in the papers, or perhaps saw on the TV news once in a while.

John Lennon . . .
the Beatles . . . they had been a daily presence in my life -- a pervasive part of the culture in which I had marinated since the age of 3. John, Paul, George and Ringo were the soundtrack of my earthly existence.


IN 1964,
my Aunt Sybil and Uncle Jimmy gave me a copy of Meet the Beatles. I had me some Beatles singles, too.

In 1966, John told an interviewer the Beatles were more popular than Jesus Christ, which arguably was true. Truth, however, is no defense against public indignation when veracity meets unpopularity -- people like funhouse-mirror images of themselves a lot better when everybody knows the mirror is all screwy and not him.

Then, John Lennon suddenly was a communist or something, and Mama busted up all my Beatles records. That's how we showed our esteem for the second person of the Holy Trinity back then, as opposed to going to church.



WHEN I was old enough to think for myself -- and to buy my own damned record albums -- the Beatles were back. Big time.

John was always the challenging Beatle. The one most likely to piss you off -- and to make you think. I rather like how he'd sometimes mess with your head, and it was funniest when people didn't get how funny it all was.

Like "Imagine." It's funny to see religious Republicans enthusiastically singing along with "Imagine," a song Lennon once described as "virtually the Communist Manifesto." (Well, OK. Not every Republican.)

We didn't always agree with this presence in our lives -- hell, we didn't always understand this musical fixture of ours -- but we always had to give him credit for honesty, just like we always had to give him credit for amazing songs. We couldn't not give him his due for the music of of our lives.

And now, Dec. 8, 1980, at about 10 o'clock at night. . . .

Suddenly, it was like the soundtrack of my life had been left sitting in the rear window of my '76 Vega. It had warped. It didn't sound right.

A constant presence wasn't, not anymore.

I heard the news 30 years ago today. Oh boy, nothing has been the same since. And it hurts.

Still, it hurts.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Mr. Sanders gives it to Washington


Can't add anything to this, except perhaps for "Amen!"

Oh, all right.
I can add this one thing: It's a damned sad day in this sad land when it takes a self-proclaimed democratic socialist to do something seemingly as simple as go onto the floor of the U.S. Senate and tell the God's honest truth.

Contra
America's tea-party "patriots," maybe what this country needs is more socialism, not less. Especially if the alternative is plutocracy -- a veritable banana republic . . . with nukes.

3 Chords & the Truth: Post-Thanksgiving whatever


The Thanksgiving turkey has been eaten. So have the leftovers.

All traces of the fowl doings have been erased.

The Christmas cookies are only just now starting to appear, and we're somehow supposed to resume some semblance of normality until the next wild tryptophan-fueled blowout in a few weeks.

Well, OK. You got any damn ideas on how to get back to "normal"? Me neither.

Oh, yeah. This post is about 3 Chords . . . burrrrrrrp . . . & the Truth. Whatever.


I HAVE a vague recollection of music being involved in this week's edition of the Big Show, but don't hold me to that. I also understand it's pretty good, considering.

But don't hold me to that, either.

Listen, I'm going to go get another cup of hot tea. Why don't you do the same, then meet me back here, and we'll give it a listen and see what the hell the deal is. Who knows, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Maybe you will, too.

But don't hold me to that. I'm not quite back to "normal" yet. Whatever the hell that is.

Yadda yadda yadda. Etcetera and so on. And now for the hoary old closing line. . . .

It's 3 Chords & the Truth, y'all. Be there. Aloha.

Your Daily '80s: Mel Tormé in 1982


Because we're a classy establishment, that's why.

Enjoy.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Christianity gets Jobs-ed

Forget Julian Assange.

The most dangerous man in the world just might be Steve Jobs.


Why? Because knowledge is power, communications is the conduit, and Jobs is trying to position Apple -- via the iPhone, iPad and ITunes marketplace -- to be the premier gatekeeper in what he envisions as a "walled garden" of information technology, one micromanaged by himself (Himself?) and his techno-nerd corporate minions.


AND APPARENTLY, Apple just has declared mainstream, orthodox Christianity offensive and banished it from the iTunes app store. From the Catholic News Agency:
After Apple Inc. removed the Manhattan Declaration application from iTunes over complaints that it had offensive material, signers are urging the corporation to make it available again.

The Manhattan Declaration application for iPhones and iPads was dropped last month when the activist group Change.org gathered 7,000 signatures for a petition claiming that the application promoted “bigotry” and “homophobia.”

The Declaration – a Christian statement drafted in 2009 that supports religious liberty, traditional marriage and right to life issues – has nearly 500,000 supporters.

The iPhone application, which was previously available for purchase on iTunes, was removed around Thanksgiving.

CNA contacted Apple Dec. 2 for the reason behind the pull. Spokesperson Trudy Muller said via phone that the company “removed the Manhattan Declaration app from the App Store because it violates our developer guidelines by being offensive to large groups of people.”

When asked if Apple plans to release additional statements on the matter, Muller said she had no further comment.

CHRISTIANITY has its truth. Apple, and all the mau-mauers yelling "Hate!" in a crowded app store have theirs. And in a world where truth is relative, and often mutually exclusive, the only currency we have left is power and the ability to subjugate the competition.

It seems I was talking about that
just yesterday.

In this kind of an environment, that makes Jobs a really cool Big Brother. It pains me to say this, but "Give me Windows, or give me death!"

The longest week


They say Nebraska's football coach, Bo Pelini, has issues.


Perhaps so. Then again, maybe not. But if you're asking me where you go to find the real mental cases in the Big 12 Conference, I'd say you need look no further than league headquarters in Irving, Tejas.

Like the saying goes,
everything's bigger in Tejas. That would include the whack jobs.

Who have been given the keys to an entire conference. Holy crap.


I ASSURE YOU, the Omaha World-Herald ain't making this up. If it were, I wouldn't be worrying whether they're going to be directing security efforts toward the wrong people at Saturday's Nebraska-Oklahoma championship tilt at Cowboys Stadium:
Dallas police now say they are not investigating alleged threats against Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe, although they are continuing to provide extra patrols by his family home.

A Dallas Police Department spokesman had said earlier this week that the agency was investigating a report of multiple harassing calls and mail to Beebe’s home. But the spokesman, Sr. Cpl. Kevin Janse, said Thursday that that was a mistake based on a misunderstanding by officers who had been flagged down by Beebe’s wife.

She told the officers that the family had received threats and was concerned, Janse said. Police initially thought the messages had gone to Beebe’s Dallas home, he said. They later determined that they had not gone to the family’s home, but instead were received at Big 12 offices in nearby Irving, Texas, outside Dallas. Irving has its own police department.

Asked for a copy of the report from Beebe’s wife, Janse said there was no written crime report.

Big 12 officials could not be reached for comment Thursday.

Earlier this week, Big 12 spokesman Bob Burda said the matter had been reported to “the authorities,” but declined to name the agency. He said he couldn’t provide copies of the alleged threats because they were under investigation.

CAN NEBRASKA just leave the Big 12 right now? I'm thinking that the farther away NU is from these batsh*t-crazy drama queens, the better.

Seriously, somebody needs to pat down the Big 12 brass before the game. If the Huskers start doing too well, you don't want any conference officials stopping a pick-6 with a 30.06.

Or pulling a Jack Ruby at the trophy presentation. Because, apparently, that's just how Tejans roll.

Just remember, Huskers. It's The Longest Yard out there, and Eddie Albert is being played by Dan Beebe.

Watch your back when you go to retrieve the game ball.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Your Daily '80s: Beta or VHS?


How quaint, these electronic marvels of 1984 and our obsession with --
What do you call them . . . VCR machines?

In case you were wondering how it all turned out, Steve Lincoln's entire life was destroyed by a rogue electrical surge, home taping won, Jack Valenti is dead and Baba Wawa is wewwy wewwy old now and gabbing on The View.



MEANTIME, most of the mom-and-pop video stores no longer exist, and neither does Betamax. And if you want to buy some of these super-cool VCRs and videotapes . . . check out some weekend estate sales.

Well, that's just not his truth


I don't know why Anderson Cooper argues with these "birther" nuts.

Argument is dead. Futile. Useless. So very last century.

This is the postmodern era, and truth is what we say it is. Cooper and CNN have their "facts." The birthers have their truth, and who are we to impose our "truth" on them? That would be rather patriarchal, not to mention a pernicious attempt at intellectual hegemony.

The birthers think President Obama is a radical socialist Muslin Nazi who was bornded in Kenyah. That is their truth, and you can't impinge upon that with your so-called "facts."


THUS, the CNN anchor hit Texas state Rep. Leo Berman with fact after fact that back in the old days should have sunk his rhetorical ship, only to find that today, facts are just so much sound and fury, signifying nothing. And in the insane asylum called Tejas, it wouldn't surprise me if this bill of Berman's passes.

You see, today we don't have facts, we have "facts."

Perhaps
the question here for CNN is
whose facts do they choose to believe -- the liberal establishment's pinko facts or the facts God-fearing, real-American patriots found on the Internet? The commie liberals have their facts, and the Americans have their facts.

What we have here is a matter of truth vs. truth, and who is anybody to violate another's mind space with their hostile truths?

This is postmodern America, dammit, and we have a way of settling these kinds of disputes. We're going to exercise some raw power here, and whoever doesn't get exterminated gets to believe whatever the hell they want.

It's called "tolerance," and it's the American Way.

And that's the one thing every American can agree on nowadays.

Better recalls through magical thinking


So, Mr. Recall-Petition Circulator, what's the deal here? Why are you trying to get rid of Mayor Jim Suttle?

Long story short, it's all about taxes. Omaha can't afford a spendthrift, tax-crazy mayor like that!

Here's the deal.
You see, Jim Suttle . . . mumble mumble . . . uh . . . broken promises . . . uh . . . union deal that cost taxpayers a million dollars. OK, I'm gonna skip some of this stuff . . . mumble mumble . . . you can read it for yourself, but they sayin' it's gonna cost $900,000 to recall him out of office, but that's a bunch of bullcrap . . . mumble mumble . . . he ain't worth supportin'.

It's all perfectly clear, and it's all brought to you by "consultants and people running the campaign who are kind of, you know, conservative . . . fiscal conservative types from D.C. and stuff."

So just rest assured that the recall people ain't full of bullcrap or nothin' like Jim Suttle. I mean, would they lie to you?



PAY NO ATTENTION to those media people behind the curtains telling you about a 2-percent restaurant tax.

No! No! It's a 15-percent tax! Yeah . . . that's the ticket!

Seriously, man. Would a petition-consulting company that's "all over" lie to you, Mr. Voter? No!

And not only would such a big company. . . one that's "like a conservative, libertarian, sort of tea-party effort" . . . not only would it not lie to you about a 15-percent tax, it'll help defray the cost of a recall vote just to show you that the guys in charge are as swell a bunch of guys as ever tried to run a mayor out of office.


TRUST US, the taxpayers won't have to pay a dime for a slew of special elections.

How? Ancient Chinese secret . . . money men!

"Well, if we run with a spring election it won't cost anything extra. But we do have backers that, if they say it's gotta be a special election, we have backers that are willing to pay it."

Who are these backers of whom you speak?

"Well, I'm not sure who all these money men are, but they're, they're the ones who are behind this."

Oh.


AS IT turns out, the "money men" are . . . the federal government! Just the kind of fiscal-conservative, libertarian, tea-party solution that we need!

I don't know why we never thought that the conservative, libertarian, tea-party recall organizers would have all the federal-funding-of-local-elections bases covered.

See, a recall vote would be mostly paid for with federal money "because it's an election."

It all makes so much sense if you don't think about it.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Your Daily '80s: Fight the last war, lose the next


Fall 1983.

Apple and its co-founder, Steve Jobs, have massed it forces for a frontal assault on the Evil Empire, otherwise known as IBM. The Macintosh attacked the Empire early in 1984, then fell back under a withering assault from . . . Microsoft and its new Windows operating system.

Jobs left Apple in 1985, victim of a botched coup d'etat against the CEO he hired, John Sculley. Apple was nearly broke by 1997 . . . at which point Jobs came back to lead a renaissance of the company, which began to dominate in products not Macintosh.

Now behemoth Apple girds for battle with behemoth Google as behemoth Microsoft continues being Microsoft but can't compete with Jobs in anything except the operating-system market. Right now, Apple looks unbeatable.

And it will until it is.


There's a moral in that -- not that anybody ever pays attention to it.

Borrowing your demagoguery


The trouble with Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal is that he's just so very unoriginal.

He stole his name from Bobby Brady and
The Brady Bunch. He stole his response to President Obama's 2009 congressional address from Mister Rogers.

And now he's stolen the bright idea of demagoguing university sabbaticals from the Iowa Republican Party. He picked up that idea, no doubt, during all the time he's spent in the Hawkeye State -- as opposed to his own.

In November, as reported by The Daily Reveille, this was the Jindal Administration's party line against such "bad values in education" as the state's flagship university, LSU:

State Commissioner of Administration Paul Rainwater says Gov. Bobby Jindal's office is looking into University faculty workloads to see if students are getting the best return for their tuition.

"It's important to make sure resources are focused on the classroom and the students and taxpayers get the most value from investments," Rainwater said.

Rainwater said instructors in the LSU System are teaching 77 percent more credit hours than tenured professors. Instructors at the Baton Rouge campus teach 133 percent more, he said.

One area where faculty members do less teaching than instructors is in sabbaticals — a leave of absence to focus on research, writing or acquiring new knowledge. Rainwater said tenured faculty earn the right to have a sabbatical but not during a budget crunch.

"At a time when we're facing a very large deficit, I think it's important that we justify what sabbaticals are taken," Rainwater said.

NOT ONLY is Jindal unoriginal, he's milquetoasty. He's an Iowa Republican watered down to the point of BLECCH!

Watered down and nine months late.

In February, the Republicans in the Iowa House sought to eliminate every single sabbatical at its regents universities -- Iowa, Iowa State and Northern Iowa -- for the next year at a savings of . . .
$6 million.

The Iowa Board of Regents had considered canceling sabbaticals in December 2009, but ultimately decided such a move would harm recruitment and retention of faculty, as well as create disruptions in research and a logjam of future sabbatical requests. There were 111 requests for sabbaticals across the three universities for the 2010-11 academic year -- down 25 percent from the previous year.

The University of Iowa led the pack with 52 sabbaticals for professors. Iowa State requested 37 and Northern Iowa 18.

A year later, the ascendant Iowa Republicans are at it again. The state's GOP lawmakers propose -- again -- banning all university sabbaticals. And the new House speaker, Kraig Paulsen, is leading the charge against the eggheads, saying taxpayers just can't afford to give profs a paid "year off."

From an Associated Press article Wednesday:

But professors said the savings Republicans are promising won't materialize, and the move would cost universities in grant money and productivity.

Sabbaticals -- a paid semester or year off from teaching to write books, conduct research, create classes and write grant proposals -- are standard practice at major research universities across the nation. But at a time when other employees are facing pay cuts and furloughs, they have become an easy target for critics and an area where universities can cut to show they are making sacrifices, too.

Several schools across the country have already reduced or canceled sabbaticals, according to the American Association of University Professors. The University of Iowa has cut its sabbaticals in half over two years.

John Curtis, director of research and public policy for AAUP, said he was unaware of any case where lawmakers rather than schools themselves have cut sabbaticals, and he doubted that it would become a trend because of the tiny amount of potential savings.

"I'm sure they feel it has great symbolic value," he said. "But the loss, of course, is what the whole purpose of sabbatical is: to allow faculty members to do research, to engage in understanding new developments in their discipline and then to bring all of that back to their teaching."

A potential fight is already brewing in Iowa, where its three public universities have asked the Board of Regents to approve sabbaticals for professors in the budget year that begins July 1. Details are expected to be made public Thursday.

The regents could approve the requests next week, but Paulsen said they should allow for public debate on the plan to cancel them first.

"It seems to be tough budgetary times. Why should the taxpayers of Iowa be paying to basically give these folks a year off from teaching?" asked Paulsen, a Hiawatha Republican who will lead a chamber that flipped to Republican control in November. "It's as simple as that."

Board of Regents President David Miles said through a spokeswoman that he will withhold comment until next week's meeting. Last year, he urged presidents of the three public universities to ensure any sabbaticals "serve to enhance the core missions of the universities."

The University of Iowa has asked the regents to approve 58 sabbaticals for next year, a slight increase after two years of sharp cuts, said Faculty Senate President Edwin Dove, who defended the practice. UI professors wrote 26 books in 2009 while on sabbatical, published 147 research articles, created and updated nearly 100 classes, and submitted 50 grant applications, Dove said.

SO IN IOWA, we have a debate over highly debatable savings in the mid-seven-figure range. But hang on a second:
House Republicans have said their plan would save $6 million and be part of a budget-cutting package introduced next year. But their projected savings apparently includes salaries that professors will earn whether they are on sabbatical or not. The actual savings would be the roughly $250,000 universities spend to hire replacement teachers, university officials said.
THE STATE'S GOP legislative contingent would appear to be disingenuous here, at a minimum. Some might say they're just playing the booboisie for a bunch of suckers, trying to appear as if they're doing something while proposing next to nothing.

At a minimum.

So, back in Louisiana, what to make of Jindal's quixotic demonizing of LSU professors?

Well, let me put it this way: Remember the number of sabbaticals Iowans have been fighting over? Keep that figure -- 111 . . . 50-something of that total at UI -- in mind.

This year, LSU has 19 professors on sabbatical. Nineteen.

One-nine.

One less than 20.

That's what the Jindal Administration has seen fit to harp over whenever someone frets about a worst-case $60-something million cut to Louisiana's flagship university next year. We're probably not even talking about a million bucks in highly debatable savings, here.

One thing, however, has become crystal clear. What Louisiana's absentee governor lacks in the originality or comprehensiveness of his demagoguery, he certainly makes up in audacity.

Truth in bannerizing


Louisiana unveiled a new state flag last week, which looks a lot like the old state flag.

Unfortunately, I think the new state banner lacks certain qualities that make for a good flag. For one thing, any clue about what the place is, who the people have become and what they aspire to.

Reading the New Orleans Times-Picayune story about the whole deal, you'd have no clue, though. The reporter makes it sound like everything in Bannerland is hunky dory:

The flag's design is similar to the existing flag but the brown pelican, the state bird, is more sophisticated and has three red drops of blood flowing from its breast, said Jacques Berry, chief spokesman for Secretary of State Tom Schedler's office.

The new design was required by a bill passed by Rep. Damon Baldone, D-Houma, during the 2006 legislative session based on the historical research of Joseph Louviere, a Houma student, which indicated the existing pelican seal did not have the bird tearing at its breast.

Historical descriptions of the blue flag include the three drops of blood, described as a sign of the state's willingness to sacrifice itself for its citizens. The design goes back to medieval times, when people believed pelicans fed chicks with their blood.

Unveiling the new flag took place at the conclusion of the dual inaugurations of Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne, who had been secretary of state; and Schedler, who served as Dardenne's first assistant and was sworn in as secretary of state.

I WOULD HAVE rung up an expert or two at Louisiana State University for comment on political symbolism and whatnot, but they were all laid off last semester. Gov. Bobby Jindal likewise was unavailable for comment as he wraps up the Jupiter leg of his book tour.

Anyway, there's not much more to say about the whole deal. I'll just leave you with a more historically, politically and sociologically correct banner (top), which I make available to the Gret Stet free of charge.

Of course, the way things are going in my home state, even free might be too rich for its blood. All three legally specified drops of it.