You're drunk off your ass (allegedly).
You have no driver's license.
Because it was suspended for 10 years after your third DUI.
Your wife also is three sheets to the wind (allegedly). She's in the back of your SUV.
She's cheering on your 7-year-old granddaughter.
Whom you're towing down the street in her plastic kiddie car.
Which is attached to the SUV with a couple of dog leashes.
What the hell could go wrong?
WELL, you could get stopped by the cops, who throw your and your boozy wife's saturated asses in jail. But that's what went right.
Naturally, this occurred in south Florida. And, naturally, it made the MSNBC news headlines:
Belinda and Paul Berloni were arrested on Sunday after a deputy in a marked patrol car saw the SUV pulling a "small plastic hot wheels car" along an access road, authorities said. The vehicle was going about five to 10 miles per hour, the probable cause affidavit said.FRANKLY, I'm wondering about Junior's decision making, which he apparently cannot blame on the bottle.
The girl was wearing a bathing suit with no protective gear, authorities said. The toy car was attached to the SUV with two dog leashes tied to the trailer hitch, the affidavit said.
Paul Berloni, 49, smelled of alcohol and his eyes were bloodshot and watery, the affidavit said. When asked for his driver's license, he said it had been revoked for 10 years for a DUI. He also told authorities he had two or three drinks, authorities said. He later said it was more but wasn't specific, the affidavit said.
Belinda Berloni, 47, was in the cargo area with the rear hatch open cheering the little girl on, the affidavit said. She was also intoxicated and said she had a few drinks, authorities said.
She "also stated that she understood that it was dangerous to drag a child behind the vehicle but stated they were just having fun and had been doing it all day," the affidavit said.
Belinda Berloni's son, who is the girl's father, arrived and was upset with his mother. He also said that he believed they had a drinking problem that may have affected their decision making, the affidavit said.