Top Smear

There is a good reason the entire world hated the British Empire before it hated the American one.

This is it.

Obviously, wot we have here is a typical case of unfortunate British dentistry. It has led to a nasty oral infection, which has gone straight to the collective brain of not only the cast and crew of Top Gear, but also the entire British Broadcasting Corporation.


AND NOW it'll have to come out. The procedure is known by the coalition government as "austerity measures."

Before going under the mallet, however, producers of Top Gear issued the following non-apology apology to the Mexican government, which had condemned the program as "xenophobic":

“We are sorry if we have offended some people, but jokes centred on national stereotyping are a part of Top Gear’s humour, and indeed a robust part of our national humour. Our own comedians make jokes about the British being terrible cooks and terrible romantics, and we in turn make jokes about the Italians being disorganised and over dramatic; the French being arrogant and the Germans being over organised. When we do it, we are being rude, yes, and mischievous, but there is no vindictiveness behind the comments.

“This stereotyping humour is in itself a factor in the tolerance which the ambassador states is so prevalent in Britain.

“In line with that tradition, stereotype based comedy is allowed within BBC guidelines in programmes where the audience has clear expectations of that being the case, as indeed it is with Top Gear. Whilst it may appear offensive to those who have not watched the programme or who are unfamiliar with its humour, the Executive Producer has made it clear to the Ambassador that that was absolutely not the show’s intention.”

IN OTHER WORDS, "We British are a bunch of pricks. Do you have a problem with that? Now you may resume your siesta."

Next on BBC 1, Gordon Ramsay tells Dago jokes whilst beating his kitchen help to death with a frozen haggis.