You say it's Feb. 14, 2011. I say your clock is fast.
Way fast. Thirty-seven years fast.
According to my clock, it's May 1974. Bell bottoms are all the rage. Platform shoes, too.
And we like to settle in on the living-room couch in front of the big console television set and watch all the cool kids dance to the top hits on American Bandstand.
Or The Real Don Steele Show on KHJ-TV out in Los Angeles.
Sorry, I meant Boss Angeles.
Hey, man, can you get that open flame away from my shirt? Please?
If you don't, I'm a cut you up bad with the big, big comb I got in my back pocket for my big, big hair.
Think I'm not serious? Maybe I'll introduce Gary Glitter to your 12-year-old sister, man. I hear he gives lip-syncing a whole new meaning.
Or maybe I'll make you watch Don's "Show Biz News Stuff" skit twice. Tina Delgado may be alive, ALIVE, but that bit just died, DIED.
Rock 'n' roll, man.