I am a late Boomer. Either that means I was born in the year of our Lord 1961, or that I had red beans and rice for supper.
Take your pick.
But as a member of a now-aging generation, one facing the creeping shadows of mortality -- and occasionally the discomfort of gastric distress -- I am increasingly compelled to explain myself, my generation, to those who follow. I suppose this is part of the human need to leave a legacy, to live on in defiance of one's biological expiration date . . . ultimately, to not be forgotten.
To be understood is to, in some way, be less alienated from the rest of humanity. To offer a glimpse into one's thoughts, into one's soul, into one's influences and eccentricities is to seek common ground with generations who find us as mysterious as we find them.
And, yes, The Gong Show winners above were that Oingo Boingo. Oingo Boingo may be another thing that needs explaining, but not right now.
CHILDREN, look. This is who we were. Deep inside, somewhere, this is who we are.
This is who we were before we began to take ourselves so damned seriously. The sum of what you see here is the totality -- or at least a reasonable facsimile -- of today's molders of the world you know.
HERE WE ARE. Understand us. Come to know us a little better.
And please do not gong us after 20 seconds have elapsed.
If you want to know why the world is the way it is, look at the . . . on second thought, avert your eyes. Ignorance is bliss.
WE, THE BOOMERS are not just a generation that now worries about heart health and contemplates bladder-control products.
We once were young. We once were 10 feet tall and bulletproof. We once rocked out. We once laughed.
And we once loved weird s***. Just like you.
TAKE IN what is before you now. Understand that this represents my generation's hopes, fears and insights into the human condition.
UNDERSTAND, too, that we once smoked dope. A lot, a lot of dope.
Which may or may not explain the tea party.
Good night, good luck . . . and I think I'll let Gene Gene the Dancing Machine take us to commercial.
One for Depends, no doubt.