Found this flier in the mailbox today.
Imagine, for a mere $7 a week, EntreMANURE K-9 Waste Removal will pick up the "leavings" of Molly the Dog and Scout.
They even have a slogan: "Your dog poops, our shovel scoops!"
Seems to me a reasonable price, and one I'm sure many yard-conscious Omahans would be willing to pay. I, however, am not one of those yard-conscious Omahans.
THE FIRM also will mow, weed and fertilize your yard. But here's the deal, at least from my perspective as the neighborhood lawn reprobate: Leave the poop, and you don't have to fertilize.
Because, you see, I have a slogan, too. But I can't say it here.
Oh, what the hell. Parents, take your kids away from the computer screen.
Here's my slogan, which has worked surprisingly well for me the past 21 years. Ready? Kids safely dispatched?
"My dog s***s, and there it sits."
Go ahead, call the neighborhood association. I wouldn't blame you.
Tell them to watch their step, though, when they come to take me away.