Free booze and whores would be better

Rod Dreher reports on the New York Times' report on the latest idiotic craze among some scruples-and-cerebellum-deprived Evangelical ministers.

In a story that could have been lifted from The Onion, but in fact appeared in The New York Times, hundreds of Protestant churches are using the ultraviolent videogame Halo to lure teenage boys into church. No, really, I'm not making this up. Excerpt:

Far from being defensive, church leaders who support Halo — despite its “thou shalt kill” credo — celebrate it as a modern and sometimes singularly effective tool. It is crucial, they say, to reach the elusive audience of boys and young men.

Witness the basement on a recent Sunday at the Colorado Community Church in the Englewood area of Denver, where Tim Foster, 12, and Chris Graham, 14, sat in front of three TVs, locked in violent virtual combat as they navigated on-screen characters through lethal gun bursts. Tim explained the game’s allure: “It’s just fun blowing people up.”

Once they come for the games, Gregg Barbour, the youth minister of the church said, they will stay for his Christian message. “We want to make it hard for teenagers to go to hell,” Mr. Barbour wrote in a letter to parents at the church.

(snip)

“If you want to connect with young teenage boys and drag them into church, free alcohol and pornographic movies would do it,” said James Tonkowich, president of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, a nonprofit group that assesses denominational policies. “My own take is you can do better than that.”

FREE BOOZE and whores would be even better. They could call the ladies of the evening the Mary Magdalene Hospitality Corps.

Yeah, that's the ticket.