The hoi polloi have souls, too

In my new book, The Tide Is High and Debbie Harry Was Hot -- due out whenever I get around to writing it, which probably will be never -- I write (or would like to write . . . whatever) that I have no use for people telling me how great the Catholic Church is because it's roping in lots and lots of the Right Kind of People (TM).

In fact, I'll probably write (or not) that people like David J. Hartline who write books like The Tide Is Turning Toward Catholicism, are acting like the Church is some kind of holy whorehouse, and they're pimping out the prettiest new converts to get more people on our team.

Yay Team!

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, stuff like this pisses me off. And, while I'm thinking about it . . . Is there anybody in the Catholic Church with more than a fourth-grade education WHO ISN'T HAWKING A BLOODY BOOK?????????

Here's some of Hartline's July 2 column on Catholic Exchange:

It started with Scott Hahn and it is still going strong. The number of prominent Protestant clergy and theologians coming to the Catholic Church has been nothing short of remarkable. Priests like Father Dwight Longenecker and Father Alvin Kimel are new to the Church and they bring a lot of enthusiasm, scholarship and wit and humor with them. Father Longenecker might be the only priest who is a graduate of the admittedly anti-Catholic institute of higher learning, Bob Jones University. Deacon Alex Jones, a former pastor in a prominent African-American Pentacostalist Church in Detroit left behind a vibrant, growing congregation. However, the pull of Catholicism's 2,000 year-old history and her ability to weather many storms was too much for Deacon Jones. He now travels around the country telling his conversion story. In addition, there have been prominent theologians and university scholars like Dr Francis Beckwith, who very recently was the head of the Evangelical Theological Society. He came home to the Church in April. The aftershocks from his reversion to Catholicism (he was born into the faith but later left the Church for Evangelicalism during his teenage years in the heyday of the "Jesus Movement,") still are being felt. He followed Joshua Hochschild who surprised many in the theological world when he recently converted to Catholicism.

In my book The Tide Is Turning Toward Catholicism, I note that while many in the media, even some Catholics, are focused on those who have left the Church, few have noticed the significance of so many prominent members of other faiths who have come home to Rome. It should be noted that many who left the Catholic Faith, usually for a non-denominational mega church, often can't give a theological reason. They can only say that they enjoy the liveliness and entertainment that a mega church often provides. It is most encouraging that Catholicism is getting the crème of the crop from other churches. Entry into the Church for these converts is usually made after a long, difficult journey to come to terms with something that they never thought possible. For some, like Scott Hahn and Father Dwight Longenecker, the Faith they once mocked is the Faith they have changed their lives and alienated family and friends to join, a decision not taken lightly.

I WILL BE DULY IMPRESSED by a Catholic! Catholic! Rah! Rah! Rah! book when I see some Catholic website hawking one that touts all the bums and alcoholics and runaways and half-illiterate trailer-park residents who are Swimming the Tiber, Which Is Full of Professors and Celebrities, by the Way (TM) as a sign of the Amazing Vitality (You'll Laugh! You'll Cry! You'll Donate to EWTN!) of Holy Mother Church.

Frankly, that approach would be much more biblical.

After all, we hear much in the Gospels about Jesus transforming and converting lepers, sluts, thieves and nuts. But I don't recall the part about the how Kingdom of God is at hand because He brought Caiaphas, Herod and Pilate into the fold.

So stop it already with all the celebrating of "celebrity conversions." The Holy Spirit, I don't think, prompts one single person to "swim the Tiber" to up the Catholic presence at Faculty Club cocktail parties. Or so we might have the aesthetic sense of the Anglicans.

It's all about immortal souls, stupid. And those can't be sold, touted, exploited or bought at Amazon.com.

Deal with it.